if i win for best blog i will “leak” a uh sexy video as reward i would offer you all blowjobs but i can’t afford to fly all over the world and not all of you have penises though i am good at pleasuring females. ew i said pleasure.
don’t forget i will also have a contest for a signed copy of marketable depression and two other luckies will get special things mailed to them and if i don’t deliver on all of these offerings you can go on a date with fil. so vote as much as you can until tomorrow when they close the polls.
who do you think will win ANTM i’m thinking that melrose will likely win if she doesn’t do something cuckoo but i would love for caridee to win cos of all three she is most likely the one i would masturbate to, she’s always nakedish and she’s smart, melrose is an immature flake. eugena is too much of a wallflower to win unfortunately. last nite’s floating in the water thing made me nervous cos i can’t float at all, i can swim v. well but float, i cannot and it’s something that you have no control over too so it was hard to watch. i like how when caridee was shivering uncontrollably melrose decided that it was cos caridee needs a lot of attention?! haha um i need attention so i will give myself hypothermia and not say anything about it until i go into cardiac arrest and potentially damage my chances of winning now THAT is how you get positive attention. fucking melrose.
don’t read anything until you vote for me cos if i lose you may as well get use to not having ANYTHING to read
now on to the funny
ok new readers i dunno if you caught this but last february i made a FAKE BLOG called tillyrabbit run by tilly/me and jamie made one called swell ideas run by hillary/jamie and merkley made one too called lonesomelildove run by lillian/merkley.
so yes my alter-ego is a fat smiley lady with cats who says LOL a lot. if you have time to waste AND I KNOW THAT YOU DO go read the comment section on all these blogs, they’re truly hilarious. the posting stopped after a few days, it was too exhausting keeping it up and i don’t know if i have the password to login anymore, feh. enjoy.
it’s funny cos some real bloggers found these blogs totally separate from my blog and they think they’re real people and leave comments while others who i told NO tilly is not a real person carry on like how people talk to puppets as if the puppet is a separate entity from the person working the puppet. anyway have fun play along i don’t care.
don’t you want a nice young loudmouth to be the face of canada, the best blog, don’t you want this to be an even bigger trainwreck? don’t you want to see me on television? strategystrategystrategynakednakednaked.
HERE IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO VOTE AGAIN it’s pretty close EVERY VOTE COUNTS don’t think if you don’t vote it doesn’t matter cos it most certainly does no offense to the other lady but i do not want to lose to a three old blog, if i win this year i will never bother you with this shit ever again. thank you for your votes thus far, today and tomorrow are the last days to vote, i assume sometime tomorrow they close the poll earlyish so get in as many for me as you can, buy your grandma a computer and get her to vote too, i would but my grandma is dead so feel sorry for me about that. no? too far?
my hits were through the roof yesterday also thanks for that ya’lls!
so totally vote and then you can read this blog for many moons to come if not, peace!
that’s goat cheese, hot salami, basil, tomato, pepper. easy. you can also use calabrese and roll them into little burrito shaped things. i am a cooking show.
Why would I want to watch a television show about the internet?
ok i am going to bribe you guys now, if i win i will hold a contest for a FREE signed copy of MY BOOK including shipping and also some other garbage thrown in there, and there will be a second and third place prize too, not the book, again, garbage that you can sell on ebay. OK. only if i win best blog, though. i have the book in my posession right now and it is signed already with a crappy drawing as well, all that’s left is to personalize it.
so keep voting daily, go to someone else’s computer and vote, go to your school library and vote from every single computer until friday december 1st.
k bye.
here is a visual of what cid thinks about marketable depression:
they are filming a movie or something at fresh (bloor/spadina) right now so if you were planning to eat your lesbian hippie lunch there, i wouldn’t, though it might be done by now i dunno, that place drives me mental MENTAL it’s like everyone is screaming when i go in there and there’s a 20 minute wait for a table usually, no thanks.
20 minutes for overpriced lettuce and yelling and skeletons walking around and pretentious nerds with lisa loeb glasses, eh, no.
i just came back from the supermarket, i have not early grocery-shopped in a very long time, i like it and loathe it simultaneously now here is why, everyone takes their sweet ass time and is in my way and acts like they aren’t and they put their grocery cart in front of all the shit i want to buy and then cock block the rest of the shelf and they are a hundred years old and act like they are the king of the annex i’m getting sick and tired of the annex-mentality HI I AM A CHARACTER IN A MARGARET ATWOOD NOVEL I AM WHIMSICAL AND KOOKY AND I WEAR WOOL SOCKS PULLED UP TO MY FUCKING ASS AND I HAVE A WITTY OBSERVATION ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE.
to you non-canadianoids, the annex is like the new england of toronto, you know, granola and hippie dresses, bongo drums and students, well-educated residents, haha, good thing i live here.
but, i prefer morning shopping to 5pm shopping, because i am a shut-in i push leaving the condo to get foodstuffs until i am starving my face off and then i get to the market and there are 200 other people there, the after work rush and everyone is in everybody else’s way and if someone even THINKS about me inappropriately i lose it.
where was i oh right coming back home by the time i get to the door downstairs i am sweating and crabby and then i get stuck behind the lady who lives next door who is at least 112 years old and walks slower than the slowest thing that ever slowed and i have all these bags and she is inching her way to the door and we get there at the same time and i already have my swipe key out, she doesn’t even notice me, she swipes her card and starts to open the door, i put out my hand and open it all the way cos she is this frail tiny hunched over thing and she goes OH I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO… and i cut her off and said I.LIVE.HERE. then i ran inside up the stairs so i wouldnt have to share the elevator with her.
i feel kind of mean but i am sick of being treated like a criminal here cos i am not 60 years old and i don’t wear an ugly fur coat people treat me like i am a prostitute but then when i am seen with fil they are all phony nice and i give them major stink-eye or i walk away as punishment while he is saying hi to them, fuck you, don’t pretend that you are not a fucking bitch to me in front of my boyfriend.
though, i have also thought it might be possible that they are afraid of me and my i am a total cunt vibe, i guess i am a little stand-offish, but it’s not cos i am a monster it is because i am shy and afraid of people ok the end.
