thank you drunken stepfather
Author Archives: raymi
merkley???: what are you going to do with your fame as best blog in canada?
me: not shut up about myself
merkley???: do you think it might turn you more crazy?
or do you think it will calm you down
me: why would it make me more crazy you think
like lindsay lohan?
i hope so
cos then i can lose a bunch of weight
merkley???: turn into a cokehead you mean?
me: no i did that already, briefly tho
do you mean full of myself more than i already am?
merkley???: yeah
but i like you that way
me: is that even possible
merkley???: so it will probably be good
me: yeah cos i can say things like I LIKE TO CREATE ATMOSPHERE and people will be forced to take me/it seriously
merkley???: ha
me: i said that in an interview once for sex tv, they didnt use the line tho
my friends were in the next room listening in and one texted me saying YOU’RE BLOWING IT
ahahahhahahaha
merkley???: nice
me: i was high as hell and drunk and on the cusp of a nervous breakdown
three hour taped interview, 40 seconds they aired
jesus
fucking trainwreck
merkley???: i wanna see it
me: i didnt even see it i passed out on atavan 2 minutes before it came on re: nervous breakdown
merkley???: although i always get a little weirded out when i hear you talk
because i had a different voice for you in my head before i ever actually heard yours
me: i have various voices, im either deep, raspy or high pitched valley girl, that’s when im drunk
please vote for me now so that i can be your lindsay lohan of canada thank you.
fil is only having sex with me now so he can get abs. i told him i was going to say this on my blog and he said i shouldn’t cos it makes him look bad, like doi you have sex to get your perv on but now cos of how insanely lazy we are, sex is the new abs machine. last nite i let him take me from behind (just pretend you are reading an erotic novel, fil is fabio and i am dressed like a pirate wench) and afterward i said WAS THAT LIKE FUCKING AN ANIMAL? fil said i don’t know i have never fucked an animal before.
you’ll have to bare with me i am a bit rusty when it comes to this shit i can’t believe how prudish i have become.
also my nails are long and witchy now and when i um touch things down there while we are, uh, hugging with our pants off (ahahahhahHAhAHAHA) i accidentally stab fil’s manhood a bunch of times.
vote for me right now if you want more crap like this in the future.
dear raymi
hey like 2 years ago i had some really serious surgery and i couldent do much. but one thing i did do was read your blog. i forget how i found it. anyways it was funny entertaining insightfull thought provoking and it even had some really hot nuidity. ive never said thanks. so thanks for making my days more bearable and go by quicker. you’re a blessing, and talented. thanks again.
vasili
HEAR THAT CHRISTIANS? I’M A BLESSING. OBVS. THIS MEANS JESUS WANTS YOU TO VOTE FOR ME!
doodboogers i know there are a lot of you i need MORE VOTES today is the absolute last day do you want me to lose to a mommy blog? OR do you want a mommy blog, TO LOSE TO ME!?!?
they will close the voting at some point today i don’t know when you should be awake right now continually voting and/or reading my blog cos if i lose nananana nananana HEY HEY HEY goodbye!
ps as your leader i will post vag shots a la britney spears except with waaaay more muff and sky-rocket to fame and say it was cos of my legions. IF i skyrocket to fame as your un-leader i will shit-talk you mercilessly. if you all vote today i WILL WIN BEST BLOG so please help and imagine everything i said in the sweetest most nicest tone of voice possible.
also i will write about having sex with fil more and post erotic photos of him.
so vote for me as many times as you can today and tell your nieces and nephews as well!
thanks mang, i heard a rumor there may or may not be a leaked oldschool naked raymi silent film here in the next few moments…
**woah it’s posted maybe i should call the police?
something is rotten in denmark, everytime i gain votes second place jumps up the same amount, who the fuck is doing this all day long for the competition!? i smite you!
AHAHAHAHAhaha
should i take this email seriously?
Dear RAYMI THE MINX (if that is your real name)
Your days of public nail-biting, drinking and muppeteering are numbered.
I will delete your blog and all its content and block http://raymitheminx.blogspot.com/ for ever if you don’t drop out of the 2006 Cdn. BLOG awards. A year working for blogger taught me how to do this. I don’t care how drunk you are, I’ll do it, as I’m being paid a substantial undisclosed sum, which is seen by my undisclosed employer as an investment towards winning the contest herself – himself.
Unless you complete the conditions of the request within three (3) working days, expect your blog to be replaced with pornography.
1. Submit your resignation to the people of the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards and remove your name from all ballots.
2. Email me a picture of your boobs so that myself and my friends can jerk off on it.
3. I also want a email greeting card wishing me a happy birthday.
Believe that I am serious, or raymitheminx.blogspot.com will mainly be remembered as a place where molesters went to pull one off.
-X.
anyway keep voting for me guys don’t sweat it.
i just tried to draw a picture of a goat on the chalkboard in the kitchen cos i wrote GOAT CHEESE 4EVER and i realised i don’t know what the fuck a goat looks like anymore, i mean, in my head i do, but that image cannot effectively make it’s way to my little piece of chalk what i ended drawing was a rendering of that moishe guy’s face from where the wild things are on the body of a dog-like thing i am going back to school. what the hell goat? do they have horns or not all i can think of is this asshole donkey with a tin can necklace on a mountain going na ah aha ah.
**ok turns out yes they have horns and they are massive, a goat not having horns is like a car with no wheels. hi grade 1 education, where are you?!
