Halloweenis costume photo submish contest

Costume Contest! $500 prize. Help me pick my photo submission please. 1. or

2. might win cos of Pauly Shore.

3.

4.

or

5. prob too slutty.

Put it in the comments. I think I already know which one I’ll submit.

If you have time check out the Fab Halloween costume contest for what the competition is like, which may help influence your votes. OMG they all suck! Thanks for your help Little Raymis!

Showgirls

Hey don’t I look like a Juglette?

You don’t have to wear that dress tonight.

Perfs setting.

My bro’s boys cock-blocked and photobombed all night long. I had enough divas in my face so I was mellow yellow all around. It sucks when you get professional, you can’t talk shit anymore about people who deserve it. That’s why we have a little in-the-know clique.

I love the movie the fifth element so I chose this couple to win, The second to this pair was gary oldman’s character and says to me, Hello Raymi, it’s me the guy who works at Watusi (my shitty date bar) do you recognize me oh yeah hi! I love Watusi and they love me over there too, I’m their best customer! If I were a doorknob into foursquare I’d be mayor.

Once ZomboKini goes on it’s party time. It’s tradition for me to wear my zombie bikini at every burlesque show at the bovine now. awwdorable.

Hey Raymi!

I’m not sure how we came about adding each other on here (which is kind of awesome . Just wanted to say…You are deadly! The pics an things you say on your page are amazing. Not to mention your style is epic! Keep everything rolling girl!!

Oh , and yes, I do recognize this is the creepiest message, all time!

Chris

At one point I said to teacher that I would make his other eye match his black eye, in front of the girls, to keep them in order, ahhaha it worked. Teacher is my point person and a vital part of our troupe and knows all our dances. Tough life much? He tells my dad all about Jazmin to wind him up.

Paddy I missed your cry me a river dance, how did it go?

Most confusing lipstick touch up ever.

By the Power of Grayskull gettin’ ready for the ball.

Can Skeletor get a plus one?

My new buddy rules, she used to skin snakes in the south and survived a garbage truck running over her. I do not hang with pussies. She’s also a talented artist/painter and has a very organized apartment. o_0.

As for me I look like p0rn0 Slitherin, Snape?

Started the night like this, it takes a lot of organizing keeping all your costume changes straight, remembering you can’t wear a certain thing cos it’s meant for a further set but the fun thing is hanging out in your outfit after your performance, stretch it out a little.

This got a bit of blood on it, I’ll cut those tutu parts off.

I love theatrical. Teacher said people were being reverential (respectful, quiet) during my blood solo yet the place was packed and it sounds dead. I was nervous but the show must go on, I don’t have time for nerves.

Welcome to the fabulous green room.

Dave (your right) told me all night long how proud he was of me and I was like all you gotta do is start a blog guy and he’s like NO REN SHUT THE F UP it’s more than that ahh wasted wisdoms are my favourite. I will trademark that.

Ha rando, teach went to get smokes and batteries.

Everyone should always come to the Bovine for last call there is nothing like trainwreck freaks all blathering about if you like to send your brain to far off howling hour places aka people who do drugs at concerts with visuals or I dunno, you know? All I’m saying is Christmas show is going to be epic the girls better start doing sit-ups cos I want to re-imagine a Victoria Secret runway with big angel wings. I’m going to dance as a reindeer, snowflakes, the mean girls sexy santa performance rip-off, oldies christmas jams I listen to at my Nana and Papa’s dreeeamy, play PeeWee’s Christmas special, or copy the entire thing. Slutty elves messing with you. I will try to hire some Little People too. Let me know if you know of one as self-exploitary as I am.

At the end of the night it’s a dance party and everyone spills on to the stage. i have a lot of great footage from our last party there, of course. Just too much.

Ew my shoulder haha it’s like texas chainsaw massacre. Poor Red Velvet’s bf (hot chef guy) missed her solo by five minutes :(.

The bikini bottoms are pretty saggy on me now.

Someone’s discarded Jack-o-lantern of course I had to dance in it for a little bit.

That’s Freddy Mercury.

That nurse sexually assaulted me, numerous times grabbing my nay-nay and teacher said her boyfriend said she does that, a lot. Yeah no shit. I have to come up with a diplomatic genteel way to handle these situations. A man said the dirtiest shit in my ear about what he would do to me, to his wife as well and then I put him on stage and she stared up, seething at us. YIKES. He was clueless to my involvement with the bovine, no I am not merely some bloody naked scene-appropriate girl, I’m the headlining act and now, come with me. All the best costumes had left by the time we had a moment to do the prize cash giveaways.

Recovery from the weekend which spilled in to Monday and I ended up going out after all as Pamela.

This one is less vulgar than the last one, which, I am proud of. Every day it is like being a new person the more toned and vampy I become, I am making a monster.

Some other indian thing we ate, we get those pouches you throw in to boiling water. Looks like beans on toast eh? Way better, I hate beans. Gross.

Pasta and sauce, I seldom have pasta so I make sure to have it when my metabolism is high functioning as it is now.

Pam always wore furry raver hats and big shades. Bad fashion and I paired it with my cheesy running shoes, as no one would be looking at my feet but it completes the fitness Baywatch fashionless intent.

Stephen suggested ditching my pants only at the last possible minute, tease them til the end. It was freezing anyway.

Do I keep these feather earrings? Please tell me! Tired of asking!

Good for a performance but a one trick pony? They were expensive.

I don’t look so tired here. Asshole.

Roots coming in, appt today.

I look like my dad as a teen here. I have lots of different looks.

Hahah. I have two red berets so I could make a dance out of that. And now TWO legit lifeguard outfits!

Ok final verdict, keep earrings or not.

So nostalgic for sunny days.

That’s ginger beer over there, I am obsessed with it.

Think how good I would look photoshopped and airbrushed like all professional models in magazines. A colleague said he thought it was impressive that I post all 100% raw material, editing nothing.

My reaction to first slipping this on made me LOL.

Halloween burlesque explosion. Teacher is home today cleaning. It’s part of my present, for what I don’t know. Well, I do. We are in the bubble phase again. Ooh I look ripped and no that’s not a camel toe.

See, err, don’t rather but you know, there isn’t enough camel to warrant a toe lol. Which is why the night of Wolf parade that guy screaming CAMEL TOE out at me was such pure bullshit, I know I do not have a camel toe, it was my onesie jumper. I got bullied by six drunk losers at a shitty party, I’ll find the post, one of the promoters was mortified because they didn’t know they were beaking off to raymi the minx and it was one of the other promoters who joined in the rallying and were all completely in the wrong. Lucas did you ever find her?

No one believed that Henry would ever actually quit.

The cats were really bored without the dog and fought more but also enjoyed their extra attention and grey cat is getting territorial over me when Stella comes near, to protect me from the cat who is protecting me from the dog. Yes it is the funny farm here, come for tea wont you!

Sunday Salvation. It is the day of the Lord after all.

Hot solo hipster brunch dudes.

Gaga wore a mesh suit thing in Telephone. I had one of these at 19 when I was an online p0rno model. Yeah, I said it.

And here my brains are being blown inside out by this height.

Will show you the video. Blog Slave OG saw it and was like WOW I am so doing this in Spring.

Ugly Raymi and Tom. Why won’t they dye her poor roots? :(.

Many essentials. My Godmother slammed in to a concrete pillar after this night $1500 later oh boy. We are doing something this weekend or when mom? It’s their birthdays one day apart. Pray for Raymeh.

Teach got a “leather” coat out of a halloween costume bag and a wig, which looks dumb but maybe I can make work?

OK time to look at some photos we just took. BYE!

The Stella Raymi Show

++++

Stella got her groove back! Humans mouths are vaginas and dog’s mouths are penises. TRUE.

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hi beautiful.

i just wanted to reach out again, to tell you your blog is getting me through another difficult turn in life. its the little things that count right now, and your blog is providing a good distraction for me at night when i cant sleep and keeping me entertained and putting a grin on my face. I don’t know if you will remember, I wrote you a few yrs ago telling you the same thing, because i was in an accident and was in a wheelchair for some time. Now, I am going through a very similar situation, only my husband is the one who is hurt. He fell off of a roof on thursday and so we are going through the process again. no one ever said life is fair, but it is hard at the simplest of times. I dont want to be a downer, in this msg. just want to tell you how your blog helps in ways you dont even know. xo xo xo

aw of course i remember you and your story lisa. you guys are clumsy! j/k. im sorry your beautiful husband is hurt, you be strong, i know you are, thanks for reaching out i love to hear from you. any time doll im here. whats the healing period goin to be in length? you poor poor things. thinking of you and if i can help in any way let me know! xoxo your friend lauren

no kidding, we are clumsy. neither of us have ever broken a bone, actually, and when we have we end up disabled. what the fuck, right. i appreciate you even remembering me. It is going to be a long recovery. we are going back to the hospital tomorrow morning, its in toronto where he was admitted (we are in barrie) So we will find out more tomorrow.. but he has shattered both of his feet, and fractured his wrist, so he only has use of his left hand for awhile (and he is a righty) He’ll be immobile for atleast 6 months up to a year they said.. I just feel like we are in a nightmare right now, yet grasping at the positives.. our 20’s have really sucked. our 30’s will be the biggest party ever. we are getting the fuck out of here when this is over and moving to the ocean in nova scotia. i really appreciate you reaching out. if i can just be in touch once in awhile to vent, or talk, that would mean a lot to me.. i have no doubt we will weather another storm. and this time around we have surrounded ourselves with more positive people than we had a few years ago. also, i am sorry i am all over the map in this msg, my head is in a million places. i really just wanted to thank you for you & your blog. honestly, really you dont know how it helps. and thank you. xo

also, i want to say because i never commented really, i am so sorry to hear about your identiy theft problem you have on your hands. i cant even imagine how that must feel. It makes me feel sick so i can’t imagine how you feel about it. that is really disturbing. catfish is actually one of my favorite documentries, becuase it is just so twisted. i hope you get things settled and worked out. xo

oh i treasure our little e-friendship very much i just got misty eyed, lisa you have been a great friend and help in bringing me up in dark times or in times of celebration you write and say, yes kid, that was well done and bravo and it makes me feel very good.

yesterday at dinner i said to teacher, everything is fine, i am exhausted and relieved coming out of last week but it’s hard sitting here with a feeling of dread knowing that psychotic people are trolling me and trashing me this very second, every positive thing I do and accomplish is blanketed with nasty negative mean abusive things, it takes the little energy and confidence i had to trick myself into facing my fears and doing things and fucks with you. my “chi” is fucked with daily and i know it will be fucked before its fucked with so I carry that with me every day, of my life. Luckily I am a fluke of nature human being who can take it and my crazy/creativity/antics and positive clique of surrounding people help cushion and protect me from such horrible people.

Your messages are grounding is what I mean and if you want me to meet up with you while you are in the big smoke I would be more than happy to oblige if I can make the time.

xo Raymbo Bright

:)

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Damn She is hot. Blog Slave said, yeah, she IS Jessica Rabbit. Totally! How is this not Burlesque? A troll has surfaced, About time! Teacher called it the SUCCESS/TROLL SCALE like CRAZY/HOT RATIO. It’s annoying. Part of me wants to say think of me as a business not a human being and you will “get it” either way, I don’t know how people bother to focus their energies on others who are doing well for themselves or just legitimately doing their own thing. There are SO many young successful women in this city in my field, all over, doing shit, if I focused my energies being jealous of them all the time I would never get anything done also I know I am unique and not in competition with any of them, I am the ************* I don’t notice til days later when someone chimes up about it, starts talking shit for no reason. I do what I love and I love what I do! Now lets hold hands and dance in a circle now.

Your debt’s paid off but it don’t feel gone

On Sunday night we went to Metro. If you are one who can make a shopping excursion into a really fun time, you are a genius. This balloon startled me, it was sideways, we were laughing at 5 magazines at once and then the balloon slowly turned, look, I was wearing shades you can imagine our state, so in the middle of laughing I went AGHH! We were a hot mess. I am saying “we” to take the heat off me. I was in a good mood coasting off a full week of ridiculous I look like a gizzard under the eyes, you will see me again next week. Ha.

We fought quite a bit but only because we were also hungover and irritate one another for entertainment, it’s exhausting! I think you can classify me as “high maintenance” I push us to our limit.

But also, I am younger and this is work. I am trying to build a legend here. I said, “You can’t be me.” Just cos I go out and party you don’t have to retaliate while I am re-cooperating and stress me out, God. Sometimes I have to go out without you. Also we live together and time apart is healthy plus we spent the entire week together, BAT SHOOT!

I noticed that Pauly Shore has been a dead issue, total pink elephant. I think we are waiting each other out. Celebrities don’t count. Stephen talked me out of stuffing my bra of my mittens thanks god because they were overheating me and that makes me anxious. One reason why I am part nudist (full) is I am heat sensitive and can just go for days sitting there nakes. I am free and need to be free I am one stuffed animal away from the crazy woman house on my dad’s street.

We hit it hard last week, I am thankful October is over. Shocktober as it is being billed, I forget where. Here we are at the Gladstone after having only 2 hours sleep? I am not one to do all nighters, they are like once a decade. My brother’s boys from the old hood crashed on the floor, one on couch, both snoring like mental and I knew would want to jet early so I got up and then Teacher suggested eating cos I hadn’t in days practically, stress, too many events, CN Tower terrified etc.. So we were disasters at brunch and now I remember how much I love brunch and want to be a brunch person because they are loads healthier and you have to earn brunch because you wake up early for it, and in my field I can’t have sleep-deprivation face so therefore I do not do brunch, I’m nocturnal. Lifestyle change time, I’m bored!

Adorable red tree!

Our walk was hilarious because everything was funny but we were so weak and cold so cold, saw a walk of shame guy clutching a 12 pack chainsmoking at the corner of gladstone and queen and his sketchy mirrored that of my own and I felt calmed and then we scored the best seat in the corner. Our server was so nice too and I was relieved i didn’t wear the same shirt she was wearing (almost did).

I had to buy hair elastics.

I looked like garbage in all of these so we fought about it.

Houndstooth shirt, I have an old man hat in the exact same pattern I’ll wear to the prohibition party tomorrow. with suspenders attached to my underwear? No pants. Hmm. Or gold dress.

This can opener is named after me. His burn. Beside it, nut cracker. That’s low-brow.

Ooh I’ll go bleach my teeth. Too much coffee.

Still recovering from last week. Splicing my long-windedness in to parts.

THE ISSUES vol. III

I look like Garth Algar. OOh this was fun to make and watch. Some actual good wisdoms and insights too, there’ll be a part four it seems cos he cut me off just as I was ramping up to a raymi HTBFOTI trade secret. I sound really angry about cupcakes too. That song is my favourite Unagi track, by my friend Brolin who is JAPANESE AND HAWAIIAN! One of my ex bf’s crew, and we all have an imaginary friend club what thinks it’s the beastie boys, yes we white boy rappers but anyway, that song is called shock and awe and it’s a good tune to throw into a set if you’re a dj. Hey! there’s an idea for easy money, DJING! Maybe Hip Urban girl will teach me. I try to dance with sean to save his bit but then I smash into the dry erase board. NEAT!

Got lots of issues with sean ward watch along with me now.

Be right back with more stupidity genius.

Raymi Gaga Karl Lagerfeld

I mixed my tracey the minx halloween costume shirt with my army nod/leopard print cardi plus Gaga shades. Meow.

My skinny pants are too big for me. Oh Deiter isn’t that just aw-ful.

Also scraping barrel bottom for clothes and am on fat phase raymi sized underwears so I legit look like a hobo junky. Heh. Makes for more interesting outfits. These man dork hipster briefs make me look like the movie Cocoon, an old geezer with saggy underwear materializing into an alien that turns into a bright glowing creature and goes to geezer heaven.

Yay doggy is back! Movie time!

The fat lady is singing for you it’s over

She looks like Denise Richards.

Ps. yes I have makeup under my already always look tired eyes, black smears from someone.

But also BRB It’s Tuesdays Smoothdays aka boozeday cruiseday. No I am not drinking again, not til wing night later on but what I mean to say is consider this a “gone fishin'” kinda week. LOWER EXPECTATIONS.

I also have to prepare my talk at SSS too for next week though I’ll pretty much just wing that now that I am practising what I preach a whole lot more, and then I’ll segue in to, “which brings me to my talk’s focus entitled: I TOLD YOU SO.” A millennial look at the internet and forward thinking, with equal parts spite and visionary aptitude. Guys I am loaded still I think so, and, this is a blog guy, it’s like quantifying my big mouth times 11 years and always thinking I am right, funnier, machismo, blabbity blah the tides are shifting and not to jinx it but, It feels really good to see the fruits of your labours and I kind of have the raymi-impersonators to thank for giving me that extra edge push into the limey light (Oh and all the super hard work I do. That too). Speaking of I have to answer those German magazine interview questions.

When do you think I’ll have time to finish my book, never? It’s a gateway book and HAS to be done so that I can write my other ones. It’s book writing month this November and a big opportunity to write and get that sorted then lie on a yacht in the french riviera. Keep your eye on the prize. Arra my friend in UK is doing it and pestering me daily reminding me and all my responses are OK KAY YEAH I KNOW All separate one word emails. I speak like a caveman when I write and when I talk, jesus, get your decoder rings out and good luck. Downloading the rest of shitty party pics from last night, I want a new camera.

It was hard to get in but I got us in. People “in the know” know this, do you guys have trade secret line by-passing tips too?

Pamela power! There were three of us obvs insta-friends.

Jen Mcneely retweeted this and said nice wax job and only you Raymi! I dry shave and girl-scape with makeup haha. the one time I had a wax I had in-growns for months it ruined my sex life plus the boutique people were See-you-next-tuesdays.

Blog slave said he was probably on a pill based on my descriptions, everyone from LA is always on stuff. Oh yeah? We kept getting photobombed or people rushing through which is why this beautiful shot came out like so.

DETERMINATION.

Yer not supposed to kiss and tell with celebrities. Except in my case I do both, but keep some for myself. Wait til the big one like George Clooney then sell it, or move in.

One of his entourage, with every photo taken they’d go Pauly, do you want another one taken? YEs. Bum squeeze. Ok another. I did this for YOU guys. YOU’RE WELCOME! Sacrifices. MMmm I want a snackrifice.

She was the morning after but ditched her man’s shirt and tie. I say give’r. Be young and free and if ya got it flaunt it it’s not about being slutty on halloween it’s the freedom of expression and creating a sexy bottle service moment. This isn’t a library for christ sakes.

Carol Zara is a well known (G4TV!) gamer babe and she likes thigh highs and is a pro. I was nervous to meet her I was really nervous period about all this but I love challenges and would not take a party no for an answer, Stephen was dressed like a drag blade runner and I was wearing my bathing suit I refused to be party debbies at the Thomspon bar, I signed on for a shit show and I got it, wait, I was talking about Carol here. Apparently Stephen is making us dinner and who is Stephen you might ask? Just a mid-forties ADD version of me who I am allowing to bounce ideas off/around/collaborate with. He last went to Vegas with nothing but the shirt on his back, he is that kind of guy. Told you the tides were changing. I might of said shifting though because I get everything mixed up. Don’t I.

I’d never been in the basement of the Thomspon before, I like this Captain Jack Sparrow dude with the castle looking wall and the huge designer lamp. One of the 400 vouching for myself and media life to the door guy was I am here to cover the party (lie, but turns out to be truth once I blog it and I blog my life so, more so true) and I cannot do that if I don’t get in, here’s my friend’s G&M card and mine, I am what I say I am and then we had a staring contest. I do not back down. He is like FIIINE where is your friend? We were on guest list but they were at capacity was the thing and we were late from talking too much to each other during pre-game drinking and time slipped away.

One good way to combat hangover is waking up and finding your picture in the Globe & Mail. Well fancy that. They edited my outfit into a normie’s for their ultra-conservative posh readership hehh. That party was a last minute idea of mine, I got the mass pr email blast like day of or before and on a whim hit reply and said can I have media invite even though it was an expensive ticket. In PR world you would be a ding-a-ling to turn down this it girl, then I brought the girls and history was made.

He is better looking than me :(.

Very nice bartenders down there.

This chap was quite taken by me but Pauly Shore was right beside me so, I had shit to do lol.

A genius flipped my phone into zoom and it couldn’t be undone, meh. This was how foggy it felt anyway.

Yum.

Sunday Cuisine. Ok I go now.