running out of summer

This was the best genie outfit I ever made. Genie Aladdin Jambi ahaha we were just doing peewee references on twitter earlier. Good morning PeeWee, GOOD MORNING MR. T CEREAL!

Don’t you wanna squeeze and hug me and steal me for winter? Aw winter. NO go away.

This is my hangover jumpsuit. I wore it the day I cooked with Marco Pierre White in San Diego amidst a the devil is on his way purgatory of a hangover, I still managed to make it to the conference thanks to this jumpsuit. This was the summer of raymi, you betcha.

As the boys smoked Angelo told us about the light box ordeal and I suggested moving it over to the left so it wouldn’t be obstructed by the post. We bickered for twenty minutes over it. Meanwhile it’s perfectly showcased here, only because I painstakingly lined up this shot being sure to omit various light reflections from the street. Being an anal perfectionist is one beat away from mental illness. Did I mention I saw my shrink today?

Tits and diamonds, where’s the error? There is none.

I wore the hell out of this cardi. I only packed two, we didn’t plan to stay on two extra nights in montreal but once we rolled up to the gallery on Friday to say what’s up it was apparent that we would DEFINITELY F-ING BE STAYING A NIGHT I don’t know why I started yelling there, it felt right, it’s Friday and I am drinking bourbon now. HELLO.

We had an amazing hangover dinner up the street at an Italian resto, on the back patio, our waitress hated us and we couldn’t stand for it so we desperately sucked up to her until the bill came. Sometimes they overhear shit and just decide to be your enemy but it turned out it was actually just her last shift. Ever. She quit. BEEN THERE!

See the firefox tee? Same brand as that heart long sleeve OMFG in love with them, affordable, higher end for sure and pricier but you know whatever, the older you get the more expensive your clothes are supposed to be. Mom did you say that to me?

Seeing the diamond graphic calmed me as I’ve one in a commissioned piece, diamonds are indelible for sure (breaky at tiff’s come on) therefore hallmarks, classic. Post modern-modern (puke term but you know you love it) back in vogue once again, triple stamped it.

I saw Alex break angel facade at one point once my little fashion shoot was done, his attention to retail detail is très magnifique. He flipped out over the placement of two trucker hats in the window and it happened while I wasn’t wearing any pants (humongous elephant in the room). Hilarious.

Totally awesome, right?

See how I changed my sweater? Our hotel is attached to Angelo’s gallery so after dinner I ran up to swap sweaters cos it got colder.

And hungover psychedelia brought us once again back within the catacombes of several continents. I am horrible at geography so don’t even ask or expect what is what.

Earlier standing around. I had attempted to wear my belt, no chance. Almost was took under by nausea and anxiety but I beat it thankfully. It’s been nothing but clean healthy diet living since we’ve been back. Bourbon doesn’t count on a Friday when you are finally getting back to unpacking and preparing for your family plus niece tomorrow afternoon GAHHH there’s so much to do including vacation unpacking and soaking up the rest of summer. Boo.

Up that street behind me are so many restaurants. Montreal food is delicious. Had the best Anti pasti of my life. LIFE!

See what I said about the slopey street? Wicked.

Platinum mane is getting really long. Like ballin’ Narnia lion long. Do you know what this means? Invincible. It appears as though I am standing on my pants, I’m not. It’s the slope.

Angelo you should loan me a piece of art to hang above my couch for all my at home dance videos. A new one a month. Teacher’s idea.

STELA’s shoes.

I can’t believe how skinny I look despite how terribly bloated I felt at the time. Before dinner of course.

That would be my up to something face.

It’s a fun space.

But I look good anywhere, don’t I?

Angelo lost his keys. After twenty minutes of zoning out I helped him retrace his steps it was like we were dating again omfg ahaha.

I am so happy I bought these slippers. Or that teacher did. SPOILED.

Sterling blow baggy. Could be mistook for the bag of Jerry Garcia ashes in half baked that stoner wears around his neck. Anyway it’s a totally creative and dark piece of jewelry. You can’t take your eyes off it. Probably shouldn’t wear it out at night in certain establishments ahahaha. Or near addicts. Or your mom.

The Vicodin. Porcelain. Classiest pill in town.

I wanted to represent each ailment the pill remedied, this is pain of the emotional variety.

This is a neat place to trip out.

I am a potato bug.

Time to BBQ the jerk chicken we’ve been marinating all day and the doggy is on her way back too. Woof! CNE tomorrow with family, got to get back to cleaning and dumping stuff I always leave everything to the last minute. Ooh can watch Jersey shore now. What a wild Friday night don’t make fun!

xo your pal raymi

MTL SPotlight: Other People’s Paintings

Other People’s Paintings Part I begins. The Grand opening party was so packed they had to spill in to the Oprah show purple yoga nerd room. Now that is hype.

Wish I was there!

Our last afternoon in Montreal was spent ambushing the fine people of OPP Galerie located at 2110 St. Laurent Blvd. We kept pushing it off and didn’t really have a plan in mind for what “it” would be, so I took the reigns and bossed everybody around for an hour or two. IT WAS FUN. I am a great director. I’ve decided to giv’em a legit advertorial feature because I am so impressed by them and proud of what Angelo (founder/owner) has accomplished and he’s not even 29. A-hole.

Here we have Monsieur, resident in-house artiste extraordinaire, Alex Slim. He paints huge colourful canvases with gobs of acrylic, sometimes adding scary details like leather face, haunting sunken eyes with gross teeth mouths, I love it! Look:

The night before whilst completely annihilated by the night before that, myself, ang and teacher wandered around OPP and I finally noticed this piece by A.slim, one of my favourites. It’s in the corner by the purple yoga class looking room (that they will be screening films in) up high for one and all to take in. It’s a fun gallery, with a colourful blend and variety of mixed media as well as retail (upstairs in the showroom), fashion and clothing accessories respectively. It’s a playground for sure OMG I should have began with that part.

The building itself is quite magnificent, OPP is on one of those crazy sloped streets so when you hang outside during an art opening you get to pose like you’re scaling a mountain which lends a cavernous castle/tower-come-bunker feel from within the space.

Replete with an ornate mosaic stone floor and requisite hipster wallabees. It feels like an actual museum, and you can see that the wall is rounded like the base of a tower, make sure you look up too, it’s beautiful, a windy staircase goes all the way up.

Deeper in to the bunker, along the corridor and through the art tunnel, of which the subject matter ranges from modern pop culture in gayly-lit pop-art, to dark, gruesome and more disturbing subject matter, banksy-ish, and abstract. It’s a wonderland for the eyes.

This is cold lampin’ I forget where I found that term, maybe a ghostface lyric, something hip hop and street. I interpret it to mean, “chillin” or “hanging oot” for the canadians reading out there. No one else I know says it. Ever. I am a wordsmith. We were straight cold lampin’ it all over Angelo’s gallery for days ‘out a care in the world. I waxed poetic on what their lives must be like running this place. I like, I like.

I have video discussing some of the pieces, this one too. It is reminiscent of peacock feathers, the artist lacquered all of the canvases giving it a thick glass material quality and the term now escapes me but if I could do it to my art I would, AND WILL. These also look like satellite photos and are hung smartly by the continents lazered in steel on the neighbouring orange walls looking on to the cork wall facing them, giving that whole section of the gallery a pentagon/area 51 quality. Or the last 20 minutes of Terminator 3. In short, awesome. You can check it out here nearing the end:

That was my post-mexican lunch happy dance.

Cork wall. V financial district. Pro guy.

How’s it hangin’? Tough? lulz. That’s two hanging jokes in one. Oh nevermind.

That must have taken hours.

Alex is a very pleasant, cool dude. I thought all french people were supposed to be arrogant and I asked him so many stupid questions he didn’t smirk once I almost started doing foolish shit purposely to test him, and still nothing. He did ask me what perfume I was wearing. Well, he is french after all. (It’s ZEN by Shiseido).

Then I played dress-up. Dress by Aah Jee. We just became fb buddies, there’s not much on her there (aren’t artists so mysterious and aloof?) but it says she studied fashion at Collège LaSalle, (which is where my mother is originally from) she is cute with blonde hair and Angelo said she cranks these knits out no problemo. Kinda like Rodarte tights eh. Are you shocked that “I” “know” “things” about fashion? I have no control over the order of my photos so more in this dress to come.

Can’t stop thinking about this shirt, which is by Wildfox. It’s very soft, Sunday afternoon soft. Preppy boyfriend bait, my specialty.

When styling your shoot know that you can get away with your pants pulled down when you’ve a long sleeve on. Then, when you’re topless the pants come on. #rules.

My Bettie Page bottoms are tight and can bunch at the zipper if I don’t contort, also I was fat this day. Too much boozing.

Each symbol, or graphic on every shirt is precisely what you would choose for yourself if you’re girly at heart. I have had whole packets of this exact sticker as a girl, teen, last week lol. Never tire of looking at heart rainbows. I am Rainbow Bright after all.

When you style thyself for a shoot, you must then pose thyself and thyself has decided to parody pop star songstresses. Yes I am one thousand per cent serious and this is what divas pose like I have decided. I had no mirrors and no prep so I raised my mawfuckin’ arm and let’er rip.

CAN’A GET’A AMEN AND A HELL YEAH!? This is my Mariah Carey.

Ooh nice twirl.

This apple is alive. There’s a real one inside, ew. Angelo knows absolutely every detail of everything, like a psycho collector. Which is exactly what he is. A buyer and cataloguer of goods, oui?

Buy that light box for your designer luxury apartment. They put that screen/print in it themselves. Looks so good. I love that scene in royal tenenbaums with the huge hipster canvas behind owen wilson over his couch, that’s when I knew Wes Anderson was a hipster, which is also consequently when I realized hipsters were hipsters, the shift from mod to hipster began. I saw this painting in Vice before the movie came out OMG that is SUCH a hipster thing to say barf. omg so is that.

Art in cinema tells a billion stories. Interesting backstory on the piece. A lot of the stuff in OPP Galerie is similar to this vein of art, enlarged hipster photographs. Retro. Chic. Bit of a drug vibe. Ultra cool. Make your own Wes Anderson scene.

Plastic brass knucks, or “grill style” bling. Also seen here:

in the comments someone said that this was the worst running man of all time. Pardon me while I partake in a “flame” “war” for a moment will ya?

worst running man of all time

geekaleek

@geekaleek Precisely! That’s because it was the Roger Rabbit. Know your dance moves playa hata! AlalalalAallaadah-da!

Nice accidental mystery camera setting!

Teach liked the canvas by my longs ass legs. I’m pretty 1970’s stacked hey? I wore my monster ‘kini in order to match a few pieces in the retail space, it’s beneath my romper. I COMMIT.

Like I said.

Hahahah remember when I said just the day before I wasn’t at all impressed by gun (by proxy violence) bravado? (lots of happy scrolling you’ll find it). can you imagine slipping one of these into your little brother’s LEGO by mistake? Oh aww a bow-tie. (changing subject).

VICODIN pill necklace, porcelain as well as silver, and an oxy, no wait I think it’s a percocet. I KNOW RIGHT. Here’s a closer look. Great packaging too. Clever city.

Bullet earbuds. I believe that is severely tempting fate, playing with it for sure. Pass.

This talented street artist’s name is STELA, so tight right. I’m going to send a pair of shoes for painting.

Ang and I share a penchant for the movie Big but he beat me to it though, his loft, this toy vending machine of dead stock retro designer shades. Porsche, Playboy, Caviar, Cazal, carrera, Versace, everything!

Browse a little.

I bought this. Also one for teacher, it’s white with red and black brustles. Looks Nazi. Mine is for my Rasta mornings. I will likely give it away as a gift.

Couldn’t resist.

Thought these were perfume bottles at first.

Oh I’m an idiot. It’s O P P. Stands for other people’s paintings. When Angelo told me about it on msn or something I was like pfft as if, right? Touché buddy. Showing people up is my favourite thing in life, I remember in Vice employees of the month (yes another reference sheesh) section they profiled an artist, former vice employee who left to embark on her own art career for success and they ripped on her for that, then she did it, succeeded, showed them up and they printed that their faces were red. I loved that and I LOVE this gallery, cheers Angelo!

Not that he had to show me up or anything but, anyway, he began OPP because he said he doesn’t know anyone our age who collects art, invests in it and so on. Good point. I asked Alex if “art was back” and he said yes. I assumed it was, or is about to be. ON THE CUSP, DUDES!

Hi Terry! Who wants to watch Cheech and Chong now?!

Ok so these are by Porsche right? Why? For at night (wind)? Or just to be a penis? ‘Cos they’re not prescription but I guess you need to fill them with something. Fashion is confusing, don’t question it. Just assume it’s right. Snob’s guide to life.

Ok I am turning this report in late and chopping it in half, it’s too sunny to waste. Be sure to drop in on OPP mes amis and say hi to Angelo, you will not regret it.

Want me to come on down and feature your space, boutique, restaurant, event, anything? Don’t be shy!

RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM

I’m your it girl, fit girl, too legit to quit girl.

xoxo

RAYMONTREAL

Do you want a raymi video added to your resto feature? I’ve been practising. Next time bringing my own lighting. How do you like my adorable crappy french speaking? This martini I am drinking is called GHB. It tasted like pizza. I swear! We got concussed here, down right polluted. The bill was $400 pre-tip. More from this sloppy wonderful night here. We are post-Quebender depressed. Watching Limitless. I am squeezing my swarovski pen like a teddy bear. I forgot my entire bag of makeup at the hotel and had to buy everything today. So expensive. Then I went on a psychotic run like wolves were chasing me, and then I discovered truffle spray at the supermarket. Yum.

Out of the Woods and into my basket

RIP Rob Ford. You invited me to City Hall and I never took you up on it. Just before your scandal hit home. I’ve always wondered what would’ve happened if I took you up on that invite.

Lucky number slevin. Ready for seven minutes in heaven with your pal, Raymbo? Knowing the power of your post before you post it, how to not let that change the creative process? Is it possible? no. It’s not. But you carry on like it doesn’t. Luckily, the subject matter and content ratio for this post isn’t de rigueur so maybe I can hide the stupid somewhere in-between. (Puncturing these snaps with some of my moms. good luck readers).

Benny and I and Dan Aykroyd’s crystal head vodka shot glasses. Benny is the eldest performer in the company and has been with the Famous People Players since the very beginning.

Colleague, what did I tell you about flash?

‘Cos then everyone could better see mom going in for the Chris Woods kill.

I spy Afrim and Chris Woods. Can you spy the ones who have crushes on me? haha.

Founder Diane Dupuy chattin’ with City, no biggie.

Diane’s daughter Jeannine holding the fpp‘s playbill.

Else said grace while Dan Aykroyd was holding my mom’s hand, great timing mom (the moment she will NOT STOP RECOUNTING I swear by this point they are going steady) and he was so touched and that’s likely why he wouldn’t let go of her hand, I was standing right there, it was a very surreal moment, with his other hand he put it across his heart and I stood there with EVERYONE’s eyes on us oh so awkwardly crucifying my mom in my head ughh haha.

The man behind the delicious food prepping it, I love these moments before the storm, dude keeps it cool.

Hi Lois!

Hey Chris why don’t you take me along to your night catering for the fords, I know it’s what they really wanted most of all, speaking of, how close am i to auctioning dinner with raymi off? lulz raymi@raymitheminx.com (WHAT!? i love to eat!)

Kitchens excite me. They remind me of Goodfellas.

Just legit bangin’ ‘em out. fantastic. Here are the actual components:

Roast Organic Heirloom Beet Salad
Watermelon Radish and Pea Tender Slaw
Citrus Jerjus Vinaigrette, Chive Oil

Charlene gets to do the coarse salt (assumedly of the sea) . At this precise moment in time I am pouring champagne all over our table. I kept thinking the bottle was just about empty. It wasn’t.

The big moment. Le big kahuna arrives. My mom and I lost it. We are canadiana fanatics. She spent the day researching Dan Ayrkroyd ahahah (I have seen the great outdoors 300 times fyi).

I am fatal attractioning him right out. LOOK AT ME. I should have worn fluorescent and then jumped onto the stage during an act pretending to be a butterfly. I’ve done stupider.

I love it when celebrities make celebrity jokes, like, “we use our celebrity to help raise awareness…” in a truly humble, honest, self-aware way. Dan did that and too bad for him because it made me 30% more intent on stalking my prey all night long. Why do you think I dressed like an ice skating olympiad?

While stalking your prey you study and take note of its gentle, kind nature.

Oh boy!

Heart-melting. Proud parent of performer, said performer and Dan. Omg am I going to doodle Dan Aykroyd hearts on my trapper keeper next?

Mom fought her way and stood her ground once I dared her to, but I couldn’t look strangled my linen and covered my eyes with it instead until the precise moment when mom’s embarrassing hold-out paid off to the me and my daughter window of photo-posing opportunity arrived. These seconds last lifetimes, notice?

Oh my.

Then your hero wedged right on in.

Look how happy he is. I think he smelled my hair.

I don’t know what i am trying to pull here but i think it worked whatever it was. by the way, my earrings are glass cubes, they’re dope.

No one can seem to figure out what the medal means.

We had the best placed table, I could see every vantage point and the mayor’s puppet was right behind me, obviously everyone would look over to it and by proxy me all night long and some of these people are Very Importants.

For example, the guy beside my mom said a table of blokes thought she was a tv personality, news of some sort. I encouraged him to to encourage that notion. Watch out susan hay, tracey‘s comin’ for ya.

And cos I was a blabberholic All night long I ate the slowest and couldn’t finish one course and therefore a twig the next day. Yay!

Ready for more, buddy?

This is in the front foyer. the puppets and props are phenomenally-made, uber-detailed, and so totally ridiculous, trippy, wild and fun. Nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

The crystal head makes the rounds. The ford family I think took it all home, they were very generous to the fpp. Everyone is bowled over by the success of the charity auction celebrity gala. We made history baby!

Look how smooth I am, that’s my card in his hand. Haha.

Benny does it all. These guys serve, train, and then perform. Brilliant.

Then the ford picnic began.

This is like watching battle on the plains of abraham somewhat. I just came back from quebec. What do you want from me?

Didn’t take me very long did it now? Champagne helps.

Babes.

I think everyone went a little nutzo. The energy was fantastic.

I should have worn a big minnie mouse bow. Takes my hair a few hours to relax once I wash blow-dry and flat iron it why is that the loser caption to this photo? Unbelievable.

We are all special. Here, I am stuffing my hair into my nose. It’s how I relax.

See my earrings? I am going to wear them today. they make my ears read from the clamp but whatever. angelo gave me an amazing pair from his galerie store, they’re copper danglers, one says OUI one says NON. Don’t you love it?

Wow what a moment. Chris is like here Rob, I drew you a picture of a dragon.

Didn’t notice this until saw the photo. My dad has my brother’s ghostmobile, what was it called? But ugh how I wish I’d have thought of this.

Awesome.

Where’s Raymbot?

I’m a performer too. No seriously. It might happen now. First ever front of house performer they hire lol. Here’s a Ghostbusters reference/joke, Raymi, if someone asks if you’re a performer (blogger) you say yes. Actual ghostbusters quote, “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a God, you say YES!” ahahahha.

Fran stole our set-up.

Aaand here’s our moment. Got me on love lockdown.

Mom and I are so shy and fighting it. That’s why we have to get plastered.

Smooth criminal strikes back, he’s looking at my card, I’m laying on the I AM AMAZING super hard, he is politely taking it in whilst mom expertly dina lohans and lois, I have no idea what she is doing, hiding?

Chris‘ wife. I wonder if I can share the colourful things I learned about Dorothy’s glory days. I love secret freaks.

Uh oh am I starting to look like one of the Pristines?

To be a fly on this wall. We wore equally slutty dresses. I think she was thinking what I was thinking. VEGAS! Plus with Lois right over there.

Reality tv show: ALPHA MADAMES. Starring zero men. Gonna be hot. This is a still.

So it’s like, watching a mime act except thrown through a cyclone of lazer floyd, and a mushroom from alice. My colleague has told me about this production for months, which to self-involved me half-listening while tweeting and gossiping, is hard to make sense of, what? Black jumpsuits, puppets? What are you getting me into this time Scooby? The one thing that resonated, intrigued and piqued my curiosity most of all though, was the players. He told me you wouldn’t know that any of these performers might be special, cos it’s all black, you see nothing but the props. Of course my critical person had to be on board and see for myself these savants and exceptional creatives. Prepare for nothing short of amazement.

Our table didn’t get one of these.

Trouble? A-noooo.

I had to pull my shirt dress down so many times I stretched the strap right out. It’s by Le Chateau. I love it thank you Steph.

It’s like a SNL wall of fame in there, or Second City, which Dan also made mention of. SWOON.

Look how tiny am. Yay. Don’t worry I’m a cow again after my booze holiday and I haven’t worked out in ages :(.

The show begins. It’s Disco fever. SO FUN. Dan is in the front row in the white shirt. I have no idea what the show was about cos I was staring at him the entire time ahhaa. No kidding I watched both.

My mom is telling me that the buzzard behind her jammed her long fingernail into her shoulder while snapping at her to move. I was repulsed. I see women treat my mom like garbage all the time cos she’s pretty, charming and bubbly. You have to be mean to other women sometimes because they force you to. Sickening. We get enough crap from men we should be nurturing and supporting one another ladies. Tsk tsk.

My reaction. Mum also loves to stir up the dramz and knows I’ll flip my lid.

Such cheeky performers too, very clever. Someone must have studied the art of comedy, dragging out a joke, understated movements to garner laughs, it all worked. Superbly and we all know how much of a critic I am.

You can get away with some lewdiness (it was an adult audience TBH) because they’re props, puppets yeah? God I loved this.

Oh yes this reminds me, sunday of the long weekend I’ll be doing a burlesque show at the bovine. End of summer bash. Do come.

Lois was in another part of the audience (bawling and cheering), why no pics of her yet hey? I know my colleague got some but they’re not til the end.

They got Dan up.

There was some freaky sh-.

Blues Brothers homage. The guy who played John it was his birthday this night, one of the singers sang to him accappella and everyone bawled their eyes out, because he stood there with his hat to his chest with Dan beaming at him omg I am tearing up right now i know Lois was a friggin’ waterfall. I think crying makes my mom uncomfortable when she’s being hyper so she just laughed at me. This is what we call a classic raymi mom & godmom SH- SHOW night. Which should be the name of my show.

Can you even see anything?

I went Welsh face.

Oh my god. So emotional. She belted it too it was like relax dude this isn’t the SkyDome.

Story time. More cheering and crying.

Sponsor a performer. Nice.

Then it was our turn.

Good thing we wore black.

When you can confuse those who confuse, I think you are on to something. I will show you eccentric.

That’s dan’s wine. Notice the background props moving.

Hey mom which sex and the city character are you? Gahahaha.

This was fun. Did I say that enough yet?

No problem!

I felt it was an abuse of social media power being in the same room as the mayor during this event, knowing exactly where these photos were going to go, the double entendres, the not even having to say anything cos the hordes of readers will. I just don’t think it’s proper etiquette to drag politics into that of special needs, is all and i tend to shy away from being political period here, as that is not what this blog is about (entertainment, food, culture, celebrity, city gossip, lifestyle, travel, art, fashion, a distraction from reality not toxic negativity) so, what i was saying was, I bit my tongue and gathered all my material.

Engaged in performance art.

“Train” “wrecked”. Like any hero would.

Gave it my all.

Nope, now, just right there.

Mom extracted ancient wisdoms. This is Diane’s mom, she is 95 and folds napkins for the dining hall. She wore a ball gown. FABULOUS. She told my mom she gained her independence when her husband left and all this other brave shit. Excuse me, does anyone have Oprah on speed dial?

Then I reverted back to a ten year old while my mom moved in on Dorothy’s husband. MOM I AM WORKING HERE!

Then Chris was like oh don’t worry raymi I love you too. Ew are my mom and I going to star in a movie like Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love hewitt? NICE!

Haha the flying money.

Paul Rudd? Holy crap he is in every movie you forgot about right? We just saw him in Quebec City (in a movie not irl) in a bad Reese Witherspoon flick. Ugh so depressing, also on a rainy day too. Anway thus ends my heartbreaker segue joke.

Ron James came in to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, Chris, we’re through now. I get very jealous. It’s true. Like the good kind of psycho, don’t worry!

Omg I am so tanked. Celebrities make me lose my sh-.

That’s Rob’s mom behind me. I think his brothers wanted to buy me ahahaa. I was done networking by then and knew had pushed my luck in the scandalization department so I didn’t jump on his back. Was tempting. You can get away with anything when you dress like a nordic ice dancer.

Busted by Rob Ford’s mom. Mom talked our way out of it. His brother used it as an opportunity to chat me up. I panicked.

Leggy Lois finally appears. You’ll see more of her in mom’s and Paula’s pics (I am content overload).

How about a private vineyard stroll in the fall, Dan? Oh what’s this? The mail is here and it’s a, restraining order? what?? Cannot be. Okay I can’t tell if this is even funny anymore I am brain-fried from vacay.

In summation, Amazing performance theatre plus celebrities, gourmet cuisine, VIPS and raymitheminx equals a good time. you know who to call! (ghostbusters).

Lolz. ok here’s my mom’s I got tired of trying to insert them within the post.

One of the performers/staff walked in and took this, my mom and I were squabbling and she was stunned, and mother ever the opportunist greedy attention pot stirrer, pretends to cry and plays victim which of course makes me choke her out and thus the self-fulfilling pity prophecy comes full circle right into her hand. Works every time. I am then scolded by the performer, this tiny adorable little woman. But then she zinged us on the way out too bahaha.

Love your shoes mom.

EVERYONE loves Lois.

Twinning.

Once you’re drunk and spazzy everything makes you cackle and laugh and GAAAHH every corner you turn one of these acid trips is staring DOWN AT YOUUUUU! Kinda chucky cheese with the psychadelia cranked up.

See how quickly we Kerouac’s convert?

Nice one mom. Rob Ford, Diane Dupuy, Afrim Pristine, Dan Aykroyd and in the foreground some guy ahaha.

I need to get invited to more of these things. Hello Playboy mansion I am looking at you.

Hot girl comedians. Come on. No brainer. Cause we got no brainz.

My mom is super into these cheesy shots. Steph, before this she goes ok lauren, NOW, “With LOVE” that is the theme of this portrait. benny posed with her. Second time tonight I got ditched for that broad. I’m a Boston her.

Brat pack.

I can fit into any space perfectly and with ease.

See? Colleague says this is why my blog went gangbusters yesterday, this hog belongs to newstalk 1010 jerry agar. Also might I remind you that I am wearing a SHIRT and none of it touched seat if you know what I mean. Blushing.

Cute an creepy, love old plush things, retro. Then we discovered the puppeteer sticks and went ballistic with the lion’s legs hahaha.

milf!

Why Mother, how presidential of you. can easily be glimpsed for Clinton and Lewinsky AHhahahaha.

Blonde, red and black. Rawr.

These two servers? Adorable. He was so Rainman, just precise and so intelligent, total savant. Made sure our water was full. i said mom look, I love that one. Ask for some water. Shoulda seen what happened when i ordered more flutes and a second bottle of champagne. More performing in the dining hall for sure. Interacting with the cast was so cool.

Winding them up too. Blonde hair has saved my ass so many times. Phewf. People believe (and all people in general not the ones we take advantage of which actually, is all people too, no one is spared) that what they are seeing is what they are supposed to be seeing when they encounter my mom and I stuffing our faces in the trunk of an elephant’s snout, we hypnotize them with our bullshit, colleague or Lois captures the magic and voila: CRAP-O-BLOG-FANTASTICA!

Best night ever!

That’s Eileen. She’s an old gal, we told her my Nana (my mom’s mum) is named Eileen, they’re BOTH 81 and BOTH from Manchester, or near the same town as each other. Can ya baleeve it? I was blasted when we discovered this an bubbly nearly shot out-ma nose, ach it did. did’nt it mum.

The one I choked my mom in front of. She got over it quick.

I’m the sparkly thing that draws them in and my mom’s the Scorpion who goes in for the kill ahaha, what’s that called a Black Widow?

Need to do a redux to the guide to sneaking into things. Step 4: Ambush.

Oh. Is this thing yours?

How much airbrushing did you do to this photo mom?

Hahah awesome.

They did not stand a chance.

Yes, I do have a bright future Mr. Mayor. I do a lot of good for the city. Fact.

Team Girls swooping in.

OH MY Gawd. It seems a lot more scandalous this way. I just thanked Jerry over twitter for the ride.

Isn’t Etobicoke the Jersey Shore of Toronto too?

CUTE!

Fabulous!

See? No one can resist my mother.

Hahaha this just keeps going omg. No wait it’s done. YES!

RAYMiViSiON

i was trying to come to the words lady sovereign and it was not happening.

i do a little stripper dance at one point here. i am great.

i love that shirt. i thought about it all the way home and smiled picturing myself and the pictures it’s like f-ing permanently tattooed on to my brain like the care bears. it’s like wearing an ecstasy pill. this shirt. everything i tried on you can buy obvi. not at sky rocket prices either but yeah, holy crapola the clothing selection angelo has is mint. fashion groupie to a whole new impressive level. some pre-teasers may be found here. triple-a faaabulous time montreal i will def be back again. thanks a much. yes that is a new saying i just started.

hillary banksy a bye bye.

What i’ve done so far today: Quebender Chronicles

rolled up and out and into a clockwork orange reverie.

made breakfast.

opus is where all the stars stay.

drank breakfast.

walked through the gardens, and by gardens, dance club lounge roof patio, all while savouring a delicious granny smith. part of breakfast what i prepared lovingly.

checked it all out.

dukes of hazard or bust, guy.

played stand-in for heather graham, austin powers 5?

what’s up churchills?

i need to check out switzerland next. i’ve been reading a lot about it lately.

i liked that building.

nom-diddly-om.

said hello to our neighbours. (fixed my hair in their window’s reflection).

went for a walk about.

kissed the boys and made them cry. look how french my eyebrows are right meow. tinting them gold when i get back homme.

hitchin’ a ride southwest.

boned up on my elements.

orange you glad i didn’t say banana?

i said to teacher i want to live in a hotel. he goes, I KNOW YOU DO. ahahaha.

just pour rire behind me, they’re moving it i am sad. it’s like not ever seeing a game at maple leaf gardens, not the same. though i caught a game with my dad against florida. thanks dad!

next it’s pack, gallery, and gone. :(.

downstairs in the hotel is angelo’s OPP gallery we have spent so much time in it i am starting to dream of it. and down there it’s like the basement of the pentagon with these pieces made of sheet metal, something thicker. some art was bought by opus for their lobby and lounges.

it’s been the greatest time.

à bientôt mes amis!

Ray-mi-eet Rob Ford. RAYMI ATE ROB FORD?

What do you think i am thinking here? best caption wins something. Look at my shit eating grin for one thing, my mom looks overwhelmed. She was probs eyeballing Dan Aykroyd. TAG TEAM.

hahahahha ahhh yes. if you’re greedy for more teasers from this night voila click for my post buried from a few days ago i blog too much. don’t stop til you’ve blogged enough sha-moan! psst. in the “if anybody cares” file here we have my twitter @raymitheminx follow me and lets talk shit all day long together.

this post is far too long to do on vacation so i look forward to rehashing the evening’s events first thing tomorrow moanin’ as by the time we get back today i’ll have scrambled brains from the carbage voyage.

the bobbsey twins are a great team.

mom your arms are so toned!

see you soon onterrible! missed ya.

older white dudes and harleys, like peanut butter and jelly.

oh it was brought.

and then there are my mom’s photos to blog as well. oh man. actual work.

and don’t forget our food(ie) crush on monsieur chris woods. i might have to drink a bottle of champagne to get through this one and remember precisely everything that went down. also, i like bubbles.

dan! call me!