bienvenue au vortex

bonjour, comme ca va?

i felt far too stereotypically french girl in this get-up last night. oh well c’est la vie!

this is how i went out to the rippers. i am calling the spoke club’s ancient telephone. hello? are there any self important mysterious rich dudes lingering around the lobby, yeah? well tell them i am busy, i can’t talk right now bye. you shoulda seen the looks i got all weekend long and i know i talk about that a lot but that’s why you read my blog, it’s a virtual reality raymi experience, you as me, and guess what you did last night? tons of shit! you were awesome and everybody loved you.

oh god. minibar tally from the manoir victoria. i was like, where is the box for EEEVERYTHIIIIING?

we drove through several climate changes. the french countryside? is it called that? but anyway it is beautiful. it was dusk by the time we were leaving montreal for quebec and we were carbage crazy. it was nice to see it en route back to montreal.

traffic was smooth sailing. i read two copies of vice.

there is a european finish to all that you see. truly lovely. many people we hung with last night have never even been to quebec city. it is a must. i’ve been referring to it as canada’s cheap europe.


that and the other grey sweater with the yellow stripes are the warmest layers i’ve brought. today it is so gorgeous i want to lounge on the outdoor patio after i get this crapaholic post up.

every five minutes i’d stop reading and take pictures of stuff, namely, self. duh le duh.

it’s safe to say these watches are a fad. once they pop up so quick, they vanish just as quick (got mine in wasaga beach). hi, have we met? i’m called i know everything. what’s up.

fleur de lys signage! so medieval. which quebec city totally is. it’s like crawling around a kingdom, except walking, in wedges.

street shot!

ang’s roof view. prick. great rent price too. asshole. his loft is like f-ing BIG.

tried on so many hats and all looked stupid, the vision i had wasn’t panning out but i was intent on getting one anyway and this dumpy thing was the charmer of the bunch. they had all these signs saying no pictures and a cartoon drawing of a shitty customer posing with a coonskin hat on and a good customer in the process of purchasing tourist junk with a wad of cash in their hands. i imagine they must get hordes of asshole tourists, lots of things are chained down to their shelves too.

when we checked in they asked if we wanted evian or wine, moments prior, pickled as all hell i was like, ok maybe ill tone’r down on the booze today. then a dinner bell went off in my ear and i heard FREE WINE. sweating on ice in the sun through the modern window. we were handed a goblet each. heaven and luxury. sober day will start tomorrow.

i die for these modern hotel rooms and turn them into my beaver damn cave instantly. everyone is so sweet. i guess in the hospitality industry such as hotels are, you can’t be grouchy. i’ve harassed the front desk and concierge 3 times each since deciding to stay on another night. they think i’m a freak. i wonder if angelo gave them my blog. he’s glad we’re staying longer cos we can delay the gallery shoot for another day now. he is hung as crap too, i’m surprisingly not as bad as i thought i would be now that i am becoming human again as the day carries on. he doesn’t normally drink but when he does it’s all suicidal shots of bourbon. we had an amazing feast last night with these two young party girl french chicks, one ginger, one brunette, and me blonde. charlie’s angels? they were non-stop, loved them. oh i just remembered this one resto we were turned away from cos the chef was too drunk and a black matte mercedes was parked out front like the batmobile it was SO DOPE and you drink here til 4, i forgot about that. yeah i can never live here i would be dead by 30. i spoke to many artists last night, very eccentric and i consulted by concentrate every which one of them. they all said they were lazy and i said marketing is more than half the work of art, so you can’t afford to be lazy. one guy is making a play based on a guy similar to angelo, so bizarre. ok if i don’t jump to the next photo i will never shut up here.

thanks again mykel!!! i want a barbie head one for my niece’s birthday please thank you. no is not an option. teacher didn’t wear it out.

love the set-up. how long did they labour over which way to pose the chair?

no more room pics cos it’s all a sty now. no just kidding, tickle trunk trinkets are just scattered everywhere.

our view. that’s just pour rire down there, the white marquee. cool eh!

clever classy. ear plugs. the ceiling is also quite amazing.

so over this colour. normally i bring several bottles and nail polish remover with me, but didn’t this time, just the bottle to keep reapplying where it chips. i’m getting a minx manicure when i get home. roots too. oh platinum, you’re so high maintenance.

smooth bed. very different room than our chateau nook in q city.

sigh. now i wish i scooped that birthstone necklace. it felt a little excessive. we shopped a lot.

just using the bottle of gin as a prop, hell no we aren’t touching anything here. 49 for a mini bottle? i wanted a glass of champagne but they don’t do by glass so i’m having our own gas station coors lights at the moment and a burger plus poutine is on the way up. this is a way better idea than sitting in the carbage for 6 hours. we’re going to a meaty hipster resto tonight i cannot wait, we saw it yesterday, all these hipsters in plaid shirts, v cowbell/parts ‘n labour/black hoof.

see the ceiling if you can get past the other weird shit that’s going on, it’s like total recall the matrix cinderblock with a glaze finish, totally why we didn’t feel the earthquake.

when you go to the strip club you have to dress like a whore.

nice backdrop. we didn’t let the maids in once. i get kind of howard hughes sometimes about strangers messing with my stuff cos i leave it all laying out self-entitled in a disarray, an organized mess that i know where everything is, even a hello kitty earring beneath a sock in a certain fold of the sheets DO NOT FUCK WITH MY ORDER!

and my new look is medieval. so many dresses i wanted here, so expensive. like faire outfits with bodices, lots of ruching and curvy sexy goth princess being captured by a dragon in a tower type pieces. i was like, where would i wear this? omg EVERYWHERE. teacher was really into it too. angelo coincidentally showed us some rings he has and said that goth stores are the secret to cool hipster accessories. truth! just check my maypolesque head wreath, don’t i look like a bounce dryer sheet commercial?

the first one i tried on was the winner, perfect fit, white flowers not too loud, matches my ice white hair omg i need a baby doll nighty and a baby deer to run by.

zero per cent into gun bravado kitsch. i guess this is irony, no, stupidity. i like the crystals though so…

omg i am already bored of this bikini (just kidding).

just kinda busted myself on the gun bravado trip thing non? well it goes with le chapeau and the burger just arrived. it didn’t stand a chance, nor the poutine. i have make out face from trying to shove the burger in mouth (it’s on big brown texas toast so good!) like a dog with a yard long bone through a doorway, we are classy degenerates and its felt like sunday for the last 3 days for us, you know what that feels like right? yeah, extending the party forever. he goes back to school super soon. poor dude. but who will i mentally abuse all day long now? haha he said aw hopefully it’s still me.

my abuse comes with fur. ooh so lewd. rude dude. i’m speaking all oakville 20 year old now after last night.

the news is so sad today :(. pen from angelo.

i stopped doing shots way before everyone else. there’s no point, i am already crush fucked and trust me you will not like what happens after that shot, i’m already perfectly good to go right now and i always hit the water a few times in between. drink responsibly, booze bags. though we were partying with kids so they tend to forget you’ve been doing this a lot longer.

ahh gad the poutine has turned on us, noooo.

raymi’s angels. this dinner was phenom. tartare and ceviche, plantain chips with salsa, coriander chicken balls, candied salmon, tons of drinks and shots. fantastic place, i want a bar like this in toronto.

we started on a high note and went to shittier and shittier dives, they were all fantastic. i liked the sad chairs in this raised level part, you could smoke in the back room (gross)(to which i became progressively more vocal about as the night wore on, how disgusting everyone who smokes is ahha i am a bitch and you deserve it) and we kept bumping into this girl who read my blog since she was 18 (now 24) and angelo’s like, dude, you impressed me. meanwhile he’s all established and successful and some girl comes up to me in a hole in the wall and says hi and i somehow win ahahaha. well, he likes redheads. we had THREE in-tow last night. anyway look it’s two raymis. eerie.

shitty, pointless, but it’s still content, roll with it!

me a couple hours ago. BYE!

this is the end, beautiful friend, the end.

staying one more night!

brb cousins.

apparently there was just an earthquake. didn’t feel it though. hotels are pretty fortified yeah? our rate is so cheap it’s stupid not to take advantage of it plus we’re too hung to drive and would probably fight the whole way home and eat a mountain of st. hubert.

bibelots de voyage

just wait for my story about returning a french onion soup here. encroyable! had to pull out the i am a food critic and i do this for a living big guns. ontario won in the end and yes it got provincial. fuck this pub.

now we are in mtl. glorious! amazing boutique hotel and a sweet rate :). summeraymi rules. going out to party with my ex bf now, his art gallery is attached to this hotel which explains the rate hook-up. got my davy crocket hat too.

brb with some more snaps. SO MANY.


How ya doing lady? I saw you walking down queen near gladstone last week. Woulda said hi but the heels you were wearing gave me an inferiority complex ha

Raymi Lauren White

gahahahha awwww next time do say hi. i march like i am on a catwalk cos i am shy so i understand.

the hello kitty store. my brain exploded. i kept it down to a ring and bracelet, stopped myself at the birthstone necklace. the shop owner was like, is this for you? yeah duh look at me dude.

hk toque. i would look stupid.

there’s a thing on dave navarro in maxim (i only read boy mags) and his hello kitty addiction. he said its become the ed hardy of the alt world. true enough.

i hope i don’t lose my emaciated-looking abdominal thing i have going on right meow.

check the sad panda comin’ in behind me.

peeping tom. this is actually a bikini. smart. they were playing horrible music, maybe the dookie green day record is ironic now? or maybe french canadian bohemes just have horrible taste in music. i’m sorry but i fuckin’ hate green day and if you don’t, i hate you too. KIDDING! not about my green day disdain, it’s just loud garbage noise and every song is exactly the same.

i could dance in this. WILL dance in this. plus davy crocket hat. then i’ll skin and eat a squirrel.

i switched the top for a smaller size cos i felt like it would make my bewbs look bigger, but maybe not i dunno they’re big(ger) at the moment which is nice. doubt it’ll last. you can’t tell to look at them but to touch, def booblier.

i am already emo from having left quebec city, staying on an extra night in montreal is helping though. bring on the bourbon.

hah trophy girlfriend hat. ever notice how trophy wives have terrible fashion, typically tacky but cos it’s sleek and fresh and expensive, therefore ok?

i am a bit tired looking. vacations are tiring. so are hangovers.

ok i have to sew a button now. men are useless. but it’s fine cos it’ll pay off like gangbusters as a woman sewing a button is the equivalent of a man, i dunno, shovelling the driveway?

haven’t even bothered uploading mystery camera shots i know it’ll just keep me desk chained longer.

see ya later.

rip jack layton. always dug your style.


ok I’m on it.. ill talk to the actual owner tmrw. not just some front desk biatch. ps french people are never rude. They have this place to keep them happy. Quebec is like the mexico of canada – Quebexico. since your last email had funny photos. here you go.

abandon insouciant

don’t care if it’s raining, keep smiling. you don’t frown in eurodreamy paradise.

cardi, tank, pants all from bluenotes. socks too. when we burnoutington we go ridiculous shoppington.

when we hit this corner that’s when it starts, shameless gawking. i was made for europe and no, yes i am aware that this isn’t it but it pretty much is at the same time. you must come here.

if there were two of me who would win?

garbage bags or umbrella? albeit rainy, still balmy :).

didn’t even notice the price. bargain!

love our lil darjeeling limited window nook.

perfs for emo window gazing shots.

somehow i’ve gotten way tiny AND my boobs are huge, whaaaat? in my primal i guess.

i had four. i was bummed it was rainy so i made it sunny in my mind. our server was great, loved us. french people haven’t even had a chance to be mean to me, they’re too transfixed i will definitely be back.

fried cheese floating in marinara.

tandoori poultry, shrimp, mango salsa, basmati, roasted garlic. this place is high end. we came here our first night and sat on the patio it was so dreamy. it’s beside a cinema with the oldschool bulbs and marquee. bliss.

attached to this theatre.

i have photos all over this town from when i was 14. i look totally stupid in them though.

haha knackered. we hit the wall last night, didn’t end up going out to chez maurice :( but we’re going out early evening to get into some mischief and staying a night in montreal tomorrow. wuhoo.

went hello kitty harajuku on the feet. just cos it’s raining doesn’t mean i can’t be fab. i am intent on murdering these steve madden wedges anyway. brought my other ones, the big stacked ones. i do not want to break an ankle on a whimsical cobblestone cluster so i’ll stick to these ones, and maybe my black burlesque shoes in case i feel like hitting the amateur stage. i am searching for a cabaret. was going to wear that blue/red toque but i have too many stripes going on and before you harp me for socks and sandles, talk to a man. this is eurotrashion. it is hot. we met a cute pixie who played the theremin in park slope many years ago who was wearing white ankle socks and black heel sandals, horrible and mesmerizing and my boyfriend the pervert couldn’t stop himself from saying I LIKE YOUR SOCKS. ahha fucking perv. i was 18. i knew what was up. she invited us to a dawn of the hipster on the lower east side loft party. that was an amazing time in my life. anyhow, when i cap an outfit off with something slightly freakish or bizarre, it pays off. live like a fantasy and see what happens.

pub wasn’t sumptuous enough for me. its patio was packed yesterday while we dined from the other more whimsical place across the way, that we waited out a spot on the patio for whilst hung and drinking beer at the bar, our petit dejeuner (your breakfast/lunch, no not brunch shut up asshole) consisted of beers, white wine, pizza, french onion soup on a gorgeous mini side patio movie setting going to treasure it through winter fairy tale lane forever.

full on forcing seafood on the guy. we couldn’t finish these. i got them to bring me crazy habanero. i am fascinating, provinces over.

it was funny walking out of there on my sea (margarita) legs on wedges on cobble stones. proper form always ladies, we whites are functioning drunks here here. when in rome… i said we’ll sit on the veranda to draw in custies. they LOVED it and took our calamari off the bill. loved them so much we went there twice. le capitole go to it. raymbo approved.

yikes scary.

look nacnud! they’re coming back mid-september. they play live. right now it’s a johnny cash thing. wild!! invasion beatles!!!! l’invasion lol! :). oh i’m going to buy a davy crocket hat DON’T FUCKING COPY ME THIS TIME BITCHES!

gave my card to a woman in the ladies who gravitated toward me and as i walked out i saw her show it to a group of people like a teacher during story time in the lobby here. i am a televangelist.

heard it’s crazy storming in toronto right now. ooh scary. we watched a terrible movie called how will i know when we woke up as it was drizzling mist here and overcast, like a gotham tragedy build-up so i sympathize. when you pay for rain on holiday it’s ugh, time to hit the hooch. summer fini pre-mourning thereof.

ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone.

mom i look like eileen, which would be @raymismother‘smother. yeah smother. totally.

heure correcte de prendre la nuit.

xo rlw.