we watched lord of the rings for the millionth damn time last nite and i still do not know about half of what is going on in the movie and certain character’s affiliations with whom and what’s that guy’s name again and LOOK HERE IS MY IMPRESSION OF LIV TYLER NO REEEALLY LOOK! and fil is MORE LIKE BORED OF THE RINGS! nice one fil.

talking is my favorite so i babbled on a lot and said hey let’s do our own commentary for the entire trilogy! then halfway forgot to make comments about the film and instead slicked my hair back and pretended to be white trash and came onto fil HEY BABY GIVE ME WHAT I’M OWED and i massaged his thighs, it was pretty gross of me. i said things like OOH after this I HAVE TO WATCH ESPN to check my PRO-LINE!

fil was very aroused.

i think fil and samir should go as gandolf and that other wizard-guy for halloween, big long ugly beards and wigs. don’t worry i will give at least 400 halloween costume suggestions between now and october 31 and you will forget about all of them.

i want to be some kind of inanimate object or maybe go the route of pretentious university kid and have a balloon taped to my head and bits of styrofoam on my shirt and exclaim that i am STATIC ELECTRICITY YOU IDIOT!

TPFD

me singing at karaoke

we dragged samir out to karaoke and i BROUGHT DOWN THE HOUSE and when i say house i mean WORLD. there’s this dude there who considers these karaoke nites to be “shows” and he brings a suitcase full of hats and masks and sunglasses and it’s like awww i love that guy i even said over the mic when i was singing PIERRE I WISH YOU WERE MY DAD meanwhile he is doing the running-man and i am singing a heartfelt rendition of come together, awesome, fully.

i spent ten minutes talking to sarah who has big hair who is pretty and listened to everything i had to say about blogging even when i began to ramble on in foreign languages pretty much and was all bla bla ego bla bla ME bla bla blargh EMAIL ME LEAVE ME COMMENTS STREAM OF CONSCIENCE BLOGGER EXTRAVAGANZA I CREATED THE INTERNET!

sarah was like i feel you mang and i was like WORD.

raymi and fil jam COME TOGETHER

i’ma singa this song tonite at karaoke and fil is going to touch his balls and wail on his air bass guitar.

dude.

raymi says:

what did u guys do when we left

sodasamson says:

after you left there was a fucking stabbing on the patio at the shoe

sodasamson says:

and I was a witness

sodasamson says:

and had to talk to the cops all drunk and shit

sodasamson says:

and tell them about the dude that knifed the other guy

raymi says:

WOAH

raymi says:

did we see the dude ?

raymi says:

was there a lot of blood

raymi says:

man i am a good cook

raymi says:

fil is calling u he needs to hear the story first hand cos he is a detective

raymi says:

this means that we are cool people because we hang out in rough bars where people get stabbed

sodasamson says:

I’m kidding

raymi says:

WHAT

sodasamson says:

sorry it took me so long to tell you about my extravagant lie but I went downstairs to do laundry

raymi says:

i already had this conversation cut and pasted into my blog

sodasamson says:

I got some street meat and then went home

sodasamson says:

haha

raymi says:

fag

raymi says:

our friendship is over

sodasamson says:

hahahahaha

sodasamson says:

hahahahahahahahahahahha

sodasamson says:

I was being sarcastic

raymi says:

oh yeah WHAT FRIENDSHIP

sodasamson says:

hahahahahaha

sodasamson says:

I can’t stop laughing

sodasamson says:

well if our friendship is over

sodasamson says:

…

sodasamson says:

I guess I’ll just hang with Phil

raymi says:

fine and you guys can take turns massaging each other’s thighs

sodasamson says:

well now I can introduce him to all those pretty girls that I told him about

raymi says:

pretty hags

sodasamson says:

did you call the courier

raymi says:

no

raymi says:

you were serious?

sodasamson says:

yeah

sodasamson says:

I’m hungry

raymi says:

i could do that and u pay when it gets there

sodasamson says:

can you come over and clean my kitchen and then cook me food

raymi says:

tho u may as well order real food?

raymi says:

can you go fuck yourself

sodasamson says:

can you be nice to me???

sodasamson says:

!!!

raymi says:

SAMIR WE ARE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE REMEMBER

raymi says:

also u tell fil about pretty girls?

sodasamson says:

okay well I’ll remember that we’re not friends tonight… when you’re asking me for shit!

raymi says:

ahahhahaaa

raymi says:

asking you for what

sodasamson says:

baaaahahaha

raymi says:

beer? whatever i can go blow someone and get a 24

another reason to be in love with the Hoff.

my favorite television show is 7th heaven and fil likes it too, it’s predictible and too easy to make fun of.

“hey preacher boy nice wheels you missed the party it was LAST NITE!”

“Dad…thanks.”

Last nite we were walking towards Spadina and there was a group of twenty dudes all loud and rude and i say to fil hey look are those guys me? yes he says. one hoofs a big clear garbage bag full of bottles into the air at us and it lands right at my feet and one goes OH YEAH THAT WAS SOOOOO CLOSE! and i yelled YEAH THAT WAS SO COOOOL GUYS! and we’re walking now in the opposite direction and they realise what i said and how it was not NOT sarcastic and one yells back AW COME ON YOU’RE WEARING A BROWN JACKET!

nice burn dingus. sorry i don’t wear t-shirts for the three block walk to the shitty university bar i frequent in winter.

best most smartest video of me and jen ever.