andrea inspired this post.

i love science, in grade 6 we had to invent something that actually did something useful and all these morons made elaborate unnecessary inventions to pop balloons for example and i just took a thumbtack and slammed it into the back of part of a wooden baseboard, walked into the room with two garbage bags full of red balloons and popped every single last one and pointed at this one girl and said TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER whose invention for popping balloons didn’t work and she always hated on me and competed with me for some reason and i got the best mark in the entire class. oh yeah and we had a whole month to work on it and i just did mine the nite before and the hardest part only was locating a thumbtack from somewhere in my house, my report was very smart-assy too. pfft. one girl was crying and freaking out and hyper-ventilating about the project the week before even.

i got the best marks from presentations, i waved my hands around a lot and cracked jokes and made fun of people and the teacher and people were like YOU ARE A GENIUS and then i would hand my report in and it would be bare-minimum chicken-scratch full of sarcastic condescention and the teacher would be all THUMBS UP and sometimes she would read my paper to the class only to make everyone feel stupid compared to me, i totally dug that shit. we went to ontario place to watch this movie about the rainforest and another one about , i dunno, animals and tribes who cares and i wrote this smarmy report on the rainforest one about no one caring and the destruction and bla bla and she read it and only mine cos everyone else wrote about flowers and how cool the movie was because it was like bird’s eye view type shit like you were flying oh right the other one was about volcanoes, pfft. anyway, i was a deviant asshole cos i knew to score marks was to a) suck up b) write about something no one else is writing about c) make everyone feel guilty

usually the first month of every class i spent being a model and moral student, being polite doing my work, being nice and then being granted special privileges and entering enrichment and spending the last 5 months of the year grossly slacking off to the point where the teacher could do nothing about it because they would not want to be outed on their poor judgement of my “over-achievingness” ways.

putting me in enrichment along with the other smart kids was the biggest mistake ever. you get three smart kids together in the library in grade 7 and in grade 8, unsupervised, do you think they will do any work? our geography project was so terrible, the bristol board drawing of whatever country it was we had was only half colored in, like i started coloring in russia and just like, stopped, so there were long marker strokes of pink across it and the rest was all white. for other countries the color we initially used just ran out, the mark we received was vastly lower than our peers not even in enrichment, ha!

the majority of our time was spent discussing funny movies and comedians and then one guy hacking into the school’s administration files on the computer and having his computer privileges revoked so i ended up having to type out the entire project and said FUCK THIS I AM WORKING ALONE.

we use to send hate mail to random companies using his dad’s computer and one fishing company wrote back to his dad saying SOMEONE WROTE TO ME SAYING I HAVE A SMALL DICK AND I SHOULD STOP FUCKING MY SISTER… his dad was not impressed.

obviously i am doing everything in my power to not do laundry.

ew look how skinny i was

maybe i should threaten SUICIDE that’s the ultimate i love you phil, i think.

raymi | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:26 pm | #


it’s FOR WORK so i can PAY THE RENT.

if it was optional I WOULDN’T GO.

px | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:29 pm | #

sure sure “have to go”…

kalipornia | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:31 pm | #


raymi | Homepage | 01.27.06 – 4:35 pm | #

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it sounds like children are killing each other outside in the park, they are tiny children and when children that tiny are playing they yell a lot and talk loud all at the same time, much like me when i am wasted hanging out with my friends. gay, i just said hanging out.

i have to do laundry and i don’t want to because i am allergic to responsibility.

the ending of the eggers book was not as good as i thought it would be. i get what he was getting at though, he could’ve done better i think. the ending of my book is pretty half-assed so who am i to talk, no one.

i’m starting to lose my mind a little bit over these loud kids, don’t they have homes? and their parents milling about watching them, encouraging them to be loud, THE NERVE.

my children are going to speak in sign language only and live in the cellar and eat mice.

i feel emo again today i think i might be pre-menses maybe, or i am listening to sigur ros-like music or cos i have cut out pretty much all carbs beer included or i am just a mess. i am almost finished reading the dave eggers book it’s the only thing inspiring me right now. i haven’t made a felt creation in a long time.

when people go “raymi is SO honest” i think so what, who isn’t, big deal? what’s to hide?

apparently i wear my sickness on my sleeve, i guess so maybe, why not exploit it for profit, i may as well get some money out of all that pain and if my story helps at least one other person, good.

fil gets to go on a ski trip next week with work and i am not invited, it reminds me of when i was in grade one and this little girl found out our class was going to the zoo, her brother included, and she was bawling and screaming cos she wasn’t allowed to come, i haven’t bawled and screamed yet but maybe i should or i will stage a silent non-violent protest and starve myself in the hallway and fil will have to drag me back into the apartment and as he’s pulling my legs i will try and hold onto the walls and doorways and eventually he’ll just be pulling me by my pants and i will be wearing underwear only and the neighbors will come out and see me on the ground holding onto the corner of the wall in my underwear and i will end my silent-protest by screaming HE GETS TO GO ON A SKI-TRIP! then the door will slam behind me after fil yanks me violently into the apartment.

or i will just threaten to have a big crazy funnest party ever the nite he is gone!

when cid cuddles up in my arms i am thinking, well telepathically communicating to him CID I FORGIVE YOU FOR MAULING MY FACE ALL THOSE TIMES WITH INTENT OF TAKING MY EYES OUT AND FOR ATTACKING ME AT LEAST 4 TIMES A DAY.

i had the best dream, there were all these flowers and colors and i think some degree of celebrity involved and a dog was my friend too and when i told him what to do, he listened!

last nite we didn’t drink.

i invented this great side-dish, organic split-pea soup with kale and garlic and parmesan i am a chef. cid likes to help by yelling at me his meows. when he is meowing fil says HI MEOW and i am like YOU CALL THAT A MEOW!? cid helps in the kitchen because he thinks he is going to be fed and i’m all pfft stupid i am opening a can of pea soup not your garbage cat food.

i am prolific.

we watched the constant gardener last nite, amazing amazing amazing film.

adan called me at 5 in the morning to ask me stupid questions and i was like uh why are you calling me to ask about this right now and he says to get it over with, pfft more like coke party over there then his girlfriend calls and says raymi can i talk to you for a minute i said WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT I’M SLEEPING and she goes oh, i thought you were fighting? fuck. then i couldn’t get back to sleep. thanks guys.

Hi raymi, me again!

Thats funny that you get tons of emails when you do the emo posts, i guess
those are the ones that people really relate to. I could really relate to
the shitting to the life aquatic post from the other day. That would be

Today it was cloudy when I went to work, but rainy when I left so I took
somebody from work’s umbrella. (they left it behind) I hope they don’t go
back to look for it. I just had to get that off my conscience. I feel better

I bought your book for christmas and then I gave it to a friend. It was
really good. A sort of ‘the Catcher in the Rye’ for our times. I bet 50
billion ppl have already made that comparison haven’t they? I would tell you
my favourite parts but i would want to have the book in front of me so I
could quote it properly. Or not… i really liked the part where you say
that if you feel shitty in xyz suburb and you think going to xyz city is
going to make it better, you’re wrong cause you’ll just feel the same.
Pretty much true.

Say hi to your cat for me.


ps. Is your cat really big or is that a normal cat size? I’ve never had a
cat. Your cat looks like a cross between a regular cat and a lynx or
something. Its huge. Or maybe that’s just your expert trick photography…