Body like the summer

I muchly enjoyed my tan this day plus life in general and thought lets immortalize this moment. Wouldn’t you know it someone else felt the same.

My hair looks awesome too so that is good.

Sunday night sorbet. Melty and spit-like. Gelato place was closed. Closed ghost town city so ventured back to eat this jive. I think that I am finally starting to go stir crazy from Burlingtron.

When I moved out here two autumns ago, I was about to say last autumn but I forgot I was away in Holland for 3 months and was travelling pretty much for all of 2013 so it erased that year from memory, but anyway this was a dress I bought and wore out only once because I was beginning to gain weight. Break up, moved to Burlington depression weight. Then I wore it at work as a shirt about a month ago and then once before that in the winter (when it was still pretty tight on my sausage fat upper arms) but now I am delighted to report the story of this size small (from UO) dress that I can wear all Risky Business styles again and still acts as a shift with pockets of space and I think my face looks pretty psyched too. My date had also just arrived at the moment of this mirror selfie.

This post is going to be girly and Raymicentric so be forewarned before reading on.

Heard from an old(er) friend yesterday who said I was still a baby so that was nice. It’s true though I guess. The only difference between me and hot looking youths is years of accrued experience, knowledge, expertise and maturity (ha) in the form of if not now when? Why have I been blogging for all of these years, what drives and compels me to do so? Has anyone ever stopped to ask me that, probably in a manner of ways but why do I breathe more unicorn power dust into RTM when she seems to be dying and then is brought back to life again. Why did I do that? Why does anyone blog, what does it all meeeeeeeean man? More marketing sponsorships, to be cutting edge, to be THE NEXT? Well yeah I think quietly I have always set goals, blown them, and gotten back on the horse again to be like you know what world there are many small achievements on the way and do not forget about me.

Do you know how many people call me crazy like, all the time and in a mean way too? Okay maybe like one person, who in turn is also crazy. But when people repeat offense, you take note and it becomes more about them then it does you.

But do I think I am insane? Yeah but not really you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck do I care what you think, or they say? I know that normies can and never will be able to take me but they like to watch me and there is something to that – it’s my casual goal to do something with that and that’s about it, consider yourself informed.

A superfollower told me to bust out this bathingsuit and I was like yeah great idea. Part of my goal (secrets to success, I hope) is to get psychotically in shape like lady gaga in the telephone video because I am not stupid to think that how I look isn’t part of this. My hair isn’t destroyed platinum blond anymore which was when I last had my figure. I’m not jolly just slightly overweight smiling like it doesn’t bother me plump anymore. I feel like the world is caving in on me and it’s my last chance to really give’r you know? If not now when. The second driving mantra of my “plan” essentially is get on board or out of my way. Too many times in my life I have been silenced and quashed into a fraction of what I truly am and thrive to be because yes, I come with a lot of noise. But I know that it’s empowering and inspiring and just as it gets good it always usually seems to get fucked up for some reason or other and what I am wondering is why am I so afraid all the time and why don’t I just keep going otherwise, why all this blog? Basically, fuck yeah blogging is what I am saying.

I’m also very inspired by my blogging sister peers who have risen like Phoenixes to the top over the years too. I see you. :) Oh god this is turning Spice Girls.

This is my tomb raider running outfit. If you ever had a shadow of a doubt about my mental atrocities you would just have to see me run. I am not going to humble brag here I am just going to say that I run like a gazelle if a gazelle were a ballerina who also dabbled in salsa merengue hip hop and freestyle. Cars follow along slowly and then circle back for more. Running mid-rain is awesome because I can do it alone. I took dance for 10 years so it’s in me to move and I was asked why I dance so well recently and how, because it is a fine skill. I don’t even care how much of a dick I sound like right now, it’s a dance off. I watched Magic Mike last night and seeing that guy move I was like, I can move like that but the world is so conservative HOW can I move like that and make money from it with all of my clothes on? This is the numero uno actual goal I have from running and dance-running fitness. I am going to film a dance video in a studio and prove it to you and then you can be the judge and then I can be a youtube celebrity with all the comments set to off ha ha.

I am addicted to running because it shuts everything out. I get results. I am hyper-active and it’s something to do. Everyone has their thing. Before my accident in Aruba I was running often and now it’s like that injury never occurred I can run like I used to but now I am more cautious. I’ll have to join a gym in the winter.

I was worried about the zipper on these pants this day. They are from Benetton in Aruba from our friend who I snake charmed the crap out of. He owns the benetton and half the island and I said send me a wardrobe much to the dismay of all the ladies I was with well guess what, I have a nice red winter coat and sexy slacks plus other things now lol. I suppose I’ll have to add a non-sexual hustling chapter to my book.

So much symbology!! Lol.

Subject change!

Just me and Paris Hilton palling around. I bet I am a better dj. Notice her mp3 thing is on those oldschool boards??? this pic is viral. This was an epic week spent in Quebec City and MTL the day jack Layton died and my blog hits imploded because my post on meeting Rob Ford went up. I own the rainbow crop top from Wildfox Couture though I suspect actually gave it to my niece. Sad face.

I look like someone I just can’t figure out who. Someone with long hair. blah who cares haha.

A pic from last month some time. I am not exactly Kim Kardashian selfie-bad but my ass is maybe better. Quotable.

Just checking in on my guys.

:( still won’t heal. wtf. Anyway it was worth it cos I realize that I am awesome at volleyball and not shitty like I remember from school. Even when I played once on the beach in Mexico and was mortified beyond belief for myself. I can serve after all which was my main fear, all the other vball things I can do.

Lots of storms lately, right? We were fine btw thanks for asking team planet Burlingtron. I got soaked in the rain last night all yolo and cray cray happy about it then apparently cp24 had it on blast that the levees were broke in btown but we’re fine, am fine. Saw a chick at work’s basement was flooded though :(.

Another pic from earlier last week. Do you want to hear my thing about sleeveless shirts? They make me uncomfortable and but, I can wear them now cos my arms aren’t fat but I still feel like some motorcycle groupie or that I am trying to be something when really all I am being is an awesome object of guy can rock a sleeveless, mahmean bro? Right now I’m wearing my plaid sleeveless too and it’s looking pretty good maybe we’ll have to table this discussion til another time.

Getting restless now. Shutting up.

There better be more heatwaves before summer is through.

Had a fun boozeless dinner. I know right! Anyway. Was this lamb I will never know, was probably lamb. The food of Burlingtron is beginning to unimpress me I have eaten everywhere and boycotted some. What a whiner right!

Sometimes you just have to be ghetto fabulous what can I say?

Have a killer week mes amis!

Can’t believe it is Tuesday.

Okay I semi-promise to give selfies a break.

Take a long last look this baby is sold.

Goodbye for real. xo ps. Hi MTV Canada viewers.


PS. Don’t forget a lotta YOLO happens on my tumblr too.

Welcome to the Sindustry

Pretty sick here. I look emo and dead. You’d like that wouldn’t you.

Open the window and let some of the amazing out oh my god right? Right. What? Hmm? That’s from the High School movie we saw yesterday, it was the best time being surrounded by media people with notepads and we were clearly the row of stupid idiot target marketed stoners in the middle of the theatre. There’s a frog that ribbits what? and Adrian Brody goes what? back at it and it ribbits what? again and it goes on and on, thumbs up! Some very serious comedic scenes and true to form drug high trip outs and what not, lots of sketch comedy and just plain sketch. Great at ten in the morning! Yesterday was a long day.

We made a day of shopping out of it.

I have some serious dubloons to burn on my Holt Renfrew (bday) gift card so we started there. I tried on a lot of wildfox clothing while visiting Ang in MTL and I never forgot about this one sweater I put on and didn’t take/buy/beg/steal and so now I got one kind of similar.

Now watch me pants myself.

Moving on.

Everyone smiled at me in this thing on my way to the Drake it is quite a beatific shirt. The material is ultra soft and all night long Rebecca was like oh it’s your $128 dollar t shirt! Blaha.

New shit makes you feel good. Summer is on now brother. I also danced with two hobos passing me on Queen like I was a lucky charm/leprechaun/pot of gold. One guy said to me as we passed, girl, too intimidated to talk to you it’s not even funny. He wasn’t even a hobo this time. Raymbo Bright nailed it.

After Holt (I didn’t have the patience to blow the rest of the card, still super sick) and after Zara (horrid customer service) we skipped down to 3F (dreamboats) to pick out an outfit each, I love those guys so much! So much coloured denim and new stock and styles in store the girls were like O_O YES.

Skinny bitches + open bar = things got fun last night. There was a pampering party at the Drake. Bech has the family camera so I’ll blog it tomorrow. Or whenever. I am on Raymi time.

My stomach is in every single picture. I was going to wear the flowered bloomer shorts Lois got me but it looked even sluttier somehow, too young, too hot. This one was fricking bang on enough. I need new summer wedges mom can I have yours?

Had half a grilled cheese sandwich, not much appetite, they were out of the tomato soup which is what I need right now and there was a hair in my salad that I just picked out and ate anyway. If it’s in a dive who cares. If it’s high end COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN. I could tell the bar maiden liked me so I didn’t want to make an enemy and I shutted upsky see how nice I am MTV.

Ha I got Welcome to Toronto on the ticker.

Gorge flowers everywhere can transform any setting.

How do you feel about Times Square Toronto? I feel it and only because there’s one of it and not blocks and blocks of it like in NYC. New York Lite. Plus we let street urchins take part in flash mobs and outdoor orchestra happenings conducted by randoms (tourists) sponsored by TD Bank or whatever.

Teeny times. I am taking this orange red thing prett-ay seriously right. I can’t wait to dye it again. Today I look like Aslan on a deadline one part risky business and prep boy rapist.

The blue looked amazing too but too much information down in the girl parts area. These are almost nude, I forget the name but will deke people out in the streets that I am nakes. Like that one picture that went viral of the girl bending over in these same skin colour pants except blobs and jiggles so I better watch it. I am sick skinny right now and all toned from Longboarding and coughing my whole body and abdominals for three days solid.

THE GIRLS™ had bibimbap for lunch while I had iced coffee and a throat lozenge with cough syrup in it (YUM) I had munchies in the theatre from our complimentary bags which also contained doobie rollies too THANK YOU LIFE. Honestly Last week I bought rollies on three separate occasions for three separate households like it was my fucking job or something, all the same brand plus the one in the movie bag. I had a tiny crush on the Jewish bad kid starring in the movie that I kept to myself I will kill you if you tell anyone. Rebecca drew a pentagram on her egg that I ignored until now because I am a bad friend. Just kidding too much was going on bro I talked so much (my business requires lots of talking but being with girls all day is a lot of talking) plus am so sick I sound like Kathleen Turner however how I sing right now as a result is adorabz. Everyone turned and smiled at me on my terminator 2 speed march home from the financial district along king home. I just sing softly and whisper sing to myself on the parts I am shitty at or unsure of lyrics then boldly belt it and I think that I have a skill here in that I can sound like every single singer pretty much to a tee, well the ones I listen to and train my ear to and party to dance to blog to. If you know me you’ll know I live on a record player and like to keep it simple, my tunes. I’m exploratory but I repeat the classics. Team Yay Cray have a top twenty dance hits list. If we are lucky! NEXT.

I am Sarah Jessica Parkering myself with this number. I shared my Zara balance with Bech cos for her birthday all I did was give her a package of lousy paintbrushes. She held my hand last night I was like, are you ready to take the next step in this relationship? Day: 150? of friendship sex: none. Baha I called her a lesbo on text right now and she said LESNO. Straighter than an arrow that one but she’s got a busted crooked wrist that can give handjobs around corners. Is this post sounding like Girls? Still haven’t watched it yet. Did you guys follow the hipster racism brew-ha-ha on the interwebz between Jezebel and SBTVC regarding it? Guess what side I’m on.

True story: saw a girl wearing a floral jumper onesie on Bech’s street I say can I borrrow yours for tomorrow? Then Bech wears her. The movie was at varsity. My old stomping grounds. Jules is leaving us for SF in Sept. Another reason to head there. It’s crappening dudes. I’m planning a trip for June. You will be mindblown.

I look like an older Jewish woman here in this light. Meh. I’m sick. REMEMBER THAT.

I ate a brownie and a bag of chips in the dark halfway through the movie and didn’t know what I was putting in my mouth ahaha. I had the loudest laugh in the theatre too which would make me laugh more.

Shower time break. Sick person’s Law.