karaoke pierre is on my facebook now creating masterpieces such as this.
they are testing the fire alarm right now and it is destroying my already destroyed from last nite brain. here is some holiday party drink tickets advice, seems like an awesome idea to use all of them, but it isn’t, but you are going to do it anyway, try not to?
i danced on (with?) a stripper pole at the NOW magazine party and i fell and scraped my shin and knee and made it look like i meant to do it and knelt down to talk to wendi, i hope whatever photo guy they hired for the nite annihiliates every single picture he took of me. someone stole my beer when i was up there, so i stole someone else’s merry christmas.
fil ruined oysters for me too, i could’ve gone my entire life happily unawares of those buggers being alive when you eat them. THANKS FIL!
we just had a shower together and fought the entire time because he was criticising my techniques like fuck off then ok pal! i was narrating everything i was doing as i was doing it “…and then while the conditioner is on my hair i take my fingers and swipe off all my mascara… and then i put soap on my hand and put my hand in my ass crack… and then i don’t wash my feet anymore, i’m over it…” you should try having a hangover shower party it’s like, not at all fun.
before that a fire alarm dude came in and i was all delerious and the room was moving and he noticed we don’t have a battery in our smoke detector i said yeah we have it somewhere and he said i had to show it to him and i knew we threw it out because it became warped from hanging out in the bathroom (steam) too long so i walked around pretending to find this battery we don’t have and i said oh i guess we must’ve lost it he said he would have to write us up i go what does that mean a ticket? like the police (didn’t say that but implied it by saying ticket) and he laughed at me and i closed the door feeling like the biggest tool ever like the time i asked the paramedics if they ever shot anyone before and they’re like uh we save lives, oh right, then why do you wear SWAT team suits?
true story.
oh yeah remind me to go on a rant about jian ghomeshi later, dude like, hates me, sorry zero sense of humour!
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this is from my hag fag henry
Happy Holidays
You loverly lady! Here‘s a deal for you I made me-self.
everyone had these elaborate books that they brought from canada or bought in england, we were told we would need two books, which actually turned into three, one tiny guy for walking around with, a bigger more proper journal and then a scrapbook for putting all your receipts and various findings in. i didn’t want to spend more money so i just used my sketchbook and thus, sloppiness ensues.
there were a handful of drawings in the beginning i couldn’t stand to tear out so i made it look like i painted them in england hahha.
uug drawing feet sucks.
what a liar i didn’t even bother to match the ink colour.
my mom was a bit clingy oh mom.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMO!
right after i had my drastic hair change i found this flyer.
now-defunct thanks 9/11!
they took my big white fluffy towel i brought from home and i never got it back fuck!
by dude who cut my hair. i stood him up. not intentionally i just forgot.
in hyde park we each had to make up an activity for everyone to do, this funny girl sara made a bunch of these dares or whatever you call them, she’s a great drawer (is that a word?) i’m going to try and find her on facebook. i remember our teacher did a dare he had to roll down a hill and scream like he was on fire, hilarious guy.
knightsbridge was our tube stop, that’s where harrod’s is. swank.
oh god another message from shogo leave me alone i feel bad enough already!
i’ll post the second half later on, there’s a german assignment i thiefed off the wall by mick jagger’s son, james! he went to st. edward’s and also confetti from the wedding on our campus that george harrison was at.
i think i am lactose-intolerant, on our way into the suburbs i felt mega-ass queasy and delicate, fil said ok that’s enough lets go to your doctor i said something’s not right but it isn’t necessarily flu or something, i do think it’s food-related. anyway i am finally fucking better but i am going to avoid all dairy just to be safe what the hell am i going to eat now milk/cheese is a part of every favourite thing i love to put in my mouth i will kill myself if i have to turn vegan.
fun post to come and then i have to enter the world of felt.
ok i wanted to put my theory in action so i put some ice cream in my espresso and now there is a thunderstorm in my stomach and i think there might be a violent explosion in my pants-urrea shortly.
he refused to see that the yellow bit of the design IS ACTUALLY YELLOW, soft buttermilk yellow, but still yellow, not white. this argument entertained us for a good five minutes.
then i made him laugh so hard he cried i’ll tell you why some other time, basically i was bragging about how perceptive i am, i’m like new jack city when it comes to street cents and fil has finally lost the ability to humour me when i go on these tangents. FINE!
i sold the deer painting, sorry nerd ladies fighting over it.
not as good as the time we had them with jamie and deb.
sirloin bites, wrapped in bacon, delicious. i was way wary of them though 1. because when i lived in maine my ex-bf got violently ill from undercooked scallops wrapped in bacon and 2. i just had mildish food poisoning way to go menu choice!
my fashion style is kindergarden.
lunchtime leftovers, is this red glare killing your eyes as much as it is killing mine?
that’s a bit better but kind of disgusting looking. that’s spicy peanut chicken.
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jackthealmighty: hi
me: hi
jackthealmighty: u use adsense in ur blogs right?
me: no
jackthealmighty: how do u make money through ur blog? can u tell me
me: no make yourself an institution on the internet then people email to advertise with you and want to buy your art and wares and book
jackthealmighty: oh ok thanks a lot
me: i cant use adsense cos of nudity
jackthealmighty: ok r u free now?
me: why im always on this thing and doing stuff
jackthealmighty: ok
me: is english your second language
jackthealmighty: ya why?
me: oh cos you type really slow
jackthealmighty: lol
me: what nationality are you
jackthealmighty: INDIAN
me: do you read my blog all the time
jackthealmighty: to be true i see ur blog once a week sorry
me: oh thats ok i was just wondering cos i see you on here and you say hi then you sign off how old are you
jackthealmighty: 20
me: what do you do
jackthealmighty: i am doing my final year degree instead i am doing a multimedia course
me: where do you live
jackthealmighty: where means my state ?
me: in the world, city country whatever
jackthealmighty: lol ok india tamilnadu,
me: why do you like my blog oh neat
jackthealmighty: city+chennai
me: why is your name jackthealmighty what does that mean
jackthealmighty: u share ur personnel things nothing my real name is lingesh jack is derived from a game character
me: what game
jackthealmighty: far cry do u play games?
me: sometimes what does your character do are you talking about live action roleplay?
jackthealmighty: action and adventure r u married?
me: basically yes
jackthealmighty: how much u earn in a month through internet?
me: why are you so obsessed with that
jackthealmighty: nothin just asked about it
me: it fluctuates and is personal
jackthealmighty: ok i wont ask again
me: how much do you make a month?
jackthealmighty: this is my first time using adsense just got 60$
me: for how much work
jackthealmighty: do u wanna see my blog lol just posted a some thing thats all
me: yeah give me the link im going to post this convo we had
jackthealmighty: lol ok my site is not that good is that ok gamersfoundation if u can click two ads only if u can
me: thats pretty good ok ill click all the ads
jackthealmighty: thanx
me: there i clicked everyting
jackthealmighty: thanks a lot wats ur favorite drink?
me: alcohol
jackthealmighty: like brandy,rum ,vodka etc ?
me: its too early to talk about booze you drink?
jackthealmighty: sometimes wats the time now in ur country?
me: 12.38pm what time is it there
jackthealmighty: 11:10 pm
me: wow i am talking to the future
jackthealmighty: wat? lol thats true
me: yes i drank bad milk and i keep going to the bathroom brb
jackthealmighty: lol ok
*fil doesn’t believe that bad milk goes through you that fast, it exp. nov. 24 (didn’t smell bad) so i said i dare you to drink some milk right now if you don’t believe me, and he did. now i am worried we will be fighting over the toilet. i just went 4 times in an hour and if you saw what it looked like and felt what my stomach felt you would not have drunk that shit.
ps. happy birthday blog! here is the very first post on ye olde blogspot i ever plunked in. umburrussing! and while yer at it here are all the other stupid things i wrote during that month.
fil just told me he has to buy lesbian deodorant. 2 points if you know what that means and who invented it.
holy moly look now boots are named after me way to go deisel coolness stealers! i like them in this colour better.
did you know that you could faint from the pain of ripping out a teeny hanger off your toenail in the bathtub and see stars? fil was playing wii and i almost called to him to warn him that i was in serious pain from this little nail growing all wonky from the last two-thousandth time i tore my toenail apart (habit), i wanted him to know what was about to go down in case i did pass out and drowned in a half foot of water (yes that painful) but i didn’t bother because i sat there looking down at it and in-between praying (yes) and chanting some non-sensical mantra i got the idea to just squeeze the hell out of my toe to stop blood-flow and hopefully pain-receptors too i dunno i’m not a surgeon. anyway it worked and i ripped it out. i only wish the brilliant idea to squeeze my toe occurred to me sooner when i was 1/4 millimeter by 1/4 millimeter eeking the beginning stages of that fucking nail out of there, wincing and crying pathetically the whole way.
why christie is single. a brief tour of suicide girls is interrupted by a dungeons & dragons manifesto oh man.
i was stalking your blog as usual, and came across a picture that screamed toilet to me for some reason. anyway here’s the end result.
this dude has been frostbiting it in the fridge for over a year now, fil was so hung sunday i decided it was time to part ways.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! the fact that it is barfing itself out of itself is not a good omen.
when i grocery shopped as fatraymi i used to throw in a bunch of cheap “meals” because we are both garbage disposals and finish EVERYTHING that enters this condo within 24 hours, not kidding. anyway, we finally put our foot down with doing that. it’s quality, not quantity.
99 cents worth of pure ecstasy.
everyone keeps telling me i am going to lose my ass if i keep losing weight and to that i say sorry, impossible.
i had a pet cat named sheeba who looked exactly like this guy. sigh. siamese cats are awesome because they are insanely neurotic.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
looking at the time the first picture was taken and then the last picture of the empty plate, there was a four minute difference. savages.
5.30 in the morningish, maybe 6 who knows.
right before i ex-communicated cid to the hallway towel closet, dude is the size of a football field and kept attacking my arm because it was in his way.
dooooooood.
i accidentally shook way too much salt all over it and had to get another plate (a new plate not a new piece of fish, i’m not an asshole) i am trying to think up a funny salt joke comparsion but i can’t. oh i know it was like that scene in pure luck when martin short chooses the ONE salt shaker danny glover purposely fucks with to test how bad martin’s luck actually is. i love that movie i think it is in my top 20 of favourite comedys of all time. i was angry because i was already regretting eating this pile of grease and then to top it off i poured cardiac arrest all over it.
seriously way too much. when we ordered fish n chips for dinner as a kid we would get ONE order of chips to share between the four of us, one to yourself is just gluttony.
ps. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!!!!! it’s like the fountain but ten million times more depressing because it is real. video of it here. fil doesn’t think it’s real because the guy’s ponytail is too nice, yeah thanks expert.
