Guess what? the answering machine message on my phone sez, “Hi, you’ve reached bla bla bla – THERE’S A PARTY GOING ON!!!” and House of the Rising Sun is playing in the background – well, coolhandluke called me and BELIEVED a REAL PARTY was going on so he came straight over and the only people who were there was me and my roommates being geeks in front of our computers. Coolhandluke was dissapointed. I felt bad so I tried to double him on my bike up the street but he is not meant for bicycles so we fell over and I told him to GET OFF my bike and then i rode away to Tequila Lounge to see Gogol Bordello. We also got a tasty new hunk up at sexwithsmartpeople
Man I am so fucking bored. The only excitment of my day is wearing new pajamas. Hooo-ahh! I received barely five pieces of email. All-time fucking low. However, I’m having a rather fabulous time cleaning up my back deck and hosing down the chairs and making sure Trent the cat doesn’t escape. A few days ago a gang of asshole raccoons showed up and destroyed everything. This temp-roomie decided it was a good idea to leave garbage bags of rotten food on the back deck. um no. Bonus – we have a wheelchair and it’s in the kitchen. Just when I thought I couldnt get any lazier. Man, booze in your coffee at two in the afternoon – best idea ever. Well, it comes in second after swimming.
today i’m going to be a big gay and print up the “autobiography” i’m writing and go sit in a hipster hangout and pretend to be all cool and edit it for awhile. if you see me please say something nice. thanks.
this giraffe had its head smashed in but luckily, this dude exists.
this dude decided to dump a litre of coke on the fresh white sidewalk in front of my apt. so i was all dude, what the hell and he is like, yeh whatever and then we’re all bla bla thanks a lot and he’s all talking to us in porchugeuse or something and muttering so we mouth off a bit more and he goes you’re stupid and i’m like are you talking? and he goes shut up and drove away.
in case you were wondering, yes, it’s true, i have destroyed my 175 dollar dye/cut job by adding more blond chunks to my ‘do. i am a fucking idiot. i look like a kurt cobain die-hard, which is cool ‘n all, but, seven years late.
I have insomnia, or rather, it has me and I’ve had a blasted headache for what seems to be seven hours now. It is beyond headache-ness, it’s more like a subtle tippa-tippa-tippa-tippa sensation on the top of my skull every other second and i am too indifferent to say or do anything about it. Sometimes, acknowledging the problem makes it worse. Or something. riding my bike over bumps and streetcar tracks in the road made my brain feel like it was wobbling around in my head. no lie.
i think i might read something now or go get another glass of grapejuice and perhaps invite all the neighbourhood cats into my bedroom to see if they want to play “suffocate in raymi’s suitcase” for fun.
so you guys will hang out here if i post more than once a week, right? I hope so. Someone told me this. So, i’m going to be diligent and stuff and say things more often – try to be less retarded and have better grammar. sure.
have you ever wanted to punch the shit out of someone? i did the other nite. i was caught in this disgusting downpour on my way to work so i looked all gross and wet and angry as hell when i got there. these two bitches were on their way out the building to go to some hussy club and they both laughed at me and called me a drowned rat – whatever, they had horse hair weaves and camel toes. i was so furious i couldn’t even react. the more i thought about it that nite the angrier i got and now i can’t stop fantasizing about strangling one of those bitches.
I don’t think i ever mentioned that my bike was stolen saturday nite. I mentioned it in HOT CITY but you guys are too fucking snobby to go there so you obviously aren’t aware of the bike theft. I probably deserved it since I steal like every other second. Anyhow, it was horrible timing since it happened the same nite of my 175 dollar haircut + 100 dollar new outfit. The next day I dropped 160 more dollars on a new beast of a ‘cycle, this fancy-ass late 60’s Road King with streamers and a bell. It’s a brown version of pee wee’s bike in his first movie. I love it but the brakes aren’t so good. I think if i’m ever to be in a fatal bike accident that this’ll be the piece of shit to cause it. So, moral of the story is, don’t spend a million dollars every single day like me and don’t leave your fancy bike locked to a pole on a street corner for 24 hours. I swear to God, Hercules stole it – the lock was totally fucked to shit. Impressive.
