my blog exploded yesterday

I love this cluster the most. I talked to the pez owner outside, I go, you’re the collector aren’t you like I was Michael Douglas and he goes yeah, I am. Calf tattoos give away everything. Especially calf tattoos of pop art kitsch toys and superheroes. I asked if there was one elusive Pez he was after and do people give him all this pez now, cos it’s “a thing”. He sighed and went, yeaaaaaaah. Anyway the one he is after is a mr. potato head with moveable pieces and it’s hard to find one nowadays with all the parts intact so lets find it for him Little Raymis. A mission should you choose to accept it. I bet we’d get breakfast for life. Or brunch cos I don’t do mornings. Fuh-uck no.

If I call you Gargamel it is because you are being an a-hole. Family burn. Shut up Gargamel!

Look what I get to eat with when I am looking like a Gargamel.

He eats buckwheat pancakes fake bacon and chocolate chips. Sadie’s is a granola haunt, no meat or booze. Fine. Lol. I’m sitting there all trainspotting greasy hair in a booth, we usually vespa over and by usually I mean one time before this but who can tell time anymore who cares SUMMER OF RAYMI.

I just got my period too! I sang I’m not pregnant to the tune of I want candy. Try it sometime, super fun!

Peanut butter smoothie and some spirulina added (I think? I wasn’t listening) and it was insanely good. Our waitress was Finnish, she was unique looking, beautiful, wearing a kerchief and short hair I had several me as waitress in diner fantasies thanks to it. Her voice was very cute. I pictured her being our maid as well and/or housemate and making us pancakes at home lolol I am just making this shit up right now guys kidding maybe kind of sort of.

Anyway speaking of maybe kind of sort of brunch can be a dangerous thing, people per chance are hungover during it and they’ve done their daily (bathroom) business maybe or are about to and you look around at some of the people like oh he’s about to blow for sure.

This omelette was the tits.

Then we went to Kensington market while Steve‘s stomach spasmed in cramps and I was like I don’t want to do this if it’s not fun I didn’t even feel like going to the market but it felt like you had to otherwise hipster yuppie day off couple guilt would sink in and then you start snapping at each other. Buying lots of junk from every store you hit helps stifle that. I tried on all this stuff at the Japanese import store and nothing looked good and that’s when I started wigging out but Steve was well ahead of me at that point anyway and then I was like this activity is coming to an end. EVERYONE was annoying, I think it was cos of the holiday hangover, post long weekend blues. Welp no one Raymes on MY parade and gets away with it.

By nightfall we were cool as cukes. Makes you wanna _______.

Ps. thank you Unite! This is my second haul of this product. Shannon at Redd hooked me up back in da day (3 years ago) when she started sponsoring my head. She did my Raymi Winehouse updo for my 10 Year Blogiversary party.

Anywhoo. Unite you’re my pro stars I look forward to rippin’ it up with you in San Diego. SD was one of my summer highlights last year spending 4 nights Solo at the Hard Rock Hotel. I’ll show Steve those posts when he gets off work. I’m prob 140lbs or so in that video.

Love my kitty ear ring.

Exactly.

Team Yay Cray tales comin’ right up. Have a nice lunch.

ps. my hits are insaneballs high at the moment, there are 4 possible/combo reasons for this. Hope my blawg doesn’t tank again today but if that’s so or ever happens go to my tumblr instead of the crazy house.

One more thing, please donate a crystal head skull if you want to be part of something cool. Dan’s people contacted me yesterday. Fingers crossed for big tings.

Put it out there and don’t be surprised if it comes back to you my friends.

Made a list last night of all the concepts we have in the pan for the other 20 skulls! So stoked.

The first pink one! Tried to do Hello Kitty pink. We’ve also used olive oil to try to make a lava lamp. It kind of worked. They’re going to be made to be played with and purchased. I’m going to fill one with luxury chocolate. Yes for eating. We have a cork one that we’ve been adding other random junk to. I won’t tell you what the others are though because I am not stupid. Okay fine one will be buttons and other gems from my mother’s vast antique collection. Dad do you want to make one too? We are doing one for Dan Aykroyd especially also.

BRB is the place to be.

Shopping haul

These Steve already had. I thought they should be included too.

I’ll pay you back with more blog love tomorrow. The internet asploded yesterday from my blog going viral. I tanked a server. I rule therefore I am. I think? See you on the couch Thrillhouse.

Dushi Queen Aruba Raymi

I bought more postcards here, stamps, two mini bottles of Brut to immediately drink on the beach cos Tray was drivin’ me cray. L I V I N’! Ready for some more Aruba Raymi hi-jinx? Gotta make it quick cos I got a hot date afterward. Someone took the day off.

Pizza from Casa Tua. Hi Victor!

It’s true, I do I do I do. I love Aruba!

I love Caribbean food too. Aruba has amazing food.

Here comes your man.

Surf and Turf godmama and I shared. YUM.

My mother takes photos of the exact same things I would had I been taking photos. I invented her. It’s such a vacay relief to not be photo snap happy ADD so I can enjoy myself while watching her take 5000 pictures instead. AND I don’t even have to say anything, plus she finds things I don’t notice too and then she does her editing finishing touches too whereas I post raw cos I am conceited like that.

This is Eagle Beach. It is tres paradise over here, less populated. We wanted to stay at this resort (we did? I’m just the kid who gets no say ever) but I liked where we stayed because there was more action, we would have fought more if we stayed somewhere serene and then all these rich normal folk would be like o_0 all week long. No thanks.

I miss these trees. People in Cali who (pretend to) take palm trees for granted are disgusting. I’ve seen it, cool story loser. I would never diss a Maple Tree like that, or an Evergreen. #Treehugger.

Baby beach. Referred to as such cos you can take little babies here, very shallow water. People snorkle.

What’s that kung fu movie they film in Canada again?

I found a turtle egg, which is the reason why we went to this beach to see turtles. We didn’t, they were busy.

The Wine Ladies had sponsored suits, holla! Proud of those girls. They got us comped VIP dinner, so there’s more work I didn’t have to do. Just show up pretty eat my face off and get wasted. Check, check, check. MATE. I emailed the Hotel btw and said I got them in the NEW YORK TIMES and something tells me this post just might too ;).

Deep fried crab from Pago Pago. I’m glad we didn’t do all-inclusive because we’d be stuck on hotel food, despite this resto being in the hotel we ate elsewhere often.

I miss this building most of all, lots, the hotel beside ours and what I’d stare at while waiting for the elevator to come get me on the 18 floor? 22? Gone memory poof.

A collision that just happened, some local drivers drive like jerks. Combine that with these stupidly merged streets and BLAM. Entire families walking to and fro dinner were posing in front of it LOL.

A guy called me a slut on Facebook (who lives in Toronto so maybe I can punch him in the face myself personally) for posting a photo of myself in this bikini. You are not a slut for wearing a bikini on vacation WITH YOUR TWO MOMS a-hole.

Ryan Paterson you’re a slut

Raymi Lauren White you’re a f-ing donkey

Raymi Lauren White blocked and reported. wearing a bathingsuit in aruba is not slutty.

Emily Foreal being in a swimsuit/naked anywhere isn’t slutty :) it just is

Raymi Lauren White ‎34 mutual friends too, some nerve. ill punch his face off in toronto.

Mum was super pissing me off at this point. I had a late night. Susanne said she was proud of me (for surviving the week) as I SPRINTED down the airport of YYZ yards and yards maybe even a kilometre ahead of Mom (& Lois, but no offense Lois I had places to be) and kept hoofing it to customs. I always S my P in customs, I had a bad experience once cos I was so nervous I made them suspicious and now I am forever skittish. Anyway, thank goodness for long legs. Also, ” So u climbed a tree ? :P” (Why is it people think they can be so rude to me all the time on les internets?) Raymi Lauren White: my mother was yelling at me to pose a certain way that wasn’t feasible and it was my f-ing idea after a long hangover day on little sleep. I snapped.

Gamblor hangover.

Gorgeous shots mom.

How much do you think I want Georgia’s suit!?

Mom and Lois discovered this stretch of beach further down with these gorge chairs and it was a little more secluded cos it was at the very end, or the tip. Lol.

I def should buy this one.

We loved this talking parrot. It loved me because we have the same nose.

YIKES.

Continue reading

Mo Vespa mo probs

Come on you leetle beach, lets go.

Bajeelions of pictures for later. I have to work on an Aruba post though now so this was a little squeaker to get your fix sorted. No problem. Hey that’s what I’m here for.

Phenom dinner at the Rectory (for once lol) we made the kitchen with five minutes to spare before its closing. The burger was out of this world, this island. Steve eats plain (everything) burgers so when the patty is enough to impress this foodie alone, I am going to sing its praises to whomever will listen. BRB don’t touch anything while I’m gone.

You’ve been blobbed

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REMINDER:

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ATTENTION ALL PINTEREST DORKS! ANNOUNTING THE NOTABLE STOLI KURATION CONTEST! Floss your Leaderboard skills and win a pair of tickets to MADONNA (mom you make one for sure!) + an all expenses paid trip to the T-Dot + other high-end VIP spoils too: SHARE WHAT YOU LOVE AND WIN AN EXCLUSIVE STOLI PRIZE PACK VALUED AT $2,000 includes trip to Toronto, a pair of tickets to Madonna (Sept. 12), air and accommodation included, dinner, and entry to the Stoli VIP Party!!!!

AND NOW HERE IS WHAT MY LEADERBOARD LOOKS LIKE! http://notable.ca/stoli/raymi/. Be sure to like all my pics please then get started on your own. To enter: Just upload five pictures of anything you want that inspires you. I had a good time yesterday going through my tumblr and just scrolling down and down then narrowing my choices to 5 things that spoke to me the most and that’s how you win, people vote on images and the ones with the most likes obvs win. If you think you can out-viral me GO AHEAD MAKE MY DAY AND DO IT I mean that sincerely. There’s pretty good odds so far otherwise it’s just me and Madge and you wouldn’t like that now would you. Good luck sports fans!

My 5 Stoli Kurations are:

Steve McQueen is the man. Click and hover over it to Like it for me, thank you very much.

This one I call FANTASY underwater world secret life.

Cheeky kitty Oh you no I’s all about the cutesy and the pinks and the cats.

When I’m away at sea don’t forget about me <3.

This LOVE ME TIL I’M ME AGAIN piece I took a photo of at Brassaii then put on tumblr went viral, it’s got over 50k reblogs and notes and sum shit and it’s call cos-a me. ‘spect! I bet you can get more likes than me.

Raymaoke and the Machine

How much do you love that smoking kid? I danced like a Raymiac, we had so much fun. The rain garbage bag ponchos I saved from the zoo came in killer handy and made people in awe of us.

SOS Strung Out Sunday!!! Have a great one – Long weeeeeekend! :) Black Keys were amazing! Then we hit Rob’s 40th. Got great pics and had a great time I love my friends. Kay bye.

Little Switzerland jewelry Aruba browsing

Loved that shop. It was closed on Sunday the day I had planned to buy Raymbecca a stingray key chain. Oh well.