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Sinfluence.

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Okay okay blergh blah here’s some life of Raymi now.

Please don’t be offended by this, be offended by other things but not this. We were playing the secret middle finger game and he got a pic of me in action and I was like, I look great under a table! This is dinner in Holland Friday night it was outtasite!

This is my lady Bieber jacket he’s like what? Beaver? Yeah that too. Luckily this sports bra works as a wicked bathing suit top and isn’t see-through wuhoo double layer. Miley wears one in her new video can someone tell her to stop biting her bottom lip “all gangster” please. Now in the category of just saying I did white sports bra first. Life is a contest. Only when you win by accident though, when I lose “I don’t care”.

Sunday. Germany.

And now without the older version of us. Learned that Sunday is not a good day to come here if one is fungry. I didn’t mind at them moments the sun was out it was quite spectacular looking up at the castle but the young family beside us and their precocious toddler girl kept running into the street and the doofus dad was barely watching her, we got stressed.

I didn’t wear makeup or sunglasses and with sun in my face and dumb smile I look like Sam Crenshaw. My Canadian readers love when I say that. It’s cos my eyes get squinty like his and my “aristocratic” nose.

At da club. My arms strike a balance between toned not fat but not toned. Time for more triceps.

This pizza was great I can’t remember what it was called but it had meats on it mushrooms, red onion, and it was super good.

Oysters were fishy. But still good. Fishy bad though, can’t deal. Dealt.

German for Car wash. You learn just so much here don’t you.

Off to castle.

Hi.

So many crazy downhill lanes, I walked back to the car to grab my coat to sit on and I had to super pay attention to my foot placement between the cobblestones my ankle is already wicked f–ed. But yesterday I forced myself to run, more of a fast stupid looking jog but still progress. I CAN run from zombies. Yes in answer to your internal observation my boobs DO look huge. My face looks like that cos I didn’t want to pose here I wanted the wall with the classic red triangle shutters. All my photo “poses” are candid for the most part cos no one has patience around here.

RRrrrrrowsers. Sitting in the sun on the only sun patio part makes you feel special, chosen. The sun has chosen me. Everyone looks, you feel observed so you have to smile or ignore, two options.

Days before then I can’t remember which one lets say last Monday it was hot so after the beach then the Germany pool we stayed in Germany to have Greek dinner yum. They gave complimentary shots of ouzo at the beginning of the meal, very smart business that. As he was taking his sip after we “proost” (cheersed) I said see you on the other side of our fight and he laugh spat ouzo everywhere, ZING.

Nails look manky here but they match his shorts. BTW the wasterslides at that pool are intense and the kids, omg passive aggressive as hell hogging the slides once they got to the top and just SIT THERE I’m like are you gonna move kid? My English speaking persuasion held no power there WTF!

Move please.

It was sunnier earlier and still very warm. Patio watching is a great past time.

MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm. Calamari and (Hardest word ever) tzatziki is SO GOOD.

Wow my hair looks so much more red back then I want to dye it every 2 weeks to keep building the colour up the ends are lightening already.

Pool water curly. Today my hair is like super long a ringa ding dong.

Sometimes the “holy shit” handles are actually necessary.

Feets in Germany belly fulla Greek.

Don’t look now a German sunset. Okay look treat yo’self.

To think guys at home get my sunset sloppy seconds six hours later AND FACE. I’ll stop talking like that. Eventually.

I was getting conceited from my Alicia Silverstoner hair flip in the sun.

Bun hair helps make the curl and lake water plus pool plus lets go now right now.

Of course you are called Fritz.

If I didn’t tell you this was on the border of Germany/Holland you’d think it was Wasaga or MTL.

I am really gonna miss this fucking place. Life is a journey. Where to next.

To the German waters. Ducks and birds got all territorial at us and swarmed us but of course we had no food. Had to hold my flip flop up at certain points, I don’t care I’ll slap a duck if I have to. Those beak pecks are vicious. Vroom vroom time to vacuum! OUTTIE.

PBE V SPOT

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Hi assholes ready for more internet you may have/probably seen already with a Raymi Bunny twist? Don’t answer that rhetorical Q cos it’s V SPOT TIME you dummy! I’ll give you a quick taste of one of the videos RIGHT MEOW because IpretendLU.

“He’s a really big deal, I know, I’m told this.” Um stupid MSNBC bitch, what you actually know is shit outside the American brainwashing landscape bubble what is your think locally; act locally ignorant mind. Russell Brand goes on Morning Joe to promote his Messiah Complex tour and these three morning show jerk-offs have no fucking clue who or what he is and is big time cringe-inducing to watch them be so HEE-HAW rude to him until Brand starts calling ‘em on their shit. “Well thank you for your casual objectification.” And how. These morons should do their homework next time, because the on air awkwardness emanating from this shit-interview, “shiterview” is not a good look for MSNBC, Russell then goes on to manically report actual news delving into Snowden territory. Sorry MSNBC, but in the game of Dumb vs smart, you’re the former and the country Russell Brand (the guy you acted so coolly aloof about) hails from the latter. AND FACE.

NOW READ THE REST/ENJOY. Peace, love Raymi Bunny.

LIFE SLAY

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Just before it started pissing and hollering out yesterday. It was still pretty warm, I like when weather sits on its head like that.

2:30 in the afternoon darkness. A gypsy earring represents.

Here I’m thinking how great an idea flip flops was.

Spooky starts to settle in. You should probs be listening to the Black Keys for this.

TWO THIRTY. Storm’s a comin’.

Driving to Germany. Took an interesting route to the border where there’s no sign and I wouldn’t know we’d crossed over unless he pointed it out. He pointed it out.

Nice fence.

Afternoon high beams.

Storms scare and excite me.

Lost highway.

Can you tell the difference between the unhappy and the happy (he had a ring on she didn’t) couple? I can.

It was guzzling out and so had an inclusive atmosphere about it.

High ceilings in Gatsby style.

And everybody watched everybody else just a little bit.

It was late so it was almost like early dinner I suppose and we ordered as such.

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Netherlands is sinking baby I don’t wanna swim

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Yesterday ay 2:30 in the afternoon it turned into Helen Hunt storm chasing darkness then it drenched rain 2 months worth in 4 hours on Holland for awhile, we were on our way to Germany for lunch knowing this thing was about to hit. Always at the ass-end of June there’s a hurricane, the hot weather makes the earth go crazy bananas in pajamas. I took videos and pictures the whole way through then later on in the evening the moisture turned into condensation (mist) and blanketed the farm land like something spookyalamalooky, it is creepy and haunting and terribly beautiful in a UK kinda way. Not a good time for a night run (psychos) and after we fed our bitchy duck friend, a duck, and the fish and this one other idiot duck we saw every field enveloped in fog and it stayed light til past 10pm cos it’s solstice soon. It’s magical and eerie to drive through the pounding fog with wet branches slapping the windshield. Holy shit am I writing weather porn? Enjoy the video, pics on the way. It was scary driving in the rain btw at one point in this video it looks like we’re going to hit a truck and the song playing is pretty gitzy too. You know gino gitz, beats?

Okay bye.

don’t lurk at me

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Inside that white bag is duck bread obviously. MAD FOR DUCKS.

This one is ridonkulous. I’m smoothie bloated. Made three varieties today and I didn’t even crack open the smoothie book yet. All I bought was fruit last night at the market. Fruit and beer. Makes sense.

Made an amazing dry stir fry that strokes the almighty chinese food hangover craving. I didn’t over spice it for once. Added chicken that I flavoured in wasabi pepper sauce and garlic salt plus wok oil, curry and coriander. I am amazing.

Full on man cave day. My original flight back home was today, going back later next week instead now. Flex tickets are essential. Seriously sublet hunting if you know of anything lemme know. I heard you all missed me.

Pool water slide hair don’t care.

This suit gets a lot of attention that I can’t even handle I stare at the pavement.

Chuck Norris pants seeeen.

German sunset.

I did a lot of MY BOYFRIEND IS ANGRY updates today I mean he did.

okay back to stupid now bye bye.

There’s a leak at the plumber’s house.

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Hi ho hi ho it’s off to blog I go. Like my new dress? Me too. Heartbreaker Fashion sent me two dresses and this week is the perfect week to wear them, it’s going to be even hotter tomorrow. Psyched. BF caught up on a bunch of work so he’s in a cool mood it’s gonna be awesome.

I look tired but I look pretty tired not fuck you’re pretty tired I mean I am pretty as well as tired. We shouldn’t even have gone out but after the week we had we needed some us-time. The 19 yr old step daughter who worked here was generous with the shots and she said she thought I was 24. She could not believe I was 30, it was like I told her I was fifty. Wuhoo. I tell ya being immature or having childlike qualities and charm will keep you young. My mom is my youth role model in that sense.

Gyro pizza. Kinda good kinda wtf, had the rest the next day for lunch. This post is going to be a crazy stupid mess (my photos have uploaded in a scatter) so keep those expectations down kay thanks. This is in Germany on Friday. A man at the bar asked me in German if I control my boyfriend but the waitress had to translate it, he was a lone barfly stirring the pot and I was like why does it look like he needs controlling? Can he sense the crazy? Then the man got all embarrassed when he realized we were going to need a translator and that maybe he should STFU. Like seriously don’t make comments to strangers who are in love with each other and meddle with that shit. I so wanted to know more though. I think his curiosity just got the better of him once we were taking photos is all but really it was supposed to be a compliment to me like please control me instead.

Afterward we walked around the castle it was 10 o’clock and twilight. Twilight means dusk right? No wait that’s when the sun comes up. Ask a vampire jeez. Anyway I wore stupes shoes for cobblestones and my injury but I still climbed up that hill without bailing.

Father’s Day orchids. When mum is like get him a purple orchid that is SO a gift for her I love it and hell fuckin yeah we’ll get you a flower it means we get to go to the flower store. I love any kind of outing cos I get to check up on the local peeps being all normal and Dutch, it’s bizarro land then someone usually interacts with me socially and I just go what? English please and they blush like cray. Then I get all this attention and it’s like sliding down an attention waterfall with stars and rainbows flying out all over the place around me and then BF drags me out of there.

Sis and I went for a bike ride yesterday it was lovely and fun and I bought this bike but have only used it once baha. Bike riding is religion here. People cycle in pairs and hold on to each other’s arms as if they’re strolling through a shopping mall with all the time in the world. I’m still a n00b though and have to be alert cos crap is coming at you from all sides, streets are charming and rounded not grid-like straight and perpendicular like in North America there’s intersecting bike lanes everywhere that turn into traffic lanes then sidewalks you can’t really tool around stoned or drunk until you know what the fuck you’re doing. Or have someone with you doing the thinking for you.

Love this park so much. It’s so hippie and when I look at all the teens and early twenties set I’m like where the hell did my youth go? I missed out. Instead of sitting around in groups on blankets with people my own age I was running around with bossy geezers.

Sis knows the guy who did this. She’s going to do a Minx Graffiti tag in my honour. Psyched.

Course when it’s on the internet it looks all obvious but when you’re in a bar shyly beating your way through “heren” looks just as feminine, which is dutch for male. Heren sounds like a bird and birds are like women. My brain is a theme park with rides a plenty.

This is a steep street, driving down it with bf is a trip. Going through tinier streets where the houses are crammed so close together and it’s a lane road that goes both ways and you don’t know what’s around the bend is nuts.

Even ghosts get scared.

Oh what a week. I have a lot to say but I don’t think I should. Just appreciate your life, the people in it and each moment that you have and be as healthy as you can cos when he’s coming for you he’s coming and that’s that.

I’ve had this kaftan since I was 27.

My presents came in the mail. They’re all in Dutch. That FOOD book is 400 euros in english, in dutch, 60. It has a picture of every single food, vegetable, meat, fish, under the sun it is incredible. When bf was like I got you a present I’m like is it clothes is it a ring it better not actually be a gift for you or a vacuum. Lol.

Smoothie breakfast is my daily job. He’s kinda a control freak but this thing is my department now. I put ginger in the blender once and it was like WWII Jesus Christ what a baby.

Sister is the best. I want to set her up with my brother. Would that be weird if siblings all dated like tic tac toe? What family isn’t weird though? She’s really happy I’m here and gettin’ attached and shit! We had a couple boys fall in love with us at this park then later on the same guys were at the supermarket and it got to the point of unbearable discomfort having to force a smile and hello every time we passed each other then the guy waited for us outside (I think it was probably for me but whatever lol) and it was like alright that’s enough stalker.

Mhmm mhmm. It’s funny to me that this is my local beer but in Parkdale it also was the extra few tallboys you throw on the pile of booze you buy, I’ve always loved Grolsch it’s like the piss water easy going down of beer. I know a lot about beer, I ain’t no brew master or craft beer dickhead dork but beer is beer lets not showboat around about it okay.

Do you like my wheels? My bike came with one of those wheel backpack things that professors would use, everyone has them here. See that thing over the back wheel that’s how you lock your bike so much handier than u-lock bullshit.

Here we go. I’m wearing slob clothes now cos I only want to wear my dresses when we actually go somewhere and I think I will sweat all over it today, but I’ll probably throw it in the back seat cos we’ll probs hit a patio after a walk.

We only had his Iphone with us for photos. Spooky. Anyway I gotta split. You’re welcome for blogging. xo rlw