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Just before it started pissing and hollering out yesterday. It was still pretty warm, I like when weather sits on its head like that.

2:30 in the afternoon darkness. A gypsy earring represents.

Here I’m thinking how great an idea flip flops was.

Spooky starts to settle in. You should probs be listening to the Black Keys for this.

TWO THIRTY. Storm’s a comin’.

Driving to Germany. Took an interesting route to the border where there’s no sign and I wouldn’t know we’d crossed over unless he pointed it out. He pointed it out.

Nice fence.

Afternoon high beams.

Storms scare and excite me.

Lost highway.

Can you tell the difference between the unhappy and the happy (he had a ring on she didn’t) couple? I can.

It was guzzling out and so had an inclusive atmosphere about it.

High ceilings in Gatsby style.

And everybody watched everybody else just a little bit.

It was late so it was almost like early dinner I suppose and we ordered as such.


Just me and my friend. She’s looking at the camera in the other pics so cute. The more people realize I only speak English the more peculiar I am and insane everything I do looks. Today at the pool the lifeguard this big burly awesome lesbo was like she doesn’t speak Dutch. Then hogged my bf for 5 minutes about us getting a pool membership and I was like PEACE and got to changing. I think I carried a butch vibe with me today. Oh and we act like children when we go to the pool anyway (WATERSLIDE AND POOL TOYS HELLO) so that makes us uber approachable in that people think they can dominate us. WRONG. A lone wolf aerobics old gal smiled at me a lot every time I passed her in the pool going inside and out and up to the water slide like I felt she was going you go girl in her head to me in Dutch LOL. Just think if I had said Hi to her all English her eyes would have boggled right out of her fucking head. I loved her. All dumpling and Dutch floating with a fluorescent pool noodle not doing any of the aquafit shit at all.

It’s a geezer state here, grey state he called it. A generation of people were skipped, didn’t produce babies anymore so you see old folks everywhere, they’re my peers now. I can handle it because it makes me feel about as grown up as I am. Which isn’t much. Like oh hello there sweetie here have some candy, thanks Grandma!

People watching here was the greatest. When you sit sibe-by-side grouchy Muppets old men style it kinda just happens.

See that rain. See that girl smiling at me? Annoying right. Like I’m taking a picture of the rain I wanted to sign to her then eventually did but she ignored that WTF! I am trying to alleviate the paranoia you do not have about me possibly taking your picture. The woman to our left kept thinking I was looking at her when in actuality I was checking out how rain frizzy my hair could possibly look so it was like OKAY CAN NO LONGER LOOK OVER THERE NOW. Which meant I was going to look ten times more. Then I noticed she had a beer and was in a super good mood, no ring, he was older and had one on: AFFAIR. He pretend joke choked her too I was like that’s that all about, Nigella?

I just attention deficit disordered myself for a second there lotsa multi-tasking going on around here. I knew if we got up early today for a swim we’d prematurely exhaust ourselves like seniors.

That’s me.

I spy. He spy.

Pina colada (PENIS COLADA) and pinot grigio party. I hallucinated that that drink accessory was a sparkler on its way over like WOAH Germany you craze.

But why is this a picture in the menu for like, hobos welcome? Come on over for a big nap do whatever the hell you want.

Bread comes with everything here everywhere and all of the time when in doubt throw some bread on it. Perfect for our ducks.

Nice cheeseburger where the fuck is it?

I want a big mac now thanks a lot me.

Seriously where did it go? I guess Germany takes it’s “Hamburg”ers seriously. (Dad that one was for you). Should I go to The Cavern Club? Where The Beatles were discovered by Brian Epstein (everyone else obvs dad knows that).


Then an older version of comfortable silence us arrived for a drink and watched the rain.

Thanks for the good times Germany. This is my more Euro look when I don’t wear under eyeliner and do a tiny-eyed smoking cigarettes Patti Smith french chick thing. I’m wearing black aerobics shorts too.

News photog reporting the news of rain. 400+ people called 911 yesterday for rain, except over here 911 is 112. Isn’t that a band name?

Now I’m listening to this and it’s been hours since I first started this super post. I gots other tings I gots to do boo. BF distraction. We are kind of like a siamese twin. Jeopardy answer.

That pink shift shirt has teeny bling all over the shoulder part. YAY. Unicorn level now.

I didn’t want to make a gorillas in the mist joke but too late. A bit Jurassic Park. There are not many high points in Holland, this is one of them. If not all? It’s high but not that high I’ve been higher lol Snoop.

It was better before these but we didn’t have a camera or a phone, I left it at home for “us time” then we got killed by wicked awesome fog everywhere cos it was still so light out (solstice, holla) and he made us drive all the way home to get the camera for these. Crazy is as crazy does. It was kinda hot?

He was wearing Steve Irwin tourist shorts too so it was more exploratory. We’re both escapists in a constant state of the great outback travel consumption way. Not going to get in to the plans but he’s hyper active and sights on a few places we’ll be heading soon, just wait and see but omg this photo right.

Just as dark at 10pm as it was in the afternoon. But light slowly turning dark. Being on another planet in another world which I am.

And now out my window. They were better before the fog thickened you could see the distance and height for miles, different levels of trees just the tops peeking out of the fog ultra Lord of the Rings. Hella mist it was so moving I guess he was like that’s it camera time. It was beautiful.

This is the craziest placed house, so close to the road one of these days someone’s going to drive through it trying to get around that gingerbread bend. I ADORE this house.

Hell yeah.

Time for some U2. Or Jeff Buckley.

We watch a lot of car shows too.

I wonder which shows I watch you watch. Top Gear anybody? Wheeler dealers trading up? Idiot Abroad has ended. Dealers, fast ‘n loud?

Ooh I want this for my timeline. Chose a diff one instead. Tonight it’s gonna be light til midnight right? ILU Summer Wheatley (name that reference).

LOVE THIS ONE. Pavarotti oh my god.

I’ve never been in here but they have everything. Read: WINE BOOZE FOOD SMOKES life essentials.

Zombie weather.

This belongs hashtagged on tumblr as pale blog. WTF is that all about? Kids use pastel photos only and like really artistic and depressed pictures of girls sitting sad on bed with long hair and skinny bodies. I think all teenagers are depressed it looks like and they have a penchant for equestrian and cigarettes.

Hi Stephen King.

Landscape painting. Road trip porn.

Reminds me of TBay.

And zombies. Why do zombies get to run really fast in Dawn of the Dead? Thanks to films like that there’s a show called Dooms day Preppers. If there is nuclear fallout 1. you’re going to be instantly wiped out and 2. Zombies? As if. Stop wasting your time. Maybe, MAYBE “if the system shuts down” we’ll have a vigilante state of emerge and thus need to go all “The Road” (chilling) and need guns and armour and okay fine but I’m not living my life like that.

You watch a lot of tv, you get a load of crap in the form of differing world opinions and inevitably get your own opinion on everything that there is at some point in life and now was my time to talk about dooms day divas. Lets never discuss this ever again.

I live for the now. But maybe I should take up boxing.

You can’t rain on my parade but you can rain on my garden. TGIF BYE!

9 thoughts on “LIFE SLAY

  1. 400 people called 911 for rain? That’s hilarious. I live in Seattle, known for its rain, and here people ‘tard out when it snows. No one knows how to drive in it. Love the misty photos.

  2. OMG 10/10 for funny! I was laughing out loud. In a public place. In a country where I don’t have to do anything but am still more conspicuous than everyone else in a given room. I loved how people could just not see that you wanted to take a picture of the rain – DUH! What, take pictures of people, are you crazy? Who wants to look at that? :P Are you and BF in Tdot yet? I hear this trip is coming to an end and it’s looking like I may not get a Euro Raymi Reunion, but I’ll be in Toronto pretty soon. We’ll visit The Central and pretend it’s 2010 again and we just met and became instant friends (you won’t have to serve stuff to me this time though) <3

  3. Ill still serve you free dranks! I’ll be back in EURO after + mid summer too but yes Central piss-up will happen it’s a landmark raymi ritual. As for my camera over here I look ten times more bananas than in Toronto taking pictures of normal shit. This crazy barfly was staring me down for awhile after taking a few snaps here and it got a bit intense lol.

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