Well, hello there.

I feel like there is a Kardashian (several) version of this shot. Thank you Dave for capturing this. Alllllllll THIS. It’s not as skanky as you think I was going slow and steady to protect my knees. #oldlady

(Should I get knee pads for getting in and out of the ring, matching knee pads? Sexy knee pads? Note to self for later).

I will probably rupture something today doing perma-abs flexed. Should I bring my cat ears? Raymiana Grande it up? I’ll pack a little tickle trunk. I’m like Ms. Dressup Ms. Minxup.

And, do I keep the blue nail polish?

AND, I will not be standing as casual as this today.

Thanks for the shoot mom.

A courier brought my makeup from Naked News so I am going to blast my eyes with Black Swan face wish me luck on that.

Oh you know, working on my cougar niche market. Hello boys.

I’m going to be signing autographs today. I will post a picture of the first one I do (if it happens). Have been working out my signature slogan ok here is one, KEEP IT REAL, RAYMI LAUREN and then draw a star and a heart, that’s my thing fyi.

or

Keep it real no matter how you feel! RLW and a bunch of scribbling.

I figure I need to write something impacting, but don’t stalk me, stalk TO me and memorable. Actually eveyrone will get something different. Like add me on Facebook. READ MY FUCKING BLOG. Yeah, gonna go with that. Actually I will dial it back. We will see lol.

Yesterday was the first time I ever tanned with my makeup off and put bronzer on my face.

Alright that’s enough dilly dallying wish me luck Little Raymis ILU TGIF IDGAF GTFO GTL DTF ROFL XOXO OMFG BYE. Shower time excellent!

Hi dummies. This is my new postcard after all that posing and sassing around yesterday in my bedroom. I guess I give good floor. I’m off to do some pre-show prepping meow. I wanted to blog more pics as usual but I’ll save that for tonight instead. I am dating myself now I guess. You are kind of dating everyone when you’re single actually. The manpile doth grow but I have no time for it but it’s great promo I will say again and then never again because soon tinder will be cluttered with ads and shit.

Shoes from Holland I never wear.

There’s a lot of goodies on my camera too. I just want to wallpaper a post with all of them and be done with it.

Remind me to wear a hat today btw and to buy toothpaste and bananas.

Isn’t this blog just the funnest.

We have a problem with these bottoms. I am too fit for them. Might do something today about that. Either eat a lobster steak dinner OR just buy a smaller pair.

And if all else fails there’s always a 1-900 phone sex career right around the corner thanks to my mom’s nightie.

Once I am done being a wrestle model girl, of course.

G2G Peace.

Hey boo, or, boos. Booboodoodoos is what I actually prefer, but anyway, hey.

Don’t think I have ever blogged this amazon photo of myself which is jarring because it is so Raymazing. I feel like at the time “I had a lot going on” and always meant to get back to that dinner because in the frey are a ton of great shots. At some point in every blog post I complain about shit like this. My photos, my photos, where are my photos oh God! Fuck. Then I hunt through flickr and get speedbumped in the brain with other stuff to sprinkle around, which I do, and then more time goes by, more messages come in, notifications, emails, what have you I am VERY much a person at the breaking point with technology addictions as well as personal life changes? Too much input for sure.

My friend just emailed me, I looked at his name appear and rolled my eyes because STOP JUST STOP EVERYTHING STOP TALKING AHHH and his email is complaining about the same shit I am writing about now.

He interrupted, sorry, emailed me earlier to “do something” more unsolicited life advice (COOL GREAT THANKS BECAUSE THERE ISN’T ENOUGH IN MY BRAIN ALREADY) and then I was all I AM ALREADY DOING THAT VERY THING TODAY ARGGGG AGHHH!!! (but then in nice voice I said good, find me a local person then).

So his email just now was about being sucked into a vortex of internet shit and not finding the thing for me that was HIS GODDAMN IDEA TO BEGIN WITH but then a funny anecdote about discovering Hamilton has a nude beach so that’s good but also ends in “I hate the internet”.

He just wrote again and said not to talk about him because he is supposed to be doing heaps of work. We have been annoying each other for years and years online and have stopped talking altogether of recent or for a stretch there because we just slack so fucking much I guess as well as create in other capacities. That’s why the internet is great because when you are busy fucking around on it you can fuck around more by reaching out to all your buds and then become overwhlemed moreso.

Anyway it’s one of those days and I don’t even have time for this.

I’m not going to relax until everything is unpacked and my mother, god bless her, keeps giving me bags of more clothes. Awesome as they are, it’s just a lot to deal with when part of you requires order and wants to be organized, yet the other half wants to relax and take it as it goes.

This is all smug priviliged whining now that I think about it.

No matter what you do in your life, everything, anything, is annoying at some point.

I am psyched for this Friday however and going to dance out these demons right now as well as prep for a photoshoot I bet will not be over soon enough to get postcards printed but who cares.

Okay Dave Cave is here now kay bye!!!!!!!

Happy good Friday to you all.

Totally would have coloured the chick something weird regardless BUT I still needed a yellow for the flower’s centre’s! whatev. I stopped at adding crucifixes I didn’t want to punk rock it up too hard.

Dranks and a snack out last night. I kinda spaced that it was good Friday today. Everything closed. Ghost Town.

Moving day. My birthday. I keep forgetting. Feels like I didn’t have one.

Except for this then pretty much went right to bed.

A couple of weeks ago. I feel like dusk is a haunting time of day, if you have missed the day by chance. You get a panic – oh no, my life is passing me by. I made a morning coffee joke today while looking at the clock and said I am watching the seconds of my life literally tick by. We laughed of course but yeah the more time is wasted the more my clock ticks and I don’t intend to waste it anymore.

Found my shirts for next Friday WOOT! I bought two. 6 bucks each. Secret ace in the sleeve store hell ya. The girl who checked me out was very chatty to me so it was a retail bonus. I was wearing a sweater from said store and maybe that is why also, like I was store royalty because I knew if you wanted that particular sweater you have to have been there in November sorry! Trifecta funny because it’s such a basic store so I am their basic queen. Guess what world, basic is the majority, hashtag winning. Air quotes. Whatever. Yeah whatever man, so whatever. This dialogue is off the chain.

Lacey lacey lady. Mom unloaded lots of pants and tops on me for my bday.

The mirrors are close together so you kinda have to contort to get all the action in.

Birthday celebrations continued into April fools, that we were. Was a nice and full day. Love being active and outdoors. Ate too much though. Back to dieting.

Yesterday’s linner. Trying to only eat once a day again.

Sigh.

Mom dress hook-up she wore to a wedding. Belting it! The summer of belting it? Oh god I need to get belts so bad man.

I am going to add more blond soon. Just wait til it is really hippie long and golden shit will get bananas! Maybe?

I like how I am always charting progress with hair forecasts and weight loss, body chiselling. The thing is when these things happen things DO change somewhat. You start to dress bolder and then have crazy pictures. I am nearing Kim Cattrall phase/years where cougars behave embarrassingly and what not so you know, have fun with it while I can. Before everything starts drooping, dropping and so on.

Dita Von Teese looks amazing no? I could just keep going right? Answer me you friggin blog! haha.

Unpacking progress isn’t so bad. I have hung up a lot of stuff and did a ton of laundry blabbity blah. My room will be mint when I am done with it and I’ll take proper pics oke-doke.

Packing was so stressful. Well moving I mean. I feel relief now.

I’ll miss that location for the infinitieth time but I am super psyched right now to be here.

Long day bruh.

Aw hi.

From the bustling tropical oasis locale of Burlington I bid y’all adieu.

ps. blog post title came from this song.

No time no time! I be moving! Here I am on my 26th bday in Vancouver, was in town for the Junos and this was an awesome after party gala. Great swag bags that night! I met feist too!

See?

This is a bday restrospective because I look like a moving witch right meow lol.

Anyway you get the point lets look at another year.

The following year I was a twiggy blond.

I packed a lot of crap for one night.

Entering the 27th club. I made it out alive lol.

Lady Gaga was huge at the time I guess haha.

Anyway that’s enough memory lame for now. Thank you for being a friend!

Here’s a picture of me and Josh Homme (went to QOTR on my 28th bday).

Had biz mezzanine to myself at sound academy.

Was epic.

And proof of my legendary shots moment. He gave me one of those. That dude groupie would not leave him the hell alone either so we could not have a private moment. What’s worse than chick groupies? Dude groupies. Completely useless.

My 5th (6th?) birthday was pretty off the chain too.

2006 on tour with Matt Good Birthday looked like.

2008 bday.

Here I am last Friday though btw!

It’s that time again! This one features Rocky.

Enjoying the space while I still got it. This video is from last week tho btw.