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punk dancing for self defence

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We were having a belt buckle battle.

I think mine wins.

Hahah omg. Couldn’t even wait a sec before the close up, check the gooey cheese over there on my side plate. It wasn’t pretty.

Because it was beautiful. Ordering it was funny, hi, we’ll have the sweet potato fries poutine, except not sweet potato fries, and no beef, plus a side of sour cream (which never came, though I asked THREE TIMES!) but no complaints cos the sun was shining.

I kept forgetting I was wearing this cowboy hat (thanks alison!) but it was the perfect charmer at the caddy. I think it intimidated our servers, they divided to conquer us and ended up screwing up lots. I wasn’t even mean at all (never am).

Do you want to talk about my hip bones?

ok fine, maybe later then. omg so busy gahhhhhhhhhh explode explode!

adorable cheese. life is short.

I am writing burlesque notes for my several upcoming shows. I’d like to do a photoshoot soon too with Jasmine Valentine. Just you wait for what I am cooking up. First, we were promoted to saturday on HALLOWEEKEND now (I made that word up last night) so the date has changed to OCTOBER 29. We will open the show to this song:

I am loling to this now. I know the entire film, every word, lyric. I was a nerd at one point.

bewb watch.

Pear mojitos, skinny. Pearjitos. I am trying to get kate moss tiny. My stress mania is helping in spades.

You know I am a genius, right?

SO much so that I got us mad ballerz a vip sushi drop in. Mad ‘spect Umami. I was just talking about how I would so totally entertain in a teahouse like memoirs of a geisha. Put it on the to do list before 30 thank you. Maybe I’ll do a dance to gorillaz white flag. I think we had decided that I would. I also have a ninja costume. PERFECT!

And then we can copy kim cattrall sex and the city movie sequel (trying to track down that post when I saw it in theatre with meredith and all of toronto’s female media, it was so fun) waiting on valentine’s day all night long for her boyfriend with sushi all over her naked body.

Next up, Arlene and I discuss mole people and ecosystems. I love getting involved with sustainability modern new agey do gooder stuff makes me feel good. More people should do it. Turns out, they are! Love this inspiring slogan:

Inspired by the Past, Motivated by the Future.

I will also be telling you all about a mega party with ANDY MILONAKIS!!! I am getting involved with to take a break from all that charity. (PLEASE DONATE TO MY CN TOWER TEAMMATE I’M THE AMBASSADOR FOR/ALONG WITH!) At the moment I am trying to do thrice the work in half the time and it is making me a billion per cent lethal. I need to go for a run before I go bananas.

BLOG POST TITLE came from this.

Ok so sometimes I care about stuff other than myself so listen up

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tristan is in orange, ace is in yellow, owen is in green. the mutt, nina, is not ours (thank god)… no offence, nina.
x

thats the makings of a tv show right there.

So, this cool chick facebooked me the other day about a hamilton party thing, coincidentally I was going through my FB messages today to catch up on all the ones I miss as it’s like Beatlemania fan mail somedays ’round here.

(raymi@raymitheminx.com lol).

Anyhooters, I get this email from her today that kind of sparks our FB chat that you will read following her email (Which is mass-forwarded and therefore horribly formatted):

> I’m participating in 2011 CN Edge Walk. I will be Facing MY Fear and taking a step out on the edge as I walk around the OUTSIDE of the CN Tower for AboutFace!
>
> ‘Face Your Fear’ is being hosted by AboutFace to raise money and awareness for Camp Trailblazers: a retreat for kids ages 10 to 18 who have facial differences.
>
> Many of these kids will meet other kids like themselves for the first time. At Camp Trailblazers, they will learn life skills, challenge themselves to overcome physical barriers, and create life long friendships. To learn more about Camp Trailblazers and the event visit www.aboutface.ca
>
> You can help support me by making a secure online donation using your credit card. Click on the link below:
>
www.aboutface.ca
>
> Thanks for your support!

THIS MADE ME FEEL JEALOUS AND INSPIRED. TWO FAVOURITE THINGS. No, well, I want to do this CN Tower walk too but I am already in the middle of so many other things blabbity blah, also kind of probably totally terrified, but mostly don’t have the time to campaign for donations in order to do it, what’s more, I don’t have triplets with cleft palets so I would be an asshole to campaign over Jenn now that she showed up on my radar. Hoping to marry our two adrenaline junky wants together to form a super-power awareness so we can walk the edge and you can give her all the money and I just get to dangle 1,815.4 ft and faint at 1,815.4 ft just so I can say that I did. It will be just like what I did on Saturday at Brickworks except 1,685 feet SCARIER. One day I will call for donations to climb up the CN Tower stairs though. We have 4 sets of stairs in this townhouse, sometimes climbing them just once in a day is enough to make me wheeze a little. BAD SIGN!

Jenn

thinking you should come to supercrawl in grimy, ol’ hamilton today. all day art and bands and loveliness.

http://www.supercrawl.ca/

Raymi Lauren White:

i just tweet noticed a girl talking about it. i am already crush f-cked all over again from last night. do you live there? my godmother has a resto, a nice italian one, tracadaros? anyway ill be in the hammer soon.

Jenn:

yep… i live there. trocadero! that place is a hamilton fixture. i’ve never eaten there, but i think i should- i’ve heard great things about it. thinking of you on this 9/11. i can hardly bear to watch the footage on tv. can’t imagine what it was like to witness it firsthand. that kind of thing changes a person forever.

Raymi Lauren White

aw i missed this sorry for delay. i havent eaten at trocadero (my godmother’s restaurant in hamilton) yet either cant wait. theres a delay in opening it cos one of the cooks injured her hand aw. just got yer cn tower email thing i totally wanted to do that. how do i get in as an ambassador w/o having to do the charity crap part to raise awareness for all involved?

Jenn

i only found out about it because my triplets were all born with cleft lips (they figure it was some sort of fluke when the egg divided so many times). the organization offers support and resources for families of kids with all varieties of facial differences. you could try emailing someone there. jessica is the manager of marketing and outreach, so maybe start there: jessica@********

i am terrified of doing it. they give a breathalyzer before to make sure you’re not tanked, otherwise i’d have a few for sure.

Raymi Lauren White

omg i would smoke a billion doobs. triplets! cleft lips! you saint and inspiration. ill make a donation pitch on my blog for you then. when does it happen?

Jenn

awww, you are sweet. it’s october 28. i think any other info would be on the email i sent with pledge link etc. it’s strange with my kids, too, since they are indentical, but they have their clefts in different places. tristan had a complete one on the left side with a cleft palate, owen had an incomplete one on the right, and ace had an incomplete one in the middle. strangely enough, the locations are indentical with their position in utero. we are so lucky that their clefts are only a cosmetic problem and they had no associated syndrome. they are smart as whips and creative as can be. their surgeon was amazing, and some people don’t even notice, but it breaks your heart as a mother when your kids stare at themselves in the mirror and ask why their lips aren’t shaped like other kids in their class. anyway… typical mother ramble. did you want me to send you a photo of the turkeys? many mercis.

Raymi Lauren White

what are the associated syndromes? joaquin phoenix has/had one. you should write to him, and then get him to have sex with me. deal! and yeah barely noticeable. will be considered hot when they’re older, just dont let them turn into dorks. should i make a dont let them turn into dorks work shop?

Jenn

nah… no anti-dork workshop. i think you should have a workshop for men who are already dorks and spin ‘em into cool dudes.

yeah, there are tons of crazy genetic syndromes that have clefts as a ‘feature’. we are so thankful that for our dudes it’s just a fluke… strictly cosmetic. it’s crazy how common it is, too, and how many misconceptions there are associated with it. when they were babies, some salty broad at the grocery store asked if their brains were ok. i nearly decked her. anyway. i’m sure joaquin phoenix would love to have sex with you.

Raymi Lauren White

better idea. your disposition in general despite having 400 joaquin phoenix clones is f-ing adorable. this is how we will get donations for you by exploiting this talk, having senses of humour is the last phone call to a friend i have from killing myself some days. you’re alright buddy.

DEAR PLANET TORONTO,

GIVE THIS WOMAN WHO HAS THREE BOYS (WORTHY ENOUGH OF DONATIONS) SOME MONEY (for aboutface, her charity) SO SHE CAN DO SOMETHING INSANE AND THEREFORE MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT. I AM GOING TO HARASS JESSICA TO LET ME IN ON THIS TOO COS I SURE AS HELL ok I’ll stop yelling, I sure as hell am not having triplets in time to get you to care about me, like I need money to hang on to a building, I’ll do it for free hahaha. Help me spread the word too, you know I love you, tell me what you want, I’ll give you some of my toys or send you to a concert, or design a date, get you laid, maybe even continue blogging so you have something to read at work tomorrow.

XO Your pal Raymbo.

(pretty sure if I go through with this my dad will faint. I made a hot air balloon ride joke once and he could not handle it). (hi dad miss you!)

I know I could never jump out of a plane, the feeling of falling would seriously make me be blacked out all the way down and my jump partner would be like cradling a baby. Boring and embarrassing. With the edge walk you’d be forced to be lucid the whole way through. This just got real.

Ps. Jenn did not ask me to do this post either. I like to call this MODERN WARFARE ON CHARITY. I think we all need to man up and start givin’ a care and if it takes (and it does) crazy stunts to get money out of people for honest to goodness causes then by all means, throw me in a lion pit, I’ll do it. Jenn’s spirit regarding her boys is what moved me most of all. I feel like the majority of people (or the perception of them) with some kind of physical handicap or disability or a child with one, they seem lobotomized or neurotic, uptight, un-fun, and Jenn seems funner than a lot of people I love more than myself, right? People with no reason for chips on their shoulders and such. Role model material that girl is.

Thank you so much for the donates in advance!

you crack me up. your post is grand… only one small correction that doesn’t matter much anyway, but all 3 had cleft lips, only 1 had the cleft palate, as well. no matter, really. what i like is that you’re helping bring awareness to such a great organization. aboutface was a wealth of resources for my husband and i when we first started on this adventure. there are so many kids who suffer from self-esteem issues etc based on their facial differences, and it warms my heart to think that there is a camp where they can go to feel just like their peers. aboutface also educates on syndromes such as apert, crouzon, and non-syndromic conditions such as hemangiomas. education breeds acceptance, i always say. can i cheer about them more?

and honestly your kids are cute as hell so good luck with people sympathizing ;)

omg i picture me and joaquin floating on clouds in gladiator outfits (from his movie) and your boys as our golden floating cherubs. gahahaha.

Ladies don’t get stuff done

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The tire parts were hard, and tiring cos everything on the apparatus swings once you grasp it and if you see the ropes attached to the tire, doesn’t take much from a person to make it all difficult on top of being very still as can be so you don’t make the tire wobble while maneuvering up and on to it. Your arms get tired.

Now don’t get me started on how much I love fall again. Fall, farmer’s markets and everyone in their finest vintage sweater sets and H&M babies, this season was made for walking around and sampling tomatoes from eccentrics. I have pages of photos and commentary to get to after a doggily walkily on this fine Sunday Funday. As you were.

Hey dorks who read the internet on Saturday

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I guess I’ll update today, fuh-ine.

I climbed a 130 foot tall thing today amidst a hangover. That’s me hitting the base. I tried to quit three times from exhaustion, not fear. Ok ok the publicity stunt is over. Cue more families gathering at the bottom to watch. Haha. In my head I was thinking of Fear Factor and Survivor. I make fun of weaklings on those shows all the time who can’t push themselves through challenges so this was an opportunity to see how difficult it really is. And, it is. I am not as in shape as I once was, yeah I’m slim but I don’t train anymore “professionally”. I just run and dance and do weights on my own and that seems to be enough for now.

The rocky sway of the ropes and ladders combined with my rag doll balance totally synched up. I am not a pussy, so never forget that. This was a moment for Raymitheminx TV. My spotter Claire was amazing, everyone was so friendly. Too bad I am suspicious of friendliness ahaha. Thanks Outward Bound Canada. Can I join your organization? I’m not sure I can climb stuff like, everyday though. Maybe just every other day. Oh yeah I was like what is with you people, the ground just isn’t enough? They liked me.

Everyone liked my docs and attitude. They wouldn’t let me quit when I tried to pack it in. My arms were blown out by the time I reached the top. There are reflective moments of pause along your journey upward when you are like, I am completely insane, everybody is watching, my colleague is photographing, they know I can do this so why do I have to keep doing this how do I jimmy up that tire, more ropes next time you design this please. It’s a full body work out, all my strength is in my legs but luckily I am agile and have mega-fitness know-how thanks to TMR so I knew how not to over-exert myself, take a deep breath between transferring weight from legs to arms, legs to arms, legs to arms pulling myself up like a monkey or mario up a ladder during a battle level.

Remove your rings. I even removed my bra. I am way scrappier without that thing on. Next time I will need gloves so my hands won’t be so sore or cold.

I’ve wall climbed and zip-lined before so I knew that I would not die or fall and these guys would bust their asses keeping me safe so there is no reason to be a-feared at all. Looking down at others gathering to watch who all have scared looks on their faces is a good feeling of accomplishment. Full on emasculating rounds of Dads in one fell swoop. And then I fell. Lols no I didn’t I just get punnier with age. Better too, like wine.

That one guy recognized me from Parkdale somewhere. It’s neat seeing people you see on the street and know absolutely nothing about really other than they get coffee from Cherry Bomb or, they have a friend with Buddy Holly glasses at Parts ‘n Labour and then you bump into them at your own gig and it’s like, hey, wait a minute What’s going on here! You drink coffee! I figured it out. People are stupid like that.

I look like I am going spelunking. Not after that friggin’ Descent movie, thanks a lot and you couldn’t think of a better word than spelunking?

They care so much at Brickworks it’s a really very special place. These pipes are rivers/water table flowing through Southern Ontario up on that wall, it is gigantic and impressive. I sent Rob last year in my stead to the picnic I will be attending this year. I am a year behind in foodie world thanks to not going last year. I was working on my book up in the boonies at the time. Tyler you should get a ticket to this event.

This picture blows but that’s the place. You see it from that DVP place that’s all confusing and scary and extreme off ramps going this way and that. They made bricks here in case you didn’t get it. Arlene Stein (she’s a VBD)(very big deal) gave me a tour today and told me all about it. I like her. She’s hot and geeky and cares about stuff for real not just for pretend like some of us half of the time, at times. Haha my new thing is triple-double negatives and WHOOSH! Where did I go?

I have to learn how to pose with a slimmer face, lots is going on? The helmet and adrenaline sweat made my hair go funny. I bet that guy in front of me has an Austin or something. I had a grilled cheese and onion sandwich and became 25% more likeable afterward. I can go on fumes but my personality sure can’t.

Note to self: I am not a Vet and Cats don’t like wearing outfits in the form of band aids adhered to their fur, but to be fair I added a cotton pad for gauze. Teacher performed the in-grown nail extraction surgery. Still taking her to the vet. I am gunning for Lady Garbage being submitted as her name so that I can have an antibiotic bottle with LADY GARBAGE printed on it. Seeing animal names on pill labels is hilarious. MR. JINGLES cat medicine (whatever it’s called) or Robert Pommer (for a pomeranian Addicted to love fan/owner ahaha).

This looked pretty to me yesterday. My nail polish removing ritual.

I dunno if I posted this particular one yet. I take several.

My brother and Linda came by last night to see the game and then party at ours. I sent him a picture of my little climbing adventure and he was like !!!!!!!!!!!!! He has a heights phobia. When I left this morning he was here still so it must have been funny an hour later getting a photo text of my ridiculous adventures, it was. That’s why I did it ahaha no other reason than spite. We had a fight about how when I punched him in the head that one time it never even hurt. It’s my favourite story to tell and he insists it didn’t hurt. I am having trouble accepting this. My left hook hurt for DAYS.

Did not at all appreciate the irony of Hello Kitty band aids. Well maybe this is why you de-claw the bastards. OMG don’t start PETA. MMmmm Peta chips.

Happy Saturday!