Meet The Kerouacs! Like the Addams Family. I get to be Wednesday!

Sometimes this whole blogging thing gets a lil cray-zay and you gotta press send halfway through and pull a little “be right back.” Don’t think anyone’s complaining though, will there be a test after this? You never know.

PART I: AUNTIE RAYMBO BRIGHT and FAMILY TAKE YOGURTY’S in case you missed it, catch up now.

I am a huge escapist, I have a successful blog because of this, like, what are you supposed to be doing right now, certainly not reading my blog but here we are so lets do what we do best and dream of rainbow candy lava rivers on piles of peanut butter flavour calorie reduced yogurt and have an eating contest, good?

HAHA what if that was peanut butter yogurt with peanut butter chips. Your food is redundant and so are you. Sorry teacher!

Shall I drag the family dysfunction out and in to this post like you really really want?

I just lol’d like Nelson from the Simpsons and Buddy Holly is back from the dead.

How many Little Raymis does it take to fill a Yogurty’s?

About that whole cray-zay thing I mentioned up top, in the last 24 hours it’s like everyone ran out of their meds cos I have been getting hardcore trolled. One thing in particular was an accusation that I essentially, am not real. What? I think of all the bloggers I’m the only one who has been showing their entire family, life, breakups, FOR REAL for ELEVEN YEARS. Where is the fake? My friend said there is something odd about these nay sayers preferring the black hair girl miserable and lonely waiting for her bf to come every day, there is something sinister about that for sure.

This is above and beyond a social experiment at this point. We didn’t invent goofy wacky scenarios for wont of a blog gimmick and spiderweb of facebook and twitter personas, this is my family and our real life. We are extreme, which the entertainment foundation is built upon.

And there is a lot of love. If a family isn’t getting along then they don’t hang and then there isn’t “material” or content, rather. We do, so there is. Where is the fake part, again? Ps. my brother and his friends will beat you up! We’re on the defence and have a reason for it. REVENGE. One day when I finally go to the police with a massive file folder stacked with year’s worth of harassment, identity theft, stalking, torment, abuse, slander, the cop will be like why didn’t you come sooner. Uh, I was busy. Honestly when this month is over I am taking a break.

Here is a song about October, called, October.

I bought my mother these in Quebec City. FOR REAL!

Uncle Mike wears ridiculous garb. Always has, and doesn’t give a care. Any hobby he engages in he takes it to the extreme. His top five Jeopardy Categories would be: Metal detecting in the tropics, Setting off more fireworks than the fourth of July, which splash pants to wear with which designer fugly sneakers, his boat and as a bonus traveling annually to each stanley cup winning’s city to sell his mint condition collectable hockey cards. In short, extreme. Like the glasses.

I like your shirt mom.

B- on the faux waves.

Then Sylvia and her little fashionista daughter arrive.

She’s so shy and sweet.

A mini Sylvia. I bet they share clothes. It shows hehehh.

Go on then love.

I am so jealous of that hair.

Something is always goin’ down with this lot.

Her tub was layered and no empty pockets. Hilarious. Her mom said she eats and eats and eats and doesn’t stop. I can relate.

I LOVE this photo. The chocolate action shot! A closer look whaaaat! O_O I can stop time.

Hey dude here we go again.

THIS SUNSET BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOGURTY’S!

Enjoy it while it lasts before the next gathering is in a pub.

That’s my girl :).

Mystery camera has one setting only. The lcd smashed months ago. If I have great shots it’s cos I am a good photographer, it’s all about the aim and the finger crossing.

See my feather mustache? Who hates that word?

The rubber grip on these ridiculous glasses was tearing at my precious hair.

It feels like being in a spaceship in there. Me likey.

Mary Lynn looks pumped.

I look like a grasshopper.

When Linda and I went to get booze next door (Yogurty’s bonus, it’s in the appleby mall parking lot beside the LCBO 5010 Pinedale Avenue) they all got seconds.

Realness? You want some real, people? This is a picture of me and teacher fighting and the pressure I sometimes feel from this blog. You try managing a zoo of a family and being heard over all the noise, yes it’s about fun and games but HELP ME take pictures please, I have specific &^%$# to cover. Don’t give me attitude just do as you’re told and eat your free yogurt. How many fights do we get in to a day? Oh, how many stars are there in the sky? Lol.

Now that you’re all hopped up on sugar, it’s show time kids.

Now what did I have at 13 to hang out in other than a Burger King where people could still smoke inside. Actually, that was pretty amazing once I started smoking not many years later much to the chagrin of my mother, I hid it well. I’ve been a non-smoker for 6 years now?

Ok here comes Jackie O.

Back-lit babes.

Haha mom that asteroid star is exploding out of your head.

Now my brother will know which book on her shelf to snoop in, or I bet she’ll take it to school then get in trouble.

Seconds. Unbelievable. When Tracey isn’t paying she gets hungrier lol.

Pigs. Love them. Bet none of them were worrying about their lil waistlines like ol aunt Raymbo.

You’re welcome for the amazing family meet-up idea. It’s brilliant. Stuff face with yogurt and bail when they start irritating you then go off to do your own thing. No awkward couch family room sittings, just pure dessert. Run out of stuff to talk about or every topic they bring up is exhausticating? Talk about your YOGURT! My brother and I bullied mom, what’s a matter, why are you eating two? Are you on your period? hahah. Actually I’d say our family is more like the Osbournes.

Notice how kelly is all long haired blonde and thin now too. Some guy screamed BROOKE HOGAN! Out at me while I was in Miami beach and now I get hits for “brooke hogan flip flops” (see below photo) all the time haha. I don’t think our family could be destroyed like Hulk Hogan’s was by reality tv as our family is already destroyed (j/k) so there’s no way a hogan fall out could break it, every scandal that could happen, has and is happening.

Those are tube flops. Surf sandals. Cawabunga!

That was a great trip.

Full post here back to Yogureality now.

I see modelling in your future.

She already has done some modelling. Commercial stuff (Tyra voice).

No visit is complete without the photo wall portrait. There’s another nice one on the way out but everyone had had enough at that point. No family outing is complete if it doesn’t end in yelling and stalking off in separate cars bahaha.

My mom’s shots now.

How wonderfully grotesque.

Daddy’s little girl!

TGIF!

To the salon!

THE NOTABLE AWARDS ARE HERE! and Noms close tonight at 11:59pm EST so go nuts. They’re open to any young professionals across the following categories, something for everyone:

Architecture & Real Estate, Best Personal Brand, Community Impact (Medical and Not-for-profit), Culture Curators (Literature, Fashion, Design, Arts), Entrepreneurs, Finance, Future Builders (Teaching and Human Resources), Internet Start-up and Technology, Law, Lifestyle (Hospitality, Cuisine, Travel), Media and Communications, Social Media, Sports and Entertainment AND **Young Professional of the Year**

Re: Nominations — no reason to be shy to nominate yourself, it’s completely confidential and once finalists are announced the public won’t know who was nominated vs who nominated themselves ;).

The big Notable Awards celebration (read: PARTY), hosted by Melissa Grelo from CP24 is on Nov 10 at Andrew Richard Designs: GET YOUR TICKET!

WHAT TO EXPECT at the Notable Awards:

Open bar (check!)

Tequila Tasting courtesy of Tequila Tromba (I LOVE THIS TEQUILA!)

Complimentary Molson M (micro-brewed)

Hors Deurves (YUM)

Live DJ

Keynote by ING Direct’s CEO Peter Aceto (absolutely notable)

Keynote by Paul Etherington Co-Founder and Chairman of motionball and Partner at Etherington Generations Inc.

Ample photo opps

Tons of networking opportunities with innovative, like-minded, YP’s (bring business cards)

AND … to meet the 13 Award winners (good luck!)

What: The Notable Awards driven by Lexus

Where: Andrew Richard Designs, 571 Adelaide Street East

When: Thursday, November 10th, 2011, Cocktails start at 8pm

Why: To celebrate and raise a glass to the first ever winners of the Notable Awards.

Attire: YP Chic

*This is the FIRST EVER awards for young Canadian professionals.* FIRST!

Since Notable’s inception, we have been profiling Canada’s top up-and-coming and established young professionals,” says Julian Brass, founder of Notable.ca. “Through the Notable Awards, we hope to recognize young professionals who best demonstrate what it means to be truly notable.”

My niece is now 13 years old. Do you know what that means? In three years she will probably be running away so I better have my act together by then baha KIDDING! Ok Lets have a birthday party, my 13th birthday party sucked so this was like throwing the party I never got.

The Appleby Yogurty’s location has just popped up. They’re spreading, dudes!

Party favours. Stretching out the Indian summer vibe, tiki it to a whole new level.

They all told me Hailey loved this experience and was happy, was she surprised though? This was a last minute orchestration (but a long time plan regardless) and I though it would be neat when my brother was passing her off to her Nana we’d surprise her at Yogurty’s with some friends and birthday gifts. COOL AUNT MUCH!

Pieces of six eight (i have memory dyslexia) replica coins I bought for Hailey in Quebec city. Look at all her rings, oh brother. She has way better style than I did at 13, I was greasy grunge and had to scrounge for clothes unlike how we just rain it all down on her.

I threw ‘em in that leather fake-out medieval spell book also purchased from the same store. I bought my head wreathe there too and I am so going back to Q city in the spring.

It was so hard to decide, this has a cool skull on it, skulls are cool, play it safe and go for that. Kids have high cool standards, to your face they’re all yeah thanks and behind your back, “pfft.” My brother and I get schooled by her all the time and we go O_O and then break into laughter. Payback time.

I bought her that in San Diego from the Hard Rock hotel where I stayed, when my buddy Sarah left I was like, now what? Ooh shopping. Also bought my dad a Lennon shirt. This I wanted for myself but felt greedy enough from the jewelry I bought at So Good earlier that afternoon. Doesn’t in look like the Heart they give Tin Man at the Emerald City? Peace symbols too and mini guitar pics. MY grandfolks brought us Hard Rock swag all the time from their travels, I wanted to follow suit with tradition.

Can’t even see where it is, or it’s not on yet? That hippie leaf bracelet was mine too. Hailey has the rep at school of “girl with lots of bracelets on” she said. Ha nice.

Wicked yo!

I uploaded 122 photos. I am trying to skim it down but the longer I get to post the more avoiding of other things I don’t want to do I can do. Hehheh.

I could visit again and again and my Yogurty’s experience will never be the same and I like that, I dig variety muchos. I started making up a funny Yogurty’s are like snowflakes, no two are alike joke but then it got profoundly cheesy so I stopped. You can figure it out on your own I am sure.

Mary Lyne came along for the ambush. She is family too, I held her in my hands when she was a little baby, her dad and my dad have been bros for over forty years. Wild right, live around the corner from one another and Bob is to Duncan what Paul is to John Lennon, they play in Dr. Robert together (they’re gonna love that bahaha). Do you like my cast of characters? Ps. Mary Lynne is hardcore into Blur too, guess why? She calls me Bluren, thanks for that dad haha.

I threw those shades in to Hailey’s prezzie bag, I think Steph gave them to me? This loot bag was entertaining to watch open as I had forgotten half the stuff inside, I didn’t pre-photograph anything in case someone snooped on my blog.

Lookin’ good brah. That’s Shawn’s Johnny Cash outfit.

I love lamp.

Of course I had to get her this too. (Rodeo Drive voice lol). I wore my first boyfriend’s guitar pic necklace all the time, Hailey’s look is part hippie, the necklace is soft suede, the pic is polished wood. Hard Rock has quality merch. I stopped myself from charging this to the room. Too greedy haha. Gifts when given should always be purchased by the gifter otherwise it isn’t true or fair. I have rules.

She must take forever getting ready.

I must have been having a mental time out moment hahaha.

My third time visiting and I only realized after the fact the middle twist valve. MEGA!

Kids can eat a lot of crap. They all had seconds! WHAT! I think when someone else is treating all of a sudden you get hungrier.

As always I love the decor.

It’s fascinating to see everyone’s topping selections much like a conveyor belt ogling in the check out line. Mary Lynn layered hers with a fistful of cheesecake cubes. My uncle put marshmallows on his. RIDICULOUS! FUN! LIFE!

I chose this. Mixed it with chocolate fudge which made it taste like fig newton. I do not like fig newtons AT ALL. baha.

So far my favourite is the crispy wafer flavoured yogurt.

Sorry was just cruising the nutrition and saw their adorable buttons page. Can the Yogurtys people please redesign my blog please. PLEASE. (please).

It was madness, capturing it all while choosing my own trying to get everybody’s turn at bat. I was a little flustered.

And I am a wizard on the side did you know that? Oh god who is that behind me?

And my uncle Mike. he is an eccentric millionaire. Look at the website for one of his businesses. Next summer we are overtaking his boat for a day with the Juicebox kids, they won a trip at my 10 year blogiversary party.

MMMMMmmmmm.

Keepin’ it neapolitan. Nice necklaces.

Can you guess whose is whose? I’m quad 2.

We took over. When I arrived I said to the manager, I have $100 to spend and we’ll be taking pictures, head’s up. She said let me clean up first. It was already spotless. Super nice staff!

I needed rainbow sprinkles for aesthetic purposes and the closest they had was nerds. When in Rome.

No ide who this belongs to. We got everyone covered before Sylvia and Rachel arrived at just over $50 ($51.36) and before they had seconds. It was like a reality show budget challenge. I gave the remainder on one of the cards to my Nana and Papa. Geezers like their ice creams I mean Yogurts. Can’t tell the difference here which is the point.

I told everyone not to fill up before this.

My uncle’s pre-sauce addition. Rachel was scarfing hers before they could weigh it ahah but let it go seeing as we ordered so many. VIP is the place to be :).

Oh I betthat was delicious. JEALOUS. JEALICIOUS! Gahahha.

This is probably going to have to be a two-parter, I know lame right but I have a pizza on the way and functions to get to so this blog will be planet Yogurty’s for the next 24 hours. I’ll add a bit more while I gorge.

That’s me mum’s.

WUhoo! Pizza attack time.