Meet the bunker. My dad’s house has like eighteen basements.

Whatever it is I’m saying I’m sure you deserved it.

We made a friend in the parking lot and turns out he was going to our dad’s gig and by friend I mean weird loner guy with earphones on and OCD.

Party in the vestibule.

GATE KEEPER.

My brother looks like Charlie Sheen. You know that’s the costume of the year?

I am in the middle of a fight with my mom right now cos she sent me a comment she received from one of my trolls and it’s triggered a discussion. If you can’t handle the internet association with me then don’t step all over my domain. How can you tell me to ignore the haters when you forward one right at me? They haunt every avenue and alley that I do on the webs. Have we not learned anything? These cretins will stop at nothing to bring me down and I am not letting them. The more I start to feel better and look better they all come out, it’s so gross! And for ELEVEN YEARS NOW (this November) like dudes, you’ve always been older and less relevant than me, and what point do you expect to break me? You can email my clients as false customers and make libel cases for me but you will never stop me. Like, I am not half as arrogant as I have grounds to be based on how hard I work, all that I have accomplished, how I keep my looks polished and ahead of the trends. I can’t even toot my own horn without 40 losers attacking me, my entire family, lifestyle, past, future, age, it is disgusting. Fascinating. How come these people can’t find other shit to do? Also, why can’t they figure out that they catch more bees with honey? Did I ever say I would reject them or be mean to them? If they are so addicted to me that they can’t take it why do they let me get to them? What did I do to them exactly? Oh a topless photo in a mirror doing push-ups? And?

But don’t worry cos I am not anywhere near to my “goal” yet and the fight for it is tiresome, gruelling at best, I work very hard to keep my life interesting and when I have hopes and aspirations, instead of whining and complaining and wishing, I get proactive and put shit in motion to get those wishes granted.

My mom pissed me off cos she emailed me first thing when she gets up her tri-annual email about drinking too much that ALWAYS comes in following a family get-together, it always pisses me off, makes me snap, makes me OCD and reply with 56 caps lock explosion responses. Now I am only airing this laundry cos she seems intent on pissing me off until the day I die and so must understand that there are consequences to annoying actions. Ps. I had less than two glasses of wine on Thanksgiving so WTF. I don’t enjoy drinking, it is boring and I don’t even get wasted anymore. It just goes along with eating, which is a life indulgent for me that is equal parts business and pleasure.

I live in a fishbowl. Everyone watches me, considering half of them “hate” or have “opinions” about me, there is definitely chatter. You sense it and it makes you kind of hate everyone back, you expect this constant bullshit. When people are drawn to you, you have this extra kind of responsibility to be “on” so basically I have been performing my entire life.

And so as usual, nana triggered all of this. She said she didn’t want me to leave because she thinks I drink too much. THINKS? Um I have a fucking event to go to, concert of the year, PORTISHEAD no offence you guys (WHO ARE IN YOUR EIGHTIES!)(I am still in my twenties) but I got shit to do and a place to be and trying to bring me down about it by way of alcoholism is pathetic. So her email gets me going about that to start with to which I reply: F- YOU because I am not giving in this time and of course, Tracey unsatisfied by that pulls out her ammo, a “message from troll” comment about me instead.

Raymi has an empty soul. She looks worn & haggard from drinking and trying so hard to be physically attractive. You can see it on her face, she is worn….an empty soul. You have failed as a mother to push superficiality. Empty souls.

I don’t know what to say anymore. There is so much sexism rampant on the internet, agist remarks abound, empty vessels with no family connection or things of merit blabbity blah. As much as my mom pisses me off (TO NO END!) she has not failed as a mother. I am extremely proud of her, and love her dearly. She is a survivor.

I am over it now. For now. I sent her a photo of me in that vestibule and said DOES THIS LOOK HAGGARD TO YOU!? So livid. And last week I was “fat”. I have never been in such amazing shape in years. Yes I look tired sometimes, but I’m a Kerouac, boozing and living is in my blood and so are eye bags. I will probably get plastic surgery on them at some point. This is my life, one blog post at a time. If you can’t fucking take it then fuck off.

He doesn’t even golf anymore. Nike golf shit, expensive glove. HAhaa.

Name that window.

Ha what a bitch.

And still.

Is it a sign of aging if you like a good stroll? Dogs are good for that.

I love big ol enchanted trees.

Ahh why am I inside right now I dunno I’m an idiot I’m addicted to blogging I’ll go for a walk in an hour the good weather isn’t going anywhere, tomorrow it’ll be even nicer. Hurrah!

Virgin suicides Sofia Coppola moment.

Dad’s band killed it last night. I sang a couple songs. One is up now I’m going to check it and add it in a minute to this post.

I am into this.

All the bikes are out this time of year with avengeance.

The home stretch after our big long walk/run. A loser commented that I am getting fat again. Thanks buddy you helped me lose 3lbs by watching my diet this weekend :). But today is Thanksgiving dinner so we’ll see how much skin I stuff into my face.

We don’t need no stinking badges.

Dancing to my dad’s band. Fun times.

I forgot my dr. blobbert shirt. We made do.

I wore my penis shoes. Like that guy is a penis. You wouldn’t understand, maybe if you have a brother and talk like disgusting cretins. I was going to stick my mary jane heels in my dad’s gear but thought whatever I’ll be gong-showed plus we walked. Tom York wears track shoes with hipster jeans in the just video, that’s when I knew irony was fashionable.

Ooh I want one of those crazy german motorcycle helmets. Or the one that bad guys wear in GI JOE.

I blasted by these two on Queen holding up my jean shorts (so fat they fall off/no belt) with the dog, AA tube socks, and he goes YOO check this girl out. I was like, they are cool and likely connected I def gotta go back and give him my card. Second chance happened on Dundas, I yelled across the street as we waved to one another, no YOU come here. He took my picture on film. I said I heard what he said. You should challenge yourself to talk to at least 3 strangers a week, the city is too isolating and timid. Forget his name but was spinning at Roosevelt wanted me to come by. I said I partied a billion times a week so, maybe not but keep in touch.

I see these two and think what would raymi’s mother do? First I asked their ages in case they were 13. Not twins! But the blue one has a twin. Bizarre right? Diane Arbus eat your heart out.

Ahhhh dreamy lil apple.

It’s even hotter out there today right now I am speed typing now to get out there before slipping in to my ridiculous ball gown to impress nana at thanksgiving dinner hahahah. I dressed up for her in the hospital once so she wouldn’t say something negative – the prettier i look the more her manchester powers are defenceless against my glamourous smiling facade and golden hair ahhaa. Anyway she’s like Lauren are you going to a party? I was dressed like a snow fairy, I said no nana this is all for you, as I wheeled her around the hospital near Christmas eve winking and flirting with all the doctors. When I got home I slipped into my rags and melted like a dirtbag in to the couch by the fire ahh while sugar plum fairies danced in my head. Also it is my Papa’s 83rd birthday today. What? What do I get him?

I don’t care what you think or say, this does nothing but delight me this gorgeous weather, it is fantastic and a god send. This is the last time I am going to say this, g’wan be a long ass winter.

See Pluto growing on my forehead? I just made us all bacon and eggs and I feel like a new universe is being created in blemishes all over my face ugh. i only had a teeny bit of bacon. I always feel gross when I eat it. Yeah you crave it and it’s delicious but if you restrict every so often your day is all the better for it. Like, my dad and teacher are napping right now and who is the one up?

Ha ok there Hollywood.

We played in the school park field with Stella. Never go down this street. I could have been burning out in that field all summer long what?

Ew sick look at my runs too much leg, so skinny, funny. I’m thrilled!

Uhh fido dido much. I want to lift weights right now.

Showing a new dance move I invented that looks stupid apparently. Not when three hot girls in witch hats do it simultaneously!

Yes, some good and quality time was spent with Stella.

That sun, she was a blazin’.

I look like a potato. I don’t even know why I am showing you this.

What’s up pops.

GOBBLE GOBBLE YO!

TODAY RULES. Off to see my niece and surprise her! Later dewds.