Our new play is going to be a hit it’s called Goldilocks got her gay dad a bear.
I will have to sew my red button back on this dress.
I am pissy right now cos I’ve yet to master this keyboard it’s all in outerspace symbols and doesn’t do the memorized macbook commands I keep punching in. I know it just takes a bit of time but I don’t have any of that!! I slept in after a nightmare about my mother dying and it was very emotional and then I turned into a monster and made us clean fight clean fight fight clean. Meanwhile I am supposed to be chained to this laptop THAT I CANNOT FUCKING TYPE ON getting my schedule sorted, pr emails, blog, same-old. Blogging ain’t always easy and yes I’m complaining I should have been a plumber.
Ha ha exactly fully agree Sar-ugh. This is a great picture though.
The gingerbreadhouse is a lovely cozy Christmas den of wonder if I could do wall-to-wall white lush carpeting or fur, I would.
But the third porridge was just right. Like I’ma bust in to someone’s house and eat porridge.
Sarah was like I remember when you bought this dress! Funny.
Everyone thinks this guy is a big comedian now haha (my clothes, we dressed him, yes I am a giant baby) I bet that dress would be stunning on you in Jamaica. I bought it in Burlington during boxing week clearance, it’s really hard to buy a summer dress in the winter, it’s like, wicked selfish I think. I am also not one with the ability to plan my life so far in advance. I’m always like, by summer I’ll be a millionaire so nothing will matter then I’ll have 8 blue maxi dresses.
Teach said now I will know for sure of my friends/colleagues/family who reads your blog after these pictures cos they can’t not say something. I know everyone reads it because NO ONE wants to talk to me for days afterward. Everyone always hates someone or something that I do/blog. It’s a new year lets all get along and just agree with every decision I make.
We had good conceptual photo ideas and follow-through.
Close the fucking curtain what are you trying to blind me! ahha.
Yes, it just keeps going.
You look like a choir angel boy/girl.
Oh my god haha I gave those shades to sammy for his trip to Jamaica. Irie. Teacher, baby, you look gorgeous in that dress. Everyone thiefed each other’s costume ideas.
Not trying to sneak away now are ya?
Ok time to pretend in a picture that we are cleaning this all up now.
I should start wearing that more often with a beret and scoff at people in coffee shops.
CUTE!
I have run out of words.
What would your burlesque name be?
One of the winning outfits for sure.
It’s nice when a doll comes over to play with you.
Always get some tricep extensions in if you can manage it.
Look like I am fading here finally, Sarah peaced out soon after this and Sammy was nodding off a little so we sent him away too.
Nope not done yet.
Are you having a nice time at my after party? Yes it is my dream come true.
I never get to get in on the discussions about my ass, I get to overhear them as I pretend to be busying myself with something as I eavesdrop in on the girls gushing all jeals. One of Oprah’s favourite things!
Earlier that evening the three seconds that I danced lol.
No wonder I lose everything and am such a giant loser, purse is always spilling open I’ll be better this year I swear! Next post will be leftovers from some other post or other. Dating a teacher during xmas break requires focus and drive, 2 weeks of playing adult house pretty much. C’est la vie.
Dez is a guy that Raymimposter roped in, remember that? Thanks to her I am getting custom-designed Raymbo Brite shoes. Burn on that bitch much? Yes, very much so. Bet she is reading right meow, hi loser!
Dez made a pair of shoes for MICHEAL BUBLE and delivered them to him on Saturday Night Live! Here is what he said about his experience there I am so jealous. Dez is in his watershed moment of career success I am very happy for the guy, he’s where I wanna be, got mad haters from jealous dork artists and the like, can relate. One day we will hang and get obliterated but for now we work our asses off aiming for the almighty dream. I think attentding the SNL after party means you’ve made it. Remember, you are who you hang out with so surround yourself with the best as much as is possible.
SNL was amazing. Pretty much a bucket list thing I got to do and went to after party and got high-five drunk, slammed a shooter with JimmyF, and basically O . O ‘ed slash perv stared at about a million beautiful women. Totally cool to see live and got to check out bunch of sets at 30Rock.
Brb with tickle trunk dress-up NYE party pics! I’m switching over to my new laptop now, goodbye old friend macbook pro I overheated you one too many times.
Hi! I should get those for my dad for suicidal scrabble games.
Sick guy. What a genius.
Here is another celeb pair. Done for heavy metal band Anvil and their rock documentary ANVIL:The Story of Anvil.
Signed by the band as well on the tongue if you look close.
Lauren and I could have a nice show together, Loren and Luhren (and for the ten billionth fucking time that is how you say my name and why I invented Raymi and it is confusing to be around Laurens cos I think they’re calling my name because some REFUSE to pronounce my name properly, it’s been my name since playschool birth get it right or get a spear through the face!) I’ll scan this for you kay. You have the other one which is ten times worse than this right hahah.
Photobooth at the Drake is better now.
Even though she’s the retarded friend, we accept Lauren Onizz. I like goofy girls. Cos when I do stupid shit they’re the first to nod their heads and go I understand. When we all went to wakestock together do you know how many times we’d leave something on the top of Lauren’s car and then drive away, I win for doing that the most, my purse, a pop, a salad, haha.
I was going to wear a sparkle dress but everyone told me not to so now I will never be able to wear it unless I get hired for a Caesar’s palace housewife shoot. I didn’t want to copy Casie or get stared at all night or make up in my head that I was being stared at all night which is dumb because I live to be stared at.
Me and Kate and Casie knows who she is, her cousin? Raymi stoo-pid forgetful and I don’t listen either. All good things!
Opened the middle one first for ourselves cos it’s least posh, wanted to show off with the cava, which we opened and can’t remember if anyone else saw or cared and then by the third who knows the fuck what was going on HAPPY NEW YEAR DONE RIGHT!
Thank you Kate for hooking us up with the cheapo tix. I’m glad we went out, I can’t party with myself and the tree in the living room and call it a party when I do it everyday.
All the boyfriends fell in love with each other man and we got to hear HEY MAN I LOVE THIS GUY ten thousand times yes you’re welcome we know thank god and we can tell the bromance is blossoming.
Felt a lot of pressure to turn out a hot outfit. Didn’t. I was feeling too much party stressed.
WTF is this beauty and the beast? I want to watch cartoons all day long I wonder if I could turn that in to some sort of job.
It’s hard to get group portraits with everyone but we seemed to have managed to do it, and some of us have zero recollection of this even being taken.
Teach doesn’t remember any of these, where is this he asked? The Drake. Who’s hotel room? Oh some guy with vampire sunglasses on. Lauren and I stole his girlfriend for a cruise of the Sky yard for a bit leaving the boys up to play in the room.
Every hotel room needs stolen balloons.
I think she made it herself?
I was shy at this point so I couldn’t get a picture with the dragons, I went all disney in my head like politely waiting for my turn instead of the hipster cluster mob encircling them. One day I will ride a dragon.
Amazing dress this amazon was wearing. I wore flats so no I am not a midget. I wanted to be able to have control of my feet all night so I kept it safe and Sally Jessie Raphael.
That girl is just asking for a melon squeeze. All girls will be lesbians one day and that will be the time of Raymi!
I’m so special.
Teacher is in a black out here.
And here.
Here too.
I should have known by how we were squabbling and I couldn’t get through to him. Meh. No one was hurt. I was just super fucking annoyed. I need to lighten up and worry about myself more, new resolution is I am going to stop caring about everyone around me (impossible). Also, Teacher’s iphone is broken, won’t turn on, probably happened in his black out probably rested it in a pile of water at the drake maybe. Poor baby.
Lauren O has the longest fingers here. We should buy her an award. A finger.
Should have worn my white fur jacket with the bow but again I was in the mood for casual. Not that I am competitive or anything.
Dim Sum party was fun, we got the VIPLEASE treatment from the Mansion boys and our boyfriends had to stay on the other side of the rope for awhile hahaha. Thanks be to blog and know your place. Mansion (Conrad?) was like those three blonds let them in, no wristbands necessary, remember this face. So self-entitled. Earned.
We are good at taking selfie pics but when there is three of us too many arms in the way and shadows. Need to hire more blog slaves.
A lot of these are Lauren’s cos she was the most operating functioning sober person and dragons were dancing around us aaaaah.
Two people in there? Or one guy with really long arms or sticks I dunno.
Bottle and cans of beer service in our area, we brought the dudes drinks and then when all the vultures were let in the booze was drank. People dancing on tables and all talking nonsense and getting along, very nice. I am not afraid of Toronto anymore, well I never was but you know, people don’t go out to clubs cos they’re insecure or nervous, you just gotta do it and see that the majority is out to have fun and hug and scream in to stranger’s faces I LOVE YOU MANS. Being around young people helps keep you look and dressing young, oh I see this is what they’re doing, short skirts? Groovy.
My nose is so big it captured all of the red light. Lauren’s outfit was awesome. I was almost going to wear my new black corset too but I chickened out.
I dressed up to go to the supermarket, it’s all about the face though I feel and everyone said I looked pretty and that’s all that counts. This dress of hers is very Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Bony cat. C’ept she has bigger bewbs. Score.
Wheee. First time seeing what the Drake hotel rooms look like. You get extra permission to trainwreck through the building with a hotel key.
We met this girl’s friend who was a bit wasted downstairs and hung out by the fire, bumped into Carly’s sister Kristin and everything was running smoothly on the sky yard typical drake shenans.
I made a new friend. He bought me a drink and said I do not buy drinks for women who aren’t going to fuck me but for you I will make an exception because I had made such an impression. I think I weaselled a shot out of him for Lauren I can’t remember. I don’t know his name he was nice but there are a lot of man cougar rocker eccentric types at the drake for you single cats out there.
We were so close to making it out of there with our blankets, Lauren made it out further didn’t try very hard to obscure them, the security guy was like I’m gonna need my blankets back and I gave puppy dog, no, puss in boots eyes and it ALMOST worked.
On our way back to Santa’s village.
Sparkle stars everywhere.
I figured a way to beat the competition.
Why do I pose like I’m on a soap opera? Gaydorable and the restless. Lauren always looks good and Lauren does too lol.
Back to more stupidity another time. Did you guys lose your minds that I didn’t blog yesterday? Don’t answer all at once now. We ended up at our place and I came downstairs with a boulder-sized bundle of tickle trunk costumes and dresses and we had a drag queen party and took 400 mystery blackmail camera photos I will have to see what I can and can’t post, if it were up to me, EVERYTHANG. Will have to ask Casie and Sarah what they feel comfortable being exploited with and how far, the dudes I could care less what their feelings are. GIRLS RULE LE BLOG.Sarahwho we all have a crush on now btw, has been reading my blog for years and knows everything about me, super specific shit I have long forgotten, it was mind-blowing to be blown by her infinite Raymi wisdom one day there’ll be a quiz game on Raymi the Minx to test the knowledge and memory of all Little Raymis out there, questions like WHAT YEAR DID RAYMI FIRST TRY PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS? How many boyfriends has Raymi had? When did Raymi’s mother start commenting on rtm.com, What is Raymi’s middle name? (It’s Krista).
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my burger king stacker I hope it goes right to my tits.
Happy New Year. Payce!
Tell me what you did last night I mean two nights ago we missed a day over here haha.
(Casie I need your pics)(Still from both times haha).
Dunno why it cut off my heartfelt well wishes too bad but anyway it still stands, all the best, have a great night, be safe, have fun blabbity blah and see you soon!
They pour in their seasoning then drizzle oil on to your own personal side plate for bread. Italian classic style service, dripping with manners. I am treating Lois and mum here. Then to Wills Landing where lots of yupsters go why didn’t I think of this sooner and if they get blasted can crash at my place.
Lois got moms and me matching hats. Faux fur but real seeming and soft. Got checked out like bananas in metro yesterday and it cloaks your dark eyebags I was like a spectre.
Duck face mom.
Spice girls.
Mesmerized by my fab nail beds is likely why I lost the Zara card (at Sephora) I know the universe is tired of hearing about it. Can some guy who reads this get my mom a $100 Gift Card for Zara? Doesn’t hurt to try! I got my mom famous for Christmas (you will see very soon) so I think I have done enough this year.
This post will have two major booze haul purchase snapshots. It’s not my fault xmas and NYE are five days apart. Oyster bay is not cheap and now it’s in sparkling!
Highly entertaining girls beside us like Bridget Jones Diary I loved it, Christmas eve-eve dinner (that’s meant for your good friend or boyfriend) and they were getting loaded and trashing on everyone, namely ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend it was a bit much (SO MUCH) sometimes I get shell shocked from too much stimulation and, well, blogging, that I need to sit in silence or have no more bullshit but we turned our side of the seat in to a hallmark photoshoot and were buzzin’ off the christmas cozy atmosphere of the dark sunk-in cavern of bar vespa with our own personal flat screen playing the leaf game (and they won!) our matching red plaid very extremely gay and hokey couple outfits and chilled oot. Everywhere it looked like Christmas where I looked with so many first date mini-tables peppering my view for entertainment.
Teach had an italian sidecar.
We ordered way too f-ing much.
And it was all fantastic.
I thought he looked like Fido Dido.
I had veal. So Eveal! Ahahah sorry. Teacher judges some of the animals I decide to eat, but he said that it doesn’t matter if it’s a baby calf or mother if you’re going to kill it anyway. Hey thanks buddy I feel tons better now.
Stella had a lot too, it’s so ostentatious to give rich foods to pets, I take joy from it. She doesn’t like mushrooms but couldn’t taste them. What is marsala? I was expecting indian.
Every spy always leaves a calling card behind. I used to leave my business card and other various raymitheminx.blogspot.com traces behind all over the city, on streetcar seats, subway, cabbagetown, my commute to and from the city at 17 when I first started my urban tenure spreading out of wings.
I had big 50’s tits that night. Actual quote. Teacher is a major pervert fyi.
I used to have to wear a kilt for an entire year in grade 9. You kind of lose your mind, it’s like reform school (catholic school) we finally got to switch schools after my year of martyrdom trying to pull off looking as depressed, despondent, and miserable as possible and then my brother upped the ante (the result, my niece) and he got to go to SSS a whole semester before me I was STEAMED. My bf went to SSS. Anyway long story short I got to take history twice because at St. Joes they crammed geography and history into a semester, that’s two subjects in half a year super concentrated learning (idiotic if you ask me) and so when I went to public they were like she has to do one of those over again cos that is not enough, fucking burn right? I chose history because I already watched every single war film in time and it was way easier, all it is is listening to shit that happened years ago, remembering it and answering questions about it. I think I have problems with geography too so I chose a full credit of that and then never do it again! Suffice it to say I was the coolest most adult person in Mr. Crocker’s grade 9 history class and from there I just Bart Simpsoned the rest of my way through High school. I still have my kilt.
And much like pride coming before a great fall, I went out as garbage the next ay to do last minute maniac Christmas shopping FOR EVERYONE knowing my dad wanted us at his place for like 2. This year I take full credit for being the Captain Kangaroo of the family so cut me some slack. Busy is as lazy does and I left everything to the last minute.
Brunch in the market after we were in the annex and then the crazy tshirt store where we couple squabbled and were cornered by spanish carollers and finally when the guy with the guitar jammed the neck of his classical in to my face when I was looking for hipster specs for my niece I finally said CAN YOU GET OUT OF HERE NOW. Teacher had a flip out too oh man what a scene. A single girl was all in our space too fascinated by our domestic abuse, my brother said couples fight 4 more times daily during the holidays. Ha we fight four times before we even get out of bed.
So I Clark Griswold my way through the mall like a video game and the deeper the layers of the mall you go down, the lesser the quality of all surroundings from brand to shopper. Yikes.
I could feel Batman’s eyes on me. Oh whatever street “performer” con-artist. Come and get me in your batwing.
I think those hippies at last temptation put the wrong mushrooms in my omelette there is a very big reindeer towering over me.
Look what I am holding mom.
Grilled tomatoes if you can manage it in lieu of potatoes. That place is a hole. Cheap though and decent. Had a pint each to calm the nerves, my brother’s Christmas shopping stipulation. Everyone in my family was born without patience.
I look pretty as a skid too. Versatility is key. I need a new jacket. Half my stuff is still packed away.
The one on the left is the nazi outfit I got Teacher.
When I opened it, initially, I made a hater face. Then became conceited pretty quick.
I got him a cardi, shirt, wallet and tie for just over $200. Le Chateau will always be my secret weapon.
I should be wearing my heels in this picture. Meh.
Oh I changed my mind!
Now my fingers can read in the dark!
Experiencing the point!
This is my being polite (and awkward) demeanour, when you show up and sit down all these suits swarm you and ask dumb tattoo questions just to claim you at the bar and cock block any other possible men and I am like come on guy fuck off (in my head) I am trying to talk to my mother, omg that’s your mother said with fake shock, yes now can I go bak to my vodka soda? Actually that place is so expensive you kind of have to be Julia Roberts and prosti yourselves some drinks. Casie got us shots of grey goose off a drunk chap the champ that she is. It’s a meat market bar filled with high class ladies (and gold diggers) and so if you want to talk to someone, namely me, it costs a drink. I am old fashioned.
Last night was fun, The keg wasn’t its normal douchebag self, it was more lame! We are going to spread the cougar claws elsewhere in the city next time we go out but it was just fine the four of us girls in our mean girl huddle together.
Seeing Casie walking in these beasts oh man, and then her hat flew away and sam had to go get it I was like what if you were alone right now that thing would be so gone forever no way you can run after it in your lady gaga shoes. They’re sick though right and make casie my height.
These dudes beside us got shots of grey goose and took off without paying, total jerk scumbags. I was in the bathroom at the time so I missed out on that action.
It was Lois’ fake second birthday! Was the cake on the bill? Hope not.
If you don’t go home with a dude you go home with food. Lois has a dude that my mom is jealous of because she thinks we will lose Lois haha yeah right nothing can replace us.
Nice.
Two can play at that game.
Mom why do your pictures end up so shitty? I wish you would email them to me like a normal person instead of me having to dredge them off facebook.
Casie always gives me a weird present.
Will probably come in handy someday during War of the worlds and I’ll be like Tom Cruise don’t worry I got this! Zuh-oom (laser beam sound effect duh obvs).
Oh hey there.
Casie is attempting to school me after I schooled her, rinse and repeat.
Then we went in to my tumblr template and I was like can we not do this right now? See how stressed out I am ha ha. Well actually some stupid bitch woman tweeted something disparaging about raymi camp so I had to investigate matters. Isn’t it great when people watch you live your life then try to sabotage your good times? Still waiting on that apology.
What is all over my ass and WHERE is my ass?
Thank god we take pictures I wouldn’t remember half the shit we do or say. This blog is one giant note to self. Do you remember when I used to blog my shopping lists at the top of my blog or little notes (BUY TP, RETURN MOVIE).
Sometimes (and this is one of those times) I have no idea what sexy is.
See good girls, it’s early!
Here is when I started to feel stupid.
Mesmerizing tights hook it up! Ok I am going to finish my breakfast lunch now if that is alright with you. The next time I type coug crawl it’ll say 2012 after it cant believe it time just goes on by. Don’t forget to blog it!
This was our theme song (one of many) last NYE. Such a good time. What’s going on this year for everyone else? Thinking about having people over but I kinda want to go out at least first, when you have a party you get house trapped. Hmm. Lemme know.
Here is what happened on a Facebook status update about an hour or whatever ago, welcome to my life. I shared a photo in my feed and put my url in it and decided to add “is still a really great blog” as a joke, it meant nothing. Then this piece of shit chimes up:
*************: questionable. the blog being great that is
Raymi Lauren White is this your walking papers?
************:oh raymi, just an observation. I didnt say anything about yr hair did I? relax.
***************: i just think days and days of piuctures of u on the rug, it gets boring.
Raymi Lauren White oh fuck you skid. when i blog it cranks up to 150 and im on holiday, bye BC hater.
Raymi Lauren White it’s business and nice to see your true colours after years of reading my blog, you finally lose your temper, how suave.
Ryan Griver blogs change, bloggers change, if you want something to stay the same for years try watching The Simpsons.
My status update in MY feed set you off so bad you get all hatey like so? Aw no Raymi is all pretty now I have to make a slag. Meanwhile you haven’t change your photo in ten billion years on facebook what are you hiding from? Being interesting and versatile? What are you hiding from? Gross. YOU are boring. It disgusts me that my niece has to witness this too. You have no tact. Think what you want about me and character assassinate at will but I have more class in my pinky finger than your entire sweaty disgusting army camo hat head. I am flattered that you expect me to give you more though than I already fucking give that means you depend on me Little Raymi hater sorry to let you down but I was too busy partying with those I love and taking care of myself and staying pretty. I like that you referenced the hair attack from previously today I see what you did there! So smart!!! Ahh wicked burn so burned I am burned oh what a world what a world! Thank you for keeping me on my boring living room carpet toes.
I strongly disagree with you though because I feel like these photographic subjects I lay before you, including that of myself, are far more interesting than anything you have to show, say, or anything else you can offer up on this holiday marathon week let alone ONE FUCKING TIME IN THE LAST 4 YEARS (?) THAT YOU HAVE HAVE ADDED ME TO FACEBOOK AND NOT ONCE HAVE I FELT THE URGE TO STRAY YOUR WAY. You are bored and hating as a result. Don’t give me your shit. You are so boring you had to leave a comment on MY facebook wall (who the fuck even are you anyway?) and project it on to someone else who is zero per cent boring. I couldn’t be boring if you paid me to be.
SO BORING! Bahah you wish you were this cute. AGAIN! I repeat: I haven’t seen your facebook profile picture change, not once, in the three+ some-odd years, that you have stalkily added me to your profile. Do any of your other friends on facebook blog like me? I ask nothing of you, I expect less than nothing. Your insult is meaningless against me and is actually a compliment.
I love BC but am just wondering why so many trolls hail from BC and hate on my blog. What is it about my blog and BC? I think BC is in love with me actually.
Sorry for not jumping out of a cake right now! I already had a mega-retarded publicity stunt burlesque show the suicide week prior to holidays thanks.
Boring? Please. My blog has been holding the 10k north american rank steady for two weeks now. I am killing it, not snoring it. It’s sad that one day all chicks blow their fuse on me for some dumb reason or other. Let me repeat, The proof is in the stats pudding I am in the 10,000 rank in all of North America, this blog. Boring blogs do not rank this highly you stupid FUCKING idiot.
No you’re not talking about my hair? Why would you be? Look at it you mousy slob. I am smokin’ hot.
Sorry guys for dragging it up again it just trickles in during moments when nothing is wrong. I am not saying I am an angel but I know that I have hundreds of days behind me where-in I have overcome the desire to leave a shitty comment on someone’s blog, despite being one who spends a lot of time on the internet. I see my blog as a photo album I update every day like this is my life la-dee-dah I need to keep traffic rolling so I throw content up whatever it is it’s new and people keep coming. No it’s not boring, it’s me and my dog smiling happy on Christmas eve-eve sorry your life blows.
Anyway I just keep being me. Like I don’t worry about my looks daily like any other person on this earth might. I do worry about other shit too. But not really. Ha. On MTV they were like you don’t know who Jenna Marbles is? No fuck off who cares I’m busy. They stoke the flames to get you going and a lot of it is mean-spirited too, they make you think they think the world of you but they don’t, they hate you. It’s going to be a good show. Jan 17. Right after Jersey Shore I already lift my shirt up all the time like The Situation anyway heheh.
I don’t know what’s boring about drinking with your boyfriend in the living room cos he has two weeks off work and you just got back in town after a killer bender with your family out in the burbs and we are now going over stuff we want to do like a spa a resort medieval times anything, Quebec yay! I have extra disdain sprinkled contempt for those whom hate this time of year. I am just done with negativity and then they are like, oh, no you aint’s!
Put your hands up if you worked your ass off this year and gave it your all!
Ps. this shirt has a striped matching loosey-goosey undershirt to go along with it’s so dope and no I am not telling you where it came from.
