Lost and found shoulda stayed lost

Lois got me this swanky watch. I am making teach look up when we have to take the tree down, we are whiners and don’t want the bubble to end he goes back to school on monday wah wah for him. He said today is the epiphany! Oh noes. Watching big brother and all our shows including creeps and j shore with that thing on all goddamn night. Take it down on le weekend.

Welcome to Neptune.

The last cougar night of 2011. There was going to be one tonight the first of 2012 but I am tired everyone is it’s good to rest up, at band tonight I was overcome with the tireds and am I sick? paranoia.

You are so beautiful.

Just when you thought I was done being narcissistic, newp, you are wrong. Christmas day on way to Oshawa. It was fun and scary and exciting and cut throat, people on the roads were insane. This is passing the skydome.

Aw this is dragging Christbreakfastmas out longer, le petit happy sigh, I got these for desserts in kensington market. Dad are you mad at me I called you after NYE and you haven’t responded.

These were deadly.

I hate wearing black to the keg but I always end up wearing black to the keg and then don’t bother with pics cos my mom does it but also in the bathroom look at this, what is the fucking point, oh it’s our floating heads, yeah cool seen.

Oh it is so on next year metro.

NYE hit list. Too bad I had to order booze delivery twice, to get more for our after party and then the next day cos we weren’t finished yet.

Then some day or other I made us two rounds of breakfast potatos and eggs with various hot sauces and mados. So british and so not how I used to eat when trekking my way to skinny town. Pretty uninspired but so delish when hung.

Lets wear white next time!

I am cool.

Turkey Tacos from last week, tacos everywhere, taco bonanza. Cheese light sour cream an airplane sized bottle of tequila we shared/shot then tucked in. We put a towel down underfoot for safety.

I took many pictures. The sour cream starts to glob all over the place, I was full after one, had two, wanted to die, teacher had three was was like aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no idea what we watched. Apparently we spend a hundred bucks a month on the zune/netflix.

This sprite loves me.

Speaking of tumblr, I started another one today for my drawrings. it’s called drawing bad still but the url is celebratingmediocrity.tumblr.com it’s nothing special yet.

This was on our street I made her take a pic of it there is no point with my phone but yeah, a hipster died here so sad. JUST KIDDING!

It is a scientific fact that people in my family do not grow up.

Big and thick like at sneaky dee’s, don’t fry/brown the onions up in to nothing.

Bought three packages of scallopini (thinly cut) cos it cooks faster, is cheap, and it’s funny to make this around xmas and it was a turkey that never made it to the table sad face no problem buddy we’ll help you out feliz navidad.

It would have been nice if I got an iphone this phone/camera sucks. Teach got a new one and it is so sick! ijealous.

Kay that’s it bye now.

it’s a bad man’s world and i’m a bad bad girl

I’ve got pics on my phone but they are garbage and that thing is already a piece of garbage too, GRRRRRRR.

I am trying very hard to relearn PC computing. I feel loads stupider than I normally stupidly feel. Band practice later on today and a special treat surprise or two. I am playing with paint at the moment, it’s nice that it’s less ghetto than it used to be, less pixellated. I can’t draw worth shit I know that but that’s not the point, it’s the genius captions and humour that is what I want to be better at in between being really, really, exceptionally good looking of course. Courtney and I watched Contagion last night it was scary and I had nightmares. Two nights in a row of nightmares.

Creeps airs tonight, my episode is on january 17, after jersey shore. I heard a rumour that it was pretty scandalous which I find hilar now that crotchety old people are finally going to be introduced to a new generation of do-anything-they-wants, not surprised they were surprised.

Might have to run for the hills when my ep airs.

This evening my nickname was cranberry tights. I ripped open a bag from my travels containing all of my tights and socks and stockings, yay. These are AA and winter thick I love ‘em.

This was after dinner at bar vespa. so full. dying on floor. Watched megamind, it’s so funny can’t believe I judged the book by the stupid big blue headed cover. Will Ferrel and Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, all star voice cast.

I signed on to be donated for date charity again this year. Last year I got $200 and this year I am 200% babelier so I bet I could go for more.

Should I get her a diamond collar?

What is the point of the leather band thing, courtney said it was christmas series related. ok.

Crimpy hair!

Lie down again. I just had a fish taco. HAhahahhaha.

I have a blogvertorial to do in a bit so I am just going to photodump this on you guys if that’s alright. We have been sleeping in lately catching up on the day we expedited with casie after new years lol. O_O.

In complete agreement with you, a bit gratuitous.

For dinner we had meatballs, risotto balls mmmm and chorizo fonduta. Side plates are 5 bucks on tuesdays. Another good local. Prob do a food blast post soon.

This must have been before we left because I don’t look like I want to die here.

Arrogant. But I like the pockets.

Dumpy babushka and those shoes are wrong. But kind of right. Not for this season though.

Now to plan another outfit. It never ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnds.

I’m the oldest friend you never had

This is a small, it’s got a tear/rip in the crotch from my gargantuan long legs and I was attempting to high kick like casie, which i can barely do and especially not with this thing on.

We ate this for days.

It was so cold this day.

Ahh scary! Scarilicious.

Then I had crimpy hair all day long the next day kindergarden styles and we had a lovely dinner at bar vespa i’ll blob tomorrow as for now, it’s dinner with DrunkgirlTO tonight wheeeeeeeee!

self-loathing is my business and business is good

Our new play is going to be a hit it’s called Goldilocks got her gay dad a bear.

I will have to sew my red button back on this dress.

I am pissy right now cos I’ve yet to master this keyboard it’s all in outerspace symbols and doesn’t do the memorized macbook commands I keep punching in. I know it just takes a bit of time but I don’t have any of that!! I slept in after a nightmare about my mother dying and it was very emotional and then I turned into a monster and made us clean fight clean fight fight clean. Meanwhile I am supposed to be chained to this laptop THAT I CANNOT FUCKING TYPE ON getting my schedule sorted, pr emails, blog, same-old. Blogging ain’t always easy and yes I’m complaining I should have been a plumber.

Ha ha exactly fully agree Sar-ugh. This is a great picture though.

The gingerbreadhouse is a lovely cozy Christmas den of wonder if I could do wall-to-wall white lush carpeting or fur, I would.

But the third porridge was just right. Like I’ma bust in to someone’s house and eat porridge.

Sarah was like I remember when you bought this dress! Funny.

Everyone thinks this guy is a big comedian now haha (my clothes, we dressed him, yes I am a giant baby) I bet that dress would be stunning on you in Jamaica. I bought it in Burlington during boxing week clearance, it’s really hard to buy a summer dress in the winter, it’s like, wicked selfish I think. I am also not one with the ability to plan my life so far in advance. I’m always like, by summer I’ll be a millionaire so nothing will matter then I’ll have 8 blue maxi dresses.

Teach said now I will know for sure of my friends/colleagues/family who reads your blog after these pictures cos they can’t not say something. I know everyone reads it because NO ONE wants to talk to me for days afterward. Everyone always hates someone or something that I do/blog. It’s a new year lets all get along and just agree with every decision I make.

We had good conceptual photo ideas and follow-through.

Close the fucking curtain what are you trying to blind me! ahha.

Yes, it just keeps going.

You look like a choir angel boy/girl.

Oh my god haha I gave those shades to sammy for his trip to Jamaica. Irie. Teacher, baby, you look gorgeous in that dress. Everyone thiefed each other’s costume ideas.

Not trying to sneak away now are ya?

Ok time to pretend in a picture that we are cleaning this all up now.

I should start wearing that more often with a beret and scoff at people in coffee shops.

CUTE!

I have run out of words.

What would your burlesque name be?

One of the winning outfits for sure.

It’s nice when a doll comes over to play with you.

Always get some tricep extensions in if you can manage it.

Look like I am fading here finally, Sarah peaced out soon after this and Sammy was nodding off a little so we sent him away too.

Nope not done yet.

Are you having a nice time at my after party? Yes it is my dream come true.

I never get to get in on the discussions about my ass, I get to overhear them as I pretend to be busying myself with something as I eavesdrop in on the girls gushing all jeals. One of Oprah’s favourite things!

Earlier that evening the three seconds that I danced lol.

No wonder I lose everything and am such a giant loser, purse is always spilling open I’ll be better this year I swear! Next post will be leftovers from some other post or other. Dating a teacher during xmas break requires focus and drive, 2 weeks of playing adult house pretty much. C’est la vie.

Raymbo Brite

Dez is a guy that Raymimposter roped in, remember that? Thanks to her I am getting custom-designed Raymbo Brite shoes. Burn on that bitch much? Yes, very much so. Bet she is reading right meow, hi loser!

Dez made a pair of shoes for MICHEAL BUBLE and delivered them to him on Saturday Night Live! Here is what he said about his experience there I am so jealous. Dez is in his watershed moment of career success I am very happy for the guy, he’s where I wanna be, got mad haters from jealous dork artists and the like, can relate. One day we will hang and get obliterated but for now we work our asses off aiming for the almighty dream. I think attentding the SNL after party means you’ve made it. Remember, you are who you hang out with so surround yourself with the best as much as is possible.

SNL was amazing. Pretty much a bucket list thing I got to do and went to after party and got high-five drunk, slammed a shooter with JimmyF, and basically O . O ‘ed slash perv stared at about a million beautiful women. Totally cool to see live and got to check out bunch of sets at 30Rock.

Brb with tickle trunk dress-up NYE party pics! I’m switching over to my new laptop now, goodbye old friend macbook pro I overheated you one too many times.

Hi! I should get those for my dad for suicidal scrabble games.

Sick guy. What a genius.

Here is another celeb pair. Done for heavy metal band Anvil and their rock documentary ANVIL:The Story of Anvil.

Signed by the band as well on the tongue if you look close.

Kay bye for real now and be right back.

May the new year bring me lots of riches and bitches in stitches

Lauren and I could have a nice show together, Loren and Luhren (and for the ten billionth fucking time that is how you say my name and why I invented Raymi and it is confusing to be around Laurens cos I think they’re calling my name because some REFUSE to pronounce my name properly, it’s been my name since playschool birth get it right or get a spear through the face!) I’ll scan this for you kay. You have the other one which is ten times worse than this right hahah.

Photobooth at the Drake is better now.

Even though she’s the retarded friend, we accept Lauren Onizz. I like goofy girls. Cos when I do stupid shit they’re the first to nod their heads and go I understand. When we all went to wakestock together do you know how many times we’d leave something on the top of Lauren’s car and then drive away, I win for doing that the most, my purse, a pop, a salad, haha.

I was going to wear a sparkle dress but everyone told me not to so now I will never be able to wear it unless I get hired for a Caesar’s palace housewife shoot. I didn’t want to copy Casie or get stared at all night or make up in my head that I was being stared at all night which is dumb because I live to be stared at.

Me and Kate and Casie knows who she is, her cousin? Raymi stoo-pid forgetful and I don’t listen either. All good things!

Opened the middle one first for ourselves cos it’s least posh, wanted to show off with the cava, which we opened and can’t remember if anyone else saw or cared and then by the third who knows the fuck what was going on HAPPY NEW YEAR DONE RIGHT!

Thank you Kate for hooking us up with the cheapo tix. I’m glad we went out, I can’t party with myself and the tree in the living room and call it a party when I do it everyday.

All the boyfriends fell in love with each other man and we got to hear HEY MAN I LOVE THIS GUY ten thousand times yes you’re welcome we know thank god and we can tell the bromance is blossoming.

Felt a lot of pressure to turn out a hot outfit. Didn’t. I was feeling too much party stressed.

WTF is this beauty and the beast? I want to watch cartoons all day long I wonder if I could turn that in to some sort of job.

It’s hard to get group portraits with everyone but we seemed to have managed to do it, and some of us have zero recollection of this even being taken.

Teach doesn’t remember any of these, where is this he asked? The Drake. Who’s hotel room? Oh some guy with vampire sunglasses on. Lauren and I stole his girlfriend for a cruise of the Sky yard for a bit leaving the boys up to play in the room.

Every hotel room needs stolen balloons.

I think she made it herself?

I was shy at this point so I couldn’t get a picture with the dragons, I went all disney in my head like politely waiting for my turn instead of the hipster cluster mob encircling them. One day I will ride a dragon.

Amazing dress this amazon was wearing. I wore flats so no I am not a midget. I wanted to be able to have control of my feet all night so I kept it safe and Sally Jessie Raphael.

That girl is just asking for a melon squeeze. All girls will be lesbians one day and that will be the time of Raymi!

I’m so special.

Teacher is in a black out here.

And here.

Here too.

I should have known by how we were squabbling and I couldn’t get through to him. Meh. No one was hurt. I was just super fucking annoyed. I need to lighten up and worry about myself more, new resolution is I am going to stop caring about everyone around me (impossible). Also, Teacher’s iphone is broken, won’t turn on, probably happened in his black out probably rested it in a pile of water at the drake maybe. Poor baby.

Lauren O has the longest fingers here. We should buy her an award. A finger.

Should have worn my white fur jacket with the bow but again I was in the mood for casual. Not that I am competitive or anything.

Dim Sum party was fun, we got the VIPLEASE treatment from the Mansion boys and our boyfriends had to stay on the other side of the rope for awhile hahaha. Thanks be to blog and know your place. Mansion (Conrad?) was like those three blonds let them in, no wristbands necessary, remember this face. So self-entitled. Earned.

We are good at taking selfie pics but when there is three of us too many arms in the way and shadows. Need to hire more blog slaves.

A lot of these are Lauren’s cos she was the most operating functioning sober person and dragons were dancing around us aaaaah.

Two people in there? Or one guy with really long arms or sticks I dunno.

Bottle and cans of beer service in our area, we brought the dudes drinks and then when all the vultures were let in the booze was drank. People dancing on tables and all talking nonsense and getting along, very nice. I am not afraid of Toronto anymore, well I never was but you know, people don’t go out to clubs cos they’re insecure or nervous, you just gotta do it and see that the majority is out to have fun and hug and scream in to stranger’s faces I LOVE YOU MANS. Being around young people helps keep you look and dressing young, oh I see this is what they’re doing, short skirts? Groovy.

My nose is so big it captured all of the red light. Lauren’s outfit was awesome. I was almost going to wear my new black corset too but I chickened out.

I dressed up to go to the supermarket, it’s all about the face though I feel and everyone said I looked pretty and that’s all that counts. This dress of hers is very Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Bony cat. C’ept she has bigger bewbs. Score.

Wheee. First time seeing what the Drake hotel rooms look like. You get extra permission to trainwreck through the building with a hotel key.

We met this girl’s friend who was a bit wasted downstairs and hung out by the fire, bumped into Carly’s sister Kristin and everything was running smoothly on the sky yard typical drake shenans.

I made a new friend. He bought me a drink and said I do not buy drinks for women who aren’t going to fuck me but for you I will make an exception because I had made such an impression. I think I weaselled a shot out of him for Lauren I can’t remember. I don’t know his name he was nice but there are a lot of man cougar rocker eccentric types at the drake for you single cats out there.

We were so close to making it out of there with our blankets, Lauren made it out further didn’t try very hard to obscure them, the security guy was like I’m gonna need my blankets back and I gave puppy dog, no, puss in boots eyes and it ALMOST worked.

On our way back to Santa’s village.

Sparkle stars everywhere.

I figured a way to beat the competition.

Why do I pose like I’m on a soap opera? Gaydorable and the restless. Lauren always looks good and Lauren does too lol.

Back to more stupidity another time. Did you guys lose your minds that I didn’t blog yesterday? Don’t answer all at once now. We ended up at our place and I came downstairs with a boulder-sized bundle of tickle trunk costumes and dresses and we had a drag queen party and took 400 mystery blackmail camera photos I will have to see what I can and can’t post, if it were up to me, EVERYTHANG. Will have to ask Casie and Sarah what they feel comfortable being exploited with and how far, the dudes I could care less what their feelings are. GIRLS RULE LE BLOG.Sarahwho we all have a crush on now btw, has been reading my blog for years and knows everything about me, super specific shit I have long forgotten, it was mind-blowing to be blown by her infinite Raymi wisdom one day there’ll be a quiz game on Raymi the Minx to test the knowledge and memory of all Little Raymis out there, questions like WHAT YEAR DID RAYMI FIRST TRY PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS? How many boyfriends has Raymi had? When did Raymi’s mother start commenting on rtm.com, What is Raymi’s middle name? (It’s Krista).

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my burger king stacker I hope it goes right to my tits.

Happy New Year. Payce!

Tell me what you did last night I mean two nights ago we missed a day over here haha.

(Casie I need your pics)(Still from both times haha).

Welcome to le ish

HI!

More like Pimps Royal. That’s what I had.

They pour in their seasoning then drizzle oil on to your own personal side plate for bread. Italian classic style service, dripping with manners. I am treating Lois and mum here. Then to Wills Landing where lots of yupsters go why didn’t I think of this sooner and if they get blasted can crash at my place.

Lois got moms and me matching hats. Faux fur but real seeming and soft. Got checked out like bananas in metro yesterday and it cloaks your dark eyebags I was like a spectre.

Duck face mom.

Spice girls.

Mesmerized by my fab nail beds is likely why I lost the Zara card (at Sephora) I know the universe is tired of hearing about it. Can some guy who reads this get my mom a $100 Gift Card for Zara? Doesn’t hurt to try! I got my mom famous for Christmas (you will see very soon) so I think I have done enough this year.

This post will have two major booze haul purchase snapshots. It’s not my fault xmas and NYE are five days apart. Oyster bay is not cheap and now it’s in sparkling!

Highly entertaining girls beside us like Bridget Jones Diary I loved it, Christmas eve-eve dinner (that’s meant for your good friend or boyfriend) and they were getting loaded and trashing on everyone, namely ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend it was a bit much (SO MUCH) sometimes I get shell shocked from too much stimulation and, well, blogging, that I need to sit in silence or have no more bullshit but we turned our side of the seat in to a hallmark photoshoot and were buzzin’ off the christmas cozy atmosphere of the dark sunk-in cavern of bar vespa with our own personal flat screen playing the leaf game (and they won!) our matching red plaid very extremely gay and hokey couple outfits and chilled oot. Everywhere it looked like Christmas where I looked with so many first date mini-tables peppering my view for entertainment.

Teach had an italian sidecar.

We ordered way too f-ing much.

And it was all fantastic.

I thought he looked like Fido Dido.

I had veal. So Eveal! Ahahah sorry. Teacher judges some of the animals I decide to eat, but he said that it doesn’t matter if it’s a baby calf or mother if you’re going to kill it anyway. Hey thanks buddy I feel tons better now.

Stella had a lot too, it’s so ostentatious to give rich foods to pets, I take joy from it. She doesn’t like mushrooms but couldn’t taste them. What is marsala? I was expecting indian.

Every spy always leaves a calling card behind. I used to leave my business card and other various raymitheminx.blogspot.com traces behind all over the city, on streetcar seats, subway, cabbagetown, my commute to and from the city at 17 when I first started my urban tenure spreading out of wings.

I had big 50’s tits that night. Actual quote. Teacher is a major pervert fyi.

I used to have to wear a kilt for an entire year in grade 9. You kind of lose your mind, it’s like reform school (catholic school) we finally got to switch schools after my year of martyrdom trying to pull off looking as depressed, despondent, and miserable as possible and then my brother upped the ante (the result, my niece) and he got to go to SSS a whole semester before me I was STEAMED. My bf went to SSS. Anyway long story short I got to take history twice because at St. Joes they crammed geography and history into a semester, that’s two subjects in half a year super concentrated learning (idiotic if you ask me) and so when I went to public they were like she has to do one of those over again cos that is not enough, fucking burn right? I chose history because I already watched every single war film in time and it was way easier, all it is is listening to shit that happened years ago, remembering it and answering questions about it. I think I have problems with geography too so I chose a full credit of that and then never do it again! Suffice it to say I was the coolest most adult person in Mr. Crocker’s grade 9 history class and from there I just Bart Simpsoned the rest of my way through High school. I still have my kilt.

And much like pride coming before a great fall, I went out as garbage the next ay to do last minute maniac Christmas shopping FOR EVERYONE knowing my dad wanted us at his place for like 2. This year I take full credit for being the Captain Kangaroo of the family so cut me some slack. Busy is as lazy does and I left everything to the last minute.

Brunch in the market after we were in the annex and then the crazy tshirt store where we couple squabbled and were cornered by spanish carollers and finally when the guy with the guitar jammed the neck of his classical in to my face when I was looking for hipster specs for my niece I finally said CAN YOU GET OUT OF HERE NOW. Teacher had a flip out too oh man what a scene. A single girl was all in our space too fascinated by our domestic abuse, my brother said couples fight 4 more times daily during the holidays. Ha we fight four times before we even get out of bed.

So I Clark Griswold my way through the mall like a video game and the deeper the layers of the mall you go down, the lesser the quality of all surroundings from brand to shopper. Yikes.

I could feel Batman’s eyes on me. Oh whatever street “performer” con-artist. Come and get me in your batwing.

I think those hippies at last temptation put the wrong mushrooms in my omelette there is a very big reindeer towering over me.

Look what I am holding mom. :(

Grilled tomatoes if you can manage it in lieu of potatoes. That place is a hole. Cheap though and decent. Had a pint each to calm the nerves, my brother’s Christmas shopping stipulation. Everyone in my family was born without patience.

I look pretty as a skid too. Versatility is key. I need a new jacket. Half my stuff is still packed away.

The one on the left is the nazi outfit I got Teacher.

When I opened it, initially, I made a hater face. Then became conceited pretty quick.

I got him a cardi, shirt, wallet and tie for just over $200. Le Chateau will always be my secret weapon.

Still adding to this post

No I’m not I have to shower now Kay bye.

Happy New Year everyone! To be continued!