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Welcome to le ish


More like Pimps Royal. That’s what I had.

They pour in their seasoning then drizzle oil on to your own personal side plate for bread. Italian classic style service, dripping with manners. I am treating Lois and mum here. Then to Wills Landing where lots of yupsters go why didn’t I think of this sooner and if they get blasted can crash at my place.

Lois got moms and me matching hats. Faux fur but real seeming and soft. Got checked out like bananas in metro yesterday and it cloaks your dark eyebags I was like a spectre.

Duck face mom.

Spice girls.

Mesmerized by my fab nail beds is likely why I lost the Zara card (at Sephora) I know the universe is tired of hearing about it. Can some guy who reads this get my mom a $100 Gift Card for Zara? Doesn’t hurt to try! I got my mom famous for Christmas (you will see very soon) so I think I have done enough this year.

This post will have two major booze haul purchase snapshots. It’s not my fault xmas and NYE are five days apart. Oyster bay is not cheap and now it’s in sparkling!

Highly entertaining girls beside us like Bridget Jones Diary I loved it, Christmas eve-eve dinner (that’s meant for your good friend or boyfriend) and they were getting loaded and trashing on everyone, namely ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend it was a bit much (SO MUCH) sometimes I get shell shocked from too much stimulation and, well, blogging, that I need to sit in silence or have no more bullshit but we turned our side of the seat in to a hallmark photoshoot and were buzzin’ off the christmas cozy atmosphere of the dark sunk-in cavern of bar vespa with our own personal flat screen playing the leaf game (and they won!) our matching red plaid very extremely gay and hokey couple outfits and chilled oot. Everywhere it looked like Christmas where I looked with so many first date mini-tables peppering my view for entertainment.

Teach had an italian sidecar.

We ordered way too f-ing much.

And it was all fantastic.

I thought he looked like Fido Dido.

I had veal. So Eveal! Ahahah sorry. Teacher judges some of the animals I decide to eat, but he said that it doesn’t matter if it’s a baby calf or mother if you’re going to kill it anyway. Hey thanks buddy I feel tons better now.

Stella had a lot too, it’s so ostentatious to give rich foods to pets, I take joy from it. She doesn’t like mushrooms but couldn’t taste them. What is marsala? I was expecting indian.

Every spy always leaves a calling card behind. I used to leave my business card and other various traces behind all over the city, on streetcar seats, subway, cabbagetown, my commute to and from the city at 17 when I first started my urban tenure spreading out of wings.

I had big 50’s tits that night. Actual quote. Teacher is a major pervert fyi.

I used to have to wear a kilt for an entire year in grade 9. You kind of lose your mind, it’s like reform school (catholic school) we finally got to switch schools after my year of martyrdom trying to pull off looking as depressed, despondent, and miserable as possible and then my brother upped the ante (the result, my niece) and he got to go to SSS a whole semester before me I was STEAMED. My bf went to SSS. Anyway long story short I got to take history twice because at St. Joes they crammed geography and history into a semester, that’s two subjects in half a year super concentrated learning (idiotic if you ask me) and so when I went to public they were like she has to do one of those over again cos that is not enough, fucking burn right? I chose history because I already watched every single war film in time and it was way easier, all it is is listening to shit that happened years ago, remembering it and answering questions about it. I think I have problems with geography too so I chose a full credit of that and then never do it again! Suffice it to say I was the coolest most adult person in Mr. Crocker’s grade 9 history class and from there I just Bart Simpsoned the rest of my way through High school. I still have my kilt.

And much like pride coming before a great fall, I went out as garbage the next ay to do last minute maniac Christmas shopping FOR EVERYONE knowing my dad wanted us at his place for like 2. This year I take full credit for being the Captain Kangaroo of the family so cut me some slack. Busy is as lazy does and I left everything to the last minute.

Brunch in the market after we were in the annex and then the crazy tshirt store where we couple squabbled and were cornered by spanish carollers and finally when the guy with the guitar jammed the neck of his classical in to my face when I was looking for hipster specs for my niece I finally said CAN YOU GET OUT OF HERE NOW. Teacher had a flip out too oh man what a scene. A single girl was all in our space too fascinated by our domestic abuse, my brother said couples fight 4 more times daily during the holidays. Ha we fight four times before we even get out of bed.

So I Clark Griswold my way through the mall like a video game and the deeper the layers of the mall you go down, the lesser the quality of all surroundings from brand to shopper. Yikes.

I could feel Batman’s eyes on me. Oh whatever street “performer” con-artist. Come and get me in your batwing.

I think those hippies at last temptation put the wrong mushrooms in my omelette there is a very big reindeer towering over me.

Look what I am holding mom. :(

Grilled tomatoes if you can manage it in lieu of potatoes. That place is a hole. Cheap though and decent. Had a pint each to calm the nerves, my brother’s Christmas shopping stipulation. Everyone in my family was born without patience.

I look pretty as a skid too. Versatility is key. I need a new jacket. Half my stuff is still packed away.

The one on the left is the nazi outfit I got Teacher.

When I opened it, initially, I made a hater face. Then became conceited pretty quick.

I got him a cardi, shirt, wallet and tie for just over $200. Le Chateau will always be my secret weapon.

Still adding to this post

No I’m not I have to shower now Kay bye.

Happy New Year everyone! To be continued!

6 thoughts on “Welcome to le ish

  1. Happy New Year! xxx

    Wishing you and yours:

    A Relaxed Mind, A Peaceful Soul, A Joyful Spirit, A Healthy Body & Heart full of Love..All these are my Hopes for You my Friends..Wishing you all a Happy New Year

  2. Poor cat, she’s like ” thank you , now can you please get those lights outta my fu$ing face!” hahaha

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