bangs but no bangs

what my emails are like now thanks to the great laptop pop disaster of June 11 2012.


Ok. Don’t get mad. I know I get my way a lot, and you have already given in so much. But… bangs. Come on. You miss them too
some things are just meant to be. Byeee.

youve gone too far

idkillmyself aftera week of bangs and then you
kayboard fucked

i look so goodwith them grown out and shaggy dog in my face, you are crazy.


(ps I just like that picture cos we have matching hair, the end)

Hi Raymi! Remember me? I restarted my GICU blog on tumblr
(, and I already have a ton of followers! I just need to get on twitter and I’ll be all set!

Sooooooooo, would you want to submit something? Another underwear pic,
perhaps? I’d love to reblog some of your old ones too!

ANd if there’s anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask! I’m
going to make you a little fansign of my own! (nothing pervy, of

Love ya!

definitely! busy day here so gimme a bit k, and of course pilfer my archives for anything you like (this one is retarded because it’s from my phone where nothing is possible).

Dear Raymi, I’m so glad you virtually came into my life. I’ve gained confidence by seeing you walk the walk. You’re amazing.

Oh CoralReefer420! HEART YOU GIRL

Merkley: we’re getting tattooed when you get her. mine will be canadian themed because i manufacture sentimentality in order to mock it.
Like ·

Raymi Lauren White Mine will say GOAT ANUS.

Merkley Merkley self referential tattoos are tacky raymi.

Raymi Lauren White Wahhh

Merkley Merkley i’ll design you a nice avril lavigne tattoo.

Raymi Lauren White You can have a Nickelback one

Merkley Merkley already have one. duh.

Raymi Lauren White I want something sexy

Merkley Merkley justin beiber it is. i’ll start drawing now.

you want him in a thong or full nude?

thong is probably more classy.

Raymi Lauren White Red sparkles

mover shaker faker

Hiya player haters how’s your lunch? This is me and Brian at the nxne party last night, it was a killer time I talked my face off and told all the right lies to the right people it was such a peach. Snoop Dogg did not make it out unfortch ha.

Who are these people? Who cares!

I walked all the way to the hyatt to get my badge in my wedges then to peter pan then to the hoxton, all in wedges, all in walking. It was a pretty fucking stupid idea if you ask me. Then I ended the night trying to double on Rebecca’s bike which was impossible so I ran along side her (and ahead) home, in wedges. Suffice it to say my right knee feels like it had surgery on it. Great!

Mr. Hollett is a fan of RTM.COM what what! Even knew who stupid (Rebecca) was! We talked about all kinds of shit. Better party pics to come later once I kiss enough event photog ass to get the good ones.

Picking up my badge, tough crowd, tough crowd. Just kidding the panels are down another way. Bumped into Meg Button and a guy and I was like did you learn anything today? SYNERGY ENGAGE ENGAGE baha. Meg’s hair is always stunning. I can’t wait to have long thick full hair again. People might kill themselves from jealousy.

Everyone made fun of me (jealous) for my “Oooooh” MEDIA pass. That’s right assholes bow before me I am the news now. Always was. Always will be. This just in I am going to the bathroom meet you in the lobby!

Rebecca went out in her pajamas last night and this smooth talker got her in to the party (and Jules) Jules was like we knew you would get us in blabbity blah I say the right things and it’s true. No those aren’t pajamas but she kept saying they (it?) were (was). I am drinking a gin fizz and I adore Peter Pan, why I never go there I don’t know. The inside is so charming. Drinks could be a bit cheaper though.

Jerk chicken caesar (with no croutons).

Let them eat soup!

On the phone with little Lois!

I wore bathing suit underwear. I did not flash any photographers cos I didn’t adequately girlscape before heading out. I have french hair shorts baha. SHH!

We annexed this corner and I hoarded it then made sure when I left it that other people would continue to hoard it in the event I might return (I didn’t!) it was a super fun time not a zoo like the opening night parties usually (always) are. Sometimes they’re nucking futs right!

Okay well that’s all the pics I have now we wait for the rest but in the mean time here’s some crap I ran out of time to blog yesterday. I would phone it in if I could I really would haha.

This belonged to Britt.

Heard you haven’t been working out as much lately. We should do something about that.

Where is my goddamn lighter bro! I can’t find it!

If you can’t be smart you can be adorkable. Speaking of, the other day I said facetiously on twitter, Blogging: no skills necessary. When clearly there are loads of skills necessary. True I am a shitty lazy blogger but still I am a GREAT blogger so that’s all I meant sorry for the epic confusion. Sometimes my humour goes over people’s heads and they think I’m being broad when I’m not. I’m talking about myself guys what you do on your own blogs is all you. Except from the parts that are ripped off from me lol.

Yeah guy. Zzzz. Feels like Friday so much. Back to work!

You’re all out of order

You can totally see through this thing. Righteous.

I liked how big my nose looks in some of these. I know I am dealing with children when someone makes fun of the size of my nose. How gauche.

Do you like my cruisewear? Cruise or be cruised. Which, also ain’t that bad.

I am glad I wore an eating tent to eat in. I didn’t compare myself to the hot young chicks all around me too much because I am a special and unique creature possessing ageless beauty and remarkable adorablah qualities that cannot be replaced, you know, in layman’s terms: that quirky manipulative bullshit that is irresistible, heartbreaking. What do I always say Little Raymis? OWN THY SHIT.

It’s time to be put through Raymi confidence building finishing school. Can you imagine me mentoring shy girls? Well, I can and I have and I do and I will again. THAT is something tv-worthy don’t you think? Something Owen Wilson-esque for sure ahaha.

The password is pink tarantula

Shhh it’s Me Time. Which is one of my jokes at the table when we’re all gettin’ pished, if I zone out or lose my attention span/go mute I’ll say, sorry that was me time and wave my hand over my face like a magician.

My tuna salad it was aiight. I’m going to dump some real flavour on it (something spicy) before I head out tha’ door. All that flame-warring made me lose blog time window urggh plus typing on this shit is like quicksand and I make a lot of typos which are unacceptable! I also lost time planning trip to Aruba with Lois and Bech!

Iphonereversies bring out the split-ends in my hair more cos the pic quality goes low.

Oh god. Lets just say I grazed over here quite a bit. The truffle mayo dip will kill you with deliciousness.

I didn’t do my mascara raccoon smear beneath eyes cos I didn’t want to wake up like Alice Cooper (as much) today.

I see nipple! When is the last nipple date sighting on RTM?

Upside down salad.

Why so serious?


It’s just a platter.

Just a platter? Fuck I gotta go bro.

See through solution:

Cougar print-on-print so legit.

Now where were we

I think somewhere in the middle of who gives a shit street down passed why bother lane? Ever since dumping cola all over my laptop yesterday afternoon my caring meter has been a little low. I am also feeling mega-stressed out this week, too much going on and then I just bail on everything cos I “can’t deal”. My ADD was bad enough yesterday and now I got a case of the sticky keys. I should not have been drinking pop out of a champagne flute like a frickin’ dink ass to begin with. When I hear about other people frying their laptops I always secretly smugly think what stupid luck everyone else has look at me sitting pretty over here with the best luck ever (knocks on wood) but yeah, my laptop magically came back to life and the depression funk I was headed for went away but not really I conjured up all hell of other things to be annoyed about/frustrated by/stressed over like the cool story that I am.

Bitches in Libville yesterday eyed my sandals like snakes, seriously, get your own damn sandals. Then they look up in to my face and I’m like yeah, I saw that, control your faces please.

Throw a smile on it like this. Everybody loves a Guy Smiley.

And a smoke show like this chick.

Upping our photo angles game we were.

Yup. She’s a mystery camera alright. I am hating my sticky keys sooooo much. Expect a lot of bitchy upcoming posts.

I could not believe Jen has the same phone as me AND is on instagram too. I have no excuse now do I? I think it would make my phone InstaFlames. But you can do it from web.

Time for freezies.

I’m kind of fit and kind of fat (pre-menses blamin’ it on!) also those are small shorts so they make my love handles, handled. I don’t care. Just pre-defensive of the teenage girl haters who read my bible blog. Within a month (each month) I go between 118-124, then down again. Anyway I am going to stop eating pizza (yeah right) and drink less (pfft). MAYBE!

JBeth said there’s been pics of me on FB where she thought they were her (before maximizing) and I was flattered by that, then temporarily missed my blond hair, then I got over it.

People are attracted to people with similar features to themselves.

I haven’t noticed a difference in attention levels since going to back to dark hair so pretty much everyone who warned me about being treated like garbage in comparison, were wrong. If you become a wallflower with mousy dark hair then that’s your own fault.

Pizza guy had to check the killer view. Ingoldsbie is the nicest dude and best host.

Evidently the secret to pizza pizza is thin crust + well done cheese. I’m a believer.

The most amazing wine, Silver Oak, M. brought back from Napa. Well lah-dee-dahh pour some on Raymeh. I’m trying to coax Silver Oak in to sending a few bottles our way now. I tried to find a bottle last night, no dice. A fifty dollar bottle of vintages that MIGHT taste like it ah no, we settled with a decent Zin and a bottle of Marlborough that I’ll drink tonight!

Tomorrow-Sunday is going to be mad busy. NXNE, parties parties parties and maintaining bounce back capabilities to blog it all. I need a party girl calendar. I’m going to bail on GhostFace maybe cos it’s Father’s Day this w/e but I’ll def be at Flaming Lips. I should probably go to Bad Religion too and I don’t know how I’m going to be at 159 Manning + Echo Beach at the same time and all the other bits in between aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh o_O can we get city golf cart transit system set up yet Mr. Ford? I bet my (personal) invitation to City Hall still stands.

Purty view.

Mystery camera oh mystery camera. Sure you think one shot in that direction is enough? You can’t see where you are zooming in, hence the mystery. There’s a lotta good and a lotta bad. It’s a fun camera though and stress-free, you take and forget and enjoy your Real Time more.

Keeping it really really real time.

I call this look Little Nana. Which is funny because she is littler than me.

Some guy tweeted if I wanted some tits for that top @ me. Another chick engaged in twitter flame war over the meaning of POSH that went ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. I was quoting an anecdote I had learned when I arrived, I don’t mind a good argue but can it wait until after we’re all out trying to enjoy our fucking selves? If I am flaming someone that I e-stalk, I do it in a better way than that which is that I don’t. When people instigate and then you react to the bullshit they started, which banks off the tweet you initially tweeted, is it fair game then? I can’t even count the number of infractions in all manners of speaking, I think a lot of people drunk tweet too and get lippier. It’s an interesting social experiment for sure.

We had enough sun.

Daffodils and Dagwood.

Oh hi there.

I made us (with the help of Williams Sonoma) peach margaritas for one last day cap. Jenny tried to say she never drinks on Sundays, FTS! Sundays are the BEST days to drink on. I could write a thesis on why!

She also was not really aware of who Betty & Veronica are. O_O She’s not a comic girl. B&V are not a comic but a supermarket cottage childhood garage sale staple right of passage.

Jen Mcneely owns this painting by yours truly of the two iconic inked starlettes (with an Ainsley bonus feature for good measure lol) as a matter of fact. Anywhoo I had said that I always admired Veronica most cos she was the rich girl, but then Archie could just not get enough of that blond. Eternal conflict of life. Tomboy wife material or princess bitch trophy. You can be both!

Then I walked all the way home in those flats and nothing started bleeding. It was a nice tanked walk home in a beautiful dress I felt like a floaty princess.

And conceitedly artistic.

Battery was dying too.

Gotta go. Colleague is giving my bike a tune-up!

Jenny from the block

Have a good weekend? Great me too! It was focused around pleasing myself, taking it ease following a hell of the complete opposite. Confusing? Good.

Ooh nice and greasy.

Some little hater
is trying to say I have lumpy legs. Cool try there. It is genetically impossible for me to have cellulite, sweet thing. There just simply ain’ts no jiggle in this wiggle, I danced around in the mirror and stabbed my thigh with my finger to get a wobbly reaction and it would not happen. Scientific experiment over.

See that clean line? Look closer then. Don’t attack me about shit you are wrong about loser in Vancouver.

Zipped on to the Gardiner across town to the Esplanade. Had to walk a few blocks through Woofstock, I was already late so it was annoying. Crowd walkers are slow, deliberate and selfish. I navigate through bodies like a pro, I almost went over on my ankle only once haha. I was typing and speed walking in wedges, sue me.

It’s true.

BAM! Jenny from the block is back in town. We have an annual piss-up. I’m her Eastie bestie. *takes bow*.

I am covering the planet that’s growing on my clav. I picked it last night, mmm hot bloody times.

Lounging on this Penthouse patio in the sun was absolutely stunning, the eye candy didn’t hurt either.

I miss my orange shades so much but I guess I can’t wear orange anymore now anyway with my brunette hair otherwise I’ll get a Halloween complex.

I’m going to start posting my pics at 500 instead of 640 width so people can have less of a hassle loading this thing, deal? It will take some getting used to so excuse the inconsistencies please.

How’s the belly tan JB? Wah woh heehee o_O.

Speaking of O_o that’s what my eyes look like. Nice!

Classic oldschool bloggy pose Jenny was infamous for haha.

Woofstock down there.

Click to enlarge. Sometimes I have mild dyslexia and read that word as ENRAGE. Then I laugh about it for a few minutes. It’s the simple things, people. Also it’s the simple people, things. Uh, what?

We played musical chairs but mostly Jen got the sweet spot on the couch. I’m a spazz so I was all over the place, naturally.

Mum she coveted my sandals. FTW.

Lots of great pics on ol mystery cam. I weedled it down as much as poss. I figure a once a year photo dump is okay.

Unintentional (bonus) pin-up swimmer pose.

And that bush looks like my bun or a dream bun.

I just fried my laptop! :( :( :( By spilt pop. Stupid stupid stupid. I just lost a chunk of this post too. PISSED.

Photolicious Butt creds go to @msjennybeth I’ma skidap I have to deal with my Acer TO HELL WITH FRIG ARGHHH.

Ooh luh la TO BE CONTINUED. This post was just not meant to be today.

Le Drop inspired by ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’

Just beautiful and you know I love my bubbly water (or you didn’t but now you do) I really do.

I want to be a big commercial star. Especially to be in something so “French auteur cinema with Hollywood’s mainstream appeal” such as this. I believe my eyebrows and face overall were made for dramatic film. Or at least that’s how it plays out in my mind. Plus, I dig the golden spacesuit quite a bit.

It’s ME Monday Woo Woo Make it count people!