This got a lot of views (for me) on twitter why do you think that is? I think it is because girls turn in to lesbians when they look at it and have to go back for a second look.

This night feels like ages ago. Live fast and document. I said that saying first. If it weren’t for photos I wouldn’t remember shit, maybe the bigger things but little things as in all the movies I watch in a week, couldn’t tell you more than a quarter of them. You do suffer memory booze loss, you do. But who needs to remember things? That is what blogs are for.

I look narcoleptic THAT’S BECAUSE I WAS. We were squabbling. If an experience like this gets ruined for me ever again there will be hell to pay, or instead of paying for Casie at Love a Heart you can pay for Heaven instead, me. heheh. Can’t wait going to be a rager.

I am a keeper (hoarder) of things. These bootie shorts have seen me through thick and thin and are quite flattering too bad they say CELEBRATE VODKA on the ass. Hey do you want to sponsor various body parts of mine too? I wonder when it will happen that me Lauren O and Casie are walking around in Nascar multi-brand style bomber jackets.

I realized I will have to un-scruff it a bit more next brunch at brazenhead but what about the goodlife fitness jogging pants slob babies? Fuck them too at least I am wearing jeans and swarovski earrings. I mean AT LEAST.

I showed this to Lucas and he couldn’t remember which girl I got it off of. I saw it sticking out of a drawer and was like hey! This is SO more mine than it is yours dude she tried to stop me and no dice hehehh. I bet you forgot too Bechnique until you saw a picture of it right meow but it’s ok because I stole you too loser. What are you up to tonight, it’s Cougar Night!

We ignore this floor entirely and hang on the one below as this landing space seems to be a junk pile of various seasonal items. It would be a a neat working space some day when Teacher can take the first floor back from my controlling hands. Don’t put money on it.

I do a mirror skinny check and mentally tabulate how much garbage I can get away with eating in a day and the trick is to go to bed starving, if I can successfully avoid night time munchies I can eat twice the next day, big portions, maybe even carbs. I’ve written countless diet advice posts and you have seen me yo-yo to and fro so whatever jackasses say or think about my styles, they are wrong. Look at their thighs and look at mine. No one who is chubby is allowed to tell you fuck all about food, alright? Alright. I am not being mean I am just being helpful and at the end of the day I get taken to task for everything, I don’t sugar coat or talk bullshit, you can trust and depend on my infinite wisdoms and if you need advice, yeah you can ask me.

Lotto and scratch tickets are the best and worst inventions ever. Keeps ‘em busy and dreamin’ the entire visit but then goes sour when the disappointment hits, which is why I got her Bailey’s.

Nice legs Tanya. Ooh and blog too! We will do that shoot together when you get back! Should I have my birthday party here? Duh!

Nice tuck.

Last night’s Siberian costume. The mirror upstairs was cleaned by me, this is not that mirror.

I looked super pale. I looked at my fingers in the bathroom of snack bar and never saw them so lacking in tan before, or any pigment. I try to avoid black because it makes you look older and paler but Teacher wore my other grey AA cardi he pretty much annexed and I am sick of figuring out winter outfits, the end of my winter styles is pure slob oriented as well as arrogance. I am so fine I can wear rags sewn together, if one relies on super cool fashion/style at all times, they are full of shit, lying, and over-compensating. Be comfortable and unique in your own skin and try standing out. Why are we most envious of natural beauty? Because dummy! If I were a contestant on Survivor my roots would grow out and I’d look like fraggle rock in seconds, I wouldn’t stop whining about it and then I’d get voted out. Someday in the future I will have natural hair colour again and it will rule and I will live in the sticks and eloquently complain about life there.

Anyway back to how pretty I find myself even when hung, very little sleep and, I must have put my eye spackle on right. Ps. I have a makeup give away coming up for the exact stuff I now exclusively use for warpaint and cannot live without and I will throw in a face buff scrub as well only because I love you and bribing you binds you TO ME FOREVER. Thank you Vasanti Cosmetics for helping me maintain the pretty I can never go back to Smaybelline ever again (only for mascara) and I am eagerly awaiting (desperately) my third tube of Vasanti V1 – yes I am that white and it still makes me a little bit Jersey Shore which I don’t mind because tanning season is right around the corner and it gives me a bit of a tint without having to tan my face and therefore age it. My mom says I have good skin because I never tanned my face thanks be to warpaint whore paint makeup shotgunning it for life. Yes I have natural beauty but I prefer to be camera ready always and even though our pretty milkmaid girlfriends look great in cable-knits and wellies on the farm, it doesn’t always translate well in photos with all those blue European veins bulging out of their temples and under eyes. Am I right? Always.

I felt bad when we bullied Janet about this cake being made of marzipan, then I had a taste and went oh, not marzipan. When I hang around my mother I turn in to a jerk.

Tassimo addiction or should I say, Crackimo? And hells yeah check them empties, how else do you get through winter, knitting? Pfft. This is many week’s worth collection I ain’t no Bukowski (but a Kerouac haha).

This resto ignored me on twitter and their server was annoying and bad so they are on the shit list for awhile, too bad, love a lot of their menu. Date night was also ruined by a friend who was going to meet up so we waited then, nothing. So naturally, we turned on each other oh joy!

I dressed like a Date Matriarch. I stuff my hair towels in to that rack, I want to redo this bathroom seeing as I photograph myself in this mirror all the time, needs more oomph.

Pizza I designed, haha designed is my word but it’s funny “designing” it online and adding more toppings and you have a pizza pie cartoon and the pizza toppings grow and grow like a a very shitty video game that you pay for and then turns in to reality that you eat! In that case Dominos is one of my favourite video games to play and one time we went to dominoes and started filling out all these pop-up contest surveys HAHAHAHAH and thankfully I stopped at credit card information. Sometimes smart people do stupid things. It is getting scarily closer to ALLTIMES. We still make fun of me for that.

This bitch just turned 35. I will look like Gargamel by the time I get there I hate you. I think all the snakes you ate in Texas did some magic on you after all.

I have to wrap this up I have a business meeting to get to and to see the golden dildo, find out who won, get back here and ready for COUGCRAWL 2012.

Happeh Birthgay best friend toilet paper!

We miss you already :(.

Bad photo quality but I wanted to get my skinny times. I am sorry if this is touted as clogging up the internets but I wasn’t aware that we were the only three bloggers with cellphones good looks and internet connections sidled by panache, talent, and creativity. Were you born yesterday and learned about self photo pride, go back to Myspace lady and you know what, anyone on this planet who doesn’t account for their time on it by marking it down and capturing their hard work, interests and style, is a fucking idiot. You make a living writing about people doing other things instead of doing things yourself. How unremarkable your footprint on this earth shall be.

It looks like the future the next day but it is still just as tasty. Teacher consumed 97% of it, I had 3%. White chocolate is still my favoured flavour mmmm.

Had one the day of this event and it saved me from food poisoning but unfortunately there would have been a lawsuit if I pointed fingers but is that not the duty of the media to report and investigate and also, where in the fuck is MY hush money then? I know a lot of people got sick and I demand answers because had I have taken my mom and Lois they definitely would have been sick too and then it would be ugly.

Colleague had his camera so my ass was covered but he doesn’t know intuitively what I am thinking all the time or ever so I like to take back ups.

My teeniness in reflection was astounding me, bordering on self obsession or am I not just a reflection of other’s obsession bordering on me?

Almost wore my batgirl liquid leather dress but glad that I didn’t. The cottonheads would get whiplash and fainting spells.

Sorry if this was boring or annoyed you, I wanted to post snack bar pics but they’re on teacher’s phone. I had to eat an entire scotch egg because he is such a finicky eater, likewise the steak tartare. He can do oysters now thankfully.

See how she leaves her phone everywhere? I don’t have the attention span to put things down, I learned that during xmas shopping mania so don’t do it.

My head is too tiny for these big shades now announcing to the world, “doesn’t look good” on the other side of them. But I did a whole photoshoot this day so we know that wasn’t the case.

Drumsticks take forever and everything gets burned off so you have to reapply jerk sauce (we have 10 different bottles of it) but the chicken turns out uber-succulent

Space improvisation.

If I cut this, it will frey right?

Wonder what these evil bitches are up to now.