Monthly Archives: September 2011

Ladies don’t get stuff done

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The tire parts were hard, and tiring cos everything on the apparatus swings once you grasp it and if you see the ropes attached to the tire, doesn’t take much from a person to make it all difficult on top of being very still as can be so you don’t make the tire wobble while maneuvering up and on to it. Your arms get tired.

Now don’t get me started on how much I love fall again. Fall, farmer’s markets and everyone in their finest vintage sweater sets and H&M babies, this season was made for walking around and sampling tomatoes from eccentrics. I have pages of photos and commentary to get to after a doggily walkily on this fine Sunday Funday. As you were.

Hey dorks who read the internet on Saturday

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I guess I’ll update today, fuh-ine.

I climbed a 130 foot tall thing today amidst a hangover. That’s me hitting the base. I tried to quit three times from exhaustion, not fear. Ok ok the publicity stunt is over. Cue more families gathering at the bottom to watch. Haha. In my head I was thinking of Fear Factor and Survivor. I make fun of weaklings on those shows all the time who can’t push themselves through challenges so this was an opportunity to see how difficult it really is. And, it is. I am not as in shape as I once was, yeah I’m slim but I don’t train anymore “professionally”. I just run and dance and do weights on my own and that seems to be enough for now.

The rocky sway of the ropes and ladders combined with my rag doll balance totally synched up. I am not a pussy, so never forget that. This was a moment for Raymitheminx TV. My spotter Claire was amazing, everyone was so friendly. Too bad I am suspicious of friendliness ahaha. Thanks Outward Bound Canada. Can I join your organization? I’m not sure I can climb stuff like, everyday though. Maybe just every other day. Oh yeah I was like what is with you people, the ground just isn’t enough? They liked me.

Everyone liked my docs and attitude. They wouldn’t let me quit when I tried to pack it in. My arms were blown out by the time I reached the top. There are reflective moments of pause along your journey upward when you are like, I am completely insane, everybody is watching, my colleague is photographing, they know I can do this so why do I have to keep doing this how do I jimmy up that tire, more ropes next time you design this please. It’s a full body work out, all my strength is in my legs but luckily I am agile and have mega-fitness know-how thanks to TMR so I knew how not to over-exert myself, take a deep breath between transferring weight from legs to arms, legs to arms, legs to arms pulling myself up like a monkey or mario up a ladder during a battle level.

Remove your rings. I even removed my bra. I am way scrappier without that thing on. Next time I will need gloves so my hands won’t be so sore or cold.

I’ve wall climbed and zip-lined before so I knew that I would not die or fall and these guys would bust their asses keeping me safe so there is no reason to be a-feared at all. Looking down at others gathering to watch who all have scared looks on their faces is a good feeling of accomplishment. Full on emasculating rounds of Dads in one fell swoop. And then I fell. Lols no I didn’t I just get punnier with age. Better too, like wine.

That one guy recognized me from Parkdale somewhere. It’s neat seeing people you see on the street and know absolutely nothing about really other than they get coffee from Cherry Bomb or, they have a friend with Buddy Holly glasses at Parts ‘n Labour and then you bump into them at your own gig and it’s like, hey, wait a minute What’s going on here! You drink coffee! I figured it out. People are stupid like that.

I look like I am going spelunking. Not after that friggin’ Descent movie, thanks a lot and you couldn’t think of a better word than spelunking?

They care so much at Brickworks it’s a really very special place. These pipes are rivers/water table flowing through Southern Ontario up on that wall, it is gigantic and impressive. I sent Rob last year in my stead to the picnic I will be attending this year. I am a year behind in foodie world thanks to not going last year. I was working on my book up in the boonies at the time. Tyler you should get a ticket to this event.

This picture blows but that’s the place. You see it from that DVP place that’s all confusing and scary and extreme off ramps going this way and that. They made bricks here in case you didn’t get it. Arlene Stein (she’s a VBD)(very big deal) gave me a tour today and told me all about it. I like her. She’s hot and geeky and cares about stuff for real not just for pretend like some of us half of the time, at times. Haha my new thing is triple-double negatives and WHOOSH! Where did I go?

I have to learn how to pose with a slimmer face, lots is going on? The helmet and adrenaline sweat made my hair go funny. I bet that guy in front of me has an Austin or something. I had a grilled cheese and onion sandwich and became 25% more likeable afterward. I can go on fumes but my personality sure can’t.

Note to self: I am not a Vet and Cats don’t like wearing outfits in the form of band aids adhered to their fur, but to be fair I added a cotton pad for gauze. Teacher performed the in-grown nail extraction surgery. Still taking her to the vet. I am gunning for Lady Garbage being submitted as her name so that I can have an antibiotic bottle with LADY GARBAGE printed on it. Seeing animal names on pill labels is hilarious. MR. JINGLES cat medicine (whatever it’s called) or Robert Pommer (for a pomeranian Addicted to love fan/owner ahaha).

This looked pretty to me yesterday. My nail polish removing ritual.

I dunno if I posted this particular one yet. I take several.

My brother and Linda came by last night to see the game and then party at ours. I sent him a picture of my little climbing adventure and he was like !!!!!!!!!!!!! He has a heights phobia. When I left this morning he was here still so it must have been funny an hour later getting a photo text of my ridiculous adventures, it was. That’s why I did it ahaha no other reason than spite. We had a fight about how when I punched him in the head that one time it never even hurt. It’s my favourite story to tell and he insists it didn’t hurt. I am having trouble accepting this. My left hook hurt for DAYS.

Did not at all appreciate the irony of Hello Kitty band aids. Well maybe this is why you de-claw the bastards. OMG don’t start PETA. MMmmm Peta chips.

Happy Saturday!

I am in paradise in the mind

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Hehehh next time when I am not too busy paying extreme and utter business attention I will draw a better ‘stache. A hitler one. DUH! No wait, for all that Movember crap do any dudes do that?

Be my dumpling.

So delish.

Toronto’s not so bad eh.

WANT.

I like the colour of my eyebrows right now.

Stew was all, Raymi, you may have something here with this bear thing. Uh duh.

I am clearly animal. Covered in platinum hair. Hahaehh. That’s the petit scandinavian lineage.

Kawaii super.

This conceited moment is courtesy of a phenom hair day. The tresses are getting longer. The longer the hair, the more power I have like the King of the Sea of all the mermaids.

Goth missionaries. Something out of Tim Burton. Hi we are from the Church of Satan. Colleague and I stared at them, they stared back. The skinny guy had black patches over his Emo grayscale tweed blazer and he was reading verses. Our car burst into flames aagggh. MISSIONSCARIES!

I have thick french eyebrows. They are painted gold now. I am the Scissor sisters tour outfit model-incarnate.

Streaming Survivor last night. How I am so built for that show. I would marry an american so I could get on it. I’m very scrappy and limber and insane I could so do all of the puzzles and challenges, eat the weird stuff, the social game, the mind f-ing. Someday.

Dynasty moment with my old buddy Sean Ward and a VIP Sushi Delivery. Damn I so gangster. Thanks Umami Sushi!

Went for a rasta run at some point. One of the things I will be missing most of all thanks to so long summer. Boo. Ok Friday Night lights lets do it right! Gonna watch Jersey Shore cannot wait, our friends! (we watch it when it’s online at our own leisure). Big Brother were my old friends til they died off one by one, but now we have new ones in Survivor. Omg I am so common I dig it. I greatly relate and identify with reality television and am so envious of Jeff Probst’s life now that I have wanderlust in travel, exile, and tropics. I am in paradise in the mind when I watch anything blue ocean or palm tree-related. Watching Jersey Shore feels like a vacation too. Can’t wait to branch out to European hot spots sometime.

Kay have a great evening,

xoxo

Cool Branding 101

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(video removed so the following is relevant to a shirt I was wearing in it).

I will retire this song from my blog now. This is the second part of it when she really rips her. That was the most expensive shirt I bought ever really that I can think of. My Smythe blazer was purchased with free money ($1000 gift card to holts renfrew!) so I don’t know if it counts cos it’s not out of pocket. It was almost $800. Then it went viral a week later, the label, by kate middleton selecting it while visiting toronto. The same happened with my monster bikini which every girl I know said they tried it on or saw it, everyone wants to glom off the mainstream or affix themselves to it. Yeah but DID you buy it? No you di’in’t. There is no denying that I am a trendsetter, an originator and early-adopter. Getting to things first, is not only an obsession, it’s a compulsion. When you live on the beat, at the pulse, in a city or largely I feel, born with it (a cool gene) this is where the compulsion comes from. It is ingrained. Debate me all you like about this alleged coolness but you’re wrong.

It’s a skill. You can’t purchase cool just like Douglas Coupland said purchased experiences don’t count. What about all the rich guys in the world, what’s next? Celebrity. Not satisfied til “it all” is all attained. I know I am not stopping until I am in a feature film, big one. Even if it kills me and it most certainly will.

I am having one of those and now what do I talk about moments because at the moment I am immersed in 4 separate projects. Half the shit I am presently doing in life I should have been doing years ago. I think the city would have swallowed up and spat out a 19 year old trying to lead a burlesque troupe, I was too green, too young. Now I am ready. I want to, as usual, blab about every detail about these projects because I am hyper and excitable and proud. My edginess gets the better of me, bests me and I decided to stop obstacling myself. Yesterday I flipped out and said if I can’t undo my image (colleague said it doesn’t happen over night) then I may as well throw in the social media towel cos this is bulls-t.

My traffic is better. My rank is HIGHER. My legend, older. People are actually reading my blog so it tells me they just don’t think people have the capacity to change. The raciest thing about me is my tits. Which haven’t been seen in ages. I love children and animals. I am no phoney.

My legacy it will be Rock and writing. Maybe some art too. How f-ing cool no? You know who is in to that? Kids. I have a niece who is 13. You want to sell things to these tots, they are reading Raymbo just so you know. They follow where cool is and I’m sorry to break it to you but IT IS RIGHT HERE.

I don’t toot my own horn too often cos in my experience I have found that is when things sincerely go to shit but I am just glad to hear that others have been and sometimes karma has a way of biting you. A pal said we don’t congratulate ourselves too much, or enough. So maybe I’ll do just that. I busted my ass this week, so cheers to ya if ya did too!

XOXO Yours, Raymbo.

Ps. Here’s my runway and said blazer. FIERCE!

Raymitheminx TV

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Some of my Swarovski pieces. Hahaha pompous a-hole. That ribcage chest in the bg is from a broken UO necklace, it was awesome until Red Flag broke it in a partying at central black out dance vortex.

Kate Spade is a classy broad. Looked online at what this purse is selling for $290. Ooh la la.

LES is thataway. Loved this pair.

It was an interesting hair day.

Drinking and Draking General storing is deadly. Everything seems like a good idea at the time.

Yours for $80.

Blog slave what did I tell you about twitter?

I got my toms here (majorly reduced too) before every wiener in the city got theirs. They’re kind of mega dangerous to walk in IMO.

I live on a canadian the epitome of postcard, those look like logs to me. Train tracks stacked I think. Burly eh. Plus the glorious gladstone hotel.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I never eat french fries (your heart looks like a pile of french fries you dumb asses) but I ate these like a raccoon on speed. spicy mayomg.

This Swiss guy (I read this on an airplane therefore it must be true) said that the concentration of creative people in a city exchanging ideas, (unlike all the too cool designy intellects on the drake patio NOT talking to each other) the more prosperous that city. This is why I talk to every one, person, place and thing. I blew one guy away with a kate spade packet of matches. It’s the little things.

I bought that book. The pen, Stew almost made off with. Would you tip that person more if they handed you a Swarovski pen when the bill came? SPARKLES OMG YES 25%! Btw tipping rule is, in the city it’s 20%, suburbs, 15% But if you want to floss it all places then 20% is cool. Not that I pay for anything ever haha.

Preparing for battle.

That’s my Sienna Miller fake-outfit. The hat is from Valency, her husband is in the Air Force and she sent me three jumpsuits we used to party in. My one (the smallest) bit the dust when I went Paint-balling. I took out two teams independently like a nutcase and looked back behind me like totally aghast by what I had just sole-heartedly accomplished not being normal. It was the absinf, in the words of Russell Brand.

This suit was actually in combat and their unit was in the first Transformers movie in the beginning. The “owners” at paintball (guys who need to paintabll every weekend because they’re in the army or cops or the terminator) thought I was an “owner” too. Nope, just mental. I rolled through the sand like Nick Nolte and in hindsight, paintball was terrifying.

I have an interestingly shaped head, it’s a diamond when I lose weight and heart-shaped when I party.

My high end mac and hash browns with tomato.

Ok I’ll keep it.

Off to a lunch meeting. TGI-EFF!