let 2010 be the year of poor choices. or, just choices period. i have to learn how to get out of my head a little better and fall down a bit. i’ve been trying hard (kinda bullshit) for too long so now i’m just going to lighten up.
lately we’ve been discussing how much we hate ourselves for pissing away our talents. being lazy. pissing away talent is such a fucking luxury and it’s awful. depression is a luxury too. more on that later though. think about how many people who would die to be where you are right now. you do whatever you can to make it here then you arrive and just sit around on your ass for too long. i’m shaking my head right now about it. when i was 19 and fucking up for my first time i said a book must come out of all this or it’s all for naught. what a giant waste of my life but a book can remedy it all. now here i am again with new city eyes some-odd eight years later beating my dead horse. i better not blow it again.
my greatest regret in life is allowing my laziness to get in the way of everything. my outright avoidance of putting in the slightest extra bit of effort into anything i do. i know i should be achieving and accomplishing more and i hate myself for not. for letting people get in the way of my life, for focusing on them instead of myself because if i focus on myself then i’m forced to look at myself and that’s the last thing i want to do. i spend way more time than i ought to worrying about things that will never happen.
here’s a saying i learned a long time ago: if you can do something about a situation, there is no sense in worrying about it but, if there is nothing that can be done about the situation, worrying will also do you no good. so don’t worry.
last weekend at work a group of guys were ordering tequila shots and the leader of the pack says oh wait one more for GORGEOUS GEORGE so i turn around and turns out gorgeous george is the opposite of gorgeous. so oppositely gorgeous he’s gorgeous, and gorgeous george was spoken with an aussie accent so it sounded like butter in my ears. it was perfect.
from now on i’m going to wrap up blog posts with stupid unrelated stories.