one love united two bodies synchronizin’

Hello Raymi dearest. Do you remember when I use to call you an asshole all the time on viceland? Haw! The key to the internet is to talk at people and never respond to them. Never answer questions. Never acknowledge. Just at at at. The creepy lurker doesn’t exist. You’re not supposed to write a fucking post about him.

Billy Mystery

Good point. Honestly I was just passing time stoned jeez people think I’m slitting my wrists over it. Which vice fuck were you there’s billions.

Hint: I wasn’t Lloyd.

I’m not sure if I like you now, I just don’t feel like being mean anymore because I’m really mature.

You took the ball and ran with it. I want to see what happens. You don’t seem to have a plan.

I have no fucking clue who you are and no I don’t have a plan because I have a life.

Course not. There were billions. How can your write a goddam blog for a decade and then say you have no plan because you “have a life.”

Miscommunication. I’m too blasted right now for how deep this might get.

N-joy. xo

How are u even following my bullshit still

What do you mean? Like how would I be bothered to?

I dunno. I just place vice history in a diff compartment of my brain entirely. I’m loads more sensitive since then.

Who could forget, the entire letters section was reserved for driving a train up your ass. Anyway, it’s well past bedtime in my land. goodnite (I’m loads more sensitive too).

you’ve been blogged

can’t wait to see your photos brett.

you just have to see her

this is the last picture taken on my camera before i packed’er in for the nite. met up with allison and talked her head off. she was very interested in single raymisms.

later on we bumped into gill oh what a treat that was.

painted lady throws a mardi gras every tuesday so fun.

back to business.

ok lesson learned sorry for sounding like a giant pussy yesterday it’s nice to know you prefer tough mouth screaming at you blog personae so lets roll with that from now on right after i address some emails. (pussy out a little more first). honestly i wasn’t at home so i couldn’t work with photos for content so i was mostly just passing time being a whiner. i have an immediate reaction to things, express them, then move on. thanks for your patience.

but in the meantime, here is a poll because someone requested it and i am a nice guy and live to please. i am also a big fan of bullshit distraction.

which is your favourite finger?
pinky (mine are warped and crooked)
ring finger (I’ve ruined my life)
middle (UP yours a-hole!)
pointer (kinda gay if you ask me also, fuck off with your pointing all the time RUDE).
thumb. yeah shut up it’s not a finger but it’s still on your hand, dickhead.
Free polls from

i can’t make up my mind with this one. i think i really liked my thumb back when i sucked it all the time but then i moved on to middle, then ring, then pointer and my pinkies always hold a special place in my heart cos they’re so mangled what to do what to do. i’ll wait to vote once other people start casting theirs.

yesterday we did the national post photos and i wore the most unseasonable dress ever and swam in it. it’s the dress i bought around xmas when i should have been buying presents for people who aren’t me. i’ve lost weight since then so it’s like a giant snuggie diaper on me. i bet it’ll shrink up. i was in the shower and thought to myself from now on i am going to live (and dress) like summer is never coming, why save a dress? like oprah said, burn those fancy candles now what are you waiting for the fucking pope to come over? cos he’s never coming over. sorry. it would be nice if she said that verbatim. but you know what i mean. don’t wait just act and act now. i am not a fan of waiting. i’ve always been a blurter and to my detriment that’s where i am most selfish of all, i have to say it no matter what the consequences. i release it unto the world and that’s how i am able to carry on and heal from it otherwise i walk around pent up like the rest of yous. that shit will give you cancer guy, so just say it. tell her you love her tell him you hate him tell them they hurt you and you’re not taking it anymore, what’s the hold up?

gill and i compared big mouth notes last nite. i told her friend that i am probably the only other person who is just as obnoxious as gill and gill was like yeah that is actually true. she stopped an entire dinner service at the drake to toast everybody. i was like what were you celebrating? winterlicious. fuck i love gill. then she toasted everybody on the patio too.

Hey Raymi,

I used to read your blog all the time but I was distracted by other things for a while and missed all these big changes in your life. I don’t want to bring up things you probably don’t want to hear about from strangers, but kinda wanted to send you a hug. When I was feeling really bummed out a while back, we had a chat on gchat and you gave me some suggestions on how to cheer myself up and they really worked. I think it’s sad about you and fil, but I’m impressed with how you’re handling it, you are really strong and mature.

I guess I figured it’d be a good time for you to hear from other people how amazing you are. I don’t know you in person, but obviously because of reading the blog I feel like I’ve been following your life a bit. What’s kept me coming back is that you are incredibly talented. Really artistic, and really intelligent, but you’re also able to channel that into a format that people can understand and appreciate even if they are not particularly intelligent or artistic. It’s entertaining and interesting, and sometimes thought-provoking. The other thing I like about you is that you are a renegade. You push the boundaries and you are yourself unapologetically. I feel like I can relate to that a bit, although I am probably outwardsly at least a very different person. Probably like many other people I wish I was more like you in some ways, less given to doing what I think is expected of me. But that’s beside the point.

When I was bummed out you suggested dancing around to music, trying on new/different outfits and some other stuff I can’t quite remember. It was all very immediate, and it worked. It was good advice. I wanted to write to you and give you something back, it’s hard because you seem so self-aware but maybe based on my observations of your observations of yourself I could come up with something. So I thought I’d point out that I think you have a lot of talent, and it would be cool if you could hone it even more. Maybe you could take an art class of some kind, photography or film-making or something. Maybe that’s too conventional for you, but I was thinking you could learn new techniques and skills that you could put into practice to make something really impressive. You have musical talent too, maybe you could join a band as the singer, take singing lessons to increase your range and practice. Or start your own band for which you could write the songs and sing and have like a bassist and a drummer on board, and maybe someone with a tambourine or cymbals or something who could do back up vocals. I feel like you know you’re talented and you want to share it, but you also get scared of really ‘givin ‘er’, so you’ll sing a little and dance a little, but you’ll cover your face with your hair, or wear shades, or do something else in the middle to show you’re not taking it seriously and you’re just goofing around. Everyone gets scared and fear holds us back, but someone once said bravery is not having no fear, but being afraid and doing it anyway. I think maybe you need to push yourself more, invest in yourself, do stuff that’s hard for you instead of just what is easy for you because you are so good at it already. So that’s my advice anyway. I’ve come to really like you over the years, and I hope one day we get to meet. Maybe when you’re on tour in the UK I’ll come get your autograph ;-)

Ok, that’s all. Sorry if that came off heavy or patronizing in any way, it’s not meant to be, and I do think what you’re doing already is amazing, and mainly I just wanted to tell you that, but I know like all artists you probably want to do something even better or just different and new, and so the second part of this is just my encouragement on that score.



we will address more blond in my next post ok? can you tell my eyebrows are lighter? not a huge difference, pretty subtle. until the roots grow out at least.

focusing on myself and talking about myself, thinking about myself, BEING myself is exhausting a lot of the time. i also feel like the most self-absorbed person in the world right now. for the last entire life of mine for the most part i’ve been making decisions based on two people. should we do this, can we do that, how about the other thing, where should we go what will we eat, how much will it cost, am i pretty enough, is he into me on and on for years and even then i felt pretty self-absorbed but now that i get to plan for me and me alone i feel hyperly-selfish. trying to get used to it. i think my writing and showmanship has all changed for the better since, not to dog anyone but i was always checking in before hitting publish always editing and over-thinking and making sure i didn’t go too far. i feel free now and i feel high from that a lot. i think they call it independence. i do think that life is better (best) experienced shared with others but yeah, it’s also nice to be alone too. if you don’t like my choices you can fuck off out of here then. brilliant!

see how diapery. saving the “better” pictures for next post.

i definitely have fears (and crazy moments of shyness) about art and moving forward and i love my safety bubble for sure but it’s nice to feel like you’re falling sometimes. i like not knowing what’s next. i worry about ok if my roommates want to move away what the fuck will i do about it? people back themselves into worry corners so that they don’t have to do anything or change, they think that this is it and this life is laid out before them before they’ve even lived it and there’s no way to change it so may as well accept it now and carry on. as if. so as much as i’m all look at me go look at me evolve, i’m still a pretty big hypocrite most of the time, but i’m trying to fix that. at one point i think i accepted the possibility that this is as big as i’m ever going to be so give it a rest maybe. i fight with that daily actually. like i’m supposed to be seeking out venture capitalists and telling them about this NEXT BIG THING and I’M IT lets turn your $3 million into $6million! ha. that’s just not how it works anymore (maybe i should go on dragon’s den?). unless i brand this more, make a magazine, get a movie, a show, i dunno. you can only blog for so long really. i mean i know how compulsive i am so i will likely do it forever but i so totally have to stop. i’m giving myself another year to “make it” and if it doesn’t happen then i’m getting married and pregnant (not) i just went against everything i said up there. clem says if i’m working at the central in a year then i have failed. he’s right. he wants us to stay but he wants us to have dreams too.

well wasn’t this a total mess of a post jeez.

i keep smelling weed and i can’t tell if it’s the subletters downstairs or my own. it woke me up out of sleep actually. i think they’re french or something. the chick downstairs who lives there is off in montreal for a bit…WORKING ON FUBAR 2! i would die to hang with deaner and i think it might happen. cool to travel to montreal just to hang with the fubar guys or should i make up some other reason first like um, blog business haha.

snowshoes and hunters

meredith was enchanted by melodie’s vitamin 101ing me in the kitchen and said we should recreate it so this farty barely-audible awkward clip is awkward for reasons. i was having anxiety this day, lack of sleep, can’t remember what was bugging me, and i didn’t have much time to fuck around before work so here i am putting back 8 pills at once with a grolsch. i make a stupid http joke ughhh i wish i could control the stupid things that come out of my mouth.

i’d just like to jay and silent bob a motherfucker sometime, from the bottom of my cold black heart, i mean that. i’d like to know who the giant loser is who one-stars all my videos before i even blog them. cool life guy. nah it’s probably an ugly girl but it’s not like my videos are cannes-worthy or anything here, get real. i’m trying to wrap my head around what it’s like being a net lurking hater. do you know what it feels like having to deal with little penises at your heels every fucking day? i’m good for weeks and weeks but once i hit pre-menstrualtown you all start looking like violent strangle fantasies of mine. not you all the OTHER you all.

oh here’s a way to describe it. every time i sit down here i know i’m writing to two sets of people split right down the middle. one half really digs me, the other half does not. so i’m like trying to play into that every post i post, which is why i cop this snarky defensive back is up tone quite often. i have to stop that. it isn’t healthy. this is what the internet does to you. i’m not complaining i know i KNOW it comes with the territory but i’ve said this before, just because you can do something, access people, harrass the shit out of them, doesn’t mean you should. you shouldn’t stop being a human, being normal, because an invisibility cloak is doled-out with every fucking modem.

the worst part is, the little skeeve who leaves the shit comment, one-stars my shit, whatever, is getting a huge thrill off all this negative attention too, like right now they’re psychotically cracking their knuckles staring into the monitor, grinning like the grinch, masturbating with onion skins. sickitating. so you can’t win if you make fun of them and you cant win if you let it go because they still “got to you” in some way. however, they’re nothing special, at all. which is why they do what they do. they’re nameless faceless spineless little wieners who just want some recognition and nothing they do is original. sorry guy there’s more where you came from. my favourite brand of hater is the one who puts some effort into it, knows why i suck and the reasons why i do not suck, and is not just jumping on the bandwagon for company. this type is, while borderline insane, rather intelligent, self-aware, misguided, deluded, and hurting for some reason. i become their punching bag as i am a force and they feel obliged to reckon with me all the way.

one more thing about my videos, some people don’t “get” them and have expressed this to me in the past. why did i film myself putting on makeup for 5 minutes, it doesn’t go anywhere. it doesn’t matter what the video is of, the point of it is that it exists period. we’re all islands out here, some people live in total isolation and therefore appreciate a little vapid vignette now and again. someone, somewhere, will watch it and like it. i’m doing a fucking service here.

alright i’m exhausted by this now, did i tell you guys i tinted my eyebrows? 26 going on a 46 year old orange county cougar xoxo.

How do you feel about Raymi?
I love Raymi.
I hate Raymi.
Ambivalent. Just cruising by non-comittal-like.
Free polls from


canada (ontario specifically) rules and today is one example thereof. we don’t have enough lazy days between christmas and march break so lets invent a bullshit holiday and call it family day yeah yeah we’ll say we’re going to spend time with our families but really we’ll just lay around hungover wishing we made it to the beer store in time before it closed on sunday. but to people like me who work never it’s kind of a meh, unnecessary holiday. i mean, i always appreciate more people being available to dick the dog with but really, family day is a bit rich. years from now no one will even question what it is, they’ll forget how new the holiday is and it’ll be like how valentine’s day was invented. i can’t wait til hallmark creates HAPPY FAMILY DAY cards. do it already. here’s your rhymey message:



on this cherished day
family day
we come together to celebrate how obnoxious it is for this holiday to exist at all
it would be cool if the lcbo were open
please don’t talk to me for the rest of the night you make me sick

what kind of picture would you pair with that? a television with rabbit ears, a stressed out mom and a fat dad sitting in a recliner and two bored teenagers playing nintendo DS’s.

poor john is spending time with his family today oh isn’t that nice. no really it is i don’t know why i’m doing dick voice right now i’m actually quite content, i have the house to myself for two days ahhh.

it’s kinda fucked up that i have a picture i took of the WTC burning framed right? i asked fil about it once, i had that on my side table for years. he said it wasn’t fucked up. too much time has passed for me to take it out now.

second hand wii fit has parental controls on it so we can’t change the country to USA (imperial) so i have to convert kilos every time, kinda takes the fun out of it yet adds some too, mostly mystery. ooh i’m underweight which magic number will it be today? this raymii is way too exotic and tanned i can’t remember the eyes i used for the other miis i’ve made before. i also captured her blinking.

v day dinner was exquisite. then we had some niacin and the nite was ruined for a little while there. man up guy! the niacin flush was a little much truth be told, i’m still cringing about it.

melodie’s ring.

learning, getting there. melodie is a nutrionist. we’re going to design a plan for me to get rid of the dark circles beneath my eyes. i am sick of wearing tons of makeup to mask my allergy shiners.

aw thanks happy venereal disease day from your third wheel.

oh fuck you guys (lucas) i haven’t used one dish here yet or cooked one meal.

we were looking for black panther poses to copy off google and it got funny i guess.

how do i make it so when i check emails on my laptop they get deleted/checked on my BB as well? tired of having to re-read everything on that thing. i am sick of the flashing red light in my peripheral vision most of all.

keyword blog (search) analysis of the moment:

raymi the minx
and raymi!
raymi the min
raymi lauren
everythings fucken closed on family day
vagina cookie
i know you better than you know
raymi my grandma
notorious blog

a stupid mission and a lethal fight

so blonde it’s offensive. disgusting. i feel sorry for everyone who has to look at it. you have to prepare yourself for the attention holy fuck porno hair. ridiculous. have overheard several men’s comments about it, i know, so bizarre. i don’t feel like a blond person but am slightly enjoying the shift in reactions it feels obnoxious to go on about it. everyone assumes i am obnoxious so i may as well go ahead and fill the part no? this blog is the only place i can exercise it most freely so fuck it and in real life i am a meek nervous mouse with manners a plenty. whatever i’m the subject here and now i have retarded hair. too bad my personality ruins everything and those are the people i feel sorry for most of all in this equation as they see a flash of yellow and i assume make assumptions in their head, then open goes my mouth and ugh why does that girl sound like a dump truck going through a nitroglycerin plant? blonds don’t sound like that. blonds are supposed to be sunny californian dough heads. pretty much. so in summation, you’re welcome for fuckin’ with your (head) game you docile little lambs. the next phase is to go more natural golden and we no longer have to lift any colour aside from the brassy that’s left over, can’t go at it all at once otherwise my hair will fry. can you believe that i was fully black just last july?

HOMELESS CHIC. melodie says i’m not trendy (like a hipster) but i have my own thing going on. how would you classify my style? is it its own thing or is it easily comparable? i think for the most part it’s 10% trying and 90% whatever i see first and BAM so embarrassed you invited me along girl. i’m often wearing at least 15 different colours at once. otherwise it’s everything matches too much. or accidental mess fusion somehow comes together? basically i have no idea what to wear right now and i fear i’m bordering putting something absolutely fab or absolutely fug together. red tights should be a no today, yeah?

i started out this post intending to evasively send a message to some valentines i didn’t want knowing were my valentines, were my, anythings, but then i started talking about myself again LOOK OUT!

I don’t know what you’re looking for
you haven’t found it baby, that’s for sure
You rip me up you spread me all around
in the dust of the deed of time

And this is not a case of lust, you see
it’s not a matter of you versus of me
It’s fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it’s always me alone

And I’m losing my favourite game
you’re losing your mind again
I’m losing my baby
losing my favourite game

I only know what I’ve been working for
another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
but my experiment is not getting us anywhere

I had a vision I could turn you right
a stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
my heart is black and my body is blue

And I’m losing my favourite game
you’re losing your mind again
I’m losing my favourite game
I’ve tried but you’re still the same
I’m losing my baby
you’re losing a saviour and a saint

raymi’s special olympics opening ceremony

the bag before soared elegantly through the nite right into the bin but then i over-thought this one. cool effort. next time i’ll throw myself in after.

ryan bigge mentioned me in the star today. (we sort of used to hang out years ago, same crowd of people, what happened to everybody?) coincidentally, clem said i was the most famous poor person, recently. fuck that! basically, i give away way too much free content and i’m tired of hearing about it. i’m going to have to start doing something about that. CASH IS KING. i need a regular column so i can bring you guys over there once a week to read something a little more legible and then that publication can benefit from my serious traffic. deal? nice doing business with future you.

i’m a giant pig. oh, mistletoe. i’m masking an anxiety attack in this photo.

what? why do cats stare at you like you’re the idiot? THEY’RE THE ONES PERCHED ON A FUCKING GARAGE.

loving the passive aggressive tag fights all over reverb. oh look a harajuku girl.

brennen demelo always has the best magazines to cruise through.

rose is my hair girl. i will never cheat on you again. well maybe only with myself.

bar fly. more like BARF LY. kidding kidding. bet you little wieners would love to hear all about this shit eh? muahaha. OMG CALL NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC.

so so greasy last nite was such an all over steam room experience. thankfully i always bring multiple shirts to change into.

have to go as long as possible without washing it.

these kids made it for last call. i thought french club was fridays?

omg know parking shut up pretentious gay loser. (actually it’s funny i like it).

alright gorgeous town here i come. i’ve been listening to blur baked for so long my right foot is numb (honest injun position). lucas made us v day breakfast. a year ago today i was engaged. we’re better people for it now though i can’t help but feel like a total piece of shit most of the time.

oh yeah totally forgot the reason for the blur mention. i was a super fan from grade 7 til i lost my viginity (15) so if you can tell me what my blur-related nickname was i will mail you a surprise box of junk. first correct answer wins!

attractive photo contest winner

after/before hair. i sat in a salon chair for houuuurs today.

many great faces came in to visit old raymbo tonite it was super enjoyable. kamilla got two phone numbers. i got one last nite (hey dude). teppei and i discussed how we have adrenaline pumping when we get off work and go home. my mind goes a million miles a minute it takes at least an hour to slightly come down. i feel like how axel rose feels. wait was that axel rose? but anyway lets pretend that’s who i’m thinking of. so i feel like axel rose after a g’n’r concert except um yeah i can’t finish this joke but know this, lucas and melodie are hangin’ in my room right now havin’ brews and lucas at the exact same time said axel rose as i typed it i can’t be bothered to ask what the fuck he was talking about i don’t want to have to type AXEL ROSE one more time. uggggggggh. now mel wants to go as slash/axel for halloween. why not? i already look like brett michaels anyway. not so much of a stretch after that.

my laptop power cord got yanked out, laptop died, they made fun of me, i thought ok if this shit is deleted it’s a sign. it wasn’t. so here you go goodnite.

the keeper of jennifer’s body

Photos by britt

it’s funny when i do headcase posts all the headcases come out to hang, it’s rewarding. that’s a sure way to pull in some traffic. BLOG YOUR FEEEELINGS. there’s many things i want to address in the comments but haven’t had the time. it’s frustrating reading comments thru my blackberry and not being able to react other than to just publish and file away for later but i guess you guys can help me out in that department and talk amongst yourselves.

have a hair appt later today thank fuck there’s just no way around looking greasy when you have metre-long roots. i worked the upstairs bar last nite, kinda quiet up there. good for french practising as friday is french club nite. i stomped on one of these guy’s feet once accidentally, he flirtily pretended it hurt so i played along and proclaimed en-croy-a-bluh! in my least shittiest faux francophone accent and i think i pulled it off as an awed hush tidal wave of silence overcame the frenchies and it was like the sun of a million boners setting for miles and miles amongst them. oh la la elle parle français?

oh yeah the top left pic of me on the shag rug is kind of a hat tip to a photo jamie took of me years ago when i was 19 i’ll go scare it up. i start a lot of conversations with when i was 19. i packed a lot of bullshit into that formative year. i did. here‘s the photo, dunno why i can’t right click it, cool settings jamie.

ok fucktits lets do this shit.