how to get free whiskey: pretend to be a whiskey identifying big shot. once you’re buzzed you can’t really distinguish shit, well i thought i could but second-guessed plenty, went against my instincts. also it’s been awhile since i’ve hit the irish apple juice.

prawn blt and pig ear salad.

i like the eyeballs in the bar.

this is a dance move. you flap at your face really fast while jumping on the spot to the beat of the music. i am cool.

looking back on my photos from the other nite made me realize that we were hanging with children and i suddenly feel very old. total baby face over there on the left jesus.

sorry!

the blow job face is spreading throughout the staff.

needs more asian.

perfect. clem thinks i got swindled in buying a bath chain necklace but teppei knows it’s legit vintage as it has weight, old school jewelry is heavy. new cheap shit is light.

this is how i will win the phone number contest.

the rest of my photos are just variations of all the same crap go into my flickr if you’re feeling bored and nosy like i know you are.

god i’m pissed today. i love how people love to meddle in shit that has absolutely fuck all to do with them. please get your own lives, thank you.

i am wearing the most amazing pants right now courtesy of melodie. major highwaisters, v hippie and i was just admiring the bartender’s highwaisted pants at squirlys and thought fuck, i need to wear pants like that behind the bar like yesterday and blammo, here i am. not exactly sitting and eating jeans but whatever, nothin’ wrong with unbuttoning these suckers for some gunt room hidden under the covers right now.

just spent a relaxing time at poor john’s with mel, such a good spot. i am really diggin’ on this neighbourhood and can’t wait for bicycle season. bring it.

that h&m bag was not mine. that chamomile tea is probably the gayest thing i have ever ordered. my late nite dinner companion profusely agreed. i ordered a glass of merlot to balance it out. actually merlot is pretty gay too.

i don’t know why we stash the crown in the back and not up on the shelf. something about the bottle being squat, appealing to sticky fingers maybe? likely. welcome to the blog of no answers.

leopard print seems not too hard to replicate a paint job of.

i reached my disgusting unhealthy goal.

too light for 5’8. i’m even less now.

some people never got around to seeing this. also, the online article is buried from non-subscribers (including me).

ikea you owe me big time. LOL @ ballistic.

someone (read: person i am banging) recently pointed out my laptop stickers and asked if i was seven. look, i use these things until they self-destruct so it doesn’t matter how much garbage i affix to ‘em.

this room is a retarded colour explosion.

haven’t seen the cats in a while (cos i sleep through their daytime wanderings or i’m never here) but their little footprints are all over the place. makes me laugh.

give the people what they want.

that’s it i need a new camera or someone to learn how to operate it.

sean pinchin was starstruck by me! well, no, yes, whatever. go check him out west he’s touring and an amazing musician. teppei was blowing his load over his slide fret whatever that shit is called.

i love having fresh meals readily available to me at the snap of my fingers. have to be careful not to eat out of boredom idle time. not that it matters as metabolism is currently at all time high.

see? sliding. slap? STUPID ME I AM.

congratulations you might die soon! and then they were like lets set a new goal haha.

wicked.

saturday ikea hangover bad scene.

bought a rug. i swear it was orange!

wardrobe! 99 bucks! fil put it together for me thanks guy. i forgot to grab coasters from work to level it out (uneven floorboards). so now i have multiple places to stash my clothes and yet everything is still in bags and piles. haven’t had time or motivation.

off to work.

loner stand-up dinner.

haiti hip hop fundraiser and i think that’s adgirl, she said my blog was hype. found me through casie. sorry this thing is turning into the oh look it’s someone who knows my blog, blog. (not sorry).

choclair!

i’m training this crew to be regulars. they stayed til the bitter end friday nite while we were shit show dance closing up, recognized them last nite and got ‘em waaasted. clem don’t forget the hendrick’s.

and so it begins…

i’ve been pulling out the lamest outfits lately, any clean thing i can find that sort of matches no matter how out of style, on it goes. i have to wrap this up and finish part two tomorrow as i have to come up with some other stupid look for tonite. the national post calls tomorrow at 11. less snark, more smart.

this is what closing time is like.

last nite choclair came in, performed, and did shots with us. we were starstruck. i told him i met him a year ago then halfway through recounting the time that i did not actually meet him it dawned on me that it was kardinal offishall that i had met (i need to stop smoking weed)(like that’s happening) whoops so i allowed the loudness of the room to overtake my gaff, pushed another girl in my place and walked backwards into the kitchen to blush my balls off. when i met kardinal i thought i was meeting choclair and tagged him as such on fb. fuck. choclair was good about it though and played along HEY YOU REPLIED TO AN EMAIL OF MINE ONCE REMEMBER??? i get that all the time, i relate to you choclair! i cannot get redman or method man straight either. i like the short one better, i mean, i’d do him. i thought yesterday was the worst hangover of my life. wrong. today is. worth it though, we jammed at the bar til 5. so fun. dance party explosion all over and atop the bar. i’m so sore.

pretty sure the guy would fully remember this epic moment in time.

then i pulled my pants down and no one cared who met whom, where why or when.

phone numbers gathering contest i must win this so help me out guys.

aje-vasion!

the dudes are trying to give themselves handicaps. fuck that nice try.

the lucky ones get to stick around.

i got it in the hair only. learned my shot lesson friday nite by an awful anxiety attack at the end there, kinda had to slip out. when i left last nite west of bathurst passed avenue was cordoned off by firetrucks and cop cars, south and north, what was that all about? combing for someone?

gettin’ p0rnzy.

brunch today was a trip. i took off my sunglasses for two seconds and scared our waitress so i quickly put them back on.

look it’s the song!

shower time see you soon. join our FB page if i haven’t invited you yet.

is the beginning is the end. oh pumpkins, you were so goth before goth was goth.

for some reason this picture now humiliates me. feh.

it’s nice that you can sit beside others and talk with them but it kinda seems like they have no interest in talking with you haha. wary of the angmohs.

actually everyone seems supremely nice. great atmosphere. i could get a prickly cactus to warm up to me, by the by.

cool order thanks flickr!

after waiting in line so longish you don’t want your server to get away from you so you order frenzy as much as you can.

and then all is right in the world again.

sake shooters, three diff varieties of subtle sweet. i’d hit it again (and again).

blur crap pic quality next purchase will be a camera. and laptop. i’m willing to let you give me either for henry bloggins coverage. already have a BB on the way. nice nice.

bladder expansion.

HOT FACE

sashimi salad.

carpaccio.

comedian.

not a comedian.

do you think my face is blue steel skeletor enough yet ugh. please only look at me if you are wasted.

gunned through the looking glass stephanie arrives for a shooteroo. why am i talking like such an ignoramous right now? malnutrition is rotting my brain.

drew barrymore was v friendly.

manic coffee embodies every hip cultured cliche i love to both embrace, and ridicule. amazing espresso too.

now accepting spa recommendations i need a breather.

if i point out one more time how out of order (these pics are) and lazy i am i’m going to close this thing up. i’m going to wear those tights again to work tonite.

if only this could be cheesier.

it was dead. it felt right.

weeded through to some good ones.

i guess i should just email these?

sunshine hangovers are the only tolerable ones available.

popped in a salon for everyone to full body cringe at the state of my hair, no no i’m cool over here on the couch thanks for the coffee see you later as i slide a forced into my palm biz card into the back pocket of my jeans.

hello bizarre creature.

so docile and friendly. i want a dog to match my floor too.

somewhere out there’s a collage i need to see.

as in, right now.

some kind of plant flower i hopefully won’t murder.

the room keeps changing.

sanctuary.

crap corner where a clothing rack/storage unit to the stars will eventually situate.

i’m starving. someday soon i will have to investigate my new neighbourhood. mitzi’s sister only serves food til 4?

went to la hacienda last nite. not going back. pricey, uninspired. ate meal two at squirlys. man i have so many stories about that place. another time, another life. that was texted to me the other nite. uber emo. i used to eat by myself at squirlys a lot before my nite shift as an “online model” i’d sit there and radiate please come sit with me vibes and it never worked.

incidentally i am looking for a dinner date for the evening before work i am too lazy to call anyone so if you are reading this and starving get at me. you must have good table manners. blah called in early forget it they’re making me something special. come have a drink, wastoids.

can’t tell you how viciously enamored i was with this thing.

dreeeeeeeeamy. so xiaxue. sass and her roommate faith and i have half hour xiaxue discussion pow wows at least thrice weekly.

went to this new japanese place on church last nite called goo guu. apparently there is no literature about it available anywhere online. once the meeds get a hold of it you will not even be able to get in. it’s like a roadhouse tapas style set-up. brilliant. they all scream hello at you when you arrive and leave. so cute. so many sakes to try, and shooters.

pretentiously misleading-looking from the outside. far from it on the interior. in the interior?

kinda a write-off day so i’ll add more to this post as i get my shit in order. lots of emails to go through and things to catch up on. rearranged furniture in room with britt yesterday. got some under bed storage things. my clothes are just retarded, i have too much. i am getting rid of a ton of shit with no more sentimentality that’s it, this shirt i wear once every 3 years is fuckin’ outtie.

went to the spoke club after dinner and had a fun time bullshitting with the bartender, hi matt!

kind of a ridiculous outfit. i hate that that mini cardigan has a slightly xmas-thing to it. i love red, i love red dots, i love red dots on tiny black cardigans. i don’t like christmas in february though. also i need some suggestions for work appropriate feminine shoes that also mesh well with winter climate. flats?

the laziest way to get people to talk to you is by wearing a toasted marshmallow pomeranian on your head. these two (blasted)(respectfully so) chicks came by and one let me take 50 pictures of her in it if they email me they shall receive them. it was like the deaf leading the blind leading the fucking wasted trying to explain to her how to pose. pretty funny.

the national post just emailed me for an interview request, apparently i am a notable city celebrity. lately i’ve been meeting lots of new people, or they’ve been meeting me via others and when asked what it is that i do, blogging, they’re like no really, WHAT does she do? um, nothing? it’s not concrete. there are fifty possible responses. it’s a relief that i have a “real job” now which also makes the whole super fucking famous blogging title even less believable. i find it’s the mid-thirties + set crowd who don’t “get” “it” but why would they? this wasn’t exactly available to them when they were the age i am now.

i’m a loner, dottie, a rebel.

then when the words BOOK and WRITING A comes out that’s when ears turn off.

yeah rubens, things like beating off in porn theatres when you were my fucking childhood hero? i forgive you completely.