she came she saw she ghetto now

it’s gettin’ pretty rootsy up in here, have to get crafty smoke ‘n mirrors-like to distract from them. errg next week for sure hair appt.

here she comes.

so sass coming ’round westward bound was to be a surprise to cheer me up which got fouled up but meh. hi!

i am going to mention my roots ten thousand times if that’s ok.

sass has her own fruit fly catching recipe. dish soap, oj, balsamic.

but look how many i captured!

hang lounge is the spot to be, she said it felt like a cottage? cozy i think she meant. plus she likes snakes.

prepare for twenty stupid pictures of me looking stupid. oh wait that’s everyday, nevermind.

listening to a story about a girl who approached sass at a party who is a raymi fan. HI! like the vintage plush superman addition to the couch? thanks.

i am so listening to this story i swear.

this is the part that pertains to me so you have 1000% of my attention now.

an intense finish.

what’s the sound of a decorative banjo with no strings? atmospheric awe.

then someone hit the little prince (pipe) and became awesometown! and got into linko with me. ps. look at this tattoo of the little prince (i call it the littlest prince cos i think it’s cuter that way).


you have to keep grabbing tiles until you can go. the setup is essentially dominoes, in sequence, but by different colour. good/bad stoner game. you sit there for five minutes and can’t remember who just went hahaha.

i think i won this game but who cares, it’s the experience that matters right? the journey, guys. JOURNEY.


is it my fucking turn yet what is even going on?

something’s about to happen i think.

yes something indeed, out on the town something.

i have to lie down first.

lightbulb idea goes off.

john/yoko reenactment.

sort of not working out.

do over another day. ugh and i’m period fat all over the place. next.

what’s this?

ugh. cool one, chaps. you also like the non-word texican. trying to explain to people the reason behind oriental no longer being thee thing to refer to asians by is just, first of all these types are already at a disadvantage in the smart gene pool on top of some racism coursing thru their veins so essentially they do not care, are too dumb to get it, and won’t change their ways regardless. i usually just say oh so she’s a rug then? you can say oriental when referring to a fucking rug, not a person.

gunned. crazy sweet potato fries poutine with chipotle and jalapenos and whatever the heck else.

your guts will thank you in the morning.

adorable girl in pumpkin costume behind me.

my love affair with deep fried pickles has come to an end. we’re through. you know what i have learned about chain establishments in the suburbs versus the city? the suburbs get it right (they have to) while the city chains do not give a care. if you hit up a chain restaurant in the city they’re basically like, why? here’s your plate of slop.

no matter where we eat, sass and her creamy pasta fetish. claims she likes the texture.

stuffed and so cranked has to spend the nite hahaha. may as well keep riding that horse.

time for never-ending ruthless stoner monopoly.

oh yes.

rocket scientists.

wheelin’ and dealin’.

wiley cashed out.

oh he’s up.

BAM! check that corner, all me baby i won! (that’s also my playing piece, the only golden thing) i have to say, playing with credit cards is so much easier and possibly more enjoyable.

the end.

weird looks pause continues.

stuff you don’t know you need

dress appropriately to your surroundings.

i’ve been dragged to aberfoyle many a time as a skeezy teenager. much more fun to go back as a dickhead adult. canada’s oldest eh? last weekend for it too and free admission.

didn’t buy this why?

another regret. i’ll take born again, you take jesus saves. lets do this.


you are a.

so many vendors were doin’ 50% off everything jams. best day to go.

checking the wares. dig the coloured glass.

my impression of how beautiful you are.

my new hippie stoner drinking implement flutes. 50% off! talked the guy out of one more dollar after that, ten even, despite the woman vendor giving some ‘tude. if people shoot down your haggling the way i see it, their loss. have fun packing that all up again brah. i drank a mimosa out of one of these last nite.

my favourite building/house/pile of junk space. so many kooky cats wandering around with weird hair, outfits (antiquing bonus is all the goof sightings) all riffing their zany convos across the room to each other and clearly all the vendors are tight, you could just wander around all day puttering from stall to stall, seems like a great life to me (when you’re old and squirly). anyway i digress…

she started it.

aside from not too terribly morose persons, it’s the wacky ones who steal my heart.

never trust anyone with an uncluttered space.

i fainted every time i came across vintage christmas ornaments.

oh you flirt.

scottish hat 85 bones. i didn’t even bother trying to haggle that one. though this hat deserves me, plus my grandmother was from scotland. sidenote: studied at cambridge.

sunny day out eh?

somewhere out there is a great comedian.

how blind were people?

i’ve a tight green vintage army coat i have no idea where to wear.

wanted it. woman wasn’t price budging.

a new hat is spied.

public enemy inaug.

fly persons only.

woah. lancelot, relax. who even has something like this? awed.

one wasn’t enough. 4 more of these in the stacks.

hello scout.

new friend.

fall is flyin’ right on by, huh?

the red room is a little ridiculous. check my new gym.

bonus sexy black socks.

my brain cannot even process what its eyes are being glared at.

tons later of course.

SAKE BOMB: a how to

booze lesson number two for the week.

your ingredients. now you’d probably prefer a squat tumbler for the beer and the typical sake shot glass also squat, not this fancy hybrid modern designed whatever but you also probably don’t want to tell your server what your intentions are, or you do, whatever. i didn’t haha. so i went with what was given.

this is basically Jägerbomb style. easy.

tonsa head from the sake glass drop. further way down to go due to design.

wait for it to settle or just give’r.

i say give’r.

the shot glass blocked the rest of the beer i had to dig it out to get at it all otherwise you bet that’d all go down in one chug. my verdict on sake bombs: pleasing, subtle and get you cranked. sake drunk is a goofy care-free drunk. perfect.


k bye it’s miserable out today, totally mood suitable. errg.

speakeasy to me sleazy steezy to me

back in june went to rethink rhomp, it got shitty. shitty as in gunned. never got around to blogging it all, but here are some highlights. loved the little booklets, each contained drink tickets.

it took place in the burroughes building (check out that site wow!) perfect secret old-timey elevator whisks you up to the top floor. speakeasy themed in case you were a simpleton. come on now, follow along with the rest of us.

your hero, the idiot, did not eat one of these things.

sigh not a one.

boobies cupcakes for rethink breast cancer. omg i just remembered the gift bags. best gift bags since the one of a kind show IMO.

drive-by blurry but half the price of the feather head piece i bought earlier that day from champagne and cupcakes which i think i like better, more taste plus headband not clip on. trying to justify ridic price in my head as steph would say PERSONAL TREAT. there done. justified.

hogged the roulette table for quite a while. won a bunch of stupid pink iguana beanie things. did not win a blackberry.

look i’m a ghost and olivia chow came to hang just kidding just kidding. wow black hair eh never goin’ back to that it just zaps the colour entirely from your face and ages you.

alright so this is the reason why i’m posting these relics. i learned a new way to enjoy slamming vodka shots.

it is not a requirement to do so on a bar made of ice but you know if you wanted to wait for one to come your way, your call. i think the ice has something to do with the theme of the shot process, swiss maybe? why do i feel like it’s czech?

cup cost 5 bucks for charity. we all lost ours by the end and the bartender was a bitch about filling them up cos it wasn’t classy uh what? why are you selling them then? the issue was pouring shots unmixed into them, ha fine then can you put a sprinkle of soda water in there? i think that girl was on to something cos i was annihilated beyond belief and so was britt.

ready to learn something?

first you huff on some rye bread, breathe it in deeply through that humongous nasal passage of yours.

do a shot of iceberg (it was free) though a higher-end vodka would serve you better, naturally. (check out my cute nail flower stickers i am a four year old)

jesus are you sure i’m doing this right? i like how i got the young bartender guy to document all of this, he was all sure whatever, trying to act un-big deal about it but i could tell he was feeling it. lots.

then you chase it with a pickle. the essence of the rye you snuffed comes flooding back, then you eat the rye. maybe you eat it before i forget i was waaaaaaaaasted.

then the munchies hit you hard and you find the biggest piece of shrimp ever.

then britt dumps her entire drink on you.

thank you. my purse reeked for a week after this, we had a pile of junk on the floor while dancing, britt’s feather thing got doused in booze, i threw it in my purse for her. my stomach is churning right now recalling the scent.

pretty much.

up to the roof rain for air.

just in time for winter gamble cabin fever nice.

time to shower, bye chickens.

no wait watch this sass sent me it, so good!


flickr just did something way not cool. they made it so you can’t just right click a photo for properties to get the html tag, you have to click all sizes to get the one they placed at the bottom for stupid people. this adds an extra hour to my blogging experience now. THANKS GUYS WAY TO WRECK A GOOD THING. i am so pissed.

belt and i are going places.

this is why i’m getting fat can you tell what it is?

chef boyardee + huge chunk of old cheddar piled on top. relax i didn’t eat it all to myself. should have taken photos of dinner round two, it was leagues classier and delicious.

fruit fly balsamic trap experiment. britt and alicia have these in their kitchen as well (garbage strike) i tried one with an olive oil/balsamic blend cos i spied some dead fruit flies attached to the olive oil bottle. stick with the balsamic, fruit flies aren’t fancy enough for olive oil, nor care for it. jab some holes in the saran wrap, they go in and get trapped then you laugh at them.

oh june. sass put some photos up on fb from partying at tyler stewart‘s mansion. that was a magical day.

caption contest?

i will never tire of this one.

hey there.

this is how i help people with their chores: stand around talk as much shit as possible then wander off.

think i’m going to complain to flickr this extra step is really grating me.

hats under hoods kill me, so funny. see you at daycare dewds.

big knuckles are hot on a chick.

this is what a reunion looks like.

as for me currently i have a zit on the bottom of my jaw/neck area that will occupy me for the next thirty minutes. don’t be jealous all at once now.

toys for losers (just kidding i want it)

you will love the ending.

no i don’t really want it but i like that it exists so don’t get any ideas, or it for me. why does it only come in ginger/white? no siamese? if there was a siamese i’d be on it in a second actually. alicia fully backs me on the toy front, gets it.

not that you could possibly even try to ignore it but i smile with my eyes a ton in this video. also the dogs are reacting to the audio so play it by your dogs if you are awesome.

waiting for hair to dry sitting as far away from the leaf blower as possible, contemplating some deep thoughts by the water checking email.

i probably just said something extremely hilarious.

about to break into song. seriously.

i don’t have a caption for this one. yikes maybe?

oh and at kelsey’s on our way in a family of four were slowly sauntering through the parking lot ahead of us so i beat it on up ahead of them to cut them off at the pass to be next in line for the hostess. suburban tip:23 DO that all the time. got a dirt look from the dad, sorry didn’t know the line began in the parking lot? full out passive aggressively ignored him. didn’t even feel like the slightest bit of a prick about it either. what you just experienced right there was a city move. a new york left, if you will. DEAL.

hippie neighbours: suburban style

and it’s for sale too! want me to put in an offer for you?

belt score.

keepin’ it real in hamiltan (that’s hamilton with an accent) also known as hamiltime and so on. cool story to the planet there, steel fires. nice to look at though. it’s like christmas.

kept it real at kelsey’s too! i should make one post dedicated to the garbage i’ve been shoveling up my nose the last month. holding off on the applebee’s experience cos i’m still sensitive (barfy-wise) to it.

that was dave’s.

whereas i went for a healthier non-carb fare. pfft. had a bit of a back ‘n forth with the waitress, how much lemon am i to expect on these (lemon/black pepper) wings? not much she says. should i go for sea salt and pepper instead? no? NO lemon was detected is the moral of this shit story. then i proposed a chain of restaurants not unlike a kelsey’s, boston pizza, etc etc that exercises portion control. same crap food, just in smaller amounts for those who cannot stop themselves yet for some reason feel compelled to hit up such establishments. kind of a head fuck on the consumer but i think it’d take off, plus everything would be slightly cheaper. oh look ronald it’s a RAYMI’S we’re eating healthy tonite!

yum dessert.

one of ten billion pictures of dave crouching.

coming up, a video in the toy department of zellers. the zany times just don’t end! dave dropped a toy panda on my head from the top shelf, a corner cuffed me. it’s ok i was buzzed so it didn’t hurt too much. he didn’t know it hit me cos the fucking thing activated and started crying once it hit the floor hahahha. bought this game called link-o, a puzzle and uno. racking up the board games that’s how you do in the suburbs when you don’t have cable tv and it’s cold and have seen every dvd ever.