good news fans!

that dress fits me again! fil just zipped it up for me and is so not getting the excitement i am feeling about it. i am wearing it right now and pretending i am southern. too bad the stains collected that very nite are still all over it. tropical drink booze party stains. oh well. i remember when i used to wear my hair like that all the time it was my signature look and i felt lost without it i look like i really like soccer. my ex bf mailed me some of my junk back in january and i was bummed the dress didn’t fit and almost gave it away to lise but her tits are too big so i hung onto it. can you get five year old stains out? i am going to wear it to dinner tonite stains and all i don’t care don’t stop me. oh also that nite i wiped out on my bike in that dress on dundas i am awesome. in that post i just linked i said dude shit totally stole last nite. DO NOT STEAL THAT YOU ASSHOLE HIPSTER WANNABES IT’S MINE FROM 2002 WHEN I WAS 19 BYE.

what else oh here i am also 19 at the gladstone karaoking before you did that too!

here i am at a baseball game before you even heard what baseball was.

look it’s me with a german girl who i got a job working as an online model i was hanging out on spadina avenue before you had legs.

i lost touch with this guy, one of my more classier stalkers.

my 18 yr. old body.

the band i was in for two minutes.

yesterday’s head size started out on a small note then my head just progressively got bigger throughout the day.

dear WEIRD, yes, i received the memo.

smiling was not in vogue back then.

shitty toys too, i had a doll like this once and was super frustrated playing with it, the two girls never get to hang together.

EVERYTIME i close my browser all of my history deletes EVERYTIME so if i visit your blog be very flattered because i typed the entire address out no cheatsies auto-fill whatever that thing is called and be double flattered that i remembered you even had a blog at all i sit here thinking ok who to spy on next oh mr so and so’s blog i haven’t visitted yet type type type i am writing about anything that comes into my mind right now so i don’t have to do any chores.

oh and for the next two hours i don’t have any pants to wear either (laundry).

me: we are hung and have to clean the entire condo cos we are going away but dont have any organic lesbian eco-friendly paper towels we tried to get yesterday from noah’s they were out so we are in a lazy vortex of internet party in our underwear + wicked hung oh and we have to go to the suburbs by like 6 so i think i win for sucky day oh and have to do laundry too! and pack!

Elizabeth: that sounds like an awesome day

me: i hate cleaning the bathroom cos i find a million of my mile long hairs everywhere with dust and grime and fil never cleans the bathroom

Elizabeth: I love cleaning the bathroom
with like comet
and rubber gloves

me: i use fantastic
we are out of windex

Elizabeth: i like fantastick as well
it is my second favourite
jenna jameson is so skinny

me: i just farted and fil said WHAT!?

Elizabeth: Im worried about her
i think she might have a drug problem

me: you are actually worrying about a porn star
do you watch porno valley
on fridays there are 4 back to back reality porn shows on showcase
i love them
when porn stars get emotional and try and have real lives like buying toys for their kids

Elizabeth: oh I havent ever seen that
I should set my tivo
I hate it when people talk about their tivo
its for fags
and bloated white people

me: ew that still exists
bluh-hooop bluuuu-heeeep go away

Elizabeth: k
so hes been on the phone 20 min
I was ready to leave at 10

me: what are they talking about vodka?
haha russian joke

last nite’s outfit was inspired by old men moms and slobs what else is new.

this is the restaurant that it started raining at except inside of the restaurant and i still go back, i don’t know the name it used to be called the sushi club. last nite’s service was terrible and it was empty hi try harder maybe your ceiling WAS RAINING THE LAST TIME I ATE HERE!

last nite my face was pretty big wtf.

‘cept for when i pose all dainty like that.

the superfan and glen.

edmondo’s tripod, it could even support fil’s camera.

Photo Hosted at Buzznet
Photo Hosted at Buzznet
Photo Hosted at Buzznet

we stayed up ’til 4am at the metropolitan suites. we saw augie march at lee’s then i got pushy and hung backstage and made them like me despite totally making fun of their #1 super fan every chance i got he kept going I SHIT YOU NOT! and I DON’T MEAN TO BE A JERK! and was wearing camping shorts. anyway then we went to green room then we went to their hotel and got ripped i tried to figure out what the number for dial a bottle was oops they only deliver during normal hours? then i told fil to call samir to call someone else oh double whoops it’s after 3 how did that happen? no matter lets drink ten dollar 50ml bottles of crown instead (ungh) and get existential. a good time was had by all. wendi are you alive still?

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that chick was from spill magazine and did NOT like us at all, she was being very possessive and as she left said oh sorry i can’t stay and party with you guys blah blah uh was it offered to you? as she was taking pictures of them with her shittier than fil’s camera she was barking at them to look like they were having fun and it’s ok to have fun in this total bossy tone and obvs. has fun NEVER! she was basically wearing drapes too.

looking at adam (hat guy) all nite long kind of fucked with my head he looks like an ex bf.



we went to sharon temple. dude was a religious maniac who got this shit started. perfect.

of course i get impatient and crabby after three seconds and take a thousand pictures of myself.

the golden orb represents the world.

200 year old chairs.

i had a tan today, it is wicked warm out it is messing with my mind to see fall leaves and feel warm wind (ew) on your body we are going for a drivies. i am going to go on an internet date with this girl in the WWF (wrestling duh) yahoo chatroom tonite (not really). go to her blog she is pretty funny and wears a brown turtleneck. i found her via meltingdolls who is too old for me now (kidding). did i tell you about the time when we did it? i think that was supposed to be a secret i forget anyway burn on you guys.

last nite me and fil got into a huge wicked fight because i said that germans are black and white about things, no grey area, he called me ignorant and racist and totally over-reacted but i don’t care, find me a german who ISN’T black and white about stuff and i will stuff a banana up my nose. fil even tried to go for a blowing off steam walk without me and i followed him and kept stating my case the entire way, he was mad cos he couldn’t brainwash me into thinking the same things he thinks all the time i put my foot down and i basically said ok fine ALL of europe is black and white then, and serbs and croats like to eat a lot of meat it’s not racist it’s the TRUTH and yes stereotypes exist because they are exaggerated FACTS!


i said i know three germans and they are all the same they make up their mind about something and that is that no maybe nots no fence sitting, it’s part of their character makeup jesus and IF you know a laidback german they are LYING and smoke loads of dope. i don’t think it’s a bad thing either, i admire that in people, no wishy-washy emotional garbage just straight to the point, though yes it can also be kinda harsh big deal though don’t like it? don’t be german.

i pointed the finger at fil and said you are mad about this because YOU are black and white about things most of the time the end i win. he agreed he over-reacted a little and said it was cos of his native blood when he drinks it is like FIREWATER to his brain!