watched two movies last nite, turistas and night at the museum, we only watched half of night at the museum, it was kind of garbage, as was turistas, but there was a good portion of tits and carnage and hot bodies to make up for the predictible dialogue and shoddy delivery. the last line in the movie will piss you off, if you are into being pissed off, hold out for that last line.

also, get your hands on cruddy by lynda barry. tony mailed me a copy for my birthday, he said it was totally my style, and it is, and there are tons of sketchy pictures throughout. i was reading some of it in the bath last week during my energy drink sketch attack and it freaked me out even more.

still, it is funny and sad and moving and thrilling, if you like knives and drugs and death and grubby type people and slaughterhouses, read it.


yawn here are my tits.

fil has been on a posting pictures of my tits on his flickr vibe. it’s his new project. a few nites ago he turned to me all pervy gleam in his eye and said, “remind me to take a few new pictures of your tits.” he was wearing glasses and his hair was sticking up, it should have been a sexy moment, it was more of the scary sexy kind. anyway i am over my tits but there they are, they will not increase my hits despite many a blog flamer’s argument, once a picture is up there it is and you are already at my blog how did you know tits would be there that day?

sigh i have the blues fucking darn wave of depression hits me out of nowhere every so often, i looked at this picture and it helped a little bit:

warm weather always makes me sad i don’t know why, since i was a kid it has plagued me, it instills this sense of disappointment like i should be riding on a surfboard or at a luau, but i am not at a luau and will probably never be at a luau and in rolls the wave of depression and there it settles just below the surface until fall.

being disgustingly pasty isn’t helping matters either everytime i look in the mirror i am like “oh bother” and then picture my wallet emptying from all the tanning visits i will make this summer and how there will be no difference to my skin tone you should avoid all posts on this blog that have words in the first paragraph like BLUES DEPRESSION and have a picture of a kitten in a sweater.

also i have eczema on my arms so when i tan/burn they get all red and irritated and it draws more attention to the fact that i have not picked up a dumbbell since i watched hulk hogan on wwf saturday mornings.

ew i just read the definition of eczema, my arms do NOT ooze, crust or scale, i just have red dots all over my bicep area, since i was a kid, and i have had prescribed cream for it and it did nothing so yeah, i am going to jump off the dvp bridge now.

go watch hot fuzz tonite!! if you loved shaun of the dead you will love it, i applaud this new genre/style invention of film, funny, thriller, ridiculous unnecessary unbelievable gore, british humour, HILARIOUS. like don’t even talk to me or read my blog until you have seen it ok.

you will love danny:

he makes all these exaggerated faces when he shoots his gun and drops all this american slang, it’s pretty smart. he is obsessed with hollywood cop films and asks ginger-haired dude non-stop questions like HAVE YOU EVER SHOT YOUR GUN AND FLEW IN THE AIR AT THE SAME TIME? HAVE YOU EVER BLASTED YOUR GUN IN THE AIR LIKE IN POINT BREAK COS YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND YOU CAN’T SHOOT HIM? sooooo endearing!


i am a polish magazine

thanks aleksandra for mailing this to me! i can’t find you on myspace so email me nice lady,


Someone offers you $10 million tax-free on the condition that you shut down this blog and remain in self-imposed Internet exile for the rest of your days. Deal or no deal?

E. Frontery

deal but i would write elsewhere on the internet using a different alias? or use that money to fund an indie film project or tv show. though i dunno why someone would pay me ten million for my blog to go away that’s kinda funny. i don’t think i would be able to stop myself, i would violate that contract immediately. but yes deal, where do i sign?

Would you rather be hated or pitied?

I ask ‘cos it’s from a Spice Girls’ song that I can’t get out of my head at the moment. :/


pity is bad it’s like i only like you cos i feel sorry for you, lame. i’d rather be hated.

If you could collaborate with any artist who and why


um someone clothes designy can’t think who

hi raymi,

i’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and i have
to say that it’s the one out of the multiple blogs i
visit that i look forward to reading the most. i love
that you update it so often because i am usually very
bored at work and love having something new to read
throughout the day. also, the multiple pictures are
nice because sometimes my a.d.d. kicks in and i don’t
feel like reading. thanks!

question: how did you and fil meet?


my mom was seeing this dude who lived beside fil’s mom and my mom wanted me to stop dating this coke dealer guy so she was like FIL MY DAUGHTER IS HOT BE HER NEW BOYFRIEND and then fil showed up on his motorcycle one day when my mom and i were on a walk and talking to fil’s stepdad and i was dressed really slutty and the combination of my whorish ways and fil’s deal-maker motorcycle worked very well and the rest is history.


me: sigh

merkley???: aw

me: whats new

merkley???: hmmn
not much — same old
i dreamed i was a comedian last night

me: were your jokes funny

merkley???: and i was worried i was preparing to much before hand so i decided to wing it
and it worked better

me: i had very bad dreams last nite
like poison blow darts and this gross serial killer guy
and i was dressed like i was in preschool
walking around subdivisions

merkley???: wow
sounds cool

me: there was a lot of carnage
i kept shooting this guy but he wouldnt die

merkley???: i cant wait to start my next project where i photogaph my dreams

me: and i was trying to protect these little girls
oh neat

merkley???: i thought i told you about that

me: yeah i am saying oh neat about it again
oh not neat?

merkley???: there was a urinal on stage with me

me: thats funny

merkley???: and it was leaky
and i made lots of jokes about it
had a conversation with it
like it was trying to steal my style

me: were you drunk before you fell asleep

merkley???: nope
zero booze yesterday

me: good for you
we drank all weekend long
too much

merkley???: yeah i had many events this week

me: i just want some g rated shit tonite maybe a movie out

merkley???: plus i needed to deny this girl yesterday to make her like me

me: oh interesting
this russian dude from los angeles hit on me on saturday
i bragged about it
he was kind of a monster looking
and bald

merkley???: she is really pretty and i think she might be really smart too and she was way hitting on me friday night

me: he was pretty audacious but had no game
how did you deny her

merkley???: well she wanted to see me the next day and i became unavailable then on sunday she wanted me to go on a boat party with her and everyone else i know but i decided not to

me: do you want a medal

it’s time to clean that mirror.

i have writer’s block.

ask me questions in my comments/by email.



we walked all the way home from the drake last nite somehow i managed to not walk into any thing or person, wow, sunday afternoon sunshine patios + booze = early nite. pictures to come.

oh yah we walked past these detox dudes:

one asked what we were holding and if fil was a photographer. good luck guys.

stefan’s bday drunkening

the rest i am holding onto for blackmail purposes.

hey what are you, stefan?

yes my voice IS that good