ok i am going to bribe you guys now, if i win i will hold a contest for a FREE signed copy of MY BOOK including shipping and also some other garbage thrown in there, and there will be a second and third place prize too, not the book, again, garbage that you can sell on ebay. OK. only if i win best blog, though. i have the book in my posession right now and it is signed already with a crappy drawing as well, all that’s left is to personalize it.

so keep voting daily, go to someone else’s computer and vote, go to your school library and vote from every single computer until friday december 1st.

k bye.

here is a visual of what cid thinks about marketable depression:

oh shut up, fat ass.

they are filming a movie or something at fresh (bloor/spadina) right now so if you were planning to eat your lesbian hippie lunch there, i wouldn’t, though it might be done by now i dunno, that place drives me mental MENTAL it’s like everyone is screaming when i go in there and there’s a 20 minute wait for a table usually, no thanks.

20 minutes for overpriced lettuce and yelling and skeletons walking around and pretentious nerds with lisa loeb glasses, eh, no.

i just came back from the supermarket, i have not early grocery-shopped in a very long time, i like it and loathe it simultaneously now here is why, everyone takes their sweet ass time and is in my way and acts like they aren’t and they put their grocery cart in front of all the shit i want to buy and then cock block the rest of the shelf and they are a hundred years old and act like they are the king of the annex i’m getting sick and tired of the annex-mentality HI I AM A CHARACTER IN A MARGARET ATWOOD NOVEL I AM WHIMSICAL AND KOOKY AND I WEAR WOOL SOCKS PULLED UP TO MY FUCKING ASS AND I HAVE A WITTY OBSERVATION ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE.

to you non-canadianoids, the annex is like the new england of toronto, you know, granola and hippie dresses, bongo drums and students, well-educated residents, haha, good thing i live here.

but, i prefer morning shopping to 5pm shopping, because i am a shut-in i push leaving the condo to get foodstuffs until i am starving my face off and then i get to the market and there are 200 other people there, the after work rush and everyone is in everybody else’s way and if someone even THINKS about me inappropriately i lose it.

where was i oh right coming back home by the time i get to the door downstairs i am sweating and crabby and then i get stuck behind the lady who lives next door who is at least 112 years old and walks slower than the slowest thing that ever slowed and i have all these bags and she is inching her way to the door and we get there at the same time and i already have my swipe key out, she doesn’t even notice me, she swipes her card and starts to open the door, i put out my hand and open it all the way cos she is this frail tiny hunched over thing and she goes OH I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO… and i cut her off and said I.LIVE.HERE. then i ran inside up the stairs so i wouldnt have to share the elevator with her.

i feel kind of mean but i am sick of being treated like a criminal here cos i am not 60 years old and i don’t wear an ugly fur coat people treat me like i am a prostitute but then when i am seen with fil they are all phony nice and i give them major stink-eye or i walk away as punishment while he is saying hi to them, fuck you, don’t pretend that you are not a fucking bitch to me in front of my boyfriend.

though, i have also thought it might be possible that they are afraid of me and my i am a total cunt vibe, i guess i am a little stand-offish, but it’s not cos i am a monster it is because i am shy and afraid of people ok the end.

ok i didn’t mention this before cos i thought it would be OBVIOUS but it DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHERE IN THE WORLD YOU LIVE THERE ARE NO BORDERS ON THE INTERNET you can still vote for me if you live in america or wherever outside of canada OH MY GOD i want to rip out my fucking hair at the thought of all those missed votes fuck!@$#^

there should be an award for DUMBEST READER and it would be a landslide TIE between ALL OF YOU !!!!!!!!!

if i lose it is all america’s fault i mean, think about it, almost HALF OF MY READERS live in the states, say 900 daily, why wouldn’t you be allowed to vote?!
gr i45hyr0ghrepngfmf;lnr

good morning

that crazy work-out guy is in the park beginning his assault of MAKING ME FEEL OUT OF SHAPE AND UGLY. i have been up since 6.38am, fil has early meetings on wednesdays. last nite’s birthday was a success. everyone made fun of my card cos i wrote something serious and sweet and cos my family is unable to express emotions properly, my dad and brother made jokes about it FINE next time i will get one of those cards with a fake booger in it.

jokes on them though, i fully plagiarised the line out of the book i’m reading right now HAHA. suckers.

by the way booger should be spelled BUH-ger everytime i see BOOGER i want to punch it for some reason it makes me think of scooby-doo and ghosts and the word spooky which leads to that ghost writer show and all of those kids on it were raging nerds so when i see BOOGER i think of all of that and i want to destroy them all, all because of a fucking word that is spelled the most bullshit way ever.

anyway i’ve discovered that i cannot sleep after a bender, no matter how early i wake up, 4am, 5, 6, i stay awake, strange, you’d think i would sleep all afternoon. maybe it’s carry over from highschool days, getting up with the sun, drunk still, smelling like booze ew i just made my stomache flip-flop.

i exploded a, um, blemish on the back of my neck just now and it hurts, i might make it the focal point of my day and have everything revolve around it. notice how i said blemish like i am a lady.

i haven’t been biting my nails, they are getting long, i told fil he has to buy me a present if i grow them out, i need motivation cos i have less than zero willpower.

what other girl things can i tell you, oh yeah i changed make-up a month ago and while it is less cakey it is making my cheeks break out a bit i guess i have to start washing my face which i am sad about. you know how guys brag about not having barfed since 2003 or whatever, i brag about not washing my face. i do it in the shower obvs. but when i pass out at nite i just go to sleep with make-up on like a geisha except less classy. so the last time i washed my face for real before going to bed i must have been about 19, just turned. i should have an anniversary celebration about that.

i told my dad last nite his birthday falls on my blog’s anniversary, he didn’t care. some guy outside the pub, drunk guy mind you, asks me what i do and i said well i write and i have a blog and he smirked SMIRKED at me like what the fuck do you do kid, lay sod?

i have anger problems.

Canadian Blog Awards

gay faces listen up i canNOT believe how little of you have been voting for me or period it’s like you don’t want me to win and you don’t want to read this blog anymore?! i mean i know i’m not on crazy pills anymore so like what’s the deelio? i am shocked. there should be a trillion votes in all the categories i am in don’t forget that even if i come in close second this blog will be GONE, archives too. today, tomorrow, and friday are your last days of voting for me so DO IT.

love nana

ps this lady doesn’t want to lose to a blog with a tagline of LADIES THROW THEY PANTIES ON THE FLOOR “because I don’t want to lose to the blog with the tagline “ladies throw they panties on the floor”, even though I am not against throwing my own panties on the floor, but more out of weary exhaustion than any kind of sassy debauchery.” i said it’s a ghostface lyric and it is COOL, i change that thing up there a lot, she won’t publish my comments, but yet in email makes nice with me wtf why bother? anyway i said i will find a more offensive tagline just for her. however, her blog IS endearing and i think that she is a great writer, and you know me, i do not praise often let alone someone i am up against. i don’t think her blog is better or worse than mine, just a different genre.

ALSO look i am getting skinnier so yeah you can read the blog of a skinnier person it’s true someone told me last nite i am skinnier but it seems somewhat like you guys want me to get pregnant and have a blog about being a mom cos that’s who i am up against, do you want me to be a mom, is that what this is about?

no offense but i kind of hate kids, and no not your kids, your kids RULE. i mean i hate blogging about kids it’s like blogging about cats and noel told me that that’s lame so i try not to do it very much and as much as i hate agreeing with noel, he’s right. people go on the internet to ignore the fact that they are fucking losers so going through a bunch of blogs about babies and cats what the fuck?

anyway look at it as payment for reading my blog, there are no ads, there are no fees, all you have to do is go to a different site and click my name and press enter HOW OBESE ARE YOU GUYS!!!????

oh, and i love you thanks, and, believe me, i am just as tired of reminding you guys to vote as you are of reading my abusive threats.


ok i am going to be a complete smart ass

-Why did you start blogging?

cos i cannot shut myself up, cos i dominate all others when it comes to personal opinion and original thought.

-In 25 words tell me about yourself.

i have an inflated ego that’s not exactly unjustified, i’ll probably be shot one day for pissing off the wrong person if i haven’t already.

-What impact do you think has on your readers?

poor man’s celebrity, cult-like bullshit, intelligence, smut.

-Many people have trouble thinking of things to write on their blogs, how do you do it and keep people coming back?

wit and originality and i am good looking, i invite people and encourage them to obsess over the crap what is my life

-Who is your favourite blogger?

that cuteoverload.com meg lady

-How many hits do you get a day?

2000ish, sometimes less sometimes way more.

-You do alot of other things besides blogging, what inspires your paintings, t-shirts, stuffed things etc.

money, fame.

-Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, will you still be blogging?

yes but i will either be more or less bitter, depends upon what happens between now and then

-What do you think you will be blogging about then?

hopefully how much more money i have and what it’s like to pass out in a leopard print one piece on a yacht, doing drugs with celebrities.

-What’s next for you?

finishing my third book hopefully getting a non-indie publisher, to get my book in a bookstore

-What is your favourite thing about blogging?

how impulsive it is

-What is your favourite quote?


-What is in your CD player right now?

itunes shuffle, right now it’s playing peeping tom

-Why do you think your blog is so successful while other fail?

cos i glamorize the ugliness of the fellow man, myself obviously included

-Have you met a lot of your readers?

yes but not enough of them

-Which celebrity do you hate the most?

i want to say paris hilton but that’s too easy she’s like default hatred but i could still see myself hanging with her maybe one afternoon and then i point out everything about her that is bad. i don’t hate celebrities, i prefer to hate real life people, like, right-wing fag haters.

-What is your view on politics? religion?

oh hello jumped the gun. religion, no. politics, no. i’m an athiest and not in the annoying way a ninth grader is who cuts themself, just like, when you’re dead you’re dead there is nothing else after that and politics, i am a leftist.

-You are up for three awards in the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards, how do you feel about that?

greedy and obsessive, mostly.

-Do you think you are going to win?


-Is there anything else you want to add?

is there something else i could be doing to be better at blogging?