i’m fucking hungry and starving and learning that adderall with no food, equals exactly what i wanted it to. surpassing hunger because this place is too messy to cook and there are no food implements to use. haha.
i like going back and forth from my laptop to the mac machine thing in my pajama bottoms and flip flops and no shirt and sweaty armpits. did you know i stubbed my left toe, the one beside the big one and i think the nail might fall off. i don’t care about that, it’s not so important. it just hurts when i walk and i hobble a bit.
we drank neo citran and had a coma from 930am-320pm and everything else was put on hold.
this may as well be my fucking book
i might be moving to a studio loft big open-concept place like you see in the movies.
i will be twenty years old in seventy-one days. i think i am ok with the idea of that now. i was masturbating and i said, “i am almost twenty years old. that pussy is almost twenty years old. i should tell people i am twenty years old. i like that number.”
and then there is my book which i have not added to in four weeks and i realise that when i publish it i can put on the back that i was 18-19 years old when i wrote it and then i will feel superior to all other beings.
thank you jdh for the pill. i am flying now. i’m not even hungry anymore. i know i make people cringe when i say dark things. my psychiatrist thinks i might have ADHD after i told him everything i did over the past 4 weeks and i didn’t lie about one single thing. not one. rather, i told it all and did not cover anything up. i see him again monday, 1:15pm and i will be there on time with a coffee to hold in my hand so i dont fidget with my hat or my hair or fingernails.
wuh wuh wuhhhhh…guess what happens when you type raymitheminx.com?
boink!
each day
i’mge t t ing
b ette r
and
bett er
so write raymitheminx.com on bathroom stalls and toilet paper rolls, ok?
useful links:
we were in the same movie together
my answer to ebay taking down my dirty panties auctions
people who don’t write about me are boring
how old is this kid? 10? looks young in the drum picture
so my book is about my life and all the things i don’t tell you here and something more. i’m just trying to be a pioneer and have a nice looking little thing to store away with all my adventures so i can move on to the next chapter of my life. i use to fantasize about my journals being found in parks or wherever and then being telephoned and told that i am brilliant and interesting and worth having the world know about me. i think i’m doing all the things i was meant to be doing on this earth. anything different wouldn’t seem right.
MONDO magazine wrote about me. i’m going to their release party tomorrow. somewhere near York university, the rooster something pub. now i have to go look at more photos and maybe shower or make it look like i had a shower and then go meet parkdalemiddleton for drinks and food or hash fuck i need to go to the tanning salon and go get my money and go go go go go.
Douglas Coupland, i saw you on a commercial for this canadian awards thing. i screamed and everyone went, what? we were sitting in this junky-style livingroom with a hole in the wooden floor and the room was all slanted and i said, “DOUGLAS COUPLAND!?” and no one knew except for one, who you were. but i couldn’t talk about it because no one understands me and i kept saying, ok i’ll take that tranquilizer now, no NOW, ok in a minute because sometimes when i get to talking it’s like i can’t stop and i am even annoyed at myself. but one guy was nice and said, no what you are saying is interesting, tell me more. i couldn’t tell if he just wanted to fuck me. i don’t trust many people.
Monthly Archives: January 2003
so i heard you have that thing, you know what it’s called? “Poverty mentality” except yours is different. you spend and spend and spend but you save and save and save. you are never broke and you are never rich.
what the fuck are you talking about? next you’ll be telling me i have white-guilt.
no no no, no.
“i don’t have time for this mickey mouse, bullshit.”
hey, that was pretty good. i see you have been watching that professional movie, huh?
yes. i can recite the whole script, every scene. it’s up there with the big lebowski for me.
what’s your obsession with that movie all about?
well, it takes maybe two to four viewings to get all the little parts and then maybe ten after that to appreciate them and then maybe watch it two times a week over bong hits, with a friend of course, for the rest of your life. i think i like it ’cause my mum my dad and my brother hated it. that and every line is hilarious.
and why now the professional?
come on. twelve year old natalie portman smokes cigarettes, wears a green bomber jacket and that french guy teaches her how to kill people and he buys her a pink dress and falls in love with her.
oh right, that.
exactly.
so i heard you spent 32 dollars on laundry.
they do a good job. they fold it for you. they eat they sleep and they live laundry. i don’t have time for that, well, i do but you know, i can barely toast bagels or hold pint glasses without them falling out of my hands.
why are you so sad?
i am never satisfied with what i am doing, my work, my creative endeavours, it is never good enough and seems everyone thinks i should be doing something else, like school or some sort of formal training.
why are you so sad?
nothing exciting ever happens to me like, red carpet runway walks or 6am flights to cuba and salmon cream cheese mousse spread on my crostini…
that mousse goes rancid pretty fast.
i know.
what does sadness feel like?
well the sad part is easy, it’s the worrying about being sad that kills me. like, uh oh, when this is over, i’m going to be sad again.
you don’t look so fucking sad to me, you know. fat girls are allowed to be sad, handicapped people, opressed people, foster kids..etc etc
yah i know, that’s why this bites so much – there’s no physical affliction.
what makes you happy?
theme parks and rollercoasters, convertible rides wearing cowboy hats, castles, owning a helicopter, rainbows…
not beine alone?
bingo.
do you want to go to sleep now?
yes please.
what the fuck do you mean i’m plastic?
well, hasn’t it been said of you before?
yes but that was from this guy who lives in my part of town, someone who belongs there, you know, the rich part. what the fuck does he know?
he was the only other guy?
yes.
do you pose for your photos?
some.
well, there you go.
i see what you mean.
so you are no longer a porno model?
this is true.
how do you feel about that?
liberated.
ok.
sure.
what are you going to do now?
network my laptop to a bigger machine, finish my book, stop lying to my psychiatrist, punch holes in walls, make raymi-in-action videos, i dunno, collect social assistance.
good idea on the social assistance.
yah, thanks man.
Ok i think i figured out what friend of perry, over at whateverthemuff was trying to tell me
:sidenote: must find thing that takes down into print every word i say, when i say it no matter how stupid it sounds. :end sidenote:
i think he made a typo or there was a blip in his sentence in-where the word, “Not” wasn’t present where it was suppose to be.
he was giving me work advice which i appreciate.
he said i have nice pictures. but i am in them too much.
so i could be a photographer because i take nice pictures, the quality…
is this true?
i dunno, i thought pictures of random shit were plain boring. i never meant to over-saturate my fucking-self. i guess i did. sorry. i am mad-OCD and grab all these cameras and take jillions of me-shots and stuff-shots and post all the good ones right away without thinking, “hrmm, i could get money for exclusive photos” “Hmmm, i’m fucking evil and greedy, i’m selling THAT.”
i think i have self-confidence issues.
anyhow, i just want to know what the big fuss is all about.
or maybe i want you to question it and let me know what you think the it is.
assuming you care.
hence the self-confidence issues.
tell me about this “raymi phenomenon”
and then i wonder if friend of perry even knows what it’s suppose to be about.
i don’t think dean in maine knows much either, seeing as, he’s just dean in maine, buckity-fuckity maine, maine to which contributed to my agoraphobic, depressed, muther-fucking drag-me-into-the-woods-and-leave-me-for-dead, maine.
friend of perry, i don’t want to be a photographer and take pictures for other people, of other people or their businesses or of their stupid lives unless it involves beauty, death, love or suffering. i find i write my best when my heart is breaking. honestly.
and dean, i don’t want to sit around and watch television and make observations about barbara walters and clean up my act for mainstream television.
i don’t want an office job, a go-to job, an any-job.
i don’t want to write off my freedoms.
why am i sitting here, 5:30 am, uploading photos, tinking with templates, spooling and spooling these run-on sentences?
why do i bother?
why do i do this for 3 years+ ?
why do i receive 50+ emails daily and respond to practically each and every one of them?
why do i get another 30+ emails weekly asking for sex, love, loss, friendship, fashion advice?
what who where why when the fuck am i?
WHO THE FUCK DO I THINK I AM?
i do have a point and no i am not yelling at you.
what i’m trying to do here is create a phenomenon.
all i know is raymi.com is fourth on the list when you type raymi in a google search and raymitheminx.blogspot.com is first.
and raymi? what the fuck is that?
i thought it was a name i made up for this sexpot of a girl in a book called, “The last minx.”
and naturally, the handle “raymi the minx” would come to seed.
i don’t want to tell you all my secrets just yet.
just know that there is a reason for everything i do.
and for everything i say.
im not trying to be anti-this and all wacky and sexual and female that.
i really could care less about feminism and the glass-ceiling effect and women wearing high-heels in the kitchen.
and men, what about them? who cares.
i don’t care about music and what’s popular and name brands and i’m not a big oooooh whooopeee “Culture-jammer”
fuck you spaniard for ever having said that to me, by the way.
you know-fucking-what? < to the crowd, not just to the spaniard >
>>>>>again, back to the music, yes i love it, i really do, but i don’t know song-names anymore or bands or show dates, what? Bo R i n g. i can’t stand up at a show for more than 30 minutes before i’m like, leave leave just finish your boring set. i didn’t even like that melt banana show.
anyway.
i don’t care about any of it, any of it, if it does not pertain to me i don’t care but wait, this does not mean i am ignorant and not paying attenion to some of it. i know this makes no sense right now but trust me, someday it will. i’m super-high and trying my best.
i’m not trying to be all, patting you on the back, guiding you down to the river with my other arm pointing out to the horizon and i’m saying something profound.
I just, fuck, i care and i don’t.
yes i want you to give me all of your money BUT only in exchange for my books, crappy karaoke hit cds, paid-website(s), raymi-series of documentaries, dance/karaoke parties, buying my garage sale crap, and more and more…
fuck, this sounds like a mission statement.
but you see, i have drive and i do care and i’m really, not_a_crook.
it is now 7:30am. the sun is up and i am about to retire to bed to rest for my 1:15pm psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and i was just trying to explain everything i could before all the air and water in my body went away to the cat and to the people here and i stayed awake because it is important you read this at your office desk today. nudity/coarse language firewalls or not.
it’s not a mission statement.
it’s not fake.
or cheesy.
i have never sacrificed a “stable-job” over “art” before.
so i don’t know what to say.
my eyes can’t take anymore.
just buy the book.
oh and tony, the blook i am going over with a pen and a ruler and i have ten million questions to ask you.
you fucking prick.
har har.
i am so mad from the fucking ten million conversations i have had in the last 20 minutes over msn and it is now 10 14 am and i have not slept and i look like a trash bin from trashcouchland and i only wanted to tell everybody to not email me and tell me negative things because i dont care for you if you dont care for me and no i dont have all the answers but im doing the best i can all by myself with very little help so the benefit of the doubt would be appreciated.
double g&t’s be where it’s at ya’ll.
yess’um.
katie maybe katherine maybe whatever the fuck her name is got angry at my porno site and the ten jillion porno pop-ups crashing her shite machine. that’s what you pay when you give in to the legion of raymi. you dig?
so i realised today that propositioning potential business ventures whilst three sheets to the wind might not always be the best of ideas but you know, fuuuuuggit they’re for or against you and if you’re classy enough to bust a move within three minutes having shakin’ their hand, it’s all gravy. baby.
sometimes you just need to go home and eat microwave popcorn and do 24 hr. laundry jaunts and after awhile the weed doesn’t even hit you.
i know that michael jackson has always been there for me.
what should i talk about now? how”s about the ten trillion beers and g&t’s? oh right, we’re trying to forget about that. i’m thankful i ain’t got no 9-5 office job to be at in less than 6 hours like yazzzz’all gots to. suckas.
“well no one told me about her, the way she lied.”
dear raymi
I was dating this girl from York, PA that I met at UK.� She ended up dropping out and we broke up, but I still would go to PA and visit her some.� Mainly because I was growing green, and she sold a large quantity of it for me.� She and her roommate…both of them bisexual (her roomie was a guy) sold it to be more specific.� At the time, I drove a ’64 T-bird.� It had 3 separate keys for ignition, doors and trunk.� I was toting about 5 lbs in the trunk, which would hold 4 people (another story for another day…nothing illegal).� I apparently had a tail light out.� As I passed Morgantown WV into Maryland, I got pulled over by a state trooper.� He informed me that my tail light was out.� I told him that I knew it was and that I had the bulb to change it, which I did, and showed him.� He decided I should go to the trunk and change it there on the side of the road.� I then explained to him the three keys situation, and lied and said that I didn’t have the key to the trunk, that it was in my dorm room with my other set of keys.� The guy then spent 45 minutes trying to jimmy my trunk open before giving up, and letting me go with a warning.
�
On my way back home 3 days later…I stopped for gas, and the same cop pulled in behind me.� I had fixed my light, and he demanded to know how.� I lied again, and told him I found my keys in my suitcase.� He then called in a dog and searched my car for 1 1/2 hours.� Obviously found nothing, but still gave me a near coronary.
Lee
i’m trying to find random exciting blogs/sites to link but it’s really hard and irritating and impossible (to say the least) to find things cooler than you. durr. anyhow, these losers don’t deserve your time.
you should not ever forget this and do not neglect the fact that
i budded in front of a lot of people in line to get into the karaoke place and one short dude in a bad italian mobster jacket got all huffy in my face and looked like he might cry after i sternly said, “look dude, don’t fucking yell at me i’m not in charge of the line.” and then when i went up to sing my song i apologized to the room for being a budder and added that i was more important anyways.
i had a video camera for fucksakes!!!!
so i sang oh darling, beeeatles-style and everyone clapped a lot and the lites went down and i was a superstar. my voice was complete rasp-and-churlyness but it was suitable for the song. yep yep.
then i went to sing i touch myself with the slutbunny girl. we got booed and booed so now i know that it is HER that causes all the booeyness and it only happens when we pretend to be in love with each other, so there.
i have to go have my picture taken on the balcony and i am only going to wear high heels and it is daytime so cars might smash into each other. i hope so.
song choice of the day – Delibes – Flower Duet
raymi,
I’m writing you this out of boredom I guess.� I live in Indiana and yep it’s boring which is why I smoke weed daily.� Pills are fun too, my mom gets xanax and gives them to my little sister and she gives them to me.� I also get hydrocodone sometimes.� I like hydros, they give me energy and make my face itch.
My family got real pissed off at me one time when I was 17 and got pregnant.� I didn’t give a fuck what they said tho.� Now I have 3 kids and just got married to the father almost one year ago exactly in Las Vegas.� I cried during the ceremony.� I was on the rag.� We have been together almost 11 years now (but married only 1).� He sells drugs too, which is nice cause we get our weed for free.� My family are all overachievers except for me, which is a source of agony for my mother who is a perfectionist.
I really like reading your site, and will read your book too when it’s finished.� I want to write a book someday and get published and rich if I can stay sober long enough.
Take care,
-T.
i’m sorry i slept all day long today. i should know better. i want you to know i didn’t mean to sleep as long as i did. i went to the bovine sex club last nite after work and then i went to marche and ate a waffle and then i went home and watched cast away and i cried inside during all the sad parts although i already saw this movie before. i’m kinda bad at watching movies with people, whether i’ve seen the movie before or not, i think out loud and ask questions and go, “OHHHH!!!!!!” when i have figured out what is going to happen. people get angry at me and then i get angry at them for getting angry at me and i’m all, “WHAT THE FUCK SIT OVER THERE THEN!” and then they think it is kinda funny but really we are both very very annoyed at one another. urrrg.
Speaking of Marche, (which is in the BCE Building) I fucking dig this place. I go at least 20 times a year. it’s perfect for my impulsive-needing-immediate-gratification-stupid-ass. you go in the market-thing and pick and choose what you want, serve yourself, sit down, eat and then leave. it’s like a cafeteria for those with more disposable income. the servers are all faux-fancy, total fresh-off-the-boat hirees. one dude helped me put ice chips in my glass of free fountain water and he looked at me all cock-eyed, expecting a tip or something. a gratuity charge of 12 per cent is automatically tacked onto your bill, where that goes, i have no idea. i doubt the company cares for their employees and is all, “there you go Billy, here’s yer extra money.” suuuure. the cool thing ’bout the place is you get this piece of paper and they stamp it everytime you get something like ice cream or a steak or a beer and then at the end you give this special piece of paper to the cashier and they tally up everything you ate. now, the thing in accepting this piece of paper is you are agreeing to the terms and all penalties in the event of you misplacing this piece of paper. what happens if you misplace it? they fine you 100 dollars bail or two days of dishwashing,straight-up. why? because MOVENPICK are deutsch assholes who run under the assumption that people want to steal hundreds of dollars worth of their mediocre cuisine. this marche i believe is the only one that is market-style and i think when they first opened up people were stealing food and walking right out the door without paying, so the special piece of paper method is what they thought up to avoid all that nastyness.
and there you have it. the food is good and i like the atmosphere. it’s at yonge and front. don’t hate me if it sucks for you. suckbag.
tomorrow raymi is gathering a posse and posse and raymi are going to the gladstone hotel for dirtbag karaoke. i hope we actually show up this time. i dunno, after 10pm? Queen st. W and the corner of Gladstone, before Dufferin. if it blows ass you can find me under a table at the cadillac lounge, up the street.
my roommate just called to tell me that my clothing rack collapsed and now my clothes are all over the floor in my room and i am having an anxiety attack over here envisioning it. arrrggghh!
parkdalemiddleton
���how was despairaoke
r le minx says:
���i didnt go to despairaoke
r le minx says:
���good name by the way
parkdalemiddleton
���ouch
parkdalemiddleton
���what went down then
r le minx says:
���i wanted to
r le minx says:
���i smoked too much weed and got angry
r le minx says:
���so i ate chocolate bars
parkdalemiddleton
���balance
r le minx says:
���and had a fight
parkdalemiddleton
���fisticuff fight?
r le minx says:
���no
r le minx says:
���but it wasnt my fault
parkdalemiddleton
���hmm, thought your b/f was in maine
parkdalemiddleton
���or new york
r le minx says:
���no that is over
parkdalemiddleton
���haha
r le minx says:
���we are soul sisters now
parkdalemiddleton
���how many b/fs now?
r le minx says:
���please dont laugh at my wreck of a life, thanks
parkdalemiddleton
���how many lovers?
r le minx says:
���the spy in nyc we have drifted, mutually and i am ok with it
r le minx says:
���just one love
parkdalemiddleton
���for some reason i dont completely believe you
parkdalemiddleton
���regardles
parkdalemiddleton
���you need to get yourself straight
parkdalemiddleton
���sad seeing you drift this way
r le minx says:
�� i am with one person at a time
r le minx says:
���i dont care if you believe me or not, im not on trial
parkdalemiddleton
���not just talking about that
parkdalemiddleton
���and im not putting you on trial
r le minx says:
���i have no fucking reason to lie to you
parkdalemiddleton
���im being a concerned parent
r le minx says:
���what dont u not believe
parkdalemiddleton
���firstly, i dont believe you have a grip on your actions
parkdalemiddleton
���i know im being stuffy and condemning
parkdalemiddleton
���but the intent is pure
r le minx says:
���look i know what im doing, i see the self destructiveness you dont need to fucking lecture me
parkdalemiddleton
���as i said
parkdalemiddleton
���less a lecture
r le minx says:
���you just need to be my goddamn friend and stop with yer smarmyness because it fucking hurts
parkdalemiddleton
���more caring
r le minx says:
���stop pointing out the obvious
r le minx says:
���thanks
r le minx says:
���and its not as bad as u are thinking it is
parkdalemiddleton
���sometimes i wonder how obvious the obvious is to you
r le minx says:
���restate that please
parkdalemiddleton
���sometimes i wonder how obvious the obvious is to you?
r le minx says:
���ok nevermind then
r le minx says:
���next topic
parkdalemiddleton
���download some ravi shankar
r le minx says:
���no
parkdalemiddleton
���the sounds of india
r le minx says:
���i posted the link to my work on my blog last nite
parkdalemiddleton
���maru bihag
r le minx says:
���so my todays shift is going to be paaaacked with traffic
parkdalemiddleton
���fuck raymi
r le minx says:
���im quitting there soon
r le minx says:
���and the stipulation is i dont show my vagina anymore
r le minx says:
���ever
parkdalemiddleton
���dont know what to say
r le minx says:
���why do u act so goddamn conservative all the time
r le minx says:
���youre really a fan of making people feel bad, huh?
parkdalemiddleton
���everyones got me figured out, thats forsure
r le minx says:
���ok whatever
r le minx says:
���next topic
r le minx says:
���well im just calling it as i see it, like you
parkdalemiddleton
���well explain stuff like..
parkdalemiddleton
���posting your work address on the blog
parkdalemiddleton
���whats the aim there?
r le minx says:
���traffic
r le minx says:
���for the site
r le minx says:
���hype for me
parkdalemiddleton
���for them?
parkdalemiddleton
���hype, exactly
parkdalemiddleton
���i hear your name now and then
r le minx says:
���advertising
r le minx says:
���people love it
parkdalemiddleton
���i run into people who’ve heard of you
parkdalemiddleton
���and the hype is always
r le minx says:
���its addictive
parkdalemiddleton
���..well, not good
r le minx says:
���gives� me a purpose to be there on time
r le minx says:
���i dont care about the general consensus
parkdalemiddleton
���i know
parkdalemiddleton
���and you shouldnt
r le minx says:
���consider the source
parkdalemiddleton
���but youre reinforcing it
r le minx says:
���these people dont reeeeally know me
parkdalemiddleton
���again, where do you want to be?
r le minx says:
���who are these people
r le minx says:
���dont ask me that
parkdalemiddleton
���maybe this is a kinda heavy/broad topic for chat
r le minx says:
���you dont believe in me, you dont support my cause, u give me nothing but grief
r le minx says:
���so why should i answer your questions
parkdalemiddleton
���its just concern on this end, seriously
parkdalemiddleton
���dont want to be your mom
r le minx says:
���i get 500 hits a day, people if they hate me or not, they are still watching me
parkdalemiddleton
���but..
parkdalemiddleton
���watching you what?
r le minx says:
���my blog, my work, all over the net, my trail
r le minx says:
���they dis me and then they give me 30 american dollars
r le minx says:
���things are changing now
r le minx says:
���i have a contract
r le minx says:
���i have a budget
parkdalemiddleton
���contract to do what
r le minx says:
���u have investors, capital, a following,
r le minx says:
���tv appearances
parkdalemiddleton
���where/what?
r le minx says:
���contract for raymitheminx tv
parkdalemiddleton
���on what provider?
r le minx says:
���and a show on the ***** network
r le minx says:
���i have to go home and pick up a video
r le minx says:
���to watch
r le minx says:
���im not all just talk you know
parkdalemiddleton
���***** network
r le minx says:
���thats one thing
parkdalemiddleton
���we havent heard of you
r le minx says:
���they are flying me to nyc, to massachusetts and one segment in toronto
parkdalemiddleton
���hear at **** network headquarters
parkdalemiddleton
���who you been talking to?
r le minx says:
���you’re **** ?
parkdalemiddleton
���yep
r le minx says:
���i mean **** as in the **** network
r le minx says:
���i think
parkdalemiddleton
���yes
r le minx says:
���well anyway im not giving you a name
parkdalemiddleton
���***** owns and operates it
parkdalemiddleton
���i work for ****
r le minx says:
���ok then
r le minx says:
���i dont think youd help my cause in any way just now
r le minx says:
���the way yer speaking to me
parkdalemiddleton
���how am i speaking to you?
r le minx says:
���youre all yah i met people and they dont speak too highly of you
r le minx says:
���whatever
r le minx says:
���i dont feel a good vibe from you anymore
parkdalemiddleton
���i know i always seem to come off like im getting down on people
r le minx says:
���youll just badmouth me
parkdalemiddleton
���sometimes i am
parkdalemiddleton
���most of the time im not
parkdalemiddleton
���i know
r le minx says:
���well just stop it ok
parkdalemiddleton
���its a deficiency of mine
parkdalemiddleton
���working on it
parkdalemiddleton
���but i want you to know
r le minx says:
���i know you more than you think and im smarter than u give me credit for
parkdalemiddleton
���that im not trying to get down on you
r le minx says:
���then change your tone
parkdalemiddleton
���i know that too raymi
parkdalemiddleton
���and thats why it bothers me
r le minx says:
���what bothers you
parkdalemiddleton
���like, why should it really bother me
parkdalemiddleton
���if i didnt care
parkdalemiddleton
���why would i even bring it up?
r le minx says:
���im fine, im doing fine
r le minx says:
���im a survivor
r le minx says:
���i am responsible
parkdalemiddleton
���as long as youre happy
r le minx says:
���im happy and im not, its my burden
r le minx says:
���not yours
parkdalemiddleton
���fair
r le minx says:
���anyhow, ill give u more details about the ****� when i hear more
r le minx says:
���its some new show theyre working on
r le minx says:
���and the woman chatted with me for ten minutes
r le minx says:
���i think she wants to use raymi the minx as a character
r le minx says:
���i just hope she wont steal my content
parkdalemiddleton
���if youre working with legit avenues they wont steal your content
parkdalemiddleton
���what content though?
r le minx says:
���me
r le minx says:
���me as a character
parkdalemiddleton
���your blog?
r le minx says:
���the ten million things ive done to date
r le minx says:
���my stories
r le minx says:
���my character
r le minx says:
���my ideas
r le minx says:
���how are things with you and your friend
parkdalemiddleton
���?
r le minx says:
���your friendship i mean
parkdalemiddleton
���i dunno, same?
r le minx says:
���its important, this friendship, i see
parkdalemiddleton
���explain
r le minx says:
���you need each other
r le minx says:
���period
parkdalemiddleton
���can you elaborate..
r le minx says:
���but u need to be� nicer to one another
r le minx says:
���and more patient
r le minx says:
���you are both uptight assholes
parkdalemiddleton
���??
r le minx says:
���but also pretty laidback and funny
r le minx says:
���this is my observation
r le minx says:
���only mine
r le minx says:
���take it as that
parkdalemiddleton
���uptight perhaps when compared to you..
r le minx says:
���oh ok then’
r le minx says:
���well whatever
r le minx says:
��� i dont understand people anymore
parkdalemiddleton
���k, so where were you trying to go
r le minx says:
���and im not going to pretend i do
parkdalemiddleton
���with the friend/me thing?
r le minx says:
���if i make people uncomfortable, so fucking what
r le minx says:
���oh i just felt like saying that
parkdalemiddleton
���ha, okay
parkdalemiddleton
���ya, i dont see our friendship the way you see it
r le minx says:
���oh ok then
r le minx says:
���you dont value people very much
parkdalemiddleton
���lets face it, youve only scraped the surface of parkdale
r le minx says:
���or see their true worth
parkdalemiddleton
���nonsense
r le minx says:
���i see more to it
r le minx says:
���see thats bollocks, all you ever do is write people off
parkdalemiddleton
���you really dont know much about me, raymi
r le minx says:
���typical
r le minx says:
���whatever
r le minx says:
���i know what isee
parkdalemiddleton
���you dont see much though
parkdalemiddleton
���so how can you say that?
parkdalemiddleton
���even friend knows little
r le minx says:
���i hear things
parkdalemiddleton
���about what im really up to
r le minx says:
���i see things
parkdalemiddleton
���nobody
r le minx says:
���ok lemme in on the huge fucking secret then
r le minx says:
���mister fabulous
parkdalemiddleton
���there is no big secret
r le minx says:
���’what im really up to” ?
parkdalemiddleton
���im shelled up raymi
r le minx says:
���i know this already
r le minx says:
���why are you so closed
parkdalemiddleton
���i have a couple of people i Really talk to
parkdalemiddleton
���and thats all im comfortable with
r le minx says:
���i understand
r le minx says:
���you dont trust very many people
parkdalemiddleton
���yes/no
parkdalemiddleton
���hard to say
r le minx says:
���you let past experiences influence what you are doing today
r le minx says:
���its a shame
parkdalemiddleton
���history always dictates
parkdalemiddleton
���but not absolutely
r le minx says:
���you are a prisoner
parkdalemiddleton
���everything is grey
parkdalemiddleton
���no right or wrong
r le minx says:
���like a rape victim
parkdalemiddleton
���no left or right
r le minx says:
���once bitten, twice shy
parkdalemiddleton
���not quite like that really
r le minx says:
���bollocks
r le minx says:
���i see u as black n white, surely
parkdalemiddleton
���see, thats the myth
parkdalemiddleton
��� parkdale really isnt bitter
parkdalemiddleton
���there is No black or white with me
r le minx says:
���parkdale really isnt bitter?
r le minx says:
���yah right
parkdalemiddleton
���my attitude changes hourly
parkdalemiddleton
���im a lot like you raymi
parkdalemiddleton
���i just dont post it
r le minx says:
���i dont post everything
r le minx says:
���i keep secrets too, believe it or not
parkdalemiddleton
���everyone does
parkdalemiddleton
���i just keep way more
r le minx says:
���im comfortable expressing myself
r le minx says:
���not being censored
parkdalemiddleton
���who’d want to be
parkdalemiddleton
���i dont feel censored
r le minx says:
���ok
r le minx says:
���i feel like everyone hates me sometimes
parkdalemiddleton
���reputations are hard to keep in line
parkdalemiddleton
���especially when people dont know yyou
r le minx says:
���no theres a difference
parkdalemiddleton
���i was talking with a girl the other day
r le minx says:
���im talking about people i know, cahsiers, waiters
parkdalemiddleton
���who heard of you
r le minx says:
���ok who is this girl
r le minx says:
���girls hate me especially
parkdalemiddleton
���just some girl
parkdalemiddleton
���irrelevant
parkdalemiddleton
���but i asked her
r le minx says:
���i dont have patience for random girls who dont know the full story
parkdalemiddleton
���how she knew you
r le minx says:
���ok
r le minx says:
���and how did she know me
r le minx says:
���did she know me personally
parkdalemiddleton
���and she said that she kept running into these guys
parkdalemiddleton
���who’ve all slept with you over the last year
r le minx says:
���hahhaaa
parkdalemiddleton
���she wasnt passing judgement
parkdalemiddleton
���it was just how she knew your name
r le minx says:
���which guys and who is she
r le minx says:
���hmmm
parkdalemiddleton
���not important, furthermore
parkdalemiddleton
���its not even important whether its true or not
parkdalemiddleton
���know what i mean?
r le minx says:
���well you and friend are the first people ive hung with who actively refer to me as raymi
r le minx says:
���and not my real name
r le minx says:
���so if she is slinging around the name raymi from some guys over the past year who all allegedly slept with me, it’s bs.
parkdalemiddleton
���doesnt matter
parkdalemiddleton
���as i said
r le minx says:
���ive heard lots of alleged scandallous stories
r le minx says:
���involving my name
r le minx says:
���but WHO was the girl
parkdalemiddleton
���yes, and it doesnt matter whether theyre true or not
parkdalemiddleton
���those stories are all about ypu
parkdalemiddleton
���this is what people think
r le minx says:
���kuz i am pretty fucking sensitive about this sort of thing, i was not so promiscuous this past year, i had boyfriends -� a new thing in a long time
r le minx says:
���and if th\ere is a general consensus of my sluttiness going around i have a right to know too
parkdalemiddleton
���im going to be blunt here
r le minx says:
���so tell me who
parkdalemiddleton
���your blog makes you out to be some young, drug binging slut
parkdalemiddleton
���and youre not
r le minx says:
���uhhh duhhh
r le minx says:
���im a binger
r le minx says:
���and im young
r le minx says:
���but im not a slut
parkdalemiddleton
���says who?
r le minx says:
���its scandal
parkdalemiddleton
���not you
r le minx says:
���it draws people
r le minx says:
���i know what works
parkdalemiddleton
���scandal doesnt last
r le minx says:
�� sex sells you know
parkdalemiddleton
���ooo sex sells
parkdalemiddleton
���nice
r le minx says:
���i know thats why i have more to offer aside from that
r le minx says:
���can u fuucking tell me this girls name please
r le minx says:
���or just leave me alone
parkdalemiddleton
���doesnt matter
parkdalemiddleton
���why
r le minx says:
���you are either with or against me
parkdalemiddleton
���so you can track her down
r le minx says:
���tell me now or bugger off
parkdalemiddleton
���or justify/bash her comment
parkdalemiddleton
���and name
r le minx says:
���i wont track her down jesus christ
r le minx says:
���what if she is a friend of mine
r le minx says:
���eh
r le minx says:
���ever consider that
parkdalemiddleton
���no, she doesnt know you
parkdalemiddleton
���personally
parkdalemiddleton
���never met you in fact
r le minx says:
���TELL ME HER GODDAMN NAME
parkdalemiddleton
���susan
r le minx says:
���how old
parkdalemiddleton
���satiated?
r le minx says:
���what does she do
parkdalemiddleton
���36 yr old housewife
parkdalemiddleton
���from columbus ohio
r le minx says:
���are u making this up
parkdalemiddleton
���yes
r le minx says:
���oh ok
r le minx says:
���see im gullible
parkdalemiddleton
���raymi
parkdalemiddleton
���you dont get it
parkdalemiddleton
���she doesnt know you
r le minx says:
���im like, ‘how can she bump into my lovers?”
parkdalemiddleton
���end of story
r le minx says:
���ok fuck it
r le minx says:
���fuuuuuck it
r le minx says:
���im happier than these people
r le minx says:
���i have drive
r le minx says:
���im going someplace
r le minx says:
���15 minutes or not
r le minx says:
���fuck them all
parkdalemiddleton
���you dont sound happy
parkdalemiddleton
���not at all
parkdalemiddleton
���look for you later
r le minx says:
one more question, do people deserve to read me for free, still?
parkdalemiddleton may not respond because he or she appears to be Away
anti says:
���that’s a hard question…
anti says:
���i’m not sure
anti says:
���because i don’t want to cut MYself outta the “gets to read it” loop
r le minx says:
���you wont
r le minx says:
���dont worry
r le minx says:
���tell me the answer now
anti says:
���well, i think it gives you a lot of exposure as well…
anti says:
���like building a fan base
r le minx says:
���yes
r le minx says:
���some things will always be free
r le minx says:
���while others, no
anti says:
���that’s more like it…. do this now
anti says:
���you’ve been writing a lot all of the sudden, are you back home?
r le minx says:
���no
r le minx says:
���so tell me the answer now
anti says:
���ppl do NOT deserve to read for free
r le minx says:
���ok thank you
anti says:
���i’ve been meaning to make a raymi donation myself
r le minx says:
���awww really?
anti says:
���to compensate for having part of your book
r le minx says:
���awwwwwwwww
r le minx says:
���thanks
anti says:
���but i lost my credit card at some bar and they still have it
anti says:
���and i’m too lazy to go get it
r le minx says:
���hahaha drunk
oh and did you know that Brett Lamb made fun of me sort of and then he gave me ten american dollars. hahaahaaaaa. nice. great name by the way, i knew a guy named brett and he got decked by the side-mirror of this van right in the head and itmade him grow up totally retarded. hmm, i guess that part isn’t really funny, but, yah, kind of ’cause i’m laughing to myself right now. ohhhh. jeeez. i also extremely love bitterman.
This just might be the dumbest thing i do to date but you know, i don’t much care anymore. wait, i DO care, i really do. it’s probably this caring-business that gets me into the trouble i get myself into. i want to help people, i want success for me and for you and i want to give you all my money and even put my own safety in jeopardy to help benefit your cause, but you know, it’s this undying belief that you really won’t hurt me or show up with explosives and this belief makes me do the things i do and say the things i say.
i have broken my mother’s heart and soon my father will disown me and my brother is so ashamed. i just don’t fit into their mould and i do not meet their expectations. now, they simply want me to stop being a junky and to stop being so fucking depressed.
i’ve kept secrets for a very very very long time. i’ve played one side against the other, i’ve been manipulative and deceitful and arrogant and petty.
i’ve decided not to lie anymore.
i’ve decided you can see me live and see what i do for a living and all that jazz. but i will not show you my vagina. i won’t. and you can buy time and talk to me on the phone and have a big picture and free sound, or you can just login as a guest and view me for five minutes and keep logging back in over and over. right now it is a free site, it makes money via private purchases. there are also ten other girls who work for the site. we are live models. there is no porn but there sometimes are girl on girl shows which are kinda boring. i don’t know for how much longer i will be working at this site. something has to change. i know i know. i’ve been doing it since late june and i have so much free time it is disgusting.
you can mingle with pervs and watch them complain about all this shit they’re getting for free like sound and video and a hot half naked bitch and they go, “lemme see your pussssy” and they are all pakis and stuff. heheh. it’s great fun. people who don’t understand the concept of FREE really piss me off. you register with a credit card via paypal or through the company, there is no monthly fee. read FAQ or ask a member. yah. the benefits of membership are free sound and a big picture, guests have a tiny screen to view. and it’s a fucking great video feed. that is all. just be there you homos. oh right, and my stage name is nikola. hahaa. and my next shift after that is sunday the 12th 6-9pm my time. you can check the schedule on the site every week for my hours. wheeee! tony pierce looked at it and he fell in love, just ask him. oh right and if you take me private there is a 1800 number u can call in for free if u live in north america and we can have cheap phone sex and/or complain about bingo and gas prices. there is also sound if you are a member but don’t want to go private. nice!
there’s this dude who strolls around one of them 24hr. grocery shoppin’ joints and last time we went he finally talked to us and it was not less than ten seconds after this photo been’dun taken. he said in a russian accent, “there is no pho-to-graphs allowed to be takinin ‘distore.” we shit our pants. he fucking bums me out. like he jumps out from behind a display of bounty paper towels in the hopes of catching us in the act of stealing and i’m all in the middle of comparing basmati to jasmin rice. so we irritate him with our thiefing of the cheese crusty bits that fall off the bakery pizza buns. they can’t charge you for those but still we know it aggrivates the guy. i don’t want to talk about him anymore. he hurts my feelings because he never smiles at me.
sometimes i don’t want a penis or a face, you know, just be subhuman
like a robot? a-sexual?
yah.
i don’t think i’m naked enough or pretty enough in that photo up there.
oh.
yah.
i’m listening to tom jones with portishead and tom jones is saying over and over, “sumtiiiiiiimes i feeeeeel like a motherless child.” why does he sound so sad? i don’t understand. tom joens is suppose to be uppity and happy and nice and makes everyone smile like carlton on fresh prince of bel air. anyhow, now another song is on and it is just portishead.
i heard you filled up five condoms with water in the bathtub last nite and they looked like alien babies floating around in there and then you popped them all except one and put that one on the balcony to let it freeze but it didn’t when you looked at it this morning. four were sheik condoms the other was a miscellaneous condom that you found in your mum’s house that your friend left there ’cause he thought he might get laid that nite.
but not by me.
not by you.
my neighbour.
you’re very protective of your sex-life and secretive about it all.
yes i feel extremely protective of my body that’s why i woulda been so annoyed had i gotten raped that other nite.
oh yah, i agree.
my friends want to M U UUU RDER that dude. then we would be true criminals and go on a convertible ride through texas to mexico and hawaii, right?
but he didn’t even rape you.
yes but if he did it would just be embarassing for him and make him feel uncomfortable.
why?
his body looked slack and his hair was like a faggy music composer’s and he had a hobbit-face.
oh wow, how traumatizing.
do you think he is still out there waiting for me? i think there are probably at least 30 people who want to kill me to date.
that makes me nervous.
are you KIDDING? no duh.
knock knock
who’s there?
Matthew
Matthew who?
Maaaaaa-Thieu is untied.
