oh and did you know that Brett Lamb made fun of me sort of and then he gave me ten american dollars. hahaahaaaaa. nice. great name by the way, i knew a guy named brett and he got decked by the side-mirror of this van right in the head and itmade him grow up totally retarded. hmm, i guess that part isn’t really funny, but, yah, kind of ’cause i’m laughing to myself right now. ohhhh. jeeez. i also extremely love bitterman.
This just might be the dumbest thing i do to date but you know, i don’t much care anymore. wait, i DO care, i really do. it’s probably this caring-business that gets me into the trouble i get myself into. i want to help people, i want success for me and for you and i want to give you all my money and even put my own safety in jeopardy to help benefit your cause, but you know, it’s this undying belief that you really won’t hurt me or show up with explosives and this belief makes me do the things i do and say the things i say.
i have broken my mother’s heart and soon my father will disown me and my brother is so ashamed. i just don’t fit into their mould and i do not meet their expectations. now, they simply want me to stop being a junky and to stop being so fucking depressed.
i’ve kept secrets for a very very very long time. i’ve played one side against the other, i’ve been manipulative and deceitful and arrogant and petty.
i’ve decided not to lie anymore.
i’ve decided you can see me live and see what i do for a living and all that jazz. but i will not show you my vagina. i won’t. and you can buy time and talk to me on the phone and have a big picture and free sound, or you can just login as a guest and view me for five minutes and keep logging back in over and over. right now it is a free site, it makes money via private purchases. there are also ten other girls who work for the site. we are live models. there is no porn but there sometimes are girl on girl shows which are kinda boring. i don’t know for how much longer i will be working at this site. something has to change. i know i know. i’ve been doing it since late june and i have so much free time it is disgusting.
you can mingle with pervs and watch them complain about all this shit they’re getting for free like sound and video and a hot half naked bitch and they go, “lemme see your pussssy” and they are all pakis and stuff. heheh. it’s great fun. people who don’t understand the concept of FREE really piss me off. you register with a credit card via paypal or through the company, there is no monthly fee. read FAQ or ask a member. yah. the benefits of membership are free sound and a big picture, guests have a tiny screen to view. and it’s a fucking great video feed. that is all. just be there you homos. oh right, and my stage name is nikola. hahaa. and my next shift after that is sunday the 12th 6-9pm my time. you can check the schedule on the site every week for my hours. wheeee! tony pierce looked at it and he fell in love, just ask him. oh right and if you take me private there is a 1800 number u can call in for free if u live in north america and we can have cheap phone sex and/or complain about bingo and gas prices. there is also sound if you are a member but don’t want to go private. nice!
there’s this dude who strolls around one of them 24hr. grocery shoppin’ joints and last time we went he finally talked to us and it was not less than ten seconds after this photo been’dun taken. he said in a russian accent, “there is no pho-to-graphs allowed to be takinin ‘distore.” we shit our pants. he fucking bums me out. like he jumps out from behind a display of bounty paper towels in the hopes of catching us in the act of stealing and i’m all in the middle of comparing basmati to jasmin rice. so we irritate him with our thiefing of the cheese crusty bits that fall off the bakery pizza buns. they can’t charge you for those but still we know it aggrivates the guy. i don’t want to talk about him anymore. he hurts my feelings because he never smiles at me.
sometimes i don’t want a penis or a face, you know, just be subhuman
like a robot? a-sexual?
yah.
i don’t think i’m naked enough or pretty enough in that photo up there.
oh.
yah.
i’m listening to tom jones with portishead and tom jones is saying over and over, “sumtiiiiiiimes i feeeeeel like a motherless child.” why does he sound so sad? i don’t understand. tom joens is suppose to be uppity and happy and nice and makes everyone smile like carlton on fresh prince of bel air. anyhow, now another song is on and it is just portishead.
i heard you filled up five condoms with water in the bathtub last nite and they looked like alien babies floating around in there and then you popped them all except one and put that one on the balcony to let it freeze but it didn’t when you looked at it this morning. four were sheik condoms the other was a miscellaneous condom that you found in your mum’s house that your friend left there ’cause he thought he might get laid that nite.
but not by me.
not by you.
my neighbour.
you’re very protective of your sex-life and secretive about it all.
yes i feel extremely protective of my body that’s why i woulda been so annoyed had i gotten raped that other nite.
oh yah, i agree.
my friends want to M U UUU RDER that dude. then we would be true criminals and go on a convertible ride through texas to mexico and hawaii, right?
but he didn’t even rape you.
yes but if he did it would just be embarassing for him and make him feel uncomfortable.
why?
his body looked slack and his hair was like a faggy music composer’s and he had a hobbit-face.
oh wow, how traumatizing.
do you think he is still out there waiting for me? i think there are probably at least 30 people who want to kill me to date.
that makes me nervous.
are you KIDDING? no duh.
knock knock
who’s there?
Matthew
Matthew who?
Maaaaaa-Thieu is untied.
