boring in a creative way

Holy it’s hard to do this shit now. What I mean is it’s hard to make time for it. To blog. I get it man, I get it — when they were always like “Oh my god if I didn’t have to go to work every day maybe I could be a popular blogger too” which still sounds like an excuse parading as an attempt to extinguish my own talent and dedication to the craft what is blogging BUT all I’m saying is I have been meaning to update pretty much every single day for the last month okay, and I am sorry about that. I received a spike in traffic the other day on my 17th year blogiversary and I thought it would have been a good idea to have something new up at the time. I am your classic gifted under achiever smug af writer. “I’ll get around to it”. Yeah um, years are flying by asshole. Give the people what they want now. Show this alleged writer’s craft marinating around your head day in and out. Make the moneeeeeeeeeey.

Alright. Lets start with thanking the audience for participating in my psychopathological (majority of) life-long obsession social experiment-in part that has gone on for too long in only that I should have published a solid book my now. Just think of me as one of those very cautious (lazy) and waiting for “the right moment” types of authors. Like the guy who finally wrote a book by blinking it all out painstakingly one, letter, at, an, insufferable, time. BY BLINKING IT TO A NURSE.

Then when he was done he died!!!!

Lol it’s true and is a movie you can rent… the something and the butterfly.

As you can see I 1. barely care and 2. have a terrible memory. 3. this is not wikipedia

I feel I have just consumed so much information from consuming the internet for so long it has wiped my hard drive. Like someone who did too much acid which btw, I have never tried. No need.

Where was I.

This post is an exercise in finding my bearings again and just to simply pleasure write again, in essence, and spin a yarn for the superfans. I really hate when bloggers stop blogging and it’s nice to live vicariously through other people, your favourites to stalk there is only so much one can derive from Netflix. Spying on each other is so f–ing good! Facebook, Instagram, am I right? They’ve dominated blogging right out of the running in terms of instantaneousness (I make super blog posts, I don’t do micro pointless clickbait ones). It’s easier to be an instagram star now. I am old(er) now and can’t do all the shit I used to for attention, so like, here are my words bro.

I just went into a blog post draft I started the night before my new job and yikes guy. Talk about over-thinking it. The post is entitled, “highly woke” and is pure useless nonsense about my fashion sense unlike this astute piece of Shakespeare before you.

I am tired now. Does this suffice, yet?

The reason I don’t smile in work selfies is because I don’t want people to know that I am taking them so if I always hold my phone like a statue and don’t smile they might think I am checking out stocks or like, intelligent websites that I am usually sleuthing for work purposes anyway (not lying we got content calendars to fill yo me bredren) but yeah it’s fun to get your work fashions on over the weekend I picked up a bunch of shirts from Burlington I had chilling just waiting for me, nice nice.

I have to write stuff for work too and I know that writing this post will help me with that as I am rusty and need to get back into it again. Talking, writing, just language in general. There are so many formats in which you need to communicate to various types of people, be formal professional and fun, but mostly the formal and you may hazard a guess at how good I am at all of that. Sometimes you wanna go off the rails and write an all caps lock rant idk, that’s fine but it’s better to do it without swearing or burning a bridge, insulting someone. Maybe perhaps it’s best to stfu and say nothing. Not every emotion or thought needs to be expressed.

Anyway. I am loving my new job. It is quite rewarding. I will tell you more about it in time.

This was the AMA (American Marketing Academy) event from earlier in November. Going out is important for networking, and is always worth it because you get great ideas. I always say any (good) event can make me for a month afterward if I work it enough. Some people don’t need to, fine fine, good for you but I just mean you will always meet somebody new to collab with and I am social af, I like to chat and laugh. If it’s not fun, I am not there. It all feeds into itself. These are my lifestyle blogging roots in play. Trying to tow the line between being myself and being what I think they want me to be and, who is they? Hahaa.

I am starving right now my brain is eating itself sorry for being incoherent or insecure I am going to press pause and order delivery now brb.

I ordered Peking Express I can’t wait. Update it’s here and I didn’t tip very well oopsies.

For the last month I have been re-watching (spacing out during some episodes) Mad Men and now I am a few episoes away from completion. Julian has been watching with me and got into it. You can picture me eating chinese food watching it tonight if you have nothing better to do. I enjoy it because I spot newer things I like watching people work I guess? It’s not as interesting now though because there is less work happening. Wow I’m a super funaholic.

This was on Halloween. We didn’t do anything. I feel like we stopped into the bar on the corner. It’s likely.

I was on a tv show. I don’t take acting as seriously as Julian does so I will legit spill the beans and tell you which show once I confirm that I can at least say that? I got more air time than him for once. He’s been in a babillion productions since summer and is surprisingly not a braggart about it or posts costume selfies or wardrobe or any of that. One day pretty soon I’m going to post this Elizabethan kinda gown I wore on another production that I will not name so that there is no way they can sue me for it. Fuck it. My blog comes first! I have gotten gigs specifically because I am Raymi The Minx and non-actra aka “a somebody” or requested talent so I don’t bow to the whims or ways of “acting world” rules ya feel me? The pay is shit. The hours are shit. Most of the people are shit. It makes you look like shit (tired) and you get sick. You watch everyone before you get to eat. There are so many laughable things. You are basically annoyed the entire time. You have to listen to stupid people all day long that you can’t just tell to shut up. So you listen to them talk and talk and get shushed or screamed at by AD’s or Directors. Sometimes it’s fun and okay. You just need to be the right person for it. I’m hangry and I am not trying to be biased, just reporting. It’s good when they book Julian and I together but I can only really do it on weekends now and you can’t predict when you’ll get a call for something. We were in the Nutcracker too and I am only saying that to impress any little old lady reading this now.

I probably also hate acting because I always feel ugly because the look is out of my control and the MUA doesn’t know how to make me look pretty how only “I” can tbh and there are no instagram filters on set. Okay this post has degenerated into abbreviations gtg xo haha zzz ilu bye!

blog dj

Hey pals. Look I selfie stick now it’s the latest new thing. A girl I know dropped her Iphone while on top of a volcano on her destination wedding trip recently and I think about that each time I use it. Yikes.

This blog post is going to be about THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

Woah that sounds dark *knocks on wood*. THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF MY LIFE. SHIT I DONE THE LAST FEW WEEKS. Good and good lets look.

Love this ring. It’s Medeival kinda and well made. Do you know the kind of stone it is? We went to a church sale. Got a good deal on my finds I did. Julian has the other ring I got it’s too big afterall. The pair compliment each other.

I have her email I must write to her before I lose the card.

We had dinner at a nice place in an undisclosed location. Post bday hangover thing. I dressed like a lion tamer four year old.

I have no idea how to caption this @julianbachlow

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Julian says I can’t do nudes anymore and if I do he’s going to do them too until I stop it. HAhahaha. One day I will (re)-tell you the story of how we met years ago. It’s actually in my blog archive six years back hint for the psychos/hardcores who just must know.

My caesar baby.

Dinner times!

SO good. Heavenly.

Don’t be a champagne snob it was perfs.

His.

Butter chicken. Next time I would just order this so I can eat it all in one sitting. Date night is great night. As long as you restrict in between WHICH I haven’t at all except for when in the city. Whatevs just enjoy life.

We bought that ball when we went on an art supply bender at Michaels. Which reminds me of a piece I need to write about them. Note to self for later.

Julian’s 30th BDay party. We are the party. Brett came by too. It stormed crazy all night long and the lights would go out it was exhilarating a bit.

Ah derps. Earlier that day we went to the Mandarin and had a walk which Julian’s Dad recorded of all of us in High DEF 3D and we watched it the other day it’s hysterical af I can’t even begin to describe it LOL.

Dirty 30 @julianbachlow wet chair mandarin buffet and new friends.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Fellow early bird Mandarin diners like us too. They are like 90 years old a piece (about). Merv stopped us for a chat on our way out adorb and pervy. Merv the perv ftw! Gord, Merv and John. When you are zany in love your energy spreads like wildfire. They asked who’s bday it was and I said Julian’s, he’s 30. They gab for a bit and then I go and I am 33 all proud af and that gave Merv the thrill of a lifetime. He repeated it many times afterward, “you’re 33. So, you’re thirty threeee eh.”

New show #SUPERMODEL MARKET @julianbachlow @raymitheminx pose-off Aisle 5.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Our other bestie is the girl at the supermarket and we show her what we plan to eat that night and the wine to go with it or caesars. She must be bored out of her mind and we’re the perfect storm for that. She’s like how were your puffs last night I am like oh we destroyed them you know it! Totally this close to asking her to hang out but will leave the two worlds separated probably for the best.

We went to a stag n doe one night in the pouring rain and predictably got obliterated and later on my purse was attacked by a spraypaint stenciling monster. It looks like something from a Destiny’s Child music video. In case you are wondering that means it is tacky oh well what me worry. I hate this purse to be honest it’s so small I have to carry my phone alongside it if I want it to close if I have too many other things in there. Like I have to choose between what is really necessary to take with and I am a hoarder so therfore this teeny purse blows. Will be good for a cocktail gala I will never be invited to plus it’s no longer black so fail fail fail like a whale.

I am pretty sure I will survive.

That is some 30th Birthday look eh. He still gets carded for smokes. And still smokes.

Enjoyed this windy walk my dress flew all over the place and I was sweltering like a mennonite in my black tights. I am so pale right now if it wasn’t a family walk I would have removed stockings.

Road cheese emergency. Almost as good as road head. Wait a minute. Tons better than muahaha.

I love this set-up.

lul.

I got Kanye dissed. I prevailed with this treasure for you.

We have been hotel life for a bit here and there. “It is neat”.

<3.

June 6th at The Horseshoe. You will hear something you have never heard before and see magical things. It’s Shoeless Monday (FREE AF) it’ll be a party come dance.

SHOW FLYER THERE YOU GO YO. Plus soundcloud listen to him so talented.

Shrug.

I also went golfing. There will be a whole Rayme Toronto post on that. I smashed those balls brah I am good at golf and athletic, competitive. Give me a thing and I will do it.

It was nice to see another lifer too, a blog diva such as myself wedding girl .ca I think? Don’t worry like I said full post later on just relax okay.

Then I was feeling myself. Generally I am self conscious of my looks and feeling fugly, like a scruff. When I am on fleek I celebrate that so just shoosh ya haters.

I wasn’t done yet though.

Some more highlights.

FO’ SALE. The wolf looks like this now:

Wolfy watches you. Make an offer I cannot refuse #starvingartist.

Aerial fitness class taught by Shannon yesterday on Yonge. Loved it.

My uniform. Reject shirt the shoes are wrong LOL!

I’ve got one left of these numbers, this one no longer looks like this as I added layers of gold and whatever to it who even knows.

There we go the one on the right is avail. The middle is for my bro’s daughter who will be due in…June? The one on the left is going to Nawlins. I have a lot of paintings to ship actually. Do whatever you can on the side to make money am I right am I right? I am right.

The weather was great this day. There is just something about sun. Well. A lot of things but you know what I mean. IT IS MAGIC FROM THE SKY.

I am so Justin Bieber. Don’t hate me cos ya ain’t me.

(I will never say that term again here promies). OMG promies is my new thing now though. I am so Raymazing. I mean. Grateful for my mind. Sometimes it works against me and sometimes it is fine.

Buttons and teddy bears for the baby girl I should have gotten a bow stencil. Stenciling is fun. I killed the can of pink spraypaint.

I am cool. This place is awesome actually.

Guess who is a hypocrite secretly drinking boxed water like a douchebag for weeks meow ha ha!

These guys. Will be chillin in BTown this long weekend. Should be purty tight. AND the Hammer!

Here I am looking juicy picking up my glasses then Julian wanted a pair.

The power was going out one night so then we were forced to all talk to each other once my laptop died and our wine dance party was over LOL and I learned some truly interesting things. There is always wildlife and creatures roaming the property and howling winds it gets spooky.

Lana had an art show at Paletta mansion I finally got to see the inside of it. I have spent a lot of times on the grounds in the park generally loitering and just mooning about in the flowers and forest. I know the history it’s kinda Gatsby-esque in an extremely Ontario/Hamilton steel fires burning across the water fashion.

Just you know, more of my giftedness.

I ate one. I had to could not resist and I have zero shame. The middle had something in it I forget. Delicious though.

Another lovely day spent on Queen west.

I should not have looked at this.

Love embedding tweets what a time saver. I uploaded all of these for the most part to flickr anyway. This catched the sun and burns birght gold and looks totally normal girly cute not-intense when not lit up.

FEEL SELF SHOW SELF.

Julian collects lot sof weird masks accessories and disguises like me.

Catching the last bit of sun. It has been a long winter.

Stagg chili philly cream cheese layered dip I added mushrooms and green onions too. Seen seen. Steph’s superbowl chili recipe. You throw the tin away when done.

I have gained weight but am quickly getting back in shape again so it doesn’t really matter now does it. I am a foodie it is what I do!

We showed up to Ukranian Easter at his relatives with my hair like this and Julian’s Dad was all oh my god get that shit out of your hair what!??! HAhaha. That means he liked it.

I tried blood sausage. Omg whyyy???? It tastes like it sounds and looks.

The moment my pizza got smushed at that wrestling party at Super Wonder Gallery I have a lot of crap to catch up on.

Absolutely hilarious though. We partied with all the wrestler actors backstage afterward.

I just love to win.

A video posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

I am a ham.

Girl trying to get the most attention at the art show #outfit.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

My outfit.

OMG there is me LOL. This was the most hilarious night ever I did not stop laughing for 3 hours straight. I will write about it later I promies.

PROFESSIONAL was his name and people were just arbitrarily yelling it out. I could not stop laughing at all.

This past Monday.

Next level.

I went for wings dressed like that. FABULOUS.

Buy this giant lampshadelier!

In real life you need to see it to take in the awesome of its grandness. It is sister to a bunch like it in a Mexican resto in the Distillery District. Make an offer!

Dying to know what happened here.

New twerk pants thank you Shannon.

Before Aerial class yesterday we did Ass Kick. I am loving these Brass Vixens classes big time. It’s a lifestyle, social club and good routine to get into. Not to mention fun. There are three BrassVixens locations in Toronto and one in Mississauga.

It’s a zen-like space in there. Good to shut the world out in.

Once I get pics of each class I take I can finally do the full classes. I am OCD plus abide by my own Raymism motto. PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IF YOU DON’T SHOW. There are a lot of life moments I use to cover each bit of incessantly and there’s just so much life that I live these days I cannot even begin to capture it all. I still have the urge and I still make the effort but just lesser and, it irks me. #blogshame.

Lunch reward is gangster. I am happy to be bonding with my buddy Shannon lately. It’s fun to make plans together. I am one of those needs things to look forward to types. I think many people are.

Model practise @sarasaraduke dress to be seen out in an apple orchard very soon.

A photo posted by Raymi Lauren (@raymitheminx) on

Aaaaand my new dress I finally tried on and we are done here for now folks thank the blog and goodnight!

HOW TO BLOG AGAIN

Hey ding dongs. Sorry I suck. Sorry all blog posts begin here with saying sorry. I am Canadian I will have you know. It’s in our nature to be apologetic for no reason. We were born guilty. If we hold a door open FOR you we will even apologize at the very same moment you walk through it idk why we just do c’est la vie. I have a pile of blog posts in queue plus a to do list (as does everyone else on the planet) but I was just on the pisser lamenting how behind I feel I am so here I am now saying hi.

I am all about the non-blog post and I feel you are too. I had a passion for this shit back in the day and feel like an expert if you will. I can remember people being like, they have no time to blog or have any energy and NOW I know what they meeeeean. I was younger when I was killing it in the blog game so to speak and now I am older and older people have less energy as they go through life. I would love that pill Bradley Cooper takes in Limitless for example and become a writing speed machine again.

Okay so here is how you blog again:

1. When the moment strikes to blog, take it. Just start typing type type type like I’m doing right now.

2. When a fellow past bloggy friend emails you for an interview that showcases your opinions and skills, whatever, DO IT. I have a request such as this and am going to make time for it for once. Any opportunity to write about yourself in any vein, do it. It’s going to help open up my mind to my own process again and I am very grateful that Keira reached out.

3. Keep it simple. THIS I struggle with. I have shit all over the place and I do too much, photograph so much and it all overwhelms me. I just “can’t even” anymore. So I will work on keeping it simple.

4. Turn off email. Close social media. Turn your phone upside down and have it on silent. Clear all your “must take care of’s” bullshittery beforehand so you can focus and not feel like they’re after you.

5. Do all of your rituals. Your OCD quirks like rolling a doobie, have your coffee cup filled, water, take a pee and do some light stretching because if you just give’r and jump in there and are in the middle of a groove and halfway through a hunger pang strikes while you are blogging about RECYCLING AS A METAPHOR or whatever…don’t lose that train of thought. So have snacks nearby or eat beforehand.

6. okay fine go to the bathroom because it’s hard to write when you gotta go. Also don’t forget your SEO (google it – the new frontier).

7. Just do it. Do it rather than don’t do it and it will come back to you again. My voice has changed so much so over the years that I am tripping up over the dumbest shit like, how I speak, which is exactly how I think without a filter which is with strong, bold, confidence and standing by every single thought that comes out of my head live. Maybe some pre-prep once I get back into the swing of things will perfect this newfound blog skill upgrade of mine too, can’t hurt.

8. Make it up as you go. If you overthink it then you will never do it. It’s like cooking, you don’t know how to cook UNTIL YOU COOK. So cook. Fear is what holds us back. Fear of failure. So if we don’t try then we won’t fail. FUCK THAT. Just fail bro. It’s the first step toward success.

9. Have a point, illustrate the point. If you feel like blogging a facebook flamewar that came about from an email you received – keep it at that. I need to take my own advice here because I am queen of being all over the place and super-post mash-ups because I just have too much after days of not blogging, you see. It’s OKAY to hold off on the dedicated (to one theme) posts and keep them waiting on those, while you let the Faceboook flamewar post you posted marinate. Let it simmah babes, trust me you will be glad you simplified it later on down the road. For example, when I have to do a report for a client and mine through a long page of posts on my ello for say, the roof repair job we did, it makes me want to just lay down and die basically because I am disorganized af and so thrilled with my content accruing I sprinkle it everywhere. As long as I remember my sprinkles I am fine. Be on top of shit as much as you can and lastly…drum roll please….

10. GO WHERE THE MONEY IS

It’s 2016. We have been blogging for a long time now by this point if you’re not making any money from it, stop it or change it and if you have a “real job” as well as your blog job, put the blog job on pause to pay your bills a little bit. Your blog will always be there for you. Maintain your audience engagement so that the fires are always a little bit burning while you get tha paper IRL so that when you come back with your posts your fanbase won’t feel like jilted lovers cos they missed you and by God, treat yourself and show them what you bought cos lord knows we love to live vicariously and maybe get off a lil bit on the jealousies.

XOXO YOURS FOREVER RAYMBO

ps. listen to the adorable indie song we made!