Thought may as well have a teenager photoshoot seeing as I live, dress, and act like one.
Waiting for my bro to come over (no not my real bro, just a bro-bro y’know) I slopped on a ton of makeup to see if I could try and swipe some Angeline Jolie contour-action across my cheekbones for my dream of being Angelina Maleficent. Not just Maleficent-Maleficent. Talkin’ pretty here, people. The P-word. I can’t stop thinking about that movie. People who escape into fantasy worlds cannot handle real life and that’s ultimately what Raymi the Minx is anyway, a fantasy world alter-ego I have created to protect myself from reality and after fifteen years I am still here so, safe to say it’s working to a point.
Yesterday was so windy and scary I thought a tree would come through my window. The wind howled all night and rained but then when I went out to eat it was SO WARM but so wet and blustery still. Psycho weather. When the world can’t make up its mind.
Trying hair height to better gauge how close to Maleficent I can achieve the appearance of. Also facial expressions. Angelina does a lot of just standing and staring, posing, kind of an amazing role to play you just have to be adorned and in costume. She screams too, I enjoy screaming as well. How difficult will it be to get facial prosthetics for my cheeks though and how messy when I muck it all up lol.
There we go! I think I can pull it off, now to decide what song to dance to as Maleficent. How weird you love it!
Too slow emo and expected but might be amazing? I’d have to be completely naked for it to be anywhere close to attention-maintaining. Waltz of the majestic horned nude minx.
Cool story especially my bath towel!
This is my awkward showing up to your door look, wanna go longboarding? I am sorry these are not professional modelling shots this is the best we got in Burlingtron. Does it matter really when it comes to me? People just wanna see, and they won’t know if I don’t show so there you go.
I think I look like my niece here I think my mom will agree.
I am wearing my docs cos my foot is injured from running too much and they are the only comfortable thing to walk in I just hope they won’t look too clunky in my job interview later today or I should probably throw heels on just before. The other reason why all these pics exist was because I was resume writing procrastinating because formal docs are the enemy. Well, just that one is lol. It’s all good now though! #relief
I am posting these on my blog because I am too tall for instagram and you can’t see the cape. I was worried I looked too curvy and you wouldn’t get why. I don’t have a full length mirror so I can never do the full outfit shots and doing them in shopper’s drug mart draws too much of a crowd haha. In an awesome way though. This woman just stood and watched I had to tell her to move along because I was taking pictures in the mirror and she was like I know, still standing there. People are so fantastic sometimes especially when they’re on to you. I am SO shy and keep to myself so much that I think I have this invisibility complex yet I dress like a peacock, and then act ridiculous and have the audacity to whine about all the attention I get. I am told (have read) that chicks in their thirties have a mental breakdown except don’t know it at the time so we will just go with that. I don’t have trouble accepting me as myself it’s just everybody else having a problem with it and they ain’t got no chill.
Oh yeah I bought new lipstick the other day and there it is. Wild. Hair looks cray long here.
My room was dark that’s why my eyeballs are a-glow. Hair is growing like a weed. In the back when I look in the mirror at it it’s so long.
You didn’t know I was an extra in Lost Boys? #vampire
Dried roses nice touch yeah.
Lets go crazy and combine all accessories.
Okay go for normalsies now.
Nope not for long.
The wind was sucking my cape out the window it was scary! So goth right meow.
I can’t wait to lift those weights more I want psychotic arm definition like the chick from T2.
it was so windy my huge mural was flapping and bapping against the wall and it rained sideways into my room.
Posted this already but with a tint but it’s ok as is.
Then I went for a steak salad the end stop. Shower time! Wish me luck!
Sorry for the overlap don’t have time/care to fix it looks neat enjoy!
And now the instagram blast.
White shorts after labour day. They’re bulky on me now.
I guess this post features some from somewhere else as well.
At least I dress like a survivalist. My foot is fucked from this day, a lot of running/walking. My body is paying off for it however but not my right foot. Will be picking up a new pair of kicks soon.
Loving life in the sun on this patio. People watching, being watched. Lots of oddballs.
And souvenir shopping.
Has a Wizard of Oz feel.
The bear is smiling. I have that effect.
Sometimes you just gotta girl it up.
This woman said let me take your beaver thinking she was funny and I ruined everything by saying it’s a hedgehog. I am fun like that.
Love it. Also I should dig up my Katy Perry pics (on the right) from last summer. Keep it fresh Wax Museum just saying!
Watching three hot chicks get plastered on the patio then degenerate into drama and doing shots with strangers at Ruby Tuesdays I’d say was a summer highlight for sure. This is how I order drinks, “How disgusting is your margarita and am I going to have acid reflux?”
When I hopped a hedgerow of flowers to pose by all those other flowers and shit I saw this bird’s nest, the filters do not do it justice I blew it there so stay tuned for a better look soon. Anyway, how can birds not be intelligent or is it random? Some birds beautify their nests to impress female mates. Love it. Players only love you when they’re playing.
Wonder when and what circus I’ll run away to.
I found my new favourite angle and as soon as I put my princess bed together again you will see more of it. Writers need to sit up and lament a lot in bed I need my backboard plus my room will be decked out so sweet for pics with my huge rainforest mural. Game changing. You’re welcome I love you too.
Too bad I had to crop this. The winner’s circle all got a pre-copy don’t worry. I loved this little toilet closet and wallpaper so stately and perfect for secret busines calls.
I tracked this car slowly as it went the stretch of the falls and had Gatsby fantasies.
Blown wide open.
Jay Brown saw my photo of this on facebook and said he was headlinging Yuk Yuk’s and I said already got tickets bro! He called me out during his set and I felt special until the heat of a thousand stares burned a hole into me ahaha.
No shortage of rainbows.
Look how teeny everyone looks bottom left. This is from the 18th floor.
Hey hey. Decided on a little adventure this weekend for a change. This post is going to be ridonkulously out of order isn’t that great! Like it matters anyway, throw a bunch of crap into a weekend in the Canadian version of Atlantic City with outfit changes and just make it out alive by Sunday sunset for the epic drive home with the sun in your face.
I enjoyed these very much and have several more pics of them all in various poses but you get the point and I got tired of looking at them on my phone after going through a billion selfies (which you will see here!) but trust me at the time it was a mindblowing experience.
I am making this face because I am still bummed about his death IRL. This is the last look Heath Ledger is known for and I guess ultimately killed him (as an obsessive method actor he went mad, turned to drugs, could not sleep, etc.) The creepy is inescapable. I wrote a blog eulogy about his celebrity death about it at the time from the couch in my old condo I remember exactly where I was sitting I was so enraged by snarky internet peeps/media offering the same crap said today when a celeb dies, “so what.” SO WHAT? I’LL &^$^%#*^% SHOW YOU SO WHAT! I just get so passionate sometimes guys I’m sorry!
This picture I will look at in January, maybe February, and about die. I am a sun baby. Emphasis on baby. There’s more to it but you will all make fun of me so nevermind. I have a serious sports bra tan. Likewise an ankle one and stomache shorts line tan. I’ll hit up my tanning salon soon to even it all out and I can go as a leather bag for Halloweenis.
Have you ever cheersed Niagara Falls with Evian and Grey Goose before? Remember I said those old bag collectibles from above were mindblowing? Excraptly.
And no I’m not going to tell you anything you actually want to know about any of this. I’ve been troll-abused recently by some long time blog obsessed psycho who even stalks my (other famous internet) friends and screamy insultingly bash demanded information about what’s up currently in my life, essentially, you know what? My friends know what’s up and you’re not my friend so FUCK OFF. I have a lot of relationships, maintained and friends, I am Raymi the fucking Minx hello – shit just happens for me and then I do it, how do you live your life? I do not have children and I have always and will always lead a “different” lifestyle so kindly leave me alone and/or accept it. I am one of those rogue types and there’s lots out there. Oh plus it was a suite if you must know.
Lol. “RTM: Enjoy it for what it is and fuck off!”
Hanging in the room as long as possible. They give a later check-out in Niagara Falls, 2:30! People must get insanely shmammered is why, or they’re just a proper hotel allowing you to soak up the luxury. Except those two bonus hours were spent being walked in on THREE different occasions like no one in housekeeping gets the memo? The Embassy Suites have seen enough of my ass. My teeth don’t look bad for someone who forgot their toothbrush right. I was gonna buy one.
Like staring at a moving painting all weekend. You get to saying dumb things about it too like, where does all that water go? Where does it keep coming from omg!? Making arty videos of the falls falling to your stupid ipod ahaha best. In between trying on all the clothes you packed and posing in front of them.
Had the whole view too. Saw a million rainbows.
This was funny to me. Mostly it was lovely, the light, the clear water on water.
Retro falls art.
Jacuzzi pizza why not. I mean I am dying, I need this.
Went to Yuk Yuk’s. Sat in the front row. Turns out I know the headliner. I can go to any teeny weeny little place in the world and someone there knows Raymi it is the greatest.
Finally sewed my jumpsuit. Because it’s black why not, no one will notice the awful job I did.
Turns out my heels were in a bag within a bag in my bag so I could’ve worn them out and around the casino. Oh well probably safer to be in flats haha.
Back definition from running. Run dancing. I’m telling ya! I’m gonna rip some free weights after I post this. I ran tan walked a lot yesterday and lost 4lbs. My right foot is killing for it though, cannot wait to get new shoes.
I have no idea how to pose and I super don’t care. I think I was dancing or just trying to keep my shit together. Waterfall discoball much though right?
This is just the appetizer for the yellow Corvette I posed all over downstairs. They valet park the nicest cars outside to make the hotel look more hype. I’d be like cool so those are all the people to rob at The Embassy Suites nice thanks!
Thanks for paying attention this far! Do you need a break, some water?
Took a cab to the other side of town where Yuk Yuk’s is and cab driver was complete wastecase hot mess. Incredible. Like, couldn’t even make words happen or name local landmarks and is an alleged townie…. yeah blotto. He knew we knew he was mangled, was just hoping the ride would be over asap. Go Niagara!
Free drinks down in the lobby come with the room package.
Bumped into my friend Jerry!
So many outfits in so little time. This shirt is so fun especially when stupid people try and read it. You’d be amazed at how many people get tripped up on the word literally. Wow sad.
It also makes me cringe for me because it’s a bold statement and I hate lying but I love typewriter font especially on white, it achieves the overall understated cool aesthetic that I usually go for and now I know why bros wear shirts with stupid sayings on them.
Seeing the falls by night, day, sun, overcast, rainbow. Very nice, well done.
That made me think of Futurama. If you’re a fan you’ll get it hopefully. Can’t be bothered to google what I am loosely trying to connect.
Pretty emo upon arrival.
Gonna have to make this diatribe a two-parter, feels long enough.
Hi Sloppy McNasties. No wait, that’s me. Well hi anyway how about that. That’s me from this morning with the help of some instagram filtration to bump up the red. My hair is pretty red though. It has its moments.
I took this last night as I was passing out like a champ. Waking up to all my internet garbage daily I must say truly is icing on the cake of my fantastic voyage of a life. My head is so far up my own ass right now I am this close to justifying posting nudes again, I mean, I have the body for it after working so long for it. I don’t find my nudes sexual I’m just lacking all sense of boundaries is all no big deal!
I am sore from running hard yesterday. That heat, that sun. I had sand stuck to my legs from running by the beach and on the beach. Wearing hawaiian tropic oil will do that to you. Sometimes I am such a sweaty greasy beast Ill catch a glimpse in a reflection of something and feel sheepish. Like, wrestler-level sweaty. A redneck at ribfest said YEAH I LOVE SWEATY GIRLS to me when I went for a run through it and I started squeegeeing off my sweaty body immediately. Like come on people I am running here in the sun what do you expect? You’re invading my space with your fair just deal.
Here i am as a hot mess from earlier in the week. Found my coonskin hat.
Enjoying summer patio.
Me at 26.
Me being emo eating sushi.
My safari wife look.
In honour of JLaw I posted my butt crack.
Holding in my gut from all the food I just ate I am never doing that again.
Maleficent nails. My hands are more tanned than this in actuality just saying.
Halloween wish list. All I have to do basically is buy the headpiece.
Oh townie life.
Basically a big bowl of hot sauce. Had a dip too. Don’t ask! Please remind me I’m on a salad diet.
Someone called me fat the other day. They hadn’t seen my blog or me since I was a bonerack blonde so I wasn’t too pissed but still I was pretty pissed. He said something had changed but liked my body now that I had gained weight. Meanwhile I have been obsessively chiseling my body and running 6km daily sometimes more. If Pushed to comment on the shape or proportions of my bod I’d say I’m pin-up curvy fit. Somebody else called me a hard body. Someone else called me fat. You cannot please everyone.
Wes Anderson moments in time now. I gotta wrap this up super soon though.
School vs cool. I loved this juxtaposition plus school wasn’t in session just yet but soooo close. Makes me sad. Everything makes me sad lol.
My mother’s legendary quote about corn growing and summer ending makes me sad.
Driving in cars makes me sad. Sad for moments before they’re over and as they’re happening. Being in a constant state of mourning. I need to write teenage emo lit fur sure.
It’s because I feel like I didn’t do anything this summer. And the things that I do I cannot begin to tell you. trust me I’d love to. I feel like I have two lives, both hiding from the other.
I wore as much white as I could prior to labour day ending. This guy the other night said he almost wore white pants and in my head I was like thank god he didn’t ugh but meanwhile I am allowed to dress like the ice cream man.
I love this shop.
As misanthropic as I am it has been a grand summer.
I was going to call this blog post LEGS ASS AND RIBS but I didn’t want to pigeonhole myself, I mean. I like this title better.
Plus, despite the onslaught of raymi selfies you’re gonna see here, there’s more to life than that. I think but I’m not sure. One thing I wanted to discuss in particular was the topic of nudes and what I think about the current affairs of today and how they pertain to me of course.
Actually, just thinking about this topic has exhausted me. Who doesn’t have nudes out there? Who doesn’t put clothes on everyday and put their shit together and not take ONE teeny picture? To send to a friend? Hello snapchatters. Anyway, it’s a giant wake up call is all and made me cringe a wee bit cos I sure as pie have been generous in the nudie-takey dept over the years, so… AND of course there’s the unmentionables a la #jlawleak we may or may not send to friends for a laugh because why not. All it takes is one of those “friends” to get a little sharesy though. I am just imagining the shit show that could be undone of all the nudes we have on each other and who will (if ever) press the button. Some people might be of the if I’m going down, you’re coming with me mindset.
Do I feel bad for Jennifer Lawrence? Yes. Is a piece of my heart blackened thus rendering me indifferent to all other bullshit and things that happen in the universe? Totally. Is this going to hurt her in any actual way? Negatory. And thus, the circle of oh big deal whatever is complete. She looks amazing in those photos. My mom said she looked like me in one and I was kinda like yeah I know but also kinda like where did my mom see nudes of me like that before? Haha.
Anyway, the internet is divided into victim shaming, blaming and discussion in general as it does when any celeb so much as farts the wrong way and I am already over it. Except I hear there’s a bj video that might drop which will suck for her lol nice pun.
It’s sad that women still have to fight to take control of our bodies and we always get razzed for it, most disgusting of all, by other women. The way I see it, if you’re at a place where you can enjoy and be comfortable in your own body then you should celebrate and show it off as much as you can because that confidence goes away at some point and you’ll pine for the days when you didn’t care.
Why would I go to the trouble to colour co-ordinate, dye my hair, fix my nails – to please just one person I see that day? No. I want to capture it for posterity and use it as content for my people. Try to be original about it, varietal.
Why am I even defending it? I’m not although it sounds like it. I am simply just saying. I feel like there are certain people in my feed who only added me out of a sick fascination obsession that relies on making fun of everything I post. Every selfie I put up and then sniggering about it to themselves. Who is the loser then here? Me or them? If I am such a tool then why look at me everyday. To make yourself feel better about yourself? Anyway, the fascination/obsession with celebrity and spying on our friend’s lives on bragbook isn’t a healthy one. To think there are actually people out there who do not participate in facebook, I mean I get it we all go on vacation and turn off our phones at some point but the thought still blows my mind as someone who is so deeply connected to social media and all the lovely garbage of the internet. I really need to kick this habit though or at east augment it so I am just a millionaire comedian who tweets witty one-liners that everybody loves.
Photographing our lives nowadays is simply part of the human experience. For some people, more than others and some more than that even.
Soul food in hell.
Okay. Let me tell you about Uncle Sam’s now. First, they won FIRST PLACE BST SAUCE! Second, they took care of me all weekend long and I capital love them and so do all my friends go life! I will never forget the day I first sauntered up to them 4 ribfests back and it wasn’t even about scoring ribs it was about not waiting in a huge line (good ribs equal long line) it was their energy and I love their hustle game plus they seem to like me and admire my own brand of insanity. I wish I could tell you more. One day in the autobio behind the raymi scenes like VH1.
In total: 3 whole racks of ribs
2 bottles of Uncle Sam’s Rib Sauce
I have an idea for a book again.
Like me! The future is yours!
I am retirig these shoes for a bit or wearing socks with them if possible. Went for a night walk in these and my feet are not happy with me for it.
We were in heaven. Thanks Uncle Sam’s!!!! I miss you already. Congrats on the win, have fun in Aurora and see you next year!
The people have spoken. Immortalized forevs ILU guys.
Stuff like this is what makes blogging worthwhile more so absolutely. If you want some raymi social medai gravy magic hit me up .
Me and some chill po po. You know, all weekend long if I wasn’t imbibing at ribfest in one way or another then I was running through it and checking out all the cops and don’t you know they be checkig me out too. You know I have a cop fetish right? They terrify and excite me. I feel drawn to them and then I run away without making eye contact as a pack stare me down. I guess it is weird to be a runner in a crowd you kinda stand out dressed in terminator gear.
You have a lot of self reflection time when you run and if you write it comes back in fragments to you, a thought, a moment. But all of it alone, spent alone. Watching. being watched. I live a lonely sailor’s life it seems. Summer is important to me because of this isolation. I mean. I have a lot of friends and suitors but if the soul is always seeking and searching it will neve stop and it always needs down time, thus be the timeline of my life.
This east coast celtic band were such a good time. One of those moments you’re glad you stopped. I stopped the next day on my run and stood in the sun to tan my face while a band played zeppelin and a girl got up to sing Journey with them, then they did my G’N'R fav, I boogied a little. Running without listening to music is an entirely different experience. I could hear the things I normally do not. When I start gunning for it at one point a dude in said Yeah work it! at me. It’s empowering and encouraging. I try to do run squat lunges. In my mind I look like a gazelle and not goig to lie or deny that I do have grace in my movements when I lap and run. I don’t care. It makes people smile. I have a routine. One day I will stop telling and start showing.
Always an impressive spread.
Back to reality now though and boot straps done pulled up. Yeah right haha.
If you accidentally swim with Canadian money you will be okay btw now you know.
Hope you had a great weekend and enjoy the shorter week. xo rlw.
Hello people that I know and some that I do not, how was your summer? When is it officially “over” anyway? That’s okay, I don’t even want to talk about it. I am being a total whiner. Some friends of mine lament that they haven’t taken advantage of summer anyway, and I thoroughly have – there isn’t one rock in this whole durn town that I haven’t looked under, you know? I think the vanity side of me is uber terrified I’m gonna get fall plump and winter fat. Actually no. My stay slick contingency plan is to booze less when it’s cold and do more indoor cardio, join a gym and cry on a treadmill instead. Then in ten months it will be warm again. Fucking Canada, right?
I’ll be able to get my book done and work in general instead of running out the door all the bloody time like the bouncy squat dance running asshole I am. Getting a wicked tan though. My forehead is so brown. My face just looks better tanned. When it’s white you can actually see how haggard and french I am. I want to have a perma-tanned glow like wrinkled bags who make beach the epitome of their entire lives, who when you talk to them all you’re thinking is I bet there isn’t one inch on that entire body that has a white patch on it. Then you inspect beneath their eyes and marvel at how they don’t even look aged somehow from all that tanning, yeah sure there’s a tidal wave of folds and crow’s feet maybe but it’s all delicately bundled up in TAN. Sign me up.
Go Karting was amazing this week. This week was spent cramming as much summer insanity into it as possible. We went back again and your hero crashed into a bunch of tires and didn’t even fucking care. Good thing I had a shirt on that said I literally do not care. I choked. Couldn’t even think to hit the brakes and I was going so fast I crashed through two layers of tires and they weren’t even mad at me. I had the faster car and we were fucking with each other on our last lap, ran out of straight road I was so immersed that I didn’t see the curve and I went straight through it. Exhilarating. Maybe watching two Formula One movies in a row influenced me. It happens. Like how my brother and I used to drown each other as different characters from X-Men in the pool at a resort one Thanksgiving weekend, good times.
The first 7 laps of the day (pre-pool) I drove like a lady however, though.
Anyway, if you go to Go-Karts make sure you get car 15. The second time I drove it I could tell it had a long day of being rode dirty it wasn’t as tight and I sure as hell wasn’t any easier on ‘er.
Requisite pantsless selfie. Yawn.
My Peg Bundy look. My buddy says he actually knows her IRL (she’s also a singer) and he said I was prettier. Uh mean! She is a goddess. I checked the hashtag on instagram of peg bundy and all her outfits from Married with Children are completely amazing. Lots of 80′s spandex leotards over tights, belted, and a cigarette always dangling from her face. QUEEN.
Rocked Kelso beach too.
Have sudden desire to watch Top Gun. Tom Cruise is so short they had a body double tall guy take that epicinematic spike, eh? This blog is educational!
When the sun went down all the people cleared out and it was pretty nice.
See how sweaty my forehead is? That’s my forehead working on a tan. I have a slight brown moustache tan too I think I must have swiped a line of hawaiian tropic oil across my upper lip because WTF!!!??? hahaha
Do I look worried though?
Miley Cyrus update: doesn’t care.
Never stop being adorable or spotting and delighting, highlighting, the whimsical. Never change. No matter how much I tell you to. Best piece of never I’ve received lately. The only thing I change is my look. A leopard can’t change their spots… I have a vision of myself in the future for what my “look” goal is and I hope I attain it. People are obsessed right?? Whatever, it gets me through my life. It is armour. I never want to be rejected ever again. That’s when I started running absolutely everyday like a gladiator. Rejection is a thing we cannot control but we can try and along the way other opportunities arrive because when you work on yourself you are a magnet. Your lit fire gives off energies to those like-minded, who know what’s up and as far as I am concerned it is all good.
Dressing like wait staff at the “fancy” restaurant. I mean I have all these corporate shirts they’re not gonna just wear themselves plus I always kind of dress like a lesbot anyway.
If you can’t read my writing it says, “with their fucking lives” and guess what I am talking about?
Hi Oakville, I look like a meatball! Don’t care/explaining anyway (PMS), it’s just the pose.
Good morning Vietnam
I like that I have rib friends I see each year, they practically come to my doorstep. I did the whole campy raymi the Minx thing while the entire line watched as I held an Uncle Sam’s trophy above my head. I didn’t pay attention but my camera guy did and was blown away all night long by the reaction I garnered at rib fest. Definitely a walking scene, I is.
Visited Amy yesterday and she’s doing well, so good to see her. We worked the Canadian Open together last year on the 18th hole VIP tent for 4 days. SHIT SHOW! Lolollllll. I think we hated each other for awhile afterward ahahha. Amy and I have been friends since I moved to Oakville at 21. That chick is a vault so don’t even try it!
I just ran out of steam.
I was gonna just wear a plaid shirt with sleeves for some boring fucking reason but then I said wait a minute I have this with me too maybe it can work. I instantly became 100% more conceited and it was off to the races.
One whole rack of ribs plus 2 bottles of sauce to go. I doubt my plaid shirt would have been so successful. Thanks Uncle Sam’s BBQ see you today/tomorrow for judging. All of my friends who have gone have been floored by your ribs.
Caught a celtic east coast band too that was awesome. Under my favourite weeping willow tree. People danced. Lots of drinking. The best thing about ribfest compared to sound of music festival is you can walk around with your drinks you don’t have to be jammed in a gated off area like dogs. Give’r!
Love the pool at the lakeview. It was practically empty so felt pretty resort-like.
ILUGuys. Enjoy the Labour daze w/e now ya hear? xo raymbo