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September 28, 2014

Hey diligent and loyal followers. So, this weekend I was busier than a one-legged man at an ass kicking competition and cos I like, be old now and stuff, guy I’s tired. If you know me I’m a semi-balanced type striking a fine line between laziness and doing lots. Living out here and all the shit that I need to do being in the city can get a bit exhausting, even just thinking about it but like, it’s all fun stuff so why the stress. It’s hard for some people to simply just enjoy their life and appreciate the fun moments and it’s so stupid because years from now I’ll think back to this weekend if I can remember it and be like THAT WAS SICK! And I’ll forget all about this needless useless nagging stress.

I learned that despite how urbane, interesting, funny, intellectual, obnoxious and relentlessly entertaining I can be, that I am nowhere near as interesting as my ass because my hits increased 400% thanks to my little stunt. Should I be the one to tsk tsk at though? No. It’s you perverts, not me.

Enjoy these now because once it’s cold I’ll be in fugly layers, in fact, I won’t even take selfies cos no one cares about snowpants. I bet I will be less active in the running dept all around, get fat and then become a massive bitch. Looking forward to it!

What the hell was I talking about? I just got busy doing a billion other distracting things on the internet and then my bud sent me this drawing and someone reported it on facebook like that. Omg so edgy right meow!

Anyway. The Urban Rodeo BBQ was uh-maaaaaaazing. Lots of wealthy hot people and somebodies walking around drankin’ and yee-hawing it up. Super super fun. I love The Brickworks.

Had a great stay at The Drake. I can’t believe how long wastoids stay out on the streets after last call, so loud right below my window but turned into white noise inevitably. Awesome room and service.

In case you were wondering which you always are about me, I brought two pairs of the exact same pants with me and wore one on each night despite looking like I wore the same pants for 48 hours which isn’t a bad thing people re-wear jeans all the time. I wore my runners cos my right foot “injury” “whatever it is” was acting up again and none of my cool footwear can deal with that and trekking through the city for multiple activities which didn’t end up being a problem anyway this time cos I was a total princess and had cabs and drives I was basically carried around in a papoose all weekend long.

Hi.

There are so many awesome goodies in your Drake room it’s very tempting.

I wrote a whimsical post once about how much I dug on fall but now I change my mind and I’m bitter on fall. Only because I know what’s coming after. Cannot deal. Hate cold. Despise snow. You have to bring more shit around with you in general like layers and hats and mitts and everything takes longer. I can’t run in snow. Balls. So take your gleeful autumn is for lovers thing and put it on mute. It’s just a personal thing with me and fall so don’t you take my feelings personally against your pumpkin spiced latte farts okay? ok.

Don’t worry I rolled my eyes at myself when I took this. Oh shut up Toronto it’s only the most obvious known graffiti wall on Queen West. Well people in Edmonton don’t know that! See how I have fights with myself insecurely about things I worry a ghost snob might deign to think about the crap I blog?

There we go. I ate a lot of bacon today. In fact, bacon and chicken wings seem to be things I feast on often. Can’t be good. Sometimes I look like a curvy little meatball just saying this is one of those times.

Woke up early today to check out and leave city and then the hunger hit. This bacon was so good. I bet I have the arteries of John Candy.

This is why I love Brickworks. I said to my date, “DAVID SUZUKI” and he either pretended to know what I meant or knew what I meant by that. Fuck I don’t even know. Okay yes I do and it has to do with evergreen trees and something Canadian, long story short.

Not to be a stalker or anything but hi.

Do you guys remember that time I had my own public access program in the 90′s?

Wine and beer are great but cocktails at a thing like this are far greater. These were SO GOOD!

Of course.

Shockingly I made a ring toss. Carnie games are impossible everyone knows that.

The more you change, the more the Drake stays the same and I dig that consistency. I’m a Toronto pariah now so I like things again.

I shall continue my tales another time though. Have a good night.



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September 26, 2014

So, hi. I’ve toyed with posting this butt pic for a little while and been too scared to. My homies are like why, just do it and don’t even explain it but you know me, I come with sexplanations. A ton. Meanwhile, instagram sent me one of those stern warnings about the below photo I posted yesterday for #TBT and they deleted my sad little nineteen year old neeple which I had expected them to do anyway, I even blurred it out a bit but obviously it did not suffice. Too much scandal.

What with all these celeb nudes going around, Emma Watson being bullied for standing up for lady rights to be met with nude leak threats what a goddamn great time to be alive no. I’ve already got a lot of image damning (artistic in my opinion) photos out there that ruin all future employment prospects so I may as well just keep on keeping on with it like that Emma Stone movie when she perpetuates the slut myth about herself for some stupid fucking reason. So, that’s my arse and now I have posted it I can move on. It was taken sometime this summer during my whirlwind of yolo. Have a nice day!



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40 top chefs under one roof, for one night only—The Evergreen Urban Rodeo and BBQ on September 27 — a fundraiser in support of healthy, green cities and a harvest celebration like no other!

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Running the live auction is Bob Blumer, gastronaut, artist and seven time Guinness World Record holder.

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Take a ride on the mechanical bull, try your luck at some classic carnival games, dance the night away to live music and place your bets at the silent and live auctions!

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Tickets will be for sale online until September 27 at 12pm. Limited tickets will be available for purchase at the door.



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September 22, 2014

Here is what I did this weekend in no particular boring order!

I went running. Shocking. This is from mid-week though. Note how androgynous I can look. There’s some hot male-looking lithe chicks out there, always good to keep that in my back pocket.

Just showing off my abs before eating poutine and short ribs no big d!!! Gosh yesterday was lovely as was Saturday. Very blustery though, which would be the cold being on its way and some storm apparently nearby. Wow so cool we talk about weather here.

Sky pron. You just can’t take your eyes off it and the more you look the more you need to keep looking at it.

Super messy, hadn’t washed hair for days but whatevs. Today it’s crystal clean I am certain to take a selfie as evidence bler blah.

Click to enlarge.

So stacked right meow muahaha.

Smurf outfit. Ended up running in just sports bra. Sometimes punish myself by showing off my jiggle wiggle for drinking/eating too much. There is nothing more real than feeling self conscious while running through town but also triumphant because that was probably the last time so unclothed for the season. Oh, a DILF hit on me yesterday during my run along the water but both of us had no idea how to take it any further so I just ran away shrugging hahahha life.

I had dinner plans anyway.

Caught up with an old gf and we got silly on red wine, was fun. Hope I nip this red wine phase in the bud asap before it takes shape cos I do not deal with tannins well. I have no idea what that means either I was just pretending to sound wine smart.

Dbag safari look. Well I did take off my shorts eventually. Life is all about balance my friends!

Shoe shopping experience was priceless although I wanted to shoot my brains out at the time. Fighting with my non-bf/whatever plus the clerk was non-stop chatting to me and trying to upsell me all this running shit. And I wanted to covertly take a bloody picture but couldn’t get my face angle right for forever because I had to do all this fake talking/laughing/listening to her bullshit and on top of it she was watching me take all these pictures of myself. You don’t always have to be closing when you’ve already closed holy christ so pushy. Anyway, size 8 is kid-sized so I got kid pricing. Fantastic. She sold me a pair of inserts too because I run so hard my feet need the extra support. She was so friendly I thought at one point she was coming on to me and almost said something. God I am so glad I didn’t.

When someone else orders poutine you cannot say no. It’s like witch craft.

Don’t blow a gasket.

Late night eating has got to stop. But how and when who knows! Going to Rodeo BBQ
this weekend, lots of eat and dranking. I’ll have to starve all week now. Also going to comedy double header Friday night. Guess who?? I’m doing a triple threat for my 15 year blogiversary. Comedy. Burlesque. Song recording. Freaked.

Gratuitous.

I feel like I could eat ten scallops right now omg.

Alright, you get me. Back to the grind. Monday again?? Kay bye bye.



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September 20, 2014

Yo amigos how you been? Oh me? Bored as shit whatevs heheh. This weather, something I incessantly complain about is legit killing my buzz. I’ve been working on my book. Going in a slightly different direction with it too que sera sera. I kinda wish I could tell you guys about it, but I will in time. You know when you do the things you love to do you just get all jazzed and wanna scream it from a megaphone and by megaphone I mean twitter. Pah. I’ll just chill then. I’m just going for it though I wanted you to know. The funnier things that I say and write tend to be more explicit in nature and people just can’t take it so I may as well stack ‘em all into one huge anthology telephone sized phonebook atrocity…

And like, the reason for writing this right now even and why I am gonna cut it short then hit pause and regroup later on with it. Why can’t I just Sarah Jessica Parker it what is wrong with my daily headfuck regarding my own constitution?

It’s two days later now. Your hero lost a day there to red wine and many expressive heartfelt apologies regarding that.

My foot is feeling better. Also the last couple days I’ve been in pain and haven’t really spoken about it, seems to be lifting now. If you don’t have your health you do not have anything. I felt like I was dying and my shitty horrible life flashed before my eyes. I’m gonna go see my family doc it’s due time.

Legs.

Ass. See how I ran out of nail polish remover yesterday halfway through. Ratchet. A bro is dropping me off a bottle right now haha I win that victory at least.

My hair is kinda getting bananas in a good way. Like a lion. I might add blond streaks to it like a major lionness. No? Speak now.

I love red wine. I do not love red wine hangovers. Hmm. Pickle, that.

Wasted yesterday but today I did not and tomorrow just might be hot too. Here is hoping.

Give’r.

Spicy lobster mac.

Spicy Canadian Geese.

OMG am I cross eyed? Omg do not care.

Ribfest weekend sure was a bender if there ever was one. Being captain of a small town makes every little fair a gong show I guess huh.

Lifeblood.

Carpaccio. I am predictible.

On my run it occurred to me that I probably eat chicken wings at least 4 times a week.

The Minx assumes many forms.

And see.

I’m lollygagging I should be showering.

Sorry I’m boring have a great night yo!



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September 15, 2014

Hi guys! Nothing like a hard day’s twerk amiright!? What?

There is no way I can dance in Shannon’s crazy heels. She had to walk me over to the pole haha. #amateur

Popped into Salvador Darling for oysters and gossip with Tanyamazing.

There’s no place like home.

Well hi!

Yeah, Toronto’s not a bad time lol.

Haven’t settled on a song for poletergeist yet and no I’m not stripping. I will be twirling but not as much as I will be prancing and dancing like I don’t know what yet.

Thx for the booty shorts Shannon. #yearoftheass.

Before chinese food.

As chinese food arrives. And before we realise they sent the wrong thing and were also attacked by bees when the lady came back the second time with the wrong thing again. Oh man ahhaha.

With all the time the landlord spends hanging around lately you’d tink he’d clean our windows.

Okay that’s enough for today. Have a chill Monday.



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September 11, 2014

Thought may as well have a teenager photoshoot seeing as I live, dress, and act like one.

Waiting for my bro to come over (no not my real bro, just a bro-bro y’know) I slopped on a ton of makeup to see if I could try and swipe some Angeline Jolie contour-action across my cheekbones for my dream of being Angelina Maleficent. Not just Maleficent-Maleficent. Talkin’ pretty here, people. The P-word. I can’t stop thinking about that movie. People who escape into fantasy worlds cannot handle real life and that’s ultimately what Raymi the Minx is anyway, a fantasy world alter-ego I have created to protect myself from reality and after fifteen years I am still here so, safe to say it’s working to a point.

Yesterday was so windy and scary I thought a tree would come through my window. The wind howled all night and rained but then when I went out to eat it was SO WARM but so wet and blustery still. Psycho weather. When the world can’t make up its mind.

Trying hair height to better gauge how close to Maleficent I can achieve the appearance of. Also facial expressions. Angelina does a lot of just standing and staring, posing, kind of an amazing role to play you just have to be adorned and in costume. She screams too, I enjoy screaming as well. How difficult will it be to get facial prosthetics for my cheeks though and how messy when I muck it all up lol.

There we go! I think I can pull it off, now to decide what song to dance to as Maleficent. How weird you love it!

Too slow emo and expected but might be amazing? I’d have to be completely naked for it to be anywhere close to attention-maintaining. Waltz of the majestic horned nude minx.

Cool story especially my bath towel!

This is my awkward showing up to your door look, wanna go longboarding? I am sorry these are not professional modelling shots this is the best we got in Burlingtron. Does it matter really when it comes to me? People just wanna see, and they won’t know if I don’t show so there you go.

I think I look like my niece here I think my mom will agree.

I am wearing my docs cos my foot is injured from running too much and they are the only comfortable thing to walk in I just hope they won’t look too clunky in my job interview later today or I should probably throw heels on just before. The other reason why all these pics exist was because I was resume writing procrastinating because formal docs are the enemy. Well, just that one is lol. It’s all good now though! #relief :)

I am posting these on my blog because I am too tall for instagram and you can’t see the cape. I was worried I looked too curvy and you wouldn’t get why. I don’t have a full length mirror so I can never do the full outfit shots and doing them in shopper’s drug mart draws too much of a crowd haha. In an awesome way though. This woman just stood and watched I had to tell her to move along because I was taking pictures in the mirror and she was like I know, still standing there. People are so fantastic sometimes especially when they’re on to you. I am SO shy and keep to myself so much that I think I have this invisibility complex yet I dress like a peacock, and then act ridiculous and have the audacity to whine about all the attention I get. I am told (have read) that chicks in their thirties have a mental breakdown except don’t know it at the time so we will just go with that. I don’t have trouble accepting me as myself it’s just everybody else having a problem with it and they ain’t got no chill.

Oh yeah I bought new lipstick the other day and there it is. Wild. Hair looks cray long here.

My room was dark that’s why my eyeballs are a-glow. Hair is growing like a weed. In the back when I look in the mirror at it it’s so long.

You didn’t know I was an extra in Lost Boys? #vampire

Dried roses nice touch yeah.

Lets go crazy and combine all accessories.

Okay go for normalsies now.

Nope not for long.

The wind was sucking my cape out the window it was scary! So goth right meow.

I can’t wait to lift those weights more I want psychotic arm definition like the chick from T2.

it was so windy my huge mural was flapping and bapping against the wall and it rained sideways into my room.

Posted this already but with a tint but it’s ok as is.

Then I went for a steak salad the end stop. Shower time! Wish me luck!



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September 10, 2014

Greetings Wednesday whiners.

And hi again!

Off to the races… okay enough lead-ins.

Here’s the rest of the best of the worst from Niagara Falls.

Pretty decent accomodations. Holla Embassy Suites.

How I arrived.

It was a long drive. jk my new passport photo.

Falls what Falls? Oh those Falls!

Sorry for the overlap don’t have time/care to fix it looks neat enjoy!

And now the instagram blast.

White shorts after labour day. They’re bulky on me now.

I guess this post features some from somewhere else as well.

At least I dress like a survivalist. My foot is fucked from this day, a lot of running/walking. My body is paying off for it however but not my right foot. Will be picking up a new pair of kicks soon.

Loving life in the sun on this patio. People watching, being watched. Lots of oddballs.

And souvenir shopping.

Has a Wizard of Oz feel.

The bear is smiling. I have that effect.

Sigh.

Sometimes you just gotta girl it up.

This woman said let me take your beaver thinking she was funny and I ruined everything by saying it’s a hedgehog. I am fun like that.

Love it. Also I should dig up my Katy Perry pics (on the right) from last summer. Keep it fresh Wax Museum just saying!

Watching three hot chicks get plastered on the patio then degenerate into drama and doing shots with strangers at Ruby Tuesdays I’d say was a summer highlight for sure. This is how I order drinks, “How disgusting is your margarita and am I going to have acid reflux?”

When I hopped a hedgerow of flowers to pose by all those other flowers and shit I saw this bird’s nest, the filters do not do it justice I blew it there so stay tuned for a better look soon. Anyway, how can birds not be intelligent or is it random? Some birds beautify their nests to impress female mates. Love it. Players only love you when they’re playing.

Wonder when and what circus I’ll run away to.

Ha.

I found my new favourite angle and as soon as I put my princess bed together again you will see more of it. Writers need to sit up and lament a lot in bed I need my backboard plus my room will be decked out so sweet for pics with my huge rainforest mural. Game changing. You’re welcome I love you too.

Too bad I had to crop this. The winner’s circle all got a pre-copy don’t worry. I loved this little toilet closet and wallpaper so stately and perfect for secret busines calls.

I tracked this car slowly as it went the stretch of the falls and had Gatsby fantasies.

Blown wide open.

Jay Brown saw my photo of this on facebook and said he was headlinging Yuk Yuk’s and I said already got tickets bro! He called me out during his set and I felt special until the heat of a thousand stares burned a hole into me ahaha.

No shortage of rainbows.

Spinderella.

Look how teeny everyone looks bottom left. This is from the 18th floor.

Red hair is red and that is that, til next time.



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