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November 21, 2014

Alrighty then pt. II of my almighty life on planet Earth begins meow.

This post will not actually feature shade though, it’s just some catchy copy thing I thought up yesterday but now that you’re here you may as well continue reading along. I always end up talking crap about something at some point eventually.

This was the last warm day and I’m glad we spent it at Niagara and it didn’t piss it away being normal. It was Remembrance Day.

This freak band was playing a Lady Gaga song. Mean.

Sky porn the whole way there.

Started out my day looking like this. I am too shy to wear this hat in public. Can I talk about myself for two seconds longer before moving on? Girls who are pretty or make effort to look pretty, get attention when out and about. Now I am not saying I am one of those girls, but I do get a lot of attention and I never seem able to deal with this attention in the right way. There must be a name for the weirdo syndrome I suffer from. Anyway, I have this tickle trunk of awesome things I grapple with wearing IRL but for why? Writers are devout over-analyzers. The only reason I over-adorn myself and “try” “hard” or “make effort” in my appearance is because I wanted to be as pretty as I was smart. I don’t think I am pretty but I knew how to make people think I was pretty, back in the year 2000 when I started photographing myself and blogging. Trying to impress the douchebags in VICE.

And do you know how many times I have been told that this will be sad when I am older. If I am still doing this. Well I am older now and still doing it. It should be rad, no? I am a relic. Of note. I’m not done yet. My blog turns 15 YEARS OLD in 7 days. I imagined myself being ten million different things by this point but I am also okay in being exactly who I am. Terrified of the future I cannot foresee but just taking it day by day.

It has been a trying couple of months. Life is not perfect. On top of that, my health in the last week has taken a nosedive also and has put some things into perspective. I haven’t spoken about it cos I don’t want to alarm people but mostly I don’t have answers yet. My friends are assuring me it’s normal but there’s also the fear in the back of my mind that it’s all over now. Come see me perform DEC 5 because it might actually be the last time you have the chance to. Oh yeah I’ve been getting really dark with it. I’ll keep you guys posted although part of me wanted to be like Bill Hicks how he was secretly dying of pancreatic cancer but continued being Bill Hicks 100% doing comedy and nobody even fucking knew. Comedians are clowns that never want to make you cry. Robin Williams, another example.

This original one is probably better but I didn’t like my closet being open. Sorry this is so vain and dark. I see my blog like a journal of self reflection that can also disgust me about myself too. Being real is really scary cos you’re forced to confront yourself constantly. I could entertain you guys with a long list of things I am disappointed in myself about but what would be the point, growth? Ew.

The leaves are all gone now, snow and twigs now frame the lake.

Just keep on truckin’ though.

I threw out those flowers finally. It’s funny when people come back to you and try to repaint the picture as it didn’t go down. Fool me twice mother fucker, nope. You blew it I didn’t.

I’m still working on my book. It feels like War and fucking Peace at this point ugh.

If there is a God, he is going to have some words with me. Or show me the slippy slide right down to Hell.

The morning after Fujahtive I don’t have party face too bad. That girl’s boobs are near my face. This is at Jack and Lois in the Hammer. Very good hipster fattening breaky. Seriously, there’s something called the John Candy for crying out loud. This woman eating a grilled cheese with macaranoi and hickory sticks plus other garbage at the bar beside us oh man, my beau was like hey buddy that looks great what is it? When we moved to a table I was like THAT WAS A WOMAN YOU IDIOT. AHhaha.

Thank God for Hamilton. I have missed quirky cultured and hip things.

They give you a basket of chips when you sit down too. I ordered off menu an egg white omelet and they put cheese in it w/o my asking urgg but other than that I digged everything about it especially staring at everyone in there. People watching should be an Olympic Sport.

Night of/after Fujahtive.

Hangs over the bar at 416 Snackbar.

Bumped into Lise here, that was nice.

He had to pick up something framed. A fugazi poster. Guys seem to like that band.

Went to Chucks Burger bar.

Felt angelic.

Hi.

Even fuller on whatever day this was sigh.

The woman who was murdered by her bf around the corner was a regular at one of my pubs. :(

Vegan nail polish.

Tan time. Should I keep at’er or let my tan fade? I’m still pretty brown.

This is who I am seeing these days. He likes RUSH. I hate RUSH.

This is my breakfast standard. I feel like the poached egg makes up for the bacon and the grilled tomatoes cancel out the home fries. Just, humour me.

I really enjoy this picture of me. I could almost pass for somebody important if I weren’t dressed like Euro trash.

I brought two pairs of footwear cos my feet are high maintenance. My mom bought this sweater for herself, me and my niece one xmas. I seem to be the only one who wears theirs.

This is the money shot though. See how good the Iphone 6 camera is?

I still gotta dye my hair. I know it doesn’t really really need it so I slack. Ha right doesn’t need it then why did I make felt ball caps such a fashion priority lol. Anyone still reading do you like that I have been talking to myself for 15 years in a blog are you cracking u like me yet? ps hi.

I have been hanging out with this humongous mainecoon cat lately. He has a major underbite which exaggerates his feline features more so. He didn’t like me at first because he was barfing everywhere in protest but now he loves me and I have graduated to carrying him around, it looks hilarious.

Kinda blew my theory about how animals hate the touch of human skin. If you’re wearing shorts, your cat will leap over you to sit beside you instead of pants where they will nestle. Meanwhile here I’m holding Kingsley by the stomach and he’s not even fighting me.

Keep calling myself a runner but I haven’t run in a week. This is a thermal layer set I got from Costco.

Loving this feature.

This is my life now. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Peace.



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November 19, 2014

Hey guys. These sacrilicious cross pics are the only reason I am motivated to get an RTM post out there. I have wanted to blog them since taken and although you’ve likely already seen ‘em on facebook or wherever, life just can’t go on until the duds make their way to the blog. I wish I could be the kind of person who can just outright shun social media and be a blog purist through-and-through whereby you only get to see my world via my blog and nowhere else. Maybe that can be a NYE resolution actually. Note to self. Remind me of that please thank you. Now, ready for more? Lets go, yo!

I bought this yesterday. Seeing as wearing these socks with leggings is my winter uniform I may as well wear a sweater that emulates that. Don’t get me started on my fight with the bluenotes staff member on the 2 for 1 sweater deal. I’m going to save it for my stand-up (Dec 5 at the central more deets on that later).

Broke my boycott and went for the most amazing pizza in town. Still not gonna promote ‘em. I’m a stickler asshole like that. The funny thing is they won’t even know why I am mad at them. All bloggers, well the smart ones, go by a code of you are dead to me ethics if you displease me instead of long-winded rants that in actuality serve as promotion, we just go silent and say nothing because it’s meaner. But long story short, running out of dinner options out here though I’ve been hanging around the Hammer a fair bit of recent.

ANYWAY! Moving along!

Yesterday was a big battleship day in the harbour. There’s zero visibility out there today, it’s all white and coming down with snow and I am hearing major ship horns honking as warning. CRAZY.

What can I say we keep it gangster out here.

My winter fashion game is bananas not even gonna front like I know and or care/give a shit about “ensembles”. It’s all about keeping warm until I acclimate. Holy fuck I can still remember how to target the most accurate of descriptions for, uh, what it is that I do lol, “become accustomed to a new climate or to new conditions.”

Massive bum bum Lauren bonus for you.

Second bonus albeit smaller cos of incredible hulk neck line twistage. The shirt says Callahan, like THEE Callahan from Tommy Boy. RIP. Also these are legendary undies. Not getting started or going there.

Another amazing mall look. Dress for your surroundings. This was for Lime Ridge. I actually had no idea where we were but then each person I saw looked funnier than the last so I was like hmm this must not be Etobicoke.

This one is to apologize for the fug ones. Then I’ll have to find one to apologize for this one! See how shiny my legs are? This is my ninja grasshopper Tim the toolman Taylor homage. I bought this shirt in Holland from H&M. I bought a garbage bag sized bag full of stuff post xmas clearance week, there’s a photo of all these 2 euros, 3 euros clothing tags. I guess I owe you guys a summary of how the thing with Dutch guy ended but don’t worry, you will get it. You will get them all in the end. Wink.

Another thing I ate.

Band. Do you want to talk about my hair?

How about here? See how close to Rasta I can get?

That’s my Robert DeNiro. Ehhhhhhhh you insulted him a lil bit, a lil bit.

Here’s my Arnold Schwarzenegger impression clicky clicky.

Chipotle finally occurred. breaking news.

Electric drums. WANT.

That light switch is in my way.

Liking my big hair here. Trying to will myself to dye it asaplease.

I also feel like I could easily pass for a pretty girl in the Shire. Like a Hobbit. Don’t even try to say no about that.

Thanks for the sweet hoodie Britt!

Friday was girl night I can’t believe I got them to watch my movie pick.

We didn’t open these cashews cos Britt is allergic OOPS my bad. Apparently they posess the same properties as prozac if you take a handful of them when you’re feeling emo you’ll pep right up. So while playing Monopoloy DEAL we’ve been shotgunning handfuls of cashews but I can’t really notice a difference cos I’m usually having rum too lol #foreveramystery.

Life tip: Do not order dumpling soup when you eat bibimbap. It’s good though.

If you can’t be in the city you love then love the one you’re in. I enjoyed this cloud p0rn. I’m going to wrap this up now cos I’m losing hours fassst and was a bit ambitious with the amount of stuff I uploaded. Thanks for lending an ear you know I hold you dear, til next time xoxo rlw. ps. I ello!

+++++

psssst! reasons why you should ALWAYS follow me on Twitter.



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November 18, 2014

In case you needed to see me jump in slow motion, here.

Sorry I have been blog slacking, back at it again real soon.



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November 16, 2014

I really love this song so here we covered it too.



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6 years ago I blogged this one and it went over 65k views when the singers of this jam died (RIP Bonnie Bramlett / Delaney Bramlett). There’s no effect on this one and I take these Napoleon Dynamite glasses off midway don’t fret. We may be performing very soon for my 15 year BLOGIVERSARY so stay tuned.

Wow what a diff.



Vomments (3)
November 13, 2014

Oh man where to begin. From these brilliant keepsake photo memorables to the very night itself and the honour to be apart of it… truth be told, I used to be a risque online model many years back and Anthony was one of my bosses.. that’s the connection to Fujahtive. My mother lovingly encountered and captured so many more people connected to Ant + company on Friday night and it’s overwhelming to experience this love, joy, and connection to the band but there it is real as real can be. A friend of Ant’s flew in from Prague for one night just to see this show. The only time I can think of a man wanting to fly anywhere cold for a night would be in the pursuit of tail.

The dream team had a blast, as per usual.

Fujahtive had a flawless performance and the house was packed. The band will be doing this again next year and probably playing a few shows in between at the request of promoters who came to the show. Beatles Cavern Club Brian Epstein moment much? Lol.

Oh good they’re even on Ello. I learned how to finally prononce Fu-JAH-tive. Say it like you mean it too.

I may have stolen some attention for myself.

Marois Kirouac Photography really turned out some impressive shots like there was ever a doubt they would.

Mom was Birthday hungover as well and you couldn’t even tell. #champ

Not to be outdone here is ONE of my pictures. I still intend to get a new camera and make use of it. One of these days. The Iphone 6′s camera definitly outdoes my Samsung Galaxy 4. Sigh.

Because we were standing beside the stage and I act like a Raymiac when I go out at night all the time people were grooving on all my, well this.

Crowd watching was awesome too and not in a snarky way. It was sweet to see these fans all be reunited and the chill vibe throughtout tattoo was like a big warm enveloping ganja hug. I kept thinking my purse reeked but it didn’t, it was the air all around you lol.

When I was younger, Ant’s gf (now wife) told me he was in a famous reggae band back in the day and I was like yeah yeah whatever sure. FFWD to Friday. Touche yo. I will never doubt random bits of information ever again no matter what it is. (Jk i don’t fkkn trust any y’all.)

And we haven’t seen each other in 12 years so it was pretty fantastic to see your old buddies again not to mention the fun I had the month leading in to the event promoting and working with the band. If you ever need some Social Media mgmt and help sinfluencing the system, do let me know. I come with pro photogs.

I’ll give you a quarter if you can guess which guy in the band hooked me up with some rollies. Hint: it was none of these guys.

How much do you love brass tho right? You know when someone drags you out to a show you don’t want to go to let alone hear and you’re all crabby (or is that just me) Well THIS show was nothing like that. It felt like my ears were at a day spa in Montego Bay. There was not one offensive sound that went inside my ears.

Heeeeeeeeey I want to play the trumpet too.

I wonder what he was singing about there. I loved tweeting about/to fujahtive. All you gotta do is google rasta sayings to make up a bunch of shit and string it all together LAWDA MERCY!

The visuals were nice and trippy as well.

Bro on the keys had epic moves. Could not keep my eyes off him. John was rocking the tight shots like he do.

So many good pics it was hard to choose for this post.

My mom said at the end of the night all the guys were super sore and it was hilarious to see them all complaining about their aches and pains and backs. Anthony required a wheelchair the next day at the airport bahha. aw.

Look at those satisfied smiles. Happy people everywhere. Can everywhere be like a Fujahtive concert please. All my friends who couldn’t make it should definitely feel stupid.

Nice work Mommsy.

Did you notice how my hair and mom’s shirt and mom’s hair and my shirt match? We must have some mom daughter mental connection cos we always match when we meet up.

Diva! Just kidding, Ant is humble as hell.

Raymi break! Each blog post must contain at least 10 pictures of me or the world stops spinning.

Okay I’m starting to feel crazy time to wrap this up.

Then I got shadow puppet schooled.

The family that shoots together, scoots together?

Til next time Fujahtive, looking forward to it!



Vomments (1)
November 8, 2014

This is for you cos you’re worth it. Happy Caturday!

Last night was Raymazing btw. Super packed house, everything went off without a hitch (is that the saying?) and the sound quality was pristine and the tunes were awesome. More to come bum bums.



Vomments (2)
November 7, 2014

Online ticket sales are over yo! But you can get one at the door.

See you later Babylon Zion one! It’s gonna be epic, can’t wait.

HERE’S THE HISTORY OF FUJAHTIVE BTW

“It all began when our singer Winston Ho-Sang transferred​ from Oakwood Collegiate to Forest Hill Collegiate mid year. There he met our eventual guitar and bass player who discovered they had a mutual love of reggae music and pot. One day after the smoke cleared they decided to form a reggae band. Somebody said lets smoke one and think of a name with Jah in it! Jahstice (nah too dark), PyJahmas, (hahaha no we’re too baked), Fujahtive (Bingo).

We still needed drums, keyboards and most adamantly a 3 piece horn section. We were big fans of UB40 when they were young like us and were making music that was not covered in cheese whiz so we had to have horns even though crap keyboard horns were taking over in Reggae Music (less guys to pay).

Winston is a classical musician and Oakwood was known for their music program. He recruited the rest and we started jamming including his identical twin brother Wayne on vocals who was in the band for a few years. We played at our high school, basement party’s anywhere we could. Finally, still in high school we scored a gig at the legendary Bamboo club on a Monday night. They were expecting that maybe a few family members would show up so they had one bartender on. About 300 of our schoolmates from both schools showed up with their fake ID’s and screwed up the alcohol inventory for the remainder of the week. Pretty soon, we were headlining our own weekends there. Next we started getting calls from promoters to open for all the biggest international reggae acts coming through town. They wanted to bring in a more diverse (young/white) crowd. In those days these shows were held at the Copa on Scollard in Yorkville and capacity was 2000. We ended up opening for Burning Spear, Sly and Robbie, LKJ, Gregory Isaacs, Culture, Shinehead, Yellowman. Then we got the call to open two nights for UB40. The city was plastered with advertising UB40 and Fujahtive. The day of the first show we were told we were getting bumped because on of the members of UB40 had a relative in some shitty ass band called whothefuckcares. Anyway thousands of people saw whothefuckcares suck and concluded it was us. That stings to this day and we believe those pricks in UB40 ought to make amends.

We got an agent and managed to kick ass at the coca conference which was the predecessor to NXNE in front of all the talent buyers country wide and then we started touring Vancouver Island to Halifax. 8 guys and a sound engineer inhaling each others rotten gas station pogo farts and seeing the Country. We never made a lot of money, but we never lost any and more importantly we remained close and never officially disbanded we just started getting married and having babies which of course killed touring.

The reunion started at a charity golf course. Guitar player plays golf (badly) and is impressed with charity presenter. They start talking and he convinces her that he actually used to be sort of cool looking and played in a reggae band. He suggests a fundraiser and talks to the guys. Voila!”

FUJAHTIVE ON SOUNCLOUD take a listen.



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