Closed door parties

Hey guys, I feel like shit today. I feel like this diet is stripping my soul away. I feel that empty kind of sick. I am probably three day hungover on top of that and can’t heal because I am not allowed to put french fries and grease into my system, or a pizza, that’s how you cure hangovers where I come from. The trick would be to not drink period though obvi. Maybe a run at the gym too but my left foot is still killing me I need to learn how to not march like an idiot when I tool around, it’s winter, you gotta hoof it.

Oh, and I am moving back downtown so if you know of a deece place in a nice naybe lemme know thanks. I don’t want roommates. Well, you know. No one wants roommates. I just don’t want to live with strangers or incur other people’s bullshit, or annoy anybody. I want something new. I want to become a curmudgeon who stays single for so long that they don’t know how to relate to people anymore or get near to them and the benefits of being single not living with a partner I haven’t had that in years. I want to eat beans from a can over a barrel drum fire in the middle of my shitty loft apartment talking to a rat ahah kidding. I don’t want to wear pants for 8 days straight actually I don’t really wear pants anymore anyway now that I am obese so all good there.

I still haven’t heard back from the audition so I don’t know I guess that means I didn’t get it but I am still holding out hope and my consolation prize is Aruba so, yeah. This is my birthday month and it feels awful gloomy ‘nt it? I feel sad actually like it’s the last month in my twenties and I am wasting it being depressed. But I’ve partied enough haven’t I? Does the party have to end? I don’t know but at the end of the day it would be nice to come home to my own home, something Shiresque with carrots and talking rabbits, kay fuck the Shire I have to stop referencing it I prefer the Hundred Acre Wood for this dreamer post speaking of that I think I’m gonna get a writing grant so what’s that all about, that’s exciting! Shoulda done that years ago.

But back to that audition I’m grateful I was already doing my diet 9 days prior because it ignited me and gave me a confidence boost and I haven’t felt the me-power in months, and months so, sweet plus finally. Also should I go to Atlanta before Aruba in the mean time just to do something and like get out of everybody’s hair and rip it up a little bit before I Sylvia Plath it? j/k It’s cutting it close to Aruba but I think I’ve done a stacked trip schedule (barely) successfully before so why not. Once you go away somewhere you get wanderlust and it’s an itch you need to scratch.

How amazing is Life of Pi, right? Beautiful film. I wanted to see it again today but they returned it. I’ll buy it. That’s a re-watcher for sure, many lessons in there and gorgeous to look at, stunning, like Prozac. I’ve wanted pancakes for days now. There’s bacon flavoured popcorn here and I chewed up the rest of the bag and spit it out just to see what carbs felt like again it was only a couple handfuls but my pupils instantly dilated like a cartoon character’s and my cheeks were puffed out it was a scene. When people describe eating pasta after not having pasta for a long time that’s basically what it felt like.

I’ve decided to take some acting lessons though so that’s good. To get sharp, hone the craft what is acting. Maybe I am tired of being myself.

Always nice to spot a familiar face in the crowd.

I am still re-cooperating from this. I am not 20 anymore. Damn fuck haha. Trade show tequila didn’t help either although it was free and delicious.

Before that, Spoke. It was quiet. It was Monday after all.

Cob salad mmmmm best I’ve ever had. It was supposed to be with smoked turkey but remember how I said I was done with smoked turkey?

Okay I am out of here now I have to do the paid writing gig. Blogging is exhausting.

It’s Justin Bobby Pins!