so this obnoxious fool was attacking everything what was everything what was me saturday afternoon and i was beyond annoyed with his gall to be such a fucker what with the occasion ‘n all
he was making fun of my nose and my flat chest and my smoking and saying oh i bet you don’t even have a boyfriend and he was making all these not-funny pervy jokes and being completely innapropriate and making fun of the catholic religion because he’s jewish and i was sitting there drinking a specialty coffee and yes i was mouthing back like your bitchy aunt all over the livingroom because i knew i could get away with it
dude couldn’t hit me or anything ‘cos it was a family-gathering and even his dotter was there and his wife
and he was bragging about all these things he buys off ebay and how he lavishes his wife with gifts and i said well that’s because you hate yourself and you feel inadequate and insecure about your fat face and bald head and fat stomache and it makes you feel better about yourself to cut up other people by way of pointing out their big noses and making fun of their uncle
and i also said i was completely fine with my big nose and had come to accept it and my flat chest and that many men/women appreciated my body, liked it very much in fact and then i told him to go fuck his fat bastard self and that’s when my nana came over to me and said now be a lady and she was trying to smooth out my forehead because when i get angry my forehead turns into a mass of rageful expression
and then fat focker says he knows someone who does botox
and on and on and on it went ’til about 4 or 5pm and it got to a point wherein you start making all these violent scenarios in your head and thinking about how everyone in the room would react to you flying across the coffeetable and strangling the guy whilst china cups and plates of food are smashing all around and you’re screaming and screaming
and for the sake of your fantasy reactions being in your favor
everybody is cheering you on
and
someone passes you a cigarette afterwards and the dude apologizes for being such a douchebag and it is not at all awkward after your ridiculous flip-out
not in the least
heh
and so
because i am not a violent person by nature and i know full well that there are bound to be not good repurcussions to a scenario involving strangulation
i sat there listening to holiday music
at the end of the couch
listening to this pervert brag about giving it to his wife the nite before and was happy as crap when she came down the stairs and told her side
which was
her being tired, being half asleep and letting him take advantage of her
and seeing his ego put on their winter ebay boots to go make fun of the pigmeat on the diningroom table for maybe 2 minutes before he came back over to talk really loud and stupid for a couple more hours.
thanks duder-dude for the new banner and for saying on it that there is a party in my head i think that this particular banner lends much credibility to the raymi blog, don’t you agree?
the guy was standing there, too aware of his outfit, poseuing by his table of friends and the one with the played-out fohawk who did a few backflips on the spot to the shitty cover band and the girl with the black shoulder-showing shirt and blond little hair grabbed the mic and screamed one of those rock songs you throw yourself around to in seedy bars and i asked aimee if she hated her as much as i did and aimee’s eyes bugged out in agreement.
i always feel bad when i am in that place, bad for people, the women they are sitting there waiting to be approached in their xmas dressyness and they are talking to each other and all the men are wearing the same lame leather jacket with cellphones clipped to their belts and they are looking at the 20 year olds who are brazen enough to drunkscreamtalk and then i look back at the clusters of women with pride and self-respect, trying to appear that way anyhow and then some drunk doofus-fuck is barking at me about his wife/ex-wife, soon-to-be and i feel like telling him look moron, look over there at those pretty ladies who might just put up with your bullshit a little while, i don’t understand why YOU just won’t/don’t understand that you are wasting your friday nites in the same spot every week, hoping ms.perfect will come along and be everything your mother is/not
so stop talking to me because i am not going to fuck you, i’m not even going to hold your hand, or remember you three minutes from now, but that woman over there at the table, she is staring at you right now so why don’t you accept the fact now that you are balding and your white collar job will only impress a 23 yr. old for maybe 8 months or so if you’re lucky and then you have to try it all over again and by then you are nearing 50 and thinking about spreading your seeds around but no woman is wanting to pop out bastard children for a man who will be in his grave by the time they’re in university.
If we accustom ourselves to carefully analyzing our actions, we gradually discover the causes for our failure, be it economic, emotional or of any other nature. We will realize that our present situation is a result of a chain of events which stems from negligence, laziness, or bad decisions.
The habit of proposing to do many things and never achieving any for example, is highly pernicious because in order to attain mastery and power over outside events, it is first necessary to keep one’s word, to fulfill and put into practice one’s own decisions. One who practices this precept methodically and patiently will find that his mastery over the forces of Nature increases daily until he is able to fulfill all that he promises to do.
so she showed up after we had been discussing her a little while and she was valiumed-up and boozed to the tits and she whipped out her new sample package of effexor and i tried to tell her about social anxiety and how valium is not a solution at all and the walk-in clinic lady who gave it to her should be fired
i could have said anything to her, anything at all, and she wouldn’t hear it/comprehend, nothing, i was losing my patience so i said look i am giving you advice here and i am telling you to at least cut your drinking IN HALF at least STOP VALIUM and then take that effexor crap because none of it will take affect if you are on all these other things and adan piped in and said raymi is a very good friend of mine she knows what she is talking about but all she could think about was why adan was ignoring her and i was right in the middle of it all and i was thinking about my get-away
so she followed me to the bathroom to talk about adan and i was thinking oh boy this is one big giant mess that i do not want to be a part of but my heart was bleeding for her ‘cos that is my nature
she is just 20 years old and she is a big bumbling mess
and then she started shoving me around in the bathroom to show that’s what friends do and that’s what she wanted adan to be like with her out in public and i felt really uncomfortable because i know that everyone is concerned for adan with this girl and she doesn’t have a clue and here she is shoving me drunkenly-jokingly
all i wanted to do was urinate and i was confronted with this drama and she wouldn’t shut up so she followed me up the stairs still shoving and i look at adan like i am SO out of here very soon, we need to talk, this is FUCKED and so she sees Brandy and we thought he had left already because he was mad about the business with adan and i say oh look there he is, GO TO HIM and she does
and i turn to adan and he motions not now ‘cos the cook guy from the other bar is there who is in love with this girl also so i put on my jacket and am all later doooooods, good luck with all this and adan comes out for a goodbye smoke and i say dude, no more mixed signals, it’s at that point now, don’t take her home because you are both horny lonelies, she’s making you look bad all over town and you know this, now’s the time before it gets worse, tra la la
and then anj showed up and said nice things about my blog and i said that fil put a strike through her link and she went oooooooooooooooh like the boogey-man and i told her that her hair was nice and i liked her jacket and blayne offered us weed and i said no i don’t smoke anymore and then i turned into pixie-dust and sprinkled myself off into the nite.
