no one really says cool anymore. i remember when it was all about that word, even your gramma was saying it and when she would you’d be like “NICE ONE GRAMMA!” and she’d blush because she was planning on saying it all day long and finally found her window of opportunity to throw it in there but then your dad rolls his eyes and is like “oh brother, talk to the hand.”
but now, grammas are like huge rap stars and talk all street with their yo homies crap and you are thinking oh my, i hope she doesn’t have brass knux stashed in with the yarn in that knitting carrier.
i don’t know how to react when i see oldies acting like l’il bow wow.
i don’t even know how to react when i see l’il bow wow acting like l’il bow wow.
i am basically like, wow and he is SO cool and all grown up and he is sitting in a fancy car and all these hot babes are slamming their asses into other hot babes’ asses around him and i am thinking hey isn’t this kid 14 years old? what the fuck was i doing when i was 14 why in the hell didn’t i get a record deal like i was suppose to when kris kros came out, I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIIFE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
and so on.
i never thought i would be one of those people who are all nostalgic for their childhood/time, when the world made sense and all you ever did was eat cotton candy and burn stuff with your magnifying glass and the sun. GO SUN!
but i am one of those people and i am ok with it because i have learned how to still sort of be cool or fake like i know what is going on really well.
hanging out with people in-the-know or who are in “the scene” helps too because they do all the work and then they always want someone to go party with them and you are like, always available for that so you put on your party pants and tag along.
and when i get “trapped” talking to someone who is in on “the scene” and they are like do you know this band do you know that band have you heard of < insert weird foreign hotgirl name > and i am like no i have not to all of these questions, after awhile you get a reputation that just baffles people like oh there goes the doesn’t know anything about anything girl, how strange, i really want her to listen to this band because they are SO hot right now and then i am like dude if you really want me to listen to that stuff, get me a cd or email me a website url or get me a ticket to their concert otherwise stop throwing out names of stuff like i am going to remember what you are talking about in three seconds anyway i am trying to dance on a chair, HELLO!
so yeh.
last nite i demanded to sing a beatles song with the band and so i sang i saw her standing there but the mic volume was crap and when i was done fil asked how it felt and i said it felt like i was standing in a horny moshpit and the singer of the band kept drinking my beer but it was great having people smile at you and scream along but it’s ok about the singerdude ‘cos aimee and i made him fall off his chair when we were dancing and he was singing a song and kane was like you morons and i said but it was funny at least, right?
and he said that it was.
i talked to two ladies in the bathroom who were like THIS BAND ROCKSSSSSSSSS and they were wearing fucking awesome sweaters that looked like they came from the circus ‘cos they were purple with gold sparkly crap weaved into them and all this color and i said hey i think i need to put my sunglasses on to talk to you and they got all giggly then started touching at my sweater because there is a plaid scottie dog on it and i am like ok that’s enough of THAT.
i find that when i am walking down the street and i have run out of things to think about this is when i watch how other people are walking and i copy them and time my steps to be in sync with their steps until i think of something to think about.
oh and i lost my mittens yesterday.
i think i left them at the liquor store in parkdale.
fil and i hung with parkdalemassive today and we showed up in kensington just as his boss was screaming at some lacky that tapes up boxes so we scooped up parkdalemassive and went to his pad and played burnout three for a bit then went to cadillac lounge and i regaled them with stories of how i got caught stealing a lipstick from a supermarket and some lady had the same cat hat as me ‘cept hers was grey and i didn’t make a big deal over it and confront her, though i should have.
maybe.
oh and yesterday i hung with parkdalemiddleton and we drew pictures and talked about how one day noel will finally get laid off and then jim showed up and told me about his music touring because he is in this fancy popular band or something and they toured with tea party and he said the guy who thinks he is jim morrison is all fat and wanted t-shirts sized medium.
ok so most of the laundry was completed yesterday and nextly i have to clear away all my little knick-knacks and paperclips and put them someplace and not forget where that someplace is.
i just went to get coffees, like a couple hours ago and me and natalie were discussing our periods and how we are screaming at people and then she turns to this lady and says poor lenny kravitz, what with the SUCKING and all and i was shocked into silence because at the time it was the funniest thing i had ever heard and the fact that she is telling it to some random ole lady who prolly has no idea who that lenny kravitz is and then natalie goes on about how his hair makes him look like an old lady and i was like are these coffees on the house and she is like yes and i said well let me buy something so i bought two packets of cider and i said something like if you are going to get mad at people just scream at them don’t throw hot coffee in their faces please although that would be funny but i think you would um, go to jail?
last nite was fun.
we went to al/sher/kane’s place and got shitty and smashed the drums and played with all the instruments at the same time and didn’t really try to sound like a band at all and sher and i were going thru her photo album of how she use to be all fat and so we talked about how we think we are fat for a whole hour and kane was in the background doing invoices or something and every other word coming out of my mouth is heffer and he is rolling his eyes ‘cos sher has made him look at this album before.
u dont know me. im from argentina just wanted to meet u
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
is it fine?
raymi am robot. says:
sure
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
u got any photo?
raymi am robot. says:
why did u want to meet me
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
saw ur blog
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
u seem cool. dunno
raymi am robot. says:
well all my pictures are on it there
raymi am robot. says:
how old are you
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
17 hhaa. small arent i?
raymi am robot. says:
are u a boy ?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
yes i am
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
u like young?
raymi am robot. says:
arent u suppose to be in school?
raymi am robot. says:
no i do not like young.
raymi am robot. says:
well i dont like to date young if that is what you mean
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
but maybe sometime mate?
raymi am robot. says:
what?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
have you got webcam?
raymi am robot. says:
no, why are you being so pushy?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
sorry i didnt mean to
raymi am robot. says:
aren’t you suppose to be in school right now
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
nono
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
i called absent
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
have you got more pictures of you topless?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
i like them i study art and they are artistic
raymi am robot. says:
that is total bullshit
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
no. seriously
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
it sounds like
raymi am robot. says:
well go search for some on google then i dont have time to send exclusive tit shots to people who “study art” and then call in absent. what is this world coming to?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
oh come on dont be mad
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
i started wrong..sorry
raymi am robot. says:
well start again
raymi am robot. says:
sorry for being a bitch
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
what do u mean by a bitch?
raymi am robot. says:
um, a mean scarey woman?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
well. u can be jaja
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
its fine
raymi am robot. says:
what is jaja?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
haha
raymi am robot. says:
oh
raymi am robot. says:
do u mean you are allowed to be a bitch or do you mean, you ARE a bitch?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
what went through your mind to publish a topless picture?
raymi am robot. says:
that i have every right to do that?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
sure! i know
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
but you like to pose. or show your body
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
‘?
raymi am robot. says:
what are you getting at, exactly?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
nothing. just wondering
raymi am robot. says:
well since you are 17 years old you are not suppose to be studying my naked body, according to the online pervert law
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
you mind?
raymi am robot. says:
yes i mind laws.
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
putting laws appart.. do you like me to look at you and say i appreciate what this woman does.. or you preffer me not to see your naked body
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
?
raymi am robot. says:
prefer has only one ‘f’ in it.
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
you didnt answer
raymi am robot. says:
what is this, an interview?
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
just asking..
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
you see. you like me or others to look at you
raymi am robot. says:
well look i dont care either way, how about that.
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
since we are 2000 miles away.. we could do things you dont usually do..
raymi am robot. says:
how about it’sa ploy to get traffic from intellectual people like you
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
remember argentinians are big cocked and cute
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
big big
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
answer raymi..
raymi am robot. says:
you’re fucking annoying is what you are
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
just as a game
raymi am robot. says:
and you are posing as a 17 yr old art student who is prolly homeless and a male prostitute
Morir De Cara Al Sol says:
dont you have curiosity of an argentinian cock?
raymi am robot. says:
NO I DO NOT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
raymi am robot. says:
what part of leave me the fuck alone do you not understand, i do not want to view your webcam
tell me how i can generate revenue. i have to tell a fancy somebody that i am celebrity enough to generate revenue. i am thinking coffeetable book of my drawings and photographs and selected writings along with a dvd of me singing and throwing pots n pans down the stairs and talking to myself in a mirror.
basically i need monies to pay someone to help me with all of this crap because i am mentally retarded and cannot do it alone because i have to drink beer and check emails and think about moving on top of the CN tower.
anyway, i get to be informal about the whole pitch/thing-a-ling, which is nice.
if i don’t get to be myself, things don’t work out.
so people who care, please email me your ideas/advices.
today i will finally do laundry and there better be enough of those dryer sheets to go ’round and detergent otherwise i am not doing laundry.
any/every chance i get to delay the inevitable, i take it.
but then when i am walking around looking at mountains of clothes i start whining and sighing obnoxiously and people go you STILL haven’t done your laundry!?
and i say well it would be done if YOU did it for me you selfish fuck!
so, yes, it is pretty much that time of the month so i am very funny and charming one second and then i am gargamel from the smurfs a second later and then i am splinter from ninja turtles, all calm and shit and then i am snow white… i don’t know how to finish this tangent.
anyway.
so i am drinking and eating a lot and watching movies and being boring and having quite a lovely time ‘cept i am repulsed by my stomache, not that it has changed significantly, it’s just, water/beer weight, i suppose.
and i am always saying ok i am going to do sit-ups. tomorrow. and then i don’t.
and then i say ok tomorrow i am doing sit-ups.
and then we go to the bar and order greasy food and play megatouch for eleven hours and hang out in mack’s garage and drink more and put nails in the shelves and take the bolt cutters to everything and, cut stuff, and then valerie comes in and is uhhh why does it smell like you are painting in here? and i have caulking on my fingers and i am wearing a protective mask on my head and we are standing on fancy-expensive wood and fil is like, hi, we were uh, building you something?
i hate it when people freak out about cleaning and they are like excuse me buster i asked you to pick that up, pick it up.
and you are all yeh i will, relax.
and they are like pick it up now.
and then you say it will be picked up in a little while, what does it matter if it just chills there for a bit?
and then they say because i said pick it up now.
and you are all busy putting red crayon on your gi joe figures [for blood] and then you sigh, roll your eyes and say, in a really annoyed tone of voice, look man, can’t you see i am very busy right now? while you are pointing at the gi joes.
then you wait for the person’s hair to set on fire and they go completely apeshit and take the thing that they wanted you to pick up and they either:
a. throw it in the garbage
b. hide it someplace where you will never think to look and that they forget immediately where they put it
c. passionately destroy it in front of you
and then you casually mention that the thing does not even belong to you and you convince person that it is theirs and then you also tack on, “friggin’ idiot” at the end and then person has another freak-out and then you thank them for being the inspiration for your dis-membered gi joe diorama and you show it to them and you give ‘em the wink’n’gun and proclaim you will be eating eggo waffles because now you are all stressed out over the cleaning frenzy.
and as you are walking away you turn around and mouth “cleaning frenzy” silently at person and make the quotations action with your fingers.
