Saturday Dinner me this FatMan! Found my cougar avocado pit rrrring. You can all relax now.
I wore my Hello Kitty necklace to Guu and was like hmmm am I sure I want to wear this it seems a bit, pathetic? Then I forgot all about it and had a guu’d time and only looked down when I left and was like oh, right. Most of my life is comprised of I shouldn’t do this moments, then I do it anyway, and then I blog about it. Guu tweeted @ me by the time we left the resto and I didn’t even tweet @ them or anything while there. #Famous #Foodie #douchebag. *Dusts shoulders off*. That would be the ouchebag-day part.
Stuffed jalapenos. Vince was mindblown by these. They were super hot I was like wow. Hey guys, these things, WoW. Seriously. That’s bacon wrapped around them too.
Always down with the sashimi I dunno why it makes me feel skinny even though I ate ten thousand other not sashimi things. It’s all about the wasabi mayo and the fresh fish.
TV Hair. Addicted to this drink now, Almost out of the sugar free cans please send more Bunnies. Ps. I have to think of a bunny nickname for myself. Like Babs Bunny, but not Babs Bunny cos that is already taken. I’m a writer for Playboy now btw A blogger writer for their tumblr, aren’t they so darn modern! DREAM JOB.
After dinner parking lot fabulosity.
Oh that’s right I got sake-to-me’d. AKA Sake hosed. We gave’r on a sake flight, two of them!
I’m Raymsian. Go with it. You have no choice.
Yeah I could do with a bit of a make over but I also do not give a crap really. Try hards die hard remember that folks.
I felt a bit pornorific in that shirt and if I might have caught the eye or wonderment of a passing person’s Playboy logo recognition and reference to my person I might also have not done much to dissuade them from thinking Centerfold. Maybe.
I mean why not.
If I got implants allegedly I’d regret it.
Lets work on my face first.
Ginger sake is the best. I want a bottle.
For Dinner # 1 I had a Big Smoke burger, very very good, first time too. Summer is for burgers.
Missed the opening band, poolside, but met one of the guys and bought some crap anyway I love Poolside!! I love this bag too.
Chocolate gravy. That is all I will say. Plus these other things too. First dinner at the hotel resto, Pago Pago, we were pooped.
I’m calling Rogers here. Oh lord lets pretend that I won’t get a phonebill next month ACKKKKKKKK.
Hot hot hot. It was really hot. I will never forget it, espesh when I look at these pics. That’s a triple screwdriver in that thermos, we love to drunk vacation shop. It makes for better purchasing decisions.
Sick.
Where the houses end so does the island. We were truly on a very teeny tiny island it felt neat of mind, isolating, forgotten.
Lots of beach exercise walks. Loved it.
Cuts a nice fig(ure).
Everyone be cool.
Thinking about getting some ivy tattooed to this arm.
Missin ya kissin ya.
Like little dolls.
What’s up.
Likewise.
The second time I put my toes in the water and then no more times after that. The pool is dullsville after about one day of it and after having a cabana on the beach. Next time a party resort please a la Vegas. I want tanked chicks in gladiator ankle snapping wedges and skin tight liquid gold unitards, oh wait, that’ll be me.
I can dance better now. Or fake it as so.
Cold room, warm hearts.
I have mad lifeguard and swimming skills btw.
Fans that dropped in a lot. When I forgot I’d invited them (wasted)(getting out of awkward situation) the night prior lol whoops. Hurricane Raymi hit Aruba hard in the hearts.
Once you’ve seen one you’ve seen ‘em all. Can I please see some more please?
Sigh.
YAAAAAAAA Buddy.
On the way there they stuck me in the middle seat. Mom cropdusted Lois’ face while she slept I thought a baby had crapped themselves it stank ahahahahha PAYBACK MOM.
Holdin’ court at the Manager’s party that’s how we do.
Do everything at least once. Get a million pictures of it so you never have to do it again.
Going for a run after happy hour with my bottoms wedged in my ass listening to tunes was an experience Lemme tell yeah, jumping over sandcastles and kids. Ferris Bueller’d that entire shore. Giv’er. Til next time. Tons more, tons tons tons.
Craig was trying to boss around the women, yeah good luck with that buddy. I mean you’re completely right and everything but nha nah anahanah sha lal alalalaalal what? Here read our FB party recount comments, beneath the picture of me as a Bible Salesgirl (which I haven’t blawged yet) but then we discuss the above photo.
Raymi Lauren White you are always talking and trying to give party lessons we women dont care to hear but we find you endearing.
Craig Like, “don’t ride your bike into oncoming traffic while drunk” got it, I will keep that nonsense to a minimum!
Raymi Lauren White thank you!
Raymi Lauren White ahahahhaa
Scott Bliss that’s a great picture!
Jules Venus I like this
Sarah Ha, whatever Craig is saying to me I’m so not amused. Holding in my rebuttal just waiting for him to shut his trap xox
Raymi Lauren White can i like your comment twice bro hell yeah lol
Craig One against 3… = unfair!!!
Craig well, depending on where of course!
LOL.
It was a very fun time. Dave (green shirt) hooked me up with a new get out of trouble saying/sentence-starter, “you see, what had happened was.” Barbados people say it? Who says it again? Anyway it’s mine now. And I am only telling you this because I care deeply for you.
JuJu said I am the middle one and Bech is the one with the fro. We always make her the shitty one to piss her off bahahaha. Where is the russian doggies picture of us again?
Hi, welcome to the Raymi the Minx hour. Today we will be discussing everything that sucks about everybody else who isn’t us, celebrity affairs, colouring in our Jem book, drinking a lot and feng shui seashells. You can totally MUTE it.
If you are ever needing to evacuate a bus people jump out the back like this. Obvs I was a bus um, patrol kid WTF are they called again? No bullying on Raymi’s bus you little shits.
I think my hair does look good here. Vacations are great makeunders, you find yourself, discover new style, you give a shit a little bit less about things.
Nice one!
Our first Yay Cray guest being none other than Mr. Sean Ward. We did tractor rides, I launched him across the room ten times. Raymi Long Legs, very powerful.
In this frame here what is Jem jazzed about exactly? You have no seconds to answer this question. NNNT. (buzzer sound).
Our judge goes over your non-response. You win by default of already being bored of this.
Now get the hell off my show!
In this portion of the show, Raymi has some Me time where she reflects upon all that she drank and ate and people at the party who are annoying her.
Now try to be sexy Raymi (who took these again Jules?) dude I am trying here.
My inspiration.
Canada’s Top Male model. Heard it here first.
Eat baby eat!
This guy has never had a taco in his life. I made him eat three!
I’m going to JO to this later.
I love shrimp and cilantro. Some people do not like cilantro I’ve been deprived of it for years cos I stumbled in to so many people who hate it well guess what not no more folks I am going to eat it by the teaspoons lol.
Saved these for Vince. Had to babysit them hardcore. Are you watching the tacos? Yes I am! Jules got the last coveted one.
I think I had 5.
Zoom.
See the diff in camera photos and crappy iphone flash?
Okay bye bye bon weekend! Guess where I’m going for dinner tonight.
It’s your night Raymbecca lets get married! Got her roses and jewels and lots of white shells and sand from Aruba who am I your best friend or something?? Jules got some swag too (matching yellow bracelet the ones I always wear 4 of at the same time) but she is leaving the family so :(, not as many shells as Rebecca. She came straight from the airport to bar though. That’s our little star. Her luggage.
She said yes obvs before I even actually proposed she popped that ring right on THE FINGER at Cardinal Rule and then told everyone we were in a relationship now haha. I wore that ring on tv shoot yesterday, buying it in Aruba and hagglin’ the price straight down, yes I did. Okay back to the art party. I believe there’s lots of hangovers out there today. TGIF!
I misplaced MY cougar ring yesterday I hope I find it in my purse later on. It’s made from an avocado pit! Carved from one. Mine looks like this.
Look at all these civilized people sitting down. Raymbo don’t play that, can’t. Too hyper. Hey Kaori!
Really really really love this one. Total steal.
This is the one though.
And this wall is to die for.
I like how Sarah dances with her purse still on and by like I mean hate. I tried to boss it off her, come on relax a little, nope, no takers. Fine then. Our crew of girls is comprised of bossy little women omg exhausting all surrounding men as well as hugely intoxicating them. Right! right!
I hope that’s a dance move Bech I’m going to throw up these pics on your tumblr as well. I hope you don’t throw up today on camera lol. “I’m drunk right now what do you think about that?” Had the most hilar phonecall with her earlier. She said she gave one word answer only. Great.
I just want to be liked.
I slouched cos I was cutting off the sign.
Total dance outfit. I’m buying this dress off Allison. No brainer right? No brains either. The first time wearing that vintage necklace out. I bought it in Kensington market.
Bradley Cooper showed up.
Asian feves with M. Kim holla.
Our band rules.
MJ vision.
Hello the spanish dancer raymbotainment has arrived. Even my toes are cute.
Make it rain money.
And dance moves. Raymbecca is being interviewed about me right now I hope she makes me look good (of course she will) and I hope she gives them a massive Bechnique dose so we get our own show out of this. I am sure Jules was hilarious this morning. Mom was too sick to do it. Next time mom. Follow @Raymi Smother btw LOL. She’s a MILF. Insert the hashtag #MILF in to your twitter bio (that I wrote when I started her account years ago) A nerd, please help her.
Wino walk home in our bare feet trecking through each resort by the beach was awful fun those shoes were not going back on.
Okay tankhouses ready for more? Too bad you don’t get a say.
Gonna hafta start a #Arubawithdrawal hashtag. Mom and Susanne so far said they have it. No wait Susanne has Raymi withdrawal lol and I am certain mom’s sinusitus isn’t helping her post-vacay SADs much. Oh buck up team! We can coast off the photo memories for weeks.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
I asked to take a picture then took one and said too late and ran off then mom took this one and they were still laughing about it. No time no time much to see and do.
Did you make me sick? We will never know and who cares this food poisoning poison is a great lean-out. I loved this ahi dish so much I had it again for our offish fancy vip dinner the wine ladies invited us too like we weren’t gonna go anyway, come on, I’m a foodielite. Chef Mark Boland enjoyed hisself this evening, I got hosed (again) and then had a cry attack phonecall during dessert came back down to my v soda waiting for me and then, what did we do, go gambling? To the room and passed out? Blur. Complete.
Venus and I recounted our 9/11 experiences. Solid chick!
Good one mom.
Here comes trouble.
Lookin’ pretty, girls!
What a fabulous trip am I right!? Totally. Okay now your emo has hit me about it.
Raymbo vortex.
Bahahahaaa.
Lolo and Tray Tray <3.
Good to know.
One dude told me all the other dudes were fighting over me, squbbling, calling dibs. Oh boys. Classic. None of you get me! We were just bros anyway you can’t claim the minx. Well maybe some can, but not you.
Fairy Godmothers <3.
Adore this shot.
Thanks for the genetics Tray and not for the cray. You can have that back.
Come for the Tray stay for the Cray lol. She HATES that nickname.
Speaking of cray there’s a plenty cray convo beneath this pic on FB if you’re bored (boring) enough for a snoop.
Didn’t buy it. White washes you out on tv anyway they say. I dunno I’m arrogant enough to believe that everything looks good on me.
Feelin’ statuesque that’s right. Don’t talk about my hair.
O_O.
Dorian is a cool dude, very gregarious and funny. They get the tourists on board and give them a good time so it’s basically (totally) like the hospitality industry. Just be nice and like ultra nice, what a concept. Too bad I am too bitchy for that and real.
blah blah blah blah blah i am fake typing for tv right now how do you like my interesting banter yes it is crappy I know but that’s the breaks in show biz bro. oh what a week it has been ok hitting publish now. It’s very hard to type when people are watching and filming. okay now we are doing a dead-on shot where they film me straight on and get the reflection of my typing words lololol hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. now what do i talk about hmm i am starving.
So as you can tell my energy drinks arrived and I have been standing on a wall ever since cos they are so effective.
I suddenly have a hankering for the gypsy kings’ rendition of Hotel California.
Welcome to de island mon.
Step into my orifice.
One hot phone moment left bro. These things someday will be gone right?
It was 1000 degrees sitting on that thing. The heat I will never forget. I dig it man. Makeup looks better on you. A lot of freckles came out of my face.
Day one with LoLo and I get skinnier as the vacay goes on. I got poop sick somehow I think it was the water and I was damn dehydrated. Still am. Still got a bit of the craps. I played craps and took mad ones y’all.
Lets do this shit!
I never did get that two piece. Two one pieces instead. Fashion suits.
Such a ball. Where’s Raymbo?? Peace!
I love flowers.
How many hearts did I crush do you think?
Good to know!
So many desty(nation) weddings.
And bare bottoms.
Did you ever get on wifi?
Listening to Kokomo on the beach was mindblowing. The first word is ARUBA. Dad you must try it! Why were the B Boys so tropically obsessed? T-Birds, surfer girls, guys chill! Lol.
Baby got back!
So thirsty right meow. Vitamin water time ahhh.
I look cross-eyed here. You’d have to see it on the ol FBox though cos emailing from those d/l distorts and that’s the only way I get ma mom’s pictures. Nothing in life changes NOTHING. Lebowskis.
Colour everywhere it was intoxicating. Like being in a pop art candy land.
Our hotel.
Aloe Man.
Classic.
Mean mom would not give me these.
Venus from New York was a major sweetheart we befriended her.
On the way there shots are nice, smiles unforced.
I was trying hard to get Susanne mackin’ up on that couger eater. I thought the civilized chat was good enough. I’ll take what I can get. Damn straight I was the bad girl on the trip. Some stories go right in the vault and then blown up with waterproof dynamite at the bottom of the Caribbean. Part of Raymbecca’s gift is hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly accounts. Get a box of popcorn. Box? Cracker Jacks?
Rode a Seadoo like a muthaf-cka several times for free.
Holmes seen here def all about ‘dat.
The only time I was in the pool ever, first day then cashed out by the pool after coupla ‘daqs and a jerk wrap. The early flight and all night did me in. Black Car Club hooked us girls up large thank you v much. “Black Car Club sets the industry standard in luxurious, safe and convenient private transportation. With an impressive line-up of premium vehicles, we offer our clients an outstanding variety of transportation options.” What BALLERS ride in.
This view is imprinted permanently to my mind’s eye.
What a convenient hat to own. Lolo has been to Aruba 6 times now. Hit ten and become a citizen!
I spy Georgia.
I found these, I styled these blabbity blah me.
She’s a juicy girl. Clem and I always debated on the meaning of the term juicy. At like 4 in the morning wasted immaculate at the Central when you have no right to be engaging in differing opinionated warfare. Awesome times. I’m never wrong and he’s a lawyer AND thinks he’s smarter than me cos he’s asian and a man. And has way more money than me ahaha.
This thing is not owned by the hotel so swim to/climb/dive off at risk. It was rusty but totally solid take a relax pill resorts! I guess people kill themselves all over the stupid place.
Oh STFU Senor Frogs lol. So quirky. So drunk white american seducing. I went there one night and it was a wild time. Hot bathroom oh my god, and one only, Seriously one? I don’t remember anyone’s names of the people I met but it’s full of young dudes and they are all about older chicks. I was a freak of nature, in a good way.
In total I sloshed over: 3 drinks at dinner. First night seen here I was sleep-deprived delirious, like wobbly wavy Johnny Depp and probably drunk. It was really windy and both misfortunes weren’t 100% my blame but still I was mortified. The best one was the comped bellinis and the wobbly table at papillon, my mom was taking a picture of us and myspace styles and I knocked her flute down to the table in to smashed pieces of glory. Swish!
This was spectacular. No funny business no worries! The boat guys were my beach buddies after a time that was awesome relief and normal? Jamming on the boat and seadoo listening to skrillex and soca and getting splashed all to hell. This is the life for them every single day on the water. When a boat at my uncle’s yacht club blew up I was like dudes get-a listen at this. They did not care at all ahaha.
Mom has infinity embarrassing pictures of me I’ll eventually have to put her on payroll and get her a better camera. Viktor said I am like a Brazilian woman, asking for this, being direct. I said if you don’t ask how will you know to receive and he agreed. Viktor I am a size small and would love a new Benetton wardrobe. Viktor was also our friend & owner of Casa Tua, we ate there 3 times and it put me back to health each time. The pesto is the best I’ve ever had and I had it twice.
First dinner out on way, no wait, this was third one out. Eating proper dinner out every night is fun exciting and exhausting, getting ready for it while you’re beach strung out and two moms yammering away my mom yelling at me to hurry the F UP and me yelling back to chill cos I was catching up on work email that has to be addressed HAS TA! Next time if there is a next time I am bringing those headphones that they wore at the Indy.
Did I mention that this all went down in paradise? There is going to be a lot of posts on it I am sorry to break it to you which is cool because (you will have to wait to find out about that part).
The most I saw of these bros were around resorts, cos they’re big time mooches.
Romeo & Juliet vision.
There I go go.
Chill dude. lol.
We made parrot friends. Went back to visit the black swan again.
Night one Casa Tua.
Island life. <3
Such a small so very far away island. Another planet. It was amazing.
We are all gassed here. Viktor lubed us up thanks buddy!
