They call me smooth minx. Okay no they don’t.

The ending is awesome btw, I go upside down! FUN!!!!!!!!! More later bye!

• brass vixens,
• exercise,
• pole dancing

Here we go now smilers, happy Saturday. I am in writing skitchen all w/e long and going bizzoinkers. I’ve been really stressed out lately and busy, moving, unpacking, “recovering”, blabbity blah so I’m dipping in to the bloggy thing for a minute to recharge, get out some adrenaline/anxiety, catch you up on your fix ya junkies.

This was after dinner at Lee. I will get to that part. Of course every inch of the way was captured. Steve is going to roast me in form of guest blog post soon btw example: “Dating a blogger is very hard.” Oh shit.

Bradley Cooper ooh ooh.

Such a Jem pose, cheesy, don’t care.

I really love my Dear Frankie duds. I don’t even want to wear them I like them that much “special occasion purposes only” but I wore the bandeau bra out today while biking. I love fancy lingerie makes you feel more in control of your woman stuff, hotter, legit hot like a girl out of a cosmo spread having a pillow fight with her perfect model boyfriend whee thanks DF.

There we go that’s fun.

Here I am like oh look and then we will put MY brand on THEIR brand and then we will be billionaires. Basically.

Dinner baby and boy was I ever a baby. Steve got us a bit tips before we got there, and long story short I was like I have to eat now we have to leave now like when dudes are hungry how they get super moody lets not talk until the food gets here nuts, that was me plus worky things and just non-stop interruptions. When you change your life and dump it on its head everybody wants to talk to you about it and then you re-form bonds here and there, things generally get busier, you are gossipping your balls off 24/7 plus your events and typical city girl worries that seem to take up a lot of time/headspace/omfg lets eat or I am going to put on a straightjacket. The shorter version of all that simply, “was I ever a baby” but it was alright no biggie, kind of indulgent to cry in restaurants. I’m a fan.

What’s up guys.

Mini hamburgers and hot dogs “that is what”.

Einstein is spinning in his grave.

SWOON. I want the Dear Frankie dress for around the house now please!! The spanxy thong will come in handy for all the cake I’ll be eating over the next 3 days lol.

The tables at Lee I love. I’ve only been once before and I think I felt like I really had to explain in minute detail why it was okay to annex the place back from the one previous experience I had dining there.

Which is how we select where we eat and habit, based on past dates, good experiences, never been there before and if so was it just a platonic thing, was she a tramp, how crazy was she and how did it end we are hilarious. Then we tell the story and then make it so that person is as disgusting as possible compared to you THEREFORE you are the winner the end lets get a bottle of wine glug glug glug.

You best balee that shit was romantic.

I was worried he wouldn’t be able to do the slaw but he could would and did, loved it.

They mash it all up for you, it’s delish. I love cilantro. Lots of dudes hate cilantro. Massive eye roll. It tastes so fresh like freedom, you don’t like freedom? Cool.

The spicy tofu, meh. Well yeah alright but I’m like bean curd why bother why not filling it with something actually delicious like not bean curd.

I had two and made him have four. He’s picky but then he eats weird things stop fucking with meeeeeee! LOL. ILU. So much!! Your iphone alarm clock is playing bongos right now what are you a drum circle omg wake up.

Love the table so much. I love lamp.

If you make a big deal about taking my picture this is the face you get. And if I ask you to do it again, do it again. #diva. Everything was pissing me off. Ps. chopstick skills? That’s right bitch.

These jerk pork ribs weren’t pissing off I’ll tell you that.

The diver scallops were aiight, delicious, but I was getting full because I hadn’t eaten really that day and if you wait too long you make the dude eat the rest.

Speaking of, look at my slice of heaven.

Wearing that vest too ah ma fricking god I am going to go snorgle the crap out of that right now to be continued bye bon weekend.

Steve said I looked gangster with my little yellow neon band-aid.

So then I punctured my heel in to some styrofoam street garbage to manipulate him in to thinking I was adorable. Worked. I should write my own “The Game” right? He has a copy of course, he’s mad I want to read it over the wizardy one he went out of his way to buy me before Aruba lol. I am not a wizard, I may play one in real life but I like assholery in literature, I like pieces of shit jerkoffs I will leave the nice guy stuff up to Steve.

I noticed my two favourite fluorescent colours on these pipes and said we must turn back.

Worth it.

Heheh.

We had a good night.

This post licked sorry, weekends are a write-off.

Hope you’re having a good summer. I’m off for a stroll with the man and some grub then some pole dancing, awooooooo!

On Sunday bloody Sunday the girls plus Steve and maybe Craig will be turning in to Magic Mikes at Brass Vixens Studio on Queen which is so conveniently located btw I love making new Queen west merchant friends I can visit when out on a run and colleague says if I start going there regularly I’ll get insanely wicked abs. SOLD.

Me talking to Nicole, she showed me this mermaid-themed party poster for an event also under the sea themed and I was like did we miss fake prom already? She said we haven’t who’s to know? The facebook event page there’s a clue Einstein. How much do you want a tutu? I have two of them I’ll bring Sunday. We have one hour for a private party for Jules. She’s leaving us for SF also it’s her 21st birthday too! Can you say RAGER!? Even though I am all raged out I will live to rage another day.

This chick does this twice a week for her exercise, how fun. No kids. The other woman on the other hand has three boys and I asked if they’d seen that viral drawing of the pole dancer a child drew but was actually of the mother selling a shovel and people throwing money at her cos there was a blizzard AGahahahha so the mom had to write a note that she was not actually a stripper? Yes they’d seen it lol. And another one of those this is my life moments goes by folks.

This kid is remarkable and now, infamous. You know that’s my bag. Okay I will stop emphasizing with all these italics. We watched a bit of Bob Saget the nasty show? What is it called? It seems ultra current too cos he made some current events references that I have absolutely no recollection of I will have to check in with my couch co-pilot on that later. Here read blog, edit all my mistakes and lies please thanks. Anyway I mention it because he seemed a little erratic and too real for tv, manic. Yeah that’s it. Obviously I am projecting here.

Nice work. Moving on.

Next time I will select the Ladies option for this mug shot if in NYC during the 1800’s I was a criminal. Merkley can you help me get my LA County drunk tank mugshot please thanks, I want to put it on a t-shirt like you have yours. Maybe they incinerated it because I looked like this, totally:

(more…)

We decided we have to put more expensive things inside these. Gold chains! Russell Oliver help! I made another flower one last night in like 4 seconds ahaha j/k. I made one though, but it was in like 4 minutes.

I think next will be a garden skull head. Yop you betcha.

Someone got upset about this photo yesterday. I am going to have to think about this whole nudity private vs public thing maybe eventually soon. I dunno, I kind of always do whatever I want to do and the more people opposition it, the more I do it but now I am thinking for two people here BUT I am the boss of me. Right? Plus I write for Playboy now so. Also it’s just underwear. And I have an upcoming photoshoot scheduled (not for a spread fyi) and I might be in skivvies for that too, maybe I am trying to milk my Raymi the Minxing for as long as I can. Maybe I’ll be like Jessica Tandy nude in her 80’s in one of her last movies. I worry for today mostly and deal with tomorrow’s consequences never if I can help it. I know that jealousy and possession in relationships is a slippery slope that goes both ways and can get maybe hypocritical if a balance is not carefully maintained aka skanks be creeping ma man at all hours/times IRL so what does it matter if I post a pic in my underoos, case closed!

why didn’t we take some of these coasters??

And now counter point, I DO know that when I showed my blog to relatives (his) or maybe some stuffy aristocrat bougy whatever le fuck I’d put my hand up to cover the more provocative photos of myself so if I wasn’t ashamed of that why did I do that then? Am I changing my minx stripes? C’est possible? How about this, I am proud of my body. I am not “a skank” and I don’t have the money shot up on there which is where I draw the line, any shadows in our lower bits are not for sharing.

Weirdest/best television hug ever. If you’re a new Little Raymi, then you won’t know how much of a Big Brother fan I am, particularly, Big Brother UK. I stopped watching it this summer halfway through the series but watched the finale the other night because I had to see who won. The game is so grueling and the stress, bullying, co-dependency, loneliness, boredom, blabbity blah so I fully understand why this hug IS this hug and I love it and I also love that these two bros made it to final two and that Luke A. won (white guy) was actually born a woman and had gender-reassignment, Boom! Truth. I would have been totally fine with Adam also winning but we knew he wouldn’t. You can kinda tell who is going to win Big Brother about 1/2 way through the show, based on how the public votes. Deana, Miss India (no for real she was crowned Miss India and I was rooting for her major) made it to top 3. She was most bullied and it was tough to watch and I think she might secretly be on anti-depressants based on her sluggishness and general malaise but everyone else were horrid. Don’t get me started. Lauren was another awesome chick in there and bullied like crazy cos of how cute she is, Luke S. def shoulda made a harder play for her and his dismal attempt at the get-go was seen by Ashleigh (the barf face) who thusly lead the witch hunt bullying of Lauren, way to go Lushleigh (that’s Luke and Ashleigh’s nickname they were the showmance duo of Big Brother and in no way does Luke actually like her) and now you see why I had to stop watching it there’s like 3 episodes a day to watch that go up in between all my party and hangover schedules and falling in love no time no time! BUT Celeb Big Brother UK debuted last night so I’ll see what the cast is like and report back on it for you. I figure I should watch it since I am trying out for Big Brother Canada. I have a feeling our version will be modeled after the USA show which sucks in comparison to UK BB IMO but I know how those western bullies operate from watching a few season’s worth back in the day I’m all set so BRING IT ON. Ps. I loved Sarah too and her love and devout devotion to the Royals plus her lust for Meatloaf. This chick is an eleven and she wants Meatloaf, the guy not the loaf who just so happens to also be, a loaf.

Do you have to make me jealous via t-shirt now too? (I think this shirt is hot btw). Why do guys wear shirts with whores on them lol just kidding. Like hi okay you like boning chicks good for you clap clap. And I can’t blog my butt pics? Also you put your hands in women’s gorgeous rich lady manes all the time and I don’t care. The scores of thousands of men and women who look at me I will never meet or touch. Modern Love in the digital world eh.

I prefer a can’t beat ‘em join ‘em approach. Which drives men INSANE. I am probably going to get in trubs for writing some of this but I don’t know I am in a relationship now “a real one” “the one” so I don’t know what I am supposed to do or how to act or what the blog boundaries are set at I just go as hard as I can until I am done pushing my luck. It’s about compromise. Fairness and loyalty. It is my goal to get my entire wedding sponsored like Xiaxue did. Or explode trying. Steve‘s the one who’s going to be the Bridezilla actually (that’s the new joke I’ve been making lately from all the wedding films I am now allowed to watch because I won’t have to kill myself from envy) you should hear him on the phone or talking about the tuxedo for his dad and wedding dinner rehearsal stuff it’s truly adorabz he is quite a meticulously detailed guy it motivates me to keep a little more on top of things. I guess we are like Dharma & Greg meets Jessica & Lache or choose your own favourite non-despised tv couple you enjoy.

I keep getting interrupted for this post today and I have a deadline to meet still and an event to prepare for urgle burgle. This photo isn’t even very good. Plus I just messed up the template, but then I fixed it. Then I talked to my website guys about my stats and other businessy type stuff. Running (ruining)(lol) your own Empire is overwhelming and fatiguing.

Then life plunks a message down on my head. We watch bootleg movies now It’s like fast-tracking your existence. Dig it man.

I like when I look like Xena warrior in the hair and in the face. I live like a cavewoman anyway, analyze statement at will.

V. impressed with this one. It’s super heavy too.

It was kind of hot to watch him work.

He said he’d never had so much fun.

Ran out of time Lebowskis be grateful for what you get, I tried (barely). Have a great night. ps. LIKE MY PICS PLEASE Hover and click ‘LIKE’ thank you so much IOU one sometime! Just ask. xo rlw.

• big brother,
• big brother canada,
• big brother uk,
• crystal head vodka

So many photos, so many things have been up to, so much overkill. I have various things uploaded that I can’t conceivably mentally move passed and get some “real” work done until I blob all that shit so that’s what we’re gonna do today. Hold my hand tight!

Fun times at the back of the bus WOULD be hype if it didn’t secretly smell like pee (you keep that factoid secret or it will spread) and if we weren’t the last ones on the bus, whatever man I am not a morning person, accept that. Do you have any idea how long it takes to fill in the French Canadian bags under my eyes? Why do you think I wear nerd glasses, for fun? Fuck fun, I am old bitch.

Sorry to interrupt but look how pretty this is.

He met me with ponytails in. They were deal makers. Curling my hair makes them more his.

All the girls said what a perfect dress to wear to wine tasting. The perfectest like insisted 1000% that I had severely thought this through and mega-nailed it. Actually was freaking out over WHAT to wear that morning. I was like geez guys thanks I am over this dress so it’s nice to have people gush over it so much I got it from that goth store on Queen where I got my monster ‘kini. Steve and I were like little imps dotting people’s winovisions we were cooed and “awww’d” at all day long it was intoxicating, we had a dreamy ass time I haven’t even had time to take it in life moves so fast.

Thank god for photos. I feel like taking a week long nap though.

It’s your parents in the future past what? I like how this photo already looks vintage from my outfit and the bridge, streetcar. Good one Toronto. One thing that is disturbing and psychotic is the in-flux of trolls trollin’ me now, like if it was ever more apparent that there are bitter people out there go get happy and see them try to take you down or some of your light. It’s interesting being a science experiment for over a decade, in a blink of an eye all the time went by but it still sort of feels like day one. I like that.

Gettin’ psyched eatin’ snacks makin’ tracks. You must all be driven to the winery so you can all get pissed. I was so happy Stevesy wouldn’t have to drive, see Lohan it’s possible to NOT drive waste-casted all the time girl especially when you have enough money for drivers. But holy sheesh is he ever hot, date night tonight has been upgraded to Date Rape night.

When your gf wears a picnic dress everywhere is a picnic.

And here are some Mystery Camera™ pics of Aruba that I uploaded last week then got ADD. The two times my blog crashed last week put me behind schedule a little. You must keep pace with the events of your life in blogging or you turn in to Lloyd Christmas. Dumb AND dumber.

I’m a blond peach fuzzed tanned little monkey, or I was before I came back and went on date night every single second I was home (the food poisoning lean out diet has come to a close, sadly).

Freckly.

On the phone with Steve. We talk on the phone all day long in Toronto but over there you don’t get to see each other at the end of the day. We said the most insane things to each other, it was very oldschool letter jacket cry baby styles. I think by day 5 he super cracked and was like that is enough just please come home it broke my heart and made me feel so strong at the same time, untouchable and brave like I had this little secret gift with me the whole time that shielded me from nine thousand beach weddings like really come on! It was fabulousadness but then time goes by fast on vacay before you know it and then you miss it like crazy and now he thinks he gets a week vacation to even the score (nice try this was planned before I knew you bro lol) but he said he wouldn’t want to go away without me anyway so in October we’ll go away somewhere which will be good because I will probably be suicidal when fall is over. Just kidding there is too much to live for.

My nails grew because I left them manky like that all week long, they got tougher and I put top coat on them every two days like mom said.

Where the lights end so does the island.

The dark parts is just grass outback, kind of eerie. I went out to one and took pictures of the hotels and the windmill, an after hours compound pretty insane and fun nightlife. You can smoke in clubs which repulsed me.

Before or after crying my brains out on the phone to Steve, I cracked day 3 or whatever night Pago Pago VIP dinner was. He actually cracked when I said goodbye to him before I left and wrote me a note to read at the airport which I did while shivering in line from sleep deprivation and Lois read along with me I was set to embark on one wild adventure oh my dear I just got chills recalling that moment!

But bawling on the phone to Steve got me brownie points. We are in a saying the most sucky insecure things to one another contest like I like it when you fall apart for me type shit ahaha this is true love it is the greatest feeling in the history of the world.

Our little nook, The Westin was aiight I’d say. Great peeps. Too bad I didn’t do the magic show because that guy talked s about my blog (that was linked in the New York Times 3 times last week for being an Aruba investigatory journalist, mhmmm) I bet he regrets that but I hope he still edits my interview with him and uses it anyway and if he doesn’t, oh well. Lois lipped him off good though, they waited until after dinner to tell me what he said because they feared hurricane Raymi would hit. Lolo and I were walking up to a casino when she broke the news, it was a good story. I think the magic guy is just exhausted from being a magic guy 7 days a week he was also mad that we didn’t come that night like we said we would and was looking for me in the audience to saw me in half or levitate me hahaha my life rules but anyway we are on vacation bro, we had to go dancing. We had late dinners each night (so fun). Woulda been epic blog material though.

Skull pics now. These rose petals have turn to rust so I dunno, we might re-do it.

So many pics of these i cannot tell the difference from them anymore it is also adding to the cray once I get through a few of these I’ll have the ones I took last night, but only a few. I dunno why but I love hoarding pictures these days I have so many awesome sharesies but no energy, now about that nap. Or spa. Yes, spa please.

They are beautiful and so fun to shake up. Crystal Head vodka is sending us something in the mail, they won’t say what but omfg if it’s more skulls I will just die.

This “my junk” one’s purpose is for the ultra Little Raymi superfan. Its contents are that of my life collections of jewelry and trinkets, misc. crap and doo-dads you can just dump it all out and sort through, add to your shrines whatever. If it looks like shit when I fill it entirely I’ll just dump and chuck that crap out. Some good swarovski bracelets and things you can re-purpose I dunno! Dad I need some of your mini train people!

I always add something worthwhile to each one so that a dope won’t be like omg “SO uninspired” (jeals troll FTL). These are made with love, the claydoh one is like ten pounds now, they’re all one-of-a-kind AND actually thought-through. The candle wax one is looking amazing. And I can’t wait to develop a lighting concept for the light one, maybe I can get TPL to hook it up, CN Tower light! I’m not going to share the other ideas I have written down so I don’t blow the whole exhibition before it happens. Mr. Bates has a Skull for donation and for dranking for me also a birthday present too so we will go have a vespa ride and see him soon now that he’s retired he must be going bored mental. If you want to donate an empty skull for the cause and fill it yourself and be part of our exhibit, let me know. I have a feeling it is going to be “mad” “hype” and get some international press.

Someone’s nickname is Loverboy, I made it in to a necklace. He gave that to me originally for my key chain. I added my ribcage accoutrement to it that I never got to wear because Noah broke that necklace the first time I ever wore it out. Brian bought it for me my friend in SD who I never got to meet because he pussed out and I was hung and tired that night and just stayed in my Hard Rock Hotel room solo. That trip ruled. Ford sponsored me and I had no problem ordering room service or charging everything to my room (save for my gifts for family I paid for those) drinks by the pool and dinner one night with Sarah. Anyway that is the story of this necklace. And now here are two videos I’m going to end this post now.

Love this song. Last night it was just us two at the Cube Katwalk thing-a-ling. It was FCUK. Good time, early night. There at least. We stayed up til five watching a movie and making more skulls and hanging on the couch. Our love adrenaline keeps us awake, it’s not good but we can’t help it.

And here I am waiting for colleague with the person I had a meeting with yesterday.

Then I got my sexy on. More on that later. Stay tuned! (I’m actually doing a move here, a twist).

• aruba

We love my new hair colour. It happened so fast I forgot he even dyed it.

Stevesy really wanted to go to Honest Ed’s (honestly) all he said he wanted to do this summer was be a tourist in his own city and as luck would have it this waste of space is Queen of TDot happenings and cheap thrills. We also wanted to get skull head supplies.

This strawberry skull reminds me of the red/green gas mask Joker whips out in the Batman from ’91, I like how the green wrapping lined up randomly accidentally on the one side of the skull face and red lined up on the other. Good one me. If you try hard in art it falls apart.

Barbie skull was fun to make, quite therapeutic and it’s fun to shake up and get really particular about. Squeezing the heads through was a bit of a chore but awesome for rageahol. I wanted to layer the pearls and the limbs and that I did.

Fun shit. Steve is on his way back and we’re going to work on a flower skull (we never got around to that one lol) and his plasticine one that I will get jealous of I bet and try to dictate. Maybe I should light the candles to get the wax melting for the wax filled one. It’s like PeeWee’s playhouse forever in here. Throw on the Lorax too for good measure ahaha. Like I seriously feel insane from the joy my life now is, it’s raining awesome.

Here lemme rain some down on you.

I stuffed just one of the torsos inside, plus two legs. I mangled one leg at the thigh and twisted it around like a spiral and popped it in but then the foot stuck out while I was trying to pour pearls in and they went everywhere. It’s funny when I fill them cos I always get shit everywhere. This time I could do it in privacy. There are jewels and crystals and pearls and candy hearts hidden in every corner lol.

Aw Steve just came back and said how much of an artist I was. I will spare you the rest of the googoogaga details.

Shoulda gave her earrings. Meh.

RIGHT!!!

ps what!? YES! And more of it too.

I love this guy’s work so much. Party tunes we throw on all the time.

Goodbye ol bluey.

(more…)

Hi sports fans! Your hero reporting live from the wine barrel bunker of vineyard estastes. I took baby out on a VIP Vineland country wine tour yesterday in Niagara “NBD” (no big deal dad) Thank you so much iYellow Wine Club! <3 Much more to share later with you. We hit three wineries and had a smashing posh good lovebird time. Here's some random pics from oh so many that I'll sprinkle out when I get time to, there is never any time. Never enough. It's Steve's day off today (every Monday) and he's dying my hair right now as I type this aww right!!? Totally. Okay lets go follow me.

Hey what is this is? (Cheech voice lol). We goofed around like cray all day what can I say that’s how we play.

I like that they put a chandelier down there, so, necessary? Hey man at the end of the world why not spoil ourselves right?

He pulled the rubber stops out like, oh my god dude you’ll get us in trubs (that’s so hot do it again ahahaehehehe).

Tres joli. What does that mean I don’t care I turned my brain off for the summer.

He curled my hair yesterday. My hair length is at that horrible mid-range point of too short and too long. It needs to have things done to it to make me not feel like the Ramones. Head bling and ponytails. It’s a lot healthier though now thanks to Stevesy. Go try him out in the salon I’ll let him put his hands on you no problem.

I ain’t threatened he only has eyes for this cow. Moo.

This is at Chateau des charms.

Steve’s ma is all about this winery. We got her a bottle. I am going to make some damn fine first impression I hope I think. Gulp. I will meet the entire family at the wedding rehearsal dinner. I hope I am nothing like Julia Roberts in my best friend’s wedding or Gaylord Focker. All women in rom coms are portrayed as annoying idiots. Maybe I will just be myself. A cliff’s notes version.

Ainsley and Jenn. Oh no doubt some it girl influencers were on the scene. Thanks again Angela for the invite I am very happy to see you living your dream (we met years ago at a supper club Gillian was running) of wine scenery.

We plucked some grapes for Bech from the last winery we went to, the organic one.

Turns out it is possible to drink wine all day, professionally, functioningly. You just stand around the sample bar and pick the one you liked best. People watching is fun too of course, and ditching the tour at points to canoodle around the vineyard.

Matchy matchy you know that’s how I do.

Some fancy chicks were flipping out over Steve carrying my Gucci purse for me. He broke ten million hearts yesterday and made all the dudes look bad. He loves that purse, even if it was just four dollars and not actually Gucci but ESPECIALLY because it was four dollars and not actually Gucci but everyone thinks it is and there’s no other purse like it. I love vintage. I also “don’t care” and will wear/carry anything.

This is how we talk to each other too. It’s adorablah. I don’t care if it makes you puke or if you have an urge to write GAY on my facebook wall. Hater.

This wino-rey was fun times. We loved the lambs. Fed them plantains. Steve electrocuted himself twice. The second time on purpose.

That dog was a jerk. Barked at us. Lamb guard dog. Mmmm lamb. Someone on the bus said they raise the lambs, yes, for eating. All the girls went awwwwwww all sad and after waiting an expert comedienne appropriate amount of time I went BAAAAAAAH (like a sheep) like a laugh-baaah. Steve lost his mind laughing hahah s-heads. Okay I gotta go it’s hair wash time brb.

Errands to do now, I’ll blog again this evening when Steve does his hair shoot. See you around town mes amis. Guess where we’re going.