thanks for the jeans lise! fil loves them cos they make him think it’s the 90s (his favourite era) and when he’s blasted he comes over to me and says those jeans bring him back. ha ha.
the cork was a hit. oh yeah a champagne bottle exploded in my purse. luckily i bagged it three times. i got three steps out the door, one down the stairs and what sounded like a gun firing inside my purse went off. fuck. if you plan to shove a wine cork into a champagne bottle, don’t travel with it.
way to go brosz7.
wanted a photo for slob chic then was like there is nothing slob about brad. maybe the “accidental” untied shoelaces, but the shoes are too clean.
hung4lyfe.
too bad i didn’t take a pic of that cupcake explosion all over your face what i did. sorry! don’t dare me to do something also, don’t drop a cupcake on my purse if you don’t want a cupcake in the face/glasses.
PS. THAT MUST BE SUCH A STRETCH FOR YOU. OMG GAY GAY BUT I’M NOT GAY HOW DO I DO IT I REALLY DO NOT KNOW BUT I DO, I REALLY DO, IT’S LIKE MAGIC I MUST BE A WIZARD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I MIGHT BE HERMIONE GRANGER IN THOSE HARRY POTTER BOOKS YEAH I AM TOTALLY HER BECAUSE LIKE I MAKE STORIES ABOUT LESBIANS EVEN THOUGH I LIKE GUYS MAYBE I SHOULD BUY A WAND ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS TWO LESBIANS LESBIANING ALL THE TIME AND THEY KISSED EACH OTHER UNDER THEIR TOPS A LOT AND ONE DAY ANOTHER LESBIAN NOTICED THEY WERE LESBIANS AND SAID “HEY I AM A LESBIAN TOO LETS ALL BE LES-BE FRIENDS TOGETHER FOREVER” THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IT IS A MYSTERY TO BE CONTINUED…
how do you think women deal with this situation? it’s called toilet paper wad, make one, use it to lower/raise the seat you disgusting fucking monkey!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. lemme guess, you’re going to tell your kid about them one day too. you’re sick and stupid. “or to tell me they are OK” AND delusional.
how about feel grateful you got any thanks at all. you know how many taken for granted forgotten teachers there are? i can’t even remember the names of more than half of them. some people, the ability of grammar and punctuation, spelling, it’s just lost on them, and that’s that. it is beyond you.
OMFG LOOK OUT REBEL ON THE SCENE!
you’re scum. how is that even something to be proud of? a person went to the trouble of signing up for a service, lovingly selected films to watch, and you go and bung it all up for them. you’re a piece of shit.
cool story. cool parenting. cool life.
and the piece of shit award is now passed on to you. i am so incensed by this one i can’t even talk about it i just want to know where you live so i can punch your fucking lights out. have you any idea at all the suffering that goes along with bipolar disorder? you’re the sick one here.
i thinked you’re righted thered. see my point about spelling and grammar? anyway, i have zero attention span for close-minded people. BOOORING. next.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO START THEIR OWN BLOG CHRISTINA AGUILERA. not to be a psychic or anything but your next post secret will be I GET OFF WHEN I SEE MY POSTCARD ON POSTSECRET.COM followed by I LOVE THE ATTENTION RUSH I GET WHEN I SEE MY POSTCARD ON POSTSECRET.COM followed by FRANK WHY DIDN’T YOU SCAN IN MY POSTCARD LAST WEEK SOMETIMES I GET ANGRY AT YOU I DON’T KNOW WHY THOUGH LOL TTYL XOXO WINKY EMOTICON
it’s never too late to learn anything!
that’s because they drag it out over 4 hours of movie like come on already stop getting mislead and listening to stupid people and losing letters and being shy and barely making eye contact double speak tension holy fuck already will you omg they kissed YAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!! fap fap fap fap fap fap fap faaaaaap skeet skeet skeet skeet terlggusrhgosdvgdso;b! YES!
firstly, who is teaching sex-ed these days? why does more than half the population spell masturbation incorrectly? secondly, why isn’t anthony bourdain featured here, or ramsay, or jamie oliver? (NOT THAT I THINK ANY OF THOSE GUYS ARE HOT, FIL!) but why are you attracted to wieners and who are these wieners? aside from that glasses wiener, i am not familiar with any of these wieners and what’s with chicks being attracted to wieners? please explain. make a flow chart and use little words my brain is small because i am a woman.
and because you’re oh-such a desperately pretentious douchebag needing to remind everyone every chance you get that you finger banged a girl once because you are so fucking common and dull please don’t come to my party snoooooooooze. ps. she was faking it.
why play in to what the parents want right now and throw such a huge chunk of your life away? so stupid! have you got no other ideas for what to do with yourself? pathetic man. awesome, have kids too we know you will!
but they make everything so much safer.
this should be called passive aggressive secrets that are still secrets dot com. i do not “get” the mindset of one who takes their inability to make friends out on other people. you are the ultimate internet troll and you own one of those shirts that says I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY or HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE. no guy, it’s you, not them.
and what oh so meaningful vocation do you do? how about don’t talk about them period you little dink, talk about your own boring shit, oh that’s right, NO ONE CARES.
you can practice on me i LOVE making fun of white dudes, it’s my specialty! especially if they live in the annex or work on bay street. don’t be afraid of those cliche power silences either, don’t play into their controlling bullshit, own it. know at base, men of all race are similar, they are all irritating in the same way. just pretend he’s your boring uncle.
how did he react? who cares, don’t make a thing of it. now send one of your anoos!
well are they spelling masturbation right at least? wow you believe in logic even though you believe in a fairytale afterlife! WEEEEEEEIRD doo doo doo doo (twilight zone voice) stop the world we have a real maverick on our hands over heeyah!
trophy pride houses are never a good scene. why are the driveways always empty and the family never home? no one enjoys them ever. such a waste of money. the things you own end up owning you. thanks fight club.
thank you for setting up this IRONY attack you clever motherfucker you. someone said beneath this postcard “One week I missed church when I stopped to help a hurt cyclist.” FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE MUCH.
awesome and…does she know? are you gay? do you roleplay? are you weird TMI swingers? ugh talking about sex is boring.
no girl, listen, god doesn’t shape shift. that irritating loser is just wasted and thinks they’re really interesting. like me. but, if you want to think i am god, then go ahead let me get my money basket. WHERE DO ALL THESE STUPID PEOPLE LIVE??? Sarnia?
EWWWWWWwwwwwwwwww. What the fuck is this daddy warbucks shit? why are you calling him daddy still? when you learn how to print you are TOO OLD to refer to your father as daddy. that’s fucked up on both ends i don’t care what anybody says about it. if a dude’s teenager/adult daughter is calling him daddy he’s an egomaniac freak and probably perverted. sick. when a word crosses over into roleplay sex fantasy territory it is no longer innocent especially when you’re old enough to know it.
someone wrote this in response “Every year I send a Father’s Day card to Budweiser Brewing Company.” uhh what? why? does your dad work there? is your dad a case of beer? is your dad a perpetual drunk and thanks to budweiser he is able to open up to you? too vague.
you’re welcome for all my hard work on this canadian holiday xoxo.
fil didn’t want to deal with the short slutty skirt of casie’s when returning the movie so i changed into these guys. what a difference!
remedy town.
buzzed shopper’s discount rack attack! this stuff gives you a body heat rush for an hour and makes you itch if you’re lacking whatever properties are contained. iron? anyway, funny trick to play on someone. the first time i had one at lucasaid‘s i felt like a fucking volcano and when you scratch your arms you get hotter and hotter i dunno why during a heatwave it seemed like a good idea. we were bored. last nite i swear i could feel my leg hairs growing! the niacin was 2.49 from 12 bucks rush high high cheap thrilllls!
i’ll let you know how useful these aren’t when i try ‘em out. the chocolate was 79 cents (no sugar added, low carb) i am addicted to deals especially deals on things i don’t need (bipolar bipolar bipolar) and when we got home caught the episode of simpsons when marge breaks her leg goes to hospital so lisa is forced to take on home duties, sends homer out food shopping and he comes back with a cellphone filled with candy, caramel syrup and some other useless shit. i said hey is that how i shop!? fil was taking a sip of beer at the time and choke laughed YES. omg i love stupid shit so much i want to be tom hanks in BIG right now!
do you guys want to win a 12 pack of black oak beer? trying to think of the logistics here, i don’t want to mail it so you’d have to come and see me. or you could have a tour of the black oak brewery, take some friends and get wasted for the day. plus it’s right across the street from mimico jail – scary! anyway lemme know.
dad if you get a pool i will visit every week.
oh isn’t that nice.
ding dongs.
i love gator.
powerful jet by my feet tickles the soles and it’s a contest with yourself to see how long you can withstand it and you smile like an uncomfortable goon. then your feet go numb.
thanks dad!
the card stock is thicker than my last cards, love it. i left a pile at queen video yesterday fyi. who wants a few?
caribana.
are there beer gardens set up anywhere? i can’t see the fun in standing around unless you’re in the parade. ps. next year i want to be in the parade. talkin’ full on feathers sequins gems bikini everything, how do i do this and who’s with me? can we get a blogger float sponsored?
caribana rubberneckers.
on our way down university two dudes in a car beside us (clearly in town for caribana) were holding up a bottle of grey goose and waving it out the window to their friends in the car behind them. fil looked over and gave them “the nod” (wearing top gun glasses) then they go s’up. s’up man, s’up. i waved. wanted a picture so bad. i’ve never seen fil so cool before in my life hahahaha. 50% due goes to the subaru spoiler i’m certain.
if you know of a better clear mascara (for pool/beach days) do pass it on k. this stuff is ok but, not as great as stuff i used as a teenager (mom do you remember?) that lip gloss is fantastic though.
look at this goddamn purse! click on all the photos of it. swoon.
i have so much presence i get checked out from up on high, didn’t even wave.
a very natural stance.
friday’s dinner.
boiling rotisserie chicken carcass for soup stock.
gross i know sorry.
no fat, virtually no carbs smart guy.
ya oh hi wtf
pretty easy. takes a little longer than a minute and you shouldn’t wring out the towel very much.
that organics grocery store by queen video changed ownership so everything (aside from produce, meat and dairy) is 50% off!
yeah yeah me again.
50% off tastes delicious.
this is so easy to make.
EW did you find that in the forest!?
it’s like a pupae (don’t google that, trust me)(or do it whatever i just did).
take the gross out to the next level by adding light cream cheese. SICK.
can you imagine getting hit in the face with one of these?
despite lookin’ this way they are so clean, practically no slop spills or anything and if you prep a few of them they retain their heat all wrapped up like that.
and then because the time taken prepping each one then eating one or two (eating slower) you get full, lots of leftovers.
and there we go. told you i wouldn’t listen. the usual garbage will have to wait.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
Well at first it was 6.30 then I had to move to the couch cos of LOUD BREATHING then slept til 11.30ish
2. How do you like your steak?
used to be grey cos i didn’t know any better (thanks britain). now i like it on the redder side of medium, charred on the outside. how do you like your steak? Oh as pretentious as possible, thanks!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
don’t remember it’s been so long and we were likely (definitely) drinking wine during it. so i probably thought it was a good movie. it was probably a guy movie.
4. What are your favorite TV shows?
LOST, usa/can’s next top model, ramsay’s kitchen nightmares, hell’s kitchen, everybody loves raymond (getting fil into it too!) any and all shows involving little people, morbidly obese, addictions, obsessions, fighting, swearing and crying. that wipe out show. oh and to serve & protect, canada’s ever classy version of cops (watch it sunday nites at 11 on sun tv)(i have a lot of spare time).
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
ireland, countryside, quaint cottage on loads of land or here:
6. What did you have for breakfast?
espresso and i’m still working on it now.
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
thai/indian
8. What foods do you dislike?
i don’t think i have any food hang-ups anymore. so i guess i like ‘em all. aside from fast food, that should be considered a “foods” seeing as it is poisoning the human race and giving birth to some of my most favoured shows see 4.
9. Favorite Place to Eat?
bar mercurio (best beef carpaccio hands down) the drake, spadina garden, green room (despite every single let down i always go back for more) and supermarket, though i liked mini market better, they blew it in letting that little gem go.
10. Favorite dressing?
fil’s homemade caesar. or the dressing on the prosciutto salad at beaver, another fave place to eat.
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
late 50s roadster bike from eaton’s and one other thing i drive is fil’s mind! WILD!
12. What are your favorite clothes?
anything that makes me feel and look skinny and maybe a little accidental slutty. something that doesn’t make me sweat or show how much i sweat.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
the setting of casino royale holy look at photos of that place! OR bruges, belgium thanks to another fine flick in bruges. gorgeous.
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
can’t say either cos i know it’s both. realists are SO annoying i know.
15. Where would you want to retire?
ireland – though realistically it’ll be cottage country or who knows maybe we’ll be one of those squirly weird white couples (already are) living in the annex forever gettin’ annoyed at shit.
16. Favorite time of day?
right after a nice big no.02! or right before fil comes home when anything is possible (for the nite). that’s cid’s favourite time of day too.
17. Where were you born?
oakvegas
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
NONE I WAS JUST FAKING IT! but i’ll come along for the good times though. i think you mean what is your favourite sport to TALK OVER?
19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
WHO CARES.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
what is this highschool? shut up! obviously someone who hasn’t done this thing yet.
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
omg zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
22. Bird watcher?
yeah sure why not
23. Are you a morning person or a night person
nocturnal, so am.
24. Do you have any pets?
cat, who evidently is also “my son” and i’m proud to say i have never cleaned his litter box, not once. so really, he doesn’t belong to me i am absolved of all responsibilities. i consider my dad’s cat to be mine too, me and ol rocky shared some good emo times together awhile back.
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
might go swimming later in a coffin-shaped pool? it finally stopped raining? picking up my new adorable business cards later on? i took a fantastic crap today? yeah, that’s probably the one right there.
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
super fucking rich and famous and teacher as a fall back. writer too.
27. What is your best childhood memory?
waterslide with my brother at wasaga beach. summers at sauble beach. because my brother was forced to hang out with me hahaha. looking for grunge clothes at the patch in sauble beach. my dad letting us drive (steer) the car on the beach sitting in his lap. here is a journal entry from 1994 my dad wrote in my journal of a week at sauble beach. it’s pretty funny. also because he wrote it from my perspective ha.
28. Are you a cat or dog person?
both. though probably too lazy to own a dog. cats are easier, they pretty much just raise themselves.
29. Are you married?
engaged, finally. AM I RIGHT LADIES! hahahaha
30. Always wear your seat belt?
YES
31. Been in a car accident?
yes in florida and i wasn’t wearing my seat belt because i was wearing only a bathingsuit and the rental car buckles (metal) were on fucking fire from the sun, burnt my leg – we got rear-ended and i flew out of my seat into the back of the passenger seat. i was fine though. my mom was hysterical. i was playing with a baby my little pony doll at the time and was 3. GOOD TIMES.
32. Any pet peeves?
people who chew their gum with their mouths open, or anything with their mouths open, drive me bananas. passive aggression. people who don’t get it. people who talk shit about me behind my back so basically, everyone.
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
bacon
34. Favorite Flower?
the ones kurt chose for unplugged live in new york. also because my grandma took me to a flower convention when i was 13 funeral flowers, basically. these things:
35. Favorite ice cream?
it’s no longer in existence, it was by parlour ice cream, vanilla/rich chocolate medley. the chocolate part of which essentially tasted like Quik. mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
lick’s and in secret taco bell.
37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
never took it!
38. From whom did you get your last email?
leslie
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
i don’t have a credit card but if so – urban outfitters
40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
no, i am predictable in my habits though to normies my life is spontaneous, hopefully?
41. Like your job?
what’s a job?
42. Broccoli?
yes
43. What was your favorite vacation?
i liked mexico but i spent it with the wrong person. i liked how skinny i got from the water (oops) and tanned and i spent it fantasizing about fil – when i got back that summer was pretty decent, albeit a little sketchy. i also loved new orleans.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
fil. ferret & firkin. BLECH!
45. What are you listening to right now?
someone mowing a lawn far off, a car drive by, birds chirping, city noises.
you can see my scar from stitches in this photo. when i was 7 i got this weird rare disease called Henoch–Schönlein purpura and they took a skin sample to test. i had a huge scarlet/purple rash all down my thigh. oh great now i’m freaked out from reading about it as i get abdominal pain constantly. GREAT SOMETHING NEW TO WORRY ABOUT! Most cases are self-limiting and require no treatment apart from symptom control, but the disease may relapse in a third of the cases and cause irreversible kidney damage in about one in a hundred cases.
I was going for that britney spears jessica simpson photo (that i can’t find)(because it wasn’t her who posed with a swiffer duh) but someone wanted in on it. the same someone who smashed an entire bottle of Wyborowa. she’s cute so we didn’t mind. plus there was another bottle.
pre-drink club pose!
i started out in this shirt but then i didn’t feel slutty or special enough so i changed. wait’ll you see the skirt i borrowed off casie.
remind us never to eat at the ferret & firkin ever again. overpriced lame food. we never learn. the sliders weren’t bad really, just wickedly underwhelming. fil’s chicken sandwich blew.
ROCK SOLID HEART TOUCHING!
then i followed your parents around for a while.
power walking matching outfits! i had to jog to keep pace with them.
so glad i threw that hat in my purse on the way out the door. cosmic.
also if you buy two bottles of wine from winerack YOU GET A STUPID FAKE CRYSTAL WINE BOTTLE FLOWER YAY! you’re welcome! it comes in different colours! your life is awesome now thanks to me. you’re welcome again! sorry for yelling! no i’m not! BYE!
