camera interlude. rogue personae here. you better hang on tight. renegade big mouth. big shot. laid the eff out. so hung. had an amazing dinner last nite, a super good time, didn’t even feel like work at all. internal beaming. my dinner guest was very, overwhelmed? happy? impressed. extremely. we were treated like royalty.
my boss at the hardware store used to mind fuck me around a lot. we always tore each other to pieces. total carving, non-stop. which is why i love joe jobs, blue collar salt of the earth tells it likes he sees it guys. anyway he tried to tell me that one of my eyes was higher than the other. look how wild eyed my eyeballs are. wonky eye.
i am good looking in this effect. you can be my pen pal from far away and i will only talk to you in pictures like this so you can pretend this is what i look like always and i will not burst your lust bubble.
rob can you roast me at my party? am i too sensitive for that? probably. don’t want to jinx it, practically official by now but anyway i got appleton rum setting up a rum station at my party so i guess it’s a rasta theme jam now. maybe my dad’s band can do reggae beatles. you better not make any plans for the day after because i think you might be in a time warp of rum madness come friday morning. good luck there budday.
a really shitty obnoxious pretentious drawer did this. i really hate talent wasters. i mean come on, my drawing skills a five year old could contend with. i’ve met and know several phenomenal artists with sketchbooks filled page after page front to end amazing paintings, drawings, and do they ever have a show or sell any of it?
that thing on the wall that looks like a robot face is the inner container of something one of us received in the mail, packaging. i hilariously quipped that it was a face, we wore it on our heads like a mask, i think we were high or wasted, both, the next day it’s on our wall. family meeting minutes went out and the house ghost decided it was worthy of wall hanging or it’s a drunk joke with a punchline nowhere in sight.
3/4 face is lying somewhat. this is how beautiful i am from this angle only you may only look at me from above or three quarters of my face from either side of nose.
well i guess i could get a white thermal outfit and wear this for halloween. hmm. settled? too boring and easy? what should i be? i have a platinum wig for someone who wants to go as a raymi for halloween. it’s exactly like my hair is now how retarded is that? i bought it when my hair was long and black.
gym rat. front desk girl was awed by my hair. i seriously go in there looking like hell. i’m gonna sweat anyway so why do myself up? once in awhile i’ll give in and fix my face. this was one of those days and to top it off i have fancy hair.
this chick hates me too cos i picked up a dude from the gym she went out with for a drink once and he wasn’t feeling her. the other desk girl told her for sure. she’s been icy to me ever since but she has to be nice cos i’m a member bahaha. i sense it right beneath the surface her contempt for me and then she scans my card and my beaming phony blond pearly whites smile confronts her from the computer screen.
dress for the position in society you want to be, not what you are. sass said that. so, i guess i have to always dress like hello kitty cos that’s what i want to be.
you’re welcome it was ugly anyway. i am punk rock. maybe if i could feel my extremities it wouldn’t have happened. they were really nice about it. don’t get me cocked on 55 year old rum next time maybe?
already miss the other one badly. i’ll get it back though. there is just something about tiny point and shoots that relax you. you get more photos too cos they’re so compact.
i can only wear this shirt fresh out of the dryer it’s pretty open. remember when everyone was wearing down to their navel shirts? aw poor tan lines fading.
you have no idea how amazing it feels to be able to walk around the corner to a salon and have them do your roots whenever you want. i get my roots done obsessively now. Redd is going to back my party too. setting up a station for crazy marie antoinette updos. i will have my hair ridiculous for the night. tracey brought out all these extensions and crazy weaves, braided and crimped. gothic vampire antoinette.
dom pare will be hosting/MCing the evening so i don’t have to jump through a window and run away down the street hysterically. many other surprises lined up too. will blab later when shit gets more official.
realised have to start hiding hands in photos or do stuff with them otherwise it’s all retard claw grasping air. i am autistic somewhat. i wish i was joking.
nice date outfit. peh. i just accidentally deleted pictures from spice route before uploading them cos i was too busy talking to melodie and testing out some new weed. whoops. so you miss out on some shitty mysterious dark restaurant scene shots. you’ll survive.
someone asked if i tipped all my servers and sponsorhips whatever free shit that gets rained down on me. yes, see those twenties (and my makeup q tips), bitch? i am a lady with class and manners.
not a bad job. this other colour i did before had a crazy weird effect when it dried, flat metallic red. too dark and witchy. i try to keep it princess. this camera is not very good with macro.
giving up in life outfit i showed up there looking like i crawled out of the garbage. thermal pants, no underwear, unshowered, ratty crispy knotty hair and the roots just make it even worse.
still i got checked out like mad. why do you get checked out when you look like your version of crap meanwhile dudes fall from powerlines and get in fender benders. i will never understand men.
when i leave redd with my new hair i have to put on sunglasses to be incognito cos all the staring makes me too shy and nervous. no one is expecting marilyn monroe bombshell hair at that hour of the day at king and dufferin. popped through liberty village to make sure my bike wasn’t stolen (it wasn’t).
i went to globe bistro last nite to wine dine and 69 myself. how annoying would it be if i said “it’s a living” in that shitty way? what’s the stupid blog movie about cooking? did it flop? my blog movie would be me in restaurants being snarky. snoozefest. actually i bet you could make an epic stoner foodie movie, or eating show for stoners. it doesn’t matter what you see on tv that gets you going cos whatever’s in your kitchen is all you got to work with and i highly doubt you’ve got smoked elk marinating. nice try though.
this place is gorgeous and expansive. it actually used to be a bowling alley and has the longest length dining footprint on the danforth. they are winning.
a delicious surprise amuse bouche of elk tartar. it was amusing. some of its jokes fell flat though. i really enjoy pompous little treats. stick a bunch of warm meat on a potato chip, can’t really muck that up can you?
i chose the terrine for my appetizer. it’s like that scene in dirty rotten scoundrels when steve martin orders everything and two beers. i never eat foie gras or other obnoxious shit in the real world so i make up for that, feel guilted, then i choose fish for my main.
i am practicing for my courtney love halloween costume. ugh hair. getting roots did the second i hit publish. came straight from burlington to the restaurant. sorry i have city engagements i have to go eat dinner. what a prat, eh? hahahha righteous.
so delicious. massive tease. they sure know what they’re doing with those little amuse bouches. i think it’s amusing because i picture the cook with stacks of dirty pots and mixing bowls and a completely mental cooking vortex all for this tiny little thing. SO much pressure it cannot be a failure. it must be perfect. you get one chance ONE CHANCE only. maybe a little stressful. yeah i know they taste everything and sample it all first but still i like to pretend all that work and effort just for me and my little potato chip and i feel like a giant.
the oldest man in the world was sitting over there. when i’m that old i hope to still be flossing it in linen service fashion instead of swiss chalet fashion.
foie gras terrine i should stop ordering this. i am trying a no dairy gluten free diet because i am an idiot and always need to be doing something so the choices on the menu for what i could eat were like lard stuffed in lard or gluten everything.
was talked into trying one of the stuffed tortellini (Pork Brawn Tortellini – $11.00 – Black radish, radish sprouts, fennel pollen broth, Monteforte Toscano) and then my stomach began to cramp so i think i have an allergy to pasta or whatever that is, melodie was just telling me about it. does it happen that immediately? i’m so used to stomach issues though so who really knows. it was worth it though, delicious cramping.
food can look grotesque, fascinating, and delicious, all at once. a look is important for sure but nothing beats taste. you can pile up arugula and compote bullshit all you want cheffy but if it tastes crap your modern cuisine design monthly subscription, uh, can’t finish joke.
i’ve had a lot of foie gras lately. my warranted expert opinion on the stuff is, well, it’s pretty rich, and if you think about it too much you kind of get sicked out and then you score low on the ethics portion of your eating tour BUT at least the guy was local so i canceled the evil out.
so being facetious. no, carbon footprint reduction does not condone animal suffering. BUT, it’s an ancient tradition, this method of cuisine. i should probably research it more before piping up. however, because it’s so cultured and fancy, “rich people do it so it’s ok” justification, i dunno. basically all i’m saying is i like it and i hate that i like it and i hate that i don’t even like it that much but then i go and have it five times in the last couple months like an insane person.
that plate is meant to be shared too, you spread it on bread. it was like eating butter, that’s the rich consistency and texture of it, creamy pâté. i did a shooter of it once at another ballin’ restaurant. it was really really gross and really really good at the same time. that concludes my opinion on foie gras. takes bow.
like, is it weird that i am dining practically alone all the time, super high end shit and tastemaking trend forecast broadcasting to the world from my soapbox? yes.
this place is massive trust me guy. if it’s photographing this big then you know it. multi-level dining area, so many great vantage points. the front room is darker, cozier if you want that. i wanted better lighting for photos back here.
look how cute this is took a bunch of jokey photos pretending to pick it up like a brownie. it is West Coast Sablefish – $29.00 – House chorizo, Cookstown dinosaur kale, organic navy beans, local saffron “mojo” sauce
amazing. you can tell they have fun plating stuff here. they’re ever good at it. i try plating stuff at home but i don’t really cook anymore so it’s like kashi cereal with just right kellogs sprinkled on top and light soy milk. sigh. the bachelorette.
i can never date any sort of chef. i will never be able to wear skinny jeans ever again if so. that would be a hilarious premise for a cooking show. raymi’s top chef. do it trashy tila tequila styles and have girls up in there too.
tears streaming down her face as i slurp on her delicious, but not good enough, lobster bisque, pieces of some garnish herb sticking in my teeth. what is this, fennel? shoulda gone with swiss chard.
i love the danforth. i don’t hang around there enough. going to the danforth is a nice little adventure, something different from whatever dumb thing i was last doing. i’d go to globe again for sure and also earth. thanks for dining with me.
sitting down in front of my blog is total escapism. likely why i’ve taken to it for so many years. i have been putting life and things and worries on hold for ages now. the higher quotient of blog posts says that there is something i am battling mentally. the lack of blog posts says the same too. usually that i’m depressed and the energy necessary in bumping out fluff posts, i just don’t have. well it’s there but i can’t be bothered to force it. force a smile. i cannot do that. i think people who do are crazy. how can you get through life being a phony like that? i’d rather go to bed at night thinking you’re a cunt instead of a crazy cunt fake smiling like a cheshire.
stress vortex aghhhhhhh if i keep blogging i am safe hahaha.
burlington has made me squirrely it’s time to go back to reality now.
i am so happy that i got fuck all done. well, i did a lot of emailing and business in that regard but nothing concrete. ok no i did begin an article. an article about a story i’ve been retelling often. steph’s eyes bugged out when i got to the part about the shrimp and coffee and the suit. wow.
i am a weirdo. i enjoy weird things. i put myself into weird situations my entire life just to test myself. i think i get off on abuse, torture, minimal discomfort. i cannot believe it’s happening so i see how long i can tolerate it and see who snaps first. like all the shitty dates i go on.
another great thing about blogging is, i really, genuinely, enjoy being alone. as much as i complain about dying alone fat and old, i kinda don’t care? i wigged out yesterday a bit, the emo got me bad, and i thought if i had a boyfriend would that fix how awful i feel right now? no, it wouldn’t, i’d still be miserable, he couldn’t cure that, therefore, a boyfriend is redundant. almost a hindrance. some of these dates i go on the poor saps fall head over heels but i don’t for them and you can see the trainwreck around the bend. you really truly want to be the one for them or give them 24 hours to think it’s gonna happen. but it isn’t. i am so ludicrously picky now i don’t think i will be able to settle. it’s cos i realized my power. it will be the undoing of me in the end. pride can’t hold you in the night.
went out with binsk last nite and we shared our life philosophies. she is awesome. takes awhile but eventually you learn that you don’t need no fucking man. a couple of my girlfriends are going through breakups at the moment. i try to be a bastion of hey look at me all this can be yours too (hahaha) for them. some days i feel like i am barely keeping it together but that’s ok, i’m not a dweller, set it and forget it and move the fuck on. when you breakup with someone it’s for reasons, your logical mind tells you from the getgo that this prick is beneath you slightly, maybe. if he blows it or you blow it it’s cos neither heart was into it so don’t be so sad when it’s over you’re just moving on to the next phase of awesome in your life. don’t get down about the in-between hard bits, they make you stronger for having got through them. enjoy the suffering. suffering makes you feel alive. like watching a scary movie. you’re involved.
everyone has fears. everyone feels inadequate and anxious. once you realize you’re never truly alone in the world then things get easier. yes i enjoy being alone but do i know i’m really alone? five thousand unique people come to hang out here with me every day so i must be doing something right.
ok this is getting squirrely now im revealing shit. one of the guys in deep river was telling me some stuff and he got this look on his face and said uh oh i’m sharing. big whoop. share away.
doesn’t it seem like blogs are dying off or is it just me. i feel like people are packing’er in. meh.
the point of this retarded story is, i am a completely different person now that i am single and thriving. it isn’t always easy but it’s interesting to say the least. my life could easily still be exactly the same as it was a couple years ago, which floors me a little. like that nicholas cage film when he has that entire life he could of had with tea leoni if he stayed in the suburbs instead of the yuppie bachelor dream world that was his reality. which would you choose? do i want to be a professional at relationships or do i want to be a professional at achieving my goals? you can be both but it takes a lot of energy out of you, to work on a relationship, holy shit, intense. you don’t get to live both worlds, single life world and all the ridiculous adventures and flavours. it is also exciting going on dates or just meeting people too you don’t talk to them in a manner that’s kind of passive like, i cannot sleep with this person because i am in a relationship i am speaking to them because they are interesting and it’s my choice to give them my time. people in relationships sometimes don’t make the real world people effort because they know they’re going home to someone. single people are like come on bring it i am out of my house if i don’t engage in social interaction then i’m not getting any later on. it makes you braver, essentially. self assured in a fearless way.
not sure if you ever look @ other blogs to get ideas or whatever, but just incase these might be interesting to you.
2 of my fave.
Yeah I know terrys but not the other. I barely look at anything anymore. On total output mode. I am insane.
Do u really work for the star
Yeah, I work in marketing for the Star. It’s not that glorious. No I don’t work with writers if that’s what you’re insinuating. Well sometimes but not in a literary capacity.
Why?
No reason just wondering
I do. Is your blog your income? Or do you work?
You’re definitely a good writer, I see why you have a cult following.
Too bad about the creeper fan though.
this is my job
That’s rad. For real.
A self serving entrepreneur.
Reminds me of fight club.
Yeah im weird.
yeah ive been hacking at it for a long time now i am a fighter
some days are tough but, well, im famous haha. good trade off. i earned my way. self made.
Yeah that’s wicked, never met someone like that before.
Definitely. Self-made no doubt.
‘hustla baby!’
the hustlin never endddddddddddddddddddddds
It shouldn’t fun things don’t!!
I never understood why people do things that make them miserable.
Hey! Cool blog- everyone and their toms. Too bad you guys left early.
-Dave from Watusi.
Why what happened once we left? We got in a bar fight after that at not my dog cos we gangster.
Hahaha! Some weird girl came in and liked brentolious. But she then freaked and told us all to fuck off. She then bought shots for us, then snapped. Then left telling us – while looking at me to “go fuck myself”. It was quite a riot
Yer other dave boy was a bit of an annoying not getting it creeper. Maybe it was deserved?
Ahahaha! He’s married so I guess that would explain the hovering tendency, and So what happened at this bar fight? Is it a real bar fight or just blogger fluff (just kidding).
Well I didn’t write about it cos I know the reaction therefore real. I never lie. Ever. Why would I waste my time.
Hence the just kidding. So what happened??!
I have no time to even tell the truth haha. I lipped someone off basically and it got tense
Daaamnn! Well it happens, haha.
we had had enough of men hovering and poking at us
Ahahah oh gawd too funny.
i almost punched a 400lb drunk guy he woulda gone down like a ton of bricks. kind of a really good story actually. for another day.
You may have seen Michael Erickson’s signs around the neighbourhood, and I just wanted to let you know why I am voting for him on October 25th.
I have had the great privilege of canvassing the varying neighbourhoods of Ward 14 (Parkdale-High Park) with Michael, and seen firsthand why he is our ward’s best choice for city councillor.
At the doors, Michael has displayed great empathy and diplomacy to residents’ concerns; and I truly believe that his attitude, energy and vision are what we need in our community for the years ahead.
Opposed to any of the other candidates, Michael is the only one presenting a platform of actionable ideas and options.
He also promises to be an accessible presence in our ward. While canvassing, we encountered many residents who told us that this is not the case with the ward’s current councillor.
There are also burdensome issues that our ward’s youth are now facing, and I cannot see how any other candidates will be able to understand or address these issues; whereas Michael has worked with vulnerable, and ‘at risk’ youth for 20 years and shown great insight to the problems that our youth now face.
There are many other excellent reasons why you should vote for Michael, and if you want to know more about his ideas for youth, transit, small/home businesses, and democracy please visit his website: http://michaelerickson.org
Feel free to e-mail him any questions that you may have.
Here is a map of Ward 14 if you live on or between the blue lines you can vote for Michael.
Ward 14 goes as far north as Dupont, as far south as Lakeshore, as far west as Parkside/Keele, and is bordered to the east by the railway tracks. It includes High Park, Parkdale, the Junction, Roncesvalles, and a little bit of Liberty Village.
all i wanted sunday morning in deep river was a pot of organic snob coffee. everything in this small town was shut down on sunday or operated under weird hour restriction. in my diva flip out grabbing the most expensive bag i could find i didn’t notice that this wasn’t even coffee. hit the roof. on top of discovering there wasn’t any internet in the house i was staying at. all i wanted (needed) to do was blog and then the real book writing work would begin on the monday, sunday was supposed to be my self-indulgent day. it started off on the wrong foot.
i took a stubborn stand and declared that i don’t even eat in the day but then relented and sat at this diner. i was pissed off because it was beginning to dawn on me the state of the situation i was in.
my coffee. i barely had any of it after that huge stink. i see no point in sitting over a diner cup of coffee when i should (and want to) be sitting in front of my laptop. i can’t leave with the pot of coffee nor can i order one. the logic here frustrated me immensely as well as being woken up way too fucking early after a long car ride and late night.
i turned to my guest/host and declared don’t ever fucking wake me up again at 8 in the morning on a sunday. no excuses. my bitchiness will all make sense once you hear the full story that i’m writing for street carnage presently.
went to one of the (two)(or three) bars in town for some entertainment. there was a wedding reception in the other part of the room. they didn’t want us over there but we eventually invited ourselves anyway and then no one cared.
it was kind of fascinating being privy to a family’s private celebration in this small town with no irony to any of it. when i lived in maine at this bar i was chatting up a girl and kept asking her what her plans were, when would she leave rockland? she was confused by that because she never planned to leave her town. i was eighteen and refused to believe any of this.
this girl is the same age as me, 27, has three kids. a family. urban women at 27 with three children? unheard of. who looks older? i’d say i do but only because i have a fashion angle, if we were wearing the same outfit perhaps and could deduce nothing about either one of us that would be the true age determination.
that’s the shirt my mom also picked up in the store that i had in my dressing room and i laughed when i saw it in her hand. you know those freak stories when twins are separated at birth then find each other several decades later and they’re wearing the same pants or like the same music?
everyone was staring at me like my hair was on fire. have you ever eaten and felt so on display before? i wonder how famous people deal. you’re supposed to act aloof and not take notice but a real person would be like can i fucking help you?
i am fully exhausted here but the new surroundings high got me. people always push themselves when traveling that’s why you always need a vacation from your vacation.
we had a reservation which was totally unnecessary. i was certainly dragged around town like a fucking show pony. half into it half alright already that’s enough.
i meet enough people in the fucking city why do i “need” to make a connection with some woman who apparently writes for something i can’t even remember what it is. i do not react favourably to being told what to do or what is good for me or my brand. i was being walked across the road to a woman in her garden oh i must meet her so i’m in my sunday fog halfway to her place and then i snapped. no, stop making me do shit i don’t want to do! i turned around and marched back to the house.
i spent $30 at whole foods before we left oakville and have like nothing to show for it other than a german toothbrush. that scene is ridiculous. it is perfect for the self important elite crowd of oakville and on a saturday you can forget not being pissed off after wallking around that place. i am always half amused even when i’m pissed off making mental notes to write about it later.
i bought gum and cough drops too and an americano and two chocolate bars but does that and these items add up to thirty dollars in your brain? not really. it shouldn’t.
being british justifies anything you want in life. like, drinking at noon. also when other people decide to share wine before you make a booze move one by one everyone caves like dominoes.
flickr made a mes of my photo order i can’t be bothered to organize them. welcome to my life and what my brain feels like, all these experiences overly-documented and memories of events all squashed together one after the other. in a life where you are constantly doing, with little time to reflect it can get a bit overwhelming. i don’t know what my brother is trying to communicate here other than he was half in the bag when i showed up and i am the family punching bag. well, i’m the family weirdo. as a reader of my blog can you imagine being related to me and like, “allowed” to make fun of me whenever you want? don’t think you wouldn’t get it back ten-fold though.
i made a joke to our cab driver about this canadian flag gum i wish i could remember what it was i know i took this picture to remind myself to repeat it here. too much time has passed since the telling of this alleged epic quip so i leave you with nothing but more mystery. i probably went seinfeld on him or asked if he secretly worked for the tourism board of canada. only funny if you are ten sheets to the wind i imagine.
this guy rode his bike backwards by us in the market i call him over and wouldn’t you know it he’s got hash. i’m bumping into lots of people with hash lately but they never give your their hash source they just tell you it’s expensive and when you’re all yeah i know i don’t care i love the shit they’re still all selfish about it. makes no sense.
so his claim to fame is cycling backwards like as fast as one would bike forwards. he’s pretty good but i don’t think it’s very safe or practical. we were all in snarking on the universe mode and he played right into that.
there was another tailgate party afoot here that we just joined (a few yards away) for less heat to smoke some pot by and then they went away. we thought it really funny and selfish of us to ruin their good time idea they had first.
had a drink at ronnie’s which is when the nite turned you can see it in other photos of mine there’s no chance in hell of me posting hahaha. see how my curls fell out? my hair gave’r.
we did a shot at mezzrow’s in exchange for leaving mel’s backpack (full of books, had intentions of studying) there. once we finally leave adventurehouse we do anything to avoid going back cos we are such lazy shut ins.
needless to say the kid at the movie store was not appreciative of our fun cheer. he was tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter which distracted me when i was talking to him, melodie picked up on that by seeing my eyeballs gaze over to his tapping looks over her shoulder at him and says can you stop that? hahaha.
