Hey guys. Yeah I’m the worst blogger right now. You look at summer and are like cool I’ll have all this time to blog but really it’s like no time for it. I think I’m just too ADD. I know a lot of people feeling the death by festivals heat. Wahh wahh babies.
Sometimes I just want to blow up all my social media though so I can blog again. Feeling stretched a little thin but how is there any other way to be if you don’t feel stress everyday then you are not living.
Tim’s party was great saw a lot of peeps from the past. Heard lots of stories from the past. You can never escape shit you’ve done or has been done to you. Red Flag, pictured above, reminded me of some funny shit that went down while we were dating. I think I can add it to my book. Will add it. It’s basically about how I ruined our Valentine’s Day together LOL.
I think I deserve a medal for bringing my mom to 159 Manning. Also the tattoo convention beforehand which we didn’t get enough time at, my bad.
Jill was my lil party date babe. I had no idea she was such a little rascal. She climbed a wall at one point and I pretty much had an aneurysm trying to get her down lol.
I prefer the nipple version of this photo but I am too lazy to blah blah etc.
It’s funny when people accuse me of being a narcissist. I could be way worse you know. It’s funny how just a little bit of it is enough to drive others over the edge. I find maybe it’s possible that no one is even thinking this at all or cares. I overthink way too much.
I feel like I am constantly battling with my weight too in that I must maintain it and like NOT binge-eat which I do I guess. Being a foodie anorexic is a battlefield. I am happy with the present skeletorness I have going on but all I keep thinking about is eating Big Macs. I am craving processed cheese, gooey gross not even real food-level cheese. If girls were more honest with their instagram posts and what not they’d divulge truths like these to you on a regular basis.
I’m not really dating right now. I have my little manpile that I ignore of course I mean but I find it just complicates things. I’d rather work on my career and myself although it does get lonely and empty feeling and I’d like more meaning in my life etc. I find I get mad at the random men who invite, demand or expect me to come to their little events/parties as some kind of trophy-date for them with zero regard for who I am as a human, my timeline, or life. That is how deeply personal I take it instead of just being flattered and happy to be invited but no I have to make it into a metaphor for disrespect. I realised last night I am very bitter right now and I feel bad for not being a better friend to everyone around me. The single girl just gets used up and it drives me nuts is all. I also hate commitment and when people force me to do shit I don’t want to do or say yes to a date well in the future I know I don’t want to go to. I am very possessive of my time despite seeming to waste it a lot. I want to be there for everyone and I just can’t be there for everyone. Being “popular” is a burden especially when you know people are just so close to hating you, resenting you. Meanwhile you leave yourself last always. I think I feel like no one is ever there for me and am sick of it. Yes there are people who are here for me too. I’m just greedy and want more. There’s just so many takers out there. If you’re gonna take you have to give back that’s all I am saying.
Wowzers.
I over-tanned this day and have a few new freckles on my face beneath my eye that I hate. Up close I have a lot of frecklage going on. It can be considered cute though. So I hear.
When you have an unconventional job like I do you have more time to think about your life and mistakes and you wish you had a normal job so you won’t have to think anymore but then, when I had that normal job I wished I had more time to think about myself or I was crying out internally to be a freak again. The grass is always greener.
Fans everywhere ya go. Being a ring girl is fun and nerve-wracking. I was more nervous doing this than I was being naked at the world naked bike ride. It’s because I am so analytical and I look at some people’s faces in the audience and I try to decipher what their stink-eye means or do I look awful wtf etc. I am pretty sure if I tried I really could think myself to death.
I was sweating like crazy this day. V hot in there.
Melissa is awesome I was so glad she was there too.
I wasn’t planning for my personal headcase stuff to be dragged into this fight recap post but whatever some people enjoy it. Thanks to Rick for teaching me a sweet self defense move as well I dare you to come at me now bro lol.
There’s a big gala fight in the fall I plan to have my shit together for in terms of wardrobe. Last minute Naked News swept in for a thing that day as you recall. It’s hard to plan two things at once. I even forgot underwear! Thanks to Alastair for coming through with some la vie en rose goodness haha.
This part of the night was pretty fun/ny. Drunk Wolfgang was pretty hilarious. I am loving getting to know the trainers in kickboxing world. Characters all of them.
I spy Frank in the crowd.
I love the girl fights. They’re lethal! It’s nice to fantasize about beating up my enemies as I watch these fights. Yeah you know who you are and you know I can do it now with bona fide fight skills lol.
Everybody loves Tracey. #tagteam
It was Wolfgang’s birthday. He was so funny. They got him drunk.
Hey Eddie!
I’m not smiling here because I was trying out a new thing for this walk. Being serious. I just look angry.
The DJ was supposed to play a different beach boys song. Oh well!
Hey Lou!
Watch what you say about ol Raymbo. These are my friends meow.
Next time I won’t binge watch Orange is the New Black in less than 48 hours before two events.
Fun for the whole family. Actually I met a whole family of fighters. Their 16 year old daughter is training. I couldn’t believe it. The mom had a card with a nice message written to my mom thanking her for her photos from the last fights we did. There’s some sweet people out there reading that gratitude card to my mom made me secretly emotional (I was also hella over-tired too).
Radmad invited me to field trip Saturday morning/afternoonish and I was like yes please.
I am holding a beer in every photo. I nursed 2/3 over the course of the day and couldn’t finish the last bad boy. #lush #guilt lol.
Babes everywhere with babely wares and goods for sale.
Oops. Gross.
Purity Ring!!!
Lost power at the beginning of her set. It was put back on very quickly. It’s neat to see bands I normally have youtube parties alone to baha.
Went with my coral hoodie I haven’t seen or worn in years. When in doubt go the fun route. Black is fine yes but you blend. I like to be bright and lively. I stand out and can annoy more that way. Coral is flattering even though I am kind of making a stupid face here haha.
Bumped into a dude I met years ago at a lacrosse game. It was even blogged and photos of that whole day. He was like, I thought you were solid then but now I am just so…impressed, amazed at you now? Like I am some sort of survivor or something? He said I looked great for 32, do I have my own shoe line now? I look like Punky Brewster etc etc pure funny and flattering. Radmad was just shaking her head laughing the entire time. Clearly we were pretty tanked by this point.
The highlight.
Sigh. You see me at the very end. You hear me scream like a Raymiac in the beginning. The beach ball comes near us lol enjoy.
Loved this colour. Sorry for blurry.
Oh hey there.
My date. Sarah (radmad) has known me since I was 21 but “of” me since I was 19. Read my blog. Hated me. For superficial reasons. I love her. When you chill with old friends it’s crazy nostalgia jams. You also get to act a little more immature I think.
Oh hi Jesse. How is your healthgoth doing? (inside joke)
Thank you for taking these candid pictures of me that I made you take.
I saw kids sitting on these. Little ones. I did not want to smash through a snail so I kind of hover sat for the sake of these all important pics.
Very fun times.
Some instagram action now.
I guess you could kinda think I run my own clothing-shoe label no? Bahah.
Nothing beats being sped to the go stayshe in a limo rolling around in the back with your backpack on haha. Okay Monday madness that’s a wrap keep it real xo rlw.
Hey fuckers. Sorry for being a shitty blogger. Good writer. Crap blogger. What guy, I be busy! As balls maybe even. Are these enough excuses can we move on to the party now? Great.
Truth be told my life is filled up with so much more you know nothing about. I know how bloggers look, can look. So easy, so lazy, so whatever. Trust me, there’s a lot else “going on”. I don’t know why it seems to be ok to attack bloggers, who are essentially just artists when in actuality they be hustlers and it’s a struggle sometimes. When you have idle hours you become what is known as “the fixer” and you never actually have any fucking spare time! And perhaps if you do it’s taken as necessary spare time because you might be afflicted by copious, various, mentall illnesses and/or hangovers (lol) resulting in mysterious and atrocious lower back pain rendering one to soul search the hell out of their lives for the past 72 hours.
But alack, a fog has lifted. I have decided to get something Dr. Claw level gangster office chairish in nature. I’ve sat so damn much in front of a computer for 32 years I don’t think this office chair is cutting it anymore. I was really depressed the other day because I was bedridden and I really wanted to write a couple chapters for MY BOOK THAT I AM FINALLY LEGIT WORKING ON but I had to lie in bed sharing shit from buzzfeed and whatnot on facebook, twitter, etc, and feeling like everybody hates me and I am annoying them with my opinions about Will Smith and Caitlyn Jenner. Instead of writing what I really wanted to write and start to change my fucking life around but nooooooooooo am probably dying of kidney failure instead.
I bailed on trivia which also made me feel like a dick. Went to this diner that has “good food” then laid on the couch the rest of the night somewhat in a coma. I just couldn’t sit up in a char all night at our regular so I had to bail. Unless it is socially acceptable to lay down in pubs now I do not think I will be able to attend.
I finally spoke to my literary agent and told him the good news about the book redirection and how I am super 100% focused on it. “It’s time” and all of that. I am going to take a more dedicated approach this time because I know between the two of us we are both too passive about this process. We have to figure out if it can be fiction or non-fiction too because I don’t want to get sued. I am shelving How to be famous on the internet for now. I never really wanted to write that stupid fucking book anyway. I mean I did but all these things have happened since I first started writing it in Deep River I feel like I am gigantically a different person now. I am going to keep the domain though in case someone wants to buy it from me. I’m not closing the door on that book though because I still have 3/4 of it written. It’s gonna be my backup next book perhaps once this sexy one is done.
I just wanted to check in here with you in case you cared and kind of plead my case because my back is always against the wall because that’s the cards I’ve been dealt so I play.
You’ll have to forgive the amount of similar hair selfies you’re gonna see here. How often does your hair look fly AF.
And before it was curled. Okay lets topic change for a breather.
I worked on this painting a little bit. I painted two books, those glasses (turned goggles).
And drew a design on this bottle.
It has been chily lately no? Out come the party leggings.
Found a cute little jumpsuit of mine I bought in Holland, Dutch Sis got a matching one also. Shoulda snapped a pic but didn’t for some reason. This w/e was kind of a gong show vortex.
Delicious cherries. Nourishing.
I took several pictures of this IT WAS BLOWING MY MIND haha. Lazy stoner art has always been my forte.
I Houdini’d out of the party because I was tired as shti went to Crappy Tire to get propane for late night bbq. It was an awesome party I wish I didn’t stay up so late the night prior to. Stupid. I was tired the day before too. I am just too old for all this givin’er. I didn’t take ant pictures either.
Cousin Kiki Kitty meow.
We chased this red sunset. It sort of worked out ha ha.
I want to get a coat like this one I borrowed from Kiki. It makes me look fancy like I am into horses and reading the NYT.
Angie has like a wall of jewelry you stare at for the 3 hours your hair processes is rinsed and blown. i got a ring and these earrings. I like dainty girly shit because I am such a trashmouth. Life is all about balance.
Last Wednesday. I changed into jeans before heading to trivia night. Paul said I looked tired. COOL I said. FRIENDS ARE AWESOME. the thing is I wear less makeup and have more tan so I always looks like I am a farmer/apple stand lady. I think it is kinda sexy in a delusional way, like all other things.
From Streetsvegas. I’m a photo hoarder. Used to drive by these daily for ten years on the bus to school. We used to say this pioneer cemetary was haunted. How original!
Ancestors of some of our friends are buried here #historical!
You ding dongs ready for a thuper post! What’s up Love Robot whuttttt ^^ #respect.
I went with Ben Miner to a comedy gala thing for blindness at the Carlu, swanky night! Sat at a table in the front row like ballers. This one comedian said a joke that I had heard on tv before that I repeated to an ex of mine and we made this joke everyday all winter long to each other then I HEARD that very same joke this night, blasted on beers dressed like a gala diva (just go with it) and it was a very zen moment for sure.
My favourite house. I asked if we could shoot a web series here. They said yes. Now I just have to make it crappen.
Another givin’er weekend is upon us. Stoked. This hot weather is so exotic. My mother said that. I would have said tropical. Same diff.
Ya guy.
Got there early, got all ma shots in there bro Lebowskis.
He did something lewd below me. This was aftermath. Only because I don’t like how I look in the photo I’m not sharing it.
There may be some monster bikini sightings this w/e.
Got a bit of sun there.
Then we multiplied into more. Good night this night plus weekend.
NICE.
Bouquet of kittens so adorb.
Then went to Streetsvegas.
I used this camera in Holland. It makes all experiences seem touristy and beautiful. I used it in Aruba too. Spectacular. I have always loved photography.
Finally changed my toenails. These are neon yellow teeks my mom gave me. I had them in hot pink but were ruined in Aruba from water. The first time I went. They’re comfortable and very light.
Mom gave me a bunch of light white tea towel doiley-like shirts I just discovered that’s why they’re so wrinkled. These acid wash shorts used to be jeans. I found all these shorts from a previous life that all fit me perfectly. DOPE SQUAD.
Not a bad look Lauren.
Walk softly, carry a big stick.
Ok doke, time to fold my laundry now and edit some things and be a business lady. Oh if only you knew. Actually I am glad you don’t. Check you later.
Greatings. Good tidings in general to all, you purveyors of stuff you purvey and blogs you read of things people permit you to see. Blogging is about seeing and being seen.
Yesterday decided to go d/t btown to my old haunts for a beach power walk then mom and philip met up with us.
I pigged out yesterday. After restricting all afternoon. I am insane. I had fries. Shared a ghetto burger. Then we had nachos at Emmas. Sangria. Then sour candy at Mad Max, plus pop A LOT, and popcorn. Then I had a KFC cookie. Then I got my period at 4am with the worst cramps ever. Cool story.
I’m doing this post because I feel bad in not giving a little something to the immediate audience. If I squirrel away and only work on my book 7 days a week the fires that are burning will go out. Also it’s a means to procrastinate some more.
It’s been a stressful couple of weeks.
I love the waterfront.
That’s a mandarin pop. About the time my diet efforts took a nosedive.
Went on an adventure hike date then had a burger on kelsey’s patio in the sun. Dating is insane can I just say that for a second? All these people come in and out of your life, pile up. I get unsolicited dick pics, weird attacks about the amount of chances I “have been given” to get a move on with such and such a guy I haven’t even conversed at all with yet! Guys ARE INSANE!!! Anyway. I have been passive and I think that makes them mental too. I “Houdini” out. I do not have a positive outlook on tinder and exactly what happens when you go on dates and if it goes further then it doesn’t go any further than that so I have been giving guys zero chances, not going out… but I still want to be active and I like variety. Maybe I average 3 dates a month? 2?
We saw that coming back down. Yikes.
Guys don’t really leave you alone until they’ve had sex with you or if they haven’t and I’m not really doing that with anyone so you can guess how many guys are bugging the shit out of me right now hahaha. The single girl always gets it the worst. Attacked, harassed or smothered.
I want to do more modelling gigs. Who do I reach out to for that?
I made this. I am done being a purist and not using oil or butter when I make eggs and be fucking with them sticking to the pan. Margarine is the answer.
WILL put my painting together SOON. Without buckles this time.
This guy was like shave your legs. I was like they ARE shaved and smoothed YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE!! JK but I wanted to. Men piss me off all day long morning noon night with their dumb ass commentary. I loved Mad Max so much with bitches taking over I am that level-rage when a bro so much as chimes in a teeny bit negatively to me about me lol.
I made the dopest marinade for these breasts. I am getting into baked potatoes too a little bit. I find that re-introducing carbs a little bit has actually helped my metabolism like they’re a new toy for my body to deal with and my stress hole is loving the addition and playing ball right back.
I’ve been annoyed with all my shorts being too big for me and then it dawned on me that maybe “it was time” to pluck these out of my underwear drawer’s top right corner where I have been hoarding them for 3 years. They fit, albeit tightly as frig but still, still! I was a beanpole when I bought these. I wore them to The black keys (what’s up Nicky you remembered!) and now I get the privilege of them camel toeing me all over again like the ageless beauty I am.
Our wardrobes are lifelong personal curations and luckily I stick to certain matchy palettes of neon it’s so easy to pull things altogether. I’m about to do a purge then I am going to reward myself with some new pieces.
Sorry if this offends your sensitive sensibilities but I had to share the loving insides of my shorts. When I found them at UO, each dyed pair was unique unto itself these vintage shredded daisy duke levi’s and it only took me a few try-ons to absolutely know these were the ones that’s why I have never given up on my slimming down goal just for these dumb ass shorts. I tried to give them to my niece but she’s too lithe so it was up to Aunt Raymi alone to get’er done. That’s how you stick to your body goal dreams. I know there’s a few ladies who have adopted my odd diet regimes and are seeing results so I tip my crazy hat to you.
Okay that’s all I budgeted for today I have some tasks to tackle xo!!!
Welcome to my birthday party of one, starring Bum Bum Lauren and a gift from Jodie which finally got to me now. My birthday was March 31 btw. Anyway, it’s Jodie’s actual birthday today can ya frigging believe it? I don’t even know how long she has been a Little Raymi for, probably a long time. Back when I was good at blogging. If we have learned anything from David Letterman’s farewell broadcast from last night it’s to self-deprecate your skills always and forever like the champ you are (not).
This is Jodie btw everyone! She lives in Edmonton!
I remember when “unboxing” was all the rage (when I started doing it and NO ONE else was #humblebrag) it was exciting to get mail and that makes a compelling video because you capture a moment, a feeling, a real feeling of joy and the mystery of what is this?? When agencies started sending me stuff and like megaloads of it, duplicates of swag meant to tastemake and share with your cool friends it was always like, is this really happening? Unboxing is a huge trend right now fyi apparently.
I do get mailed things from time to time that I don’t blog and trust me I feel like a POS about it. Usually it’s books I don’t find the time to read and pass along I am sorry if you have sent me something and I didn’t do right by you. I encourage you to keep trying. Pester me.
Thank you Jodie. So touching and Happy Birthday to you too – may this blog post of your generosity to Planet Raymbo serve as a cheapskate birthday gift back.
Another thing about these Little Raymis people is they are selfless as shit. Okay I’ll stop being a ding dong and get on with the show!
I was going to wear that mangled ribbon in my hair for a few selfies to be funny but I forgot therefore didn’t. Damn.
Rocky was delighted you thought of him too.
Oh well now eh!
I tweeted this quote, an artsy hipster image I ripped off tumblr a week before Jodie facebooked me and showed me this t-shirt that she was buying me for my birthday. Go for it I said being all flattered and teary-eyed.
Abrasive girl bro culture shirt in full-effect I wonder how people are gonna dig me out ‘n about can’t wait haha.
Ready for the beach mon.
This one has cat hair on it. Jodie do you have a cat?
This would be a good outfit to wear to WWF no? I love Pandas. Am I driving you guys crazy yet with my stupid jokes or do you want more?
There’s my abs my flabs. My ex whom I hang with sometimes I don’t know why because we are constantly awful to each other but anyway he made a dig at me and said, “your aging body” during a whatsapp fight and I snapped, naturally. But yesterday he was like damn it must be nice to have a hot body like that. Seriously. Fuck men, while I’m at it. I’m not really dating right now I’m just hating. My tinder pile doth grow though. I tell everyone I use it for self-promotion WHICH is true AND does work BUT there is also a hopeful curiosity about the needle in a stack of needles aspect of it. I just want to be in love again that’s basically it. I am fine and happy with my social group and all of that, content, but you know there is just something about connecting with someone that makes life better, you feel less like a monastic fucking monster lunatic and then you get in crazy shape from all the wicked sex and you’re less bitchy blabbity blah etc.
Sayonara for now. I want to get another chapter of writing in. I’m writing a new book. It’s a sex book. Each chapter is a sexual encounter, all anonymous and currated from the “best of” highlights.
Unrelated, I finally saw Fifty shades of Grey yesterday. It was BORING and Christian Grey makes me want to beat the shit out of some guys IRL I/we know, dunno why…hmmm. LOL.
