Ward was diagnosed with a learning disability at a very young age, now known as A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder). Which is very accurate cuz he often will be telling me a story then completely lose train of thought and skip to another unrelated story. When Ward was a little brat he would constantly ask his parents stupid and answerless questions ie; Why do cats meow? Why does it rain? How does a TV work? Why can’t you breathe in Space? Why is ice, cold? One time Ward was impatient for his mum to get ready to go out to the mall and he was anxiously trying to persuade her to get her ass in gear but she was watching the Blue Jay game. (How horribly lame is that?). She said; “No Ward, wait for the Jays to finish playing, we have to give them our encouragement.” Ward was like, “OK.” He looked at the screen and saw the pitcher; David Cox appear, with COX emblazened on the back of his shirt. Thus, for encouragement, Ward belted out; “YOU SUCK COX!” His brother started laughing at what he had said, but Ward didn’t get the jist of it.
My friend Ward one time let his brother and sister dress him up like a girl when he was a little tot. They put sparkly make-up on him and a wig and a big ugly flowery-printed mama dress and they wheeled him around the neighbourhood in their lil red wagon. They introduced Ward to all the old people on the street as their little sister Wardette. The stoopid thing about this story is, Ward let them do this.
Okee Dokeee
-Ward is 18 years old and already has a bad credit rating. -Ward’s favorite song is; ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it’ By R.E.M. -Ward thinks his ’94 VW Golf is the shit. -Ward laughs like a goat. -Ward always manages to spill gas all over hisself whenever at the pump. -Ward loves oriental chicks. -Ward is easy to persuade. He would drive you to the mall and then buy you something. -Suitably enuff, Ward’s favorite movie is ‘The Stupids’ -Ward alphabetizes his CD collection. -Ward makes his bed every morning and every nite b4 going to sleep. Why? I dunno
Earlier today, I was washing this see-thru glass bowl, trying to get off this lil black speck. It just would NOT get oFF! Dammit. I scrubbed and i scrubbed at it, but ffuk, it would NOT scrape Off! So, i let it soaK in hot-flaming water wif a scoop of sunlight and I ate popkorn whilst waiting. After my wait i go at it with a wire brush. nope– the fucker stays on. So. as i wipe the sweat frum my brow, i turn the bowl over and a drip of water frum the tap lands on the speck and it washes down the drain. The eFFing speck was on the OTHER side of the bowl!! Guess how stoopid i felt right there and then.
Today was/is my dad’s birfday. We went all-out and had dinna’ at J.J.Muggs and saw’re The Grinch. I hate kids. durr. They’re so annoying with their happiness and their chewing and, “Oh my GAWD! The guy kissed the Dog’s butt.” Eeeyuhhhgrrrr….. Someday in the future, Raymi will birth a babygirl something. Maybe. We will see. This is after she has her kicks, of course. After she smokes weed on the beaches of Thailand, writing freelance and mending broken toys for little chillen’……wait, raymi hates chillen. hrmmm…nah, Raymi just hates canadian/american chillen. They’re all spoiled rotten and fat and drooly. K, tha’senuff. For now. Yawwwn. Got that bruisy, booze-eyed look, again. Not enuff ZzzzZZ’s.
I’s gunna try and go for Quality postings, here. Not Quantity. I have the intent of greatness. Meh.
