K, welp, i’m outta the howse now.
beeswax and bedhead are a bad combo. I can’t wait to pick my nose once it thaws out frum this blasted kold.
mike’s basement loox like a sweatshoppe. iz funny.
“Smells like chinese.” whut i say to him every time i walk in.
these three black guys made fun of our hats when we walked past in front of No Fr i l l s.
we’s gunna figger out how to post a guestbook here so all three people who read my blog can make intelligent insults about me.
U clever people, you.

Everyone’s startin’ to get real annoyed wif me ’round here.
“Uh ray, don’t you have sumpin’ you should be doin’ tonite? Like…..sumwhere to be?”
hmmmph.
ffuk you.
You always complain and moan that i am never home and now that i AM home you want me to go out. jeeezus.
My dad’s all excited and is out now renting moovies and getting popkorn and
“Coke! Dad, don’t forget to get me COKE!!!”
and my mum is lookin’ in disgust at me while i pick at my face.
My brother sez my hair loox all ugly.
I learned on Oprah that you can get red wine out of yer rug by using white wine to neutralize it.
kool eh.
Think at the next wine-party i go to, if sumwun spills red wine, i’ll lunge at the spot with a glass of white wine and everyone will cheer and applaud and this circle of light will shine all ’round me. ahhh.
Maybe i’ll throw myself together and go out into the world.
ugggghhhffffff…..
achy head.

two werds:

HANG oveR.
…urrggh.
It’s 3 12 pm and i am still in my pajamas, messy hair-ed and have not even considered brushing my teeth.
Think i’lljust stay in and watch tv, eat, nap and bug everyone else around here.
I’m on bottle of water numero 4.
I don’t know if i wanna say what happened last nite, or not.
hrrrmm….we’ll see.
I smell.

Didja ever notice that these “fun size” packages of m&m’s and snickers and doritos aren’t really all that fun cuz you hardly get any at all.

I tried to do this ultra-kool roundhouse kick on my boss the other day but i missed and he tripped me then smothered my face in a display of papertowels. everyone was real impressed. He went to watch sum white-trash wrestling last nite and was going on and on about it all day.
btw–many of these postings i have copiedand pasted rite in here frum viceland.com ‘s message board.
go there, i suggest for more background info of funnies and where/when/if you come ‘cross any inconsistencies with my ramblings.
I am under the name : Raymi the minx.

Suhweet.

Raymi is the name of a character in a book i’m dragging thru the mud, she’s this little vixen bitch whose real young and welp, does everything a minx does, y’know.
It’s called ‘the last minx’ , the book.
My friend and I are making it into a comicbook series as well, which is fun, but we’re real lazy and have all this talent but we like to sleep lots and do stoopid things like drink pop and try on ugly clothes at the salvation Army.
I bought this awesome Chocolate coloured velvet jacket for $6. I walk around pretending i’m Jarvis Cocker and when people ask me questions i look over their shoulders into space and drawl my words.

This Morn’ on the Rocket
i was lookin’ in the reflectshUn
of the window and saw this
‘ol fatty woman diggin’ up
her nose with her thumb,
look down at
her thumB to see what she
got, smiled, looked around
to check if anyone would witness
the spectacular event
soon to be taking place and then
she plunked her thUmB with
the GoLd on it
onto her tongue and swAlloweD.
immediately after watching
this through the
reflection,
i turned my head to face
her and i smiled with that,
“Yes, i just saw what you did!”
smirk upon my bitchy face.
Funny, the things people do
when they think no one’s
watching them.

Ward had pooh problems when he was real young. He simply figured there just wasn’t enuff time for a dump, so, his bowel movements ceased to exist. Whenever the need to take a massive crap would come along, if Ward wuz busy, he would just hold it in. Over time, Ward grew ill and lost his appetite, thus, his body weight diminished. Ward figured that since he had been holding in all his craps, if he DID finally take one, he knew that it would be highly painful and tear hisself a new asshole. His whole family became very worried about him and couldn’t understand why it was happening. Of course, Ward did not tell them the reason why. Finally, one fall day when he was raking leaves, a crap seemed to be on its way. Ward was feeling quite confident and believed that today was a fine day for a shit.
Throwing down the rake, Ward ran into the house, viciously attempting to get his pants and underwear down around his ankles. He planted his ass down onto the shitter and began to create what would be the largest of bowel movements that he’d ever push out. In fact he pushed so hard he almost passed out. When Ward was finished, the bathroom smelt as if somebody had curled up and died in there months ago. He ran to get his mum and boy, was she proud!
“Ward, oh, good for you! It must have worked itself out! Oh, this is just so wonderful!” She was smiles all around, and Ward, with a dopey-ass grin upon his face, wiped the sweat from his brow and exhaled a sigh of victory. Ward’s mum got his dad, grandmother and aunt on the phone to relay the good news. They were all pleased as punch