Ward had pooh problems when he was real young. He simply figured there just wasn’t enuff time for a dump, so, his bowel movements ceased to exist. Whenever the need to take a massive crap would come along, if Ward wuz busy, he would just hold it in. Over time, Ward grew ill and lost his appetite, thus, his body weight diminished. Ward figured that since he had been holding in all his craps, if he DID finally take one, he knew that it would be highly painful and tear hisself a new asshole. His whole family became very worried about him and couldn’t understand why it was happening. Of course, Ward did not tell them the reason why. Finally, one fall day when he was raking leaves, a crap seemed to be on its way. Ward was feeling quite confident and believed that today was a fine day for a shit.
Throwing down the rake, Ward ran into the house, viciously attempting to get his pants and underwear down around his ankles. He planted his ass down onto the shitter and began to create what would be the largest of bowel movements that he’d ever push out. In fact he pushed so hard he almost passed out. When Ward was finished, the bathroom smelt as if somebody had curled up and died in there months ago. He ran to get his mum and boy, was she proud!
“Ward, oh, good for you! It must have worked itself out! Oh, this is just so wonderful!” She was smiles all around, and Ward, with a dopey-ass grin upon his face, wiped the sweat from his brow and exhaled a sigh of victory. Ward’s mum got his dad, grandmother and aunt on the phone to relay the good news. They were all pleased as punch