Hey ding dongs. Sorry I suck. Sorry all blog posts begin here with saying sorry. I am Canadian I will have you know. It’s in our nature to be apologetic for no reason. We were born guilty. If we hold a door open FOR you we will even apologize at the very same moment you walk through it idk why we just do c’est la vie. I have a pile of blog posts in queue plus a to do list (as does everyone else on the planet) but I was just on the pisser lamenting how behind I feel I am so here I am now saying hi.
I am all about the non-blog post and I feel you are too. I had a passion for this shit back in the day and feel like an expert if you will. I can remember people being like, they have no time to blog or have any energy and NOW I know what they meeeeean. I was younger when I was killing it in the blog game so to speak and now I am older and older people have less energy as they go through life. I would love that pill Bradley Cooper takes in Limitless for example and become a writing speed machine again.
Okay so here is how you blog again:
1. When the moment strikes to blog, take it. Just start typing type type type like I’m doing right now.
2. When a fellow past bloggy friend emails you for an interview that showcases your opinions and skills, whatever, DO IT. I have a request such as this and am going to make time for it for once. Any opportunity to write about yourself in any vein, do it. It’s going to help open up my mind to my own process again and I am very grateful that Keira reached out.
3. Keep it simple. THIS I struggle with. I have shit all over the place and I do too much, photograph so much and it all overwhelms me. I just “can’t even” anymore. So I will work on keeping it simple.
4. Turn off email. Close social media. Turn your phone upside down and have it on silent. Clear all your “must take care of’s” bullshittery beforehand so you can focus and not feel like they’re after you.
5. Do all of your rituals. Your OCD quirks like rolling a doobie, have your coffee cup filled, water, take a pee and do some light stretching because if you just give’r and jump in there and are in the middle of a groove and halfway through a hunger pang strikes while you are blogging about RECYCLING AS A METAPHOR or whatever…don’t lose that train of thought. So have snacks nearby or eat beforehand.
6. okay fine go to the bathroom because it’s hard to write when you gotta go. Also don’t forget your SEO (google it – the new frontier).
7. Just do it. Do it rather than don’t do it and it will come back to you again. My voice has changed so much so over the years that I am tripping up over the dumbest shit like, how I speak, which is exactly how I think without a filter which is with strong, bold, confidence and standing by every single thought that comes out of my head live. Maybe some pre-prep once I get back into the swing of things will perfect this newfound blog skill upgrade of mine too, can’t hurt.
8. Make it up as you go. If you overthink it then you will never do it. It’s like cooking, you don’t know how to cook UNTIL YOU COOK. So cook. Fear is what holds us back. Fear of failure. So if we don’t try then we won’t fail. FUCK THAT. Just fail bro. It’s the first step toward success.
9. Have a point, illustrate the point. If you feel like blogging a facebook flamewar that came about from an email you received – keep it at that. I need to take my own advice here because I am queen of being all over the place and super-post mash-ups because I just have too much after days of not blogging, you see. It’s OKAY to hold off on the dedicated (to one theme) posts and keep them waiting on those, while you let the Faceboook flamewar post you posted marinate. Let it simmah babes, trust me you will be glad you simplified it later on down the road. For example, when I have to do a report for a client and mine through a long page of posts on my ello for say, the roof repair job we did, it makes me want to just lay down and die basically because I am disorganized af and so thrilled with my content accruing I sprinkle it everywhere. As long as I remember my sprinkles I am fine. Be on top of shit as much as you can and lastly…drum roll please….
10. GO WHERE THE MONEY IS
It’s 2016. We have been blogging for a long time now by this point if you’re not making any money from it, stop it or change it and if you have a “real job” as well as your blog job, put the blog job on pause to pay your bills a little bit. Your blog will always be there for you. Maintain your audience engagement so that the fires are always a little bit burning while you get tha paper IRL so that when you come back with your posts your fanbase won’t feel like jilted lovers cos they missed you and by God, treat yourself and show them what you bought cos lord knows we love to live vicariously and maybe get off a lil bit on the jealousies.
I really enjoyed taking guitar lessons last Friday. I love learning. I’ve been teaching everything to myself more or less for forever that I forgot how much better it is to be trained, how quicker you figure things out and master them.
Being a big mouth while having secrets is mega fuckin hard I’m just gonna come out with that one. Having a full, eccentric life that feels to be bursting at times in every way you finally want it to is absolute insanity but this is the way it is and how I am. I am going to blog like a demon now because that is what has always centered me. My ADD is off the chain and it takes a lot to focus as well there’s always a lot of people to say ttyl to. I am tired of these side converations I think I can navigate while trying to write, to anything. NO MORE. Lauren Write needs to write so let her. Disappearing off the face of the (city) earth and from phone felt so good last week. I am doing that again this weekend while I hopefully sleep for 48 hours that I’ve sorely needed.
Sorry but I am tired of being there for people. I need to do me right now. I need to cut some of you out. Thin the herd. I have virtual check-ins with people, all kinds of handfuls of them everyday all day long and it’s starting to make me insane. The OCD and guilt to reply to every person last week, went away. It’s OKAY if you just ghost. It’s ok if you don’t reply. I am sorry if that stings some of you but I have been putting myself second for too long. I mean I like being there and I like the friendships but trying to mainain them all is driving me bonkers and maybe even made me sick. I am spread around too thinly. When all of my friends are amazing creatives doing great things I love to keep track of all of them and pitch in, take part in all of that too (FOMO) but it’s simply just too much. Don’t you agree? Do you feel like your head is barely above water sometimes managing your life schedule? I must be doing some of the wrong things. I am just tired of saying I am busy to the same select group of people over and over again and them not getting it sorry if that pisses you off but busy isn’t over until it’s over. I am busy as well as sick. I have started a new job and I am in the process of moving as well as managing another background drama do you get the picture yet? I can’t be your party girl all the fucking time. Posting a hot pic isn’t necessarily a thirst trap for you and I do not give second chances, while I am at it. If I made time for you and you bailed on that scheduled hang, I am not hanging with you again. You showed yourself once. I have no time for flakes. If anything I get to be the flake. Not you.
I basically NEED to do this post before I can finish the next one in queue which actually should take importance over this one here but like I said “I need this” ha ha. As a creative. We have our quirks and “rules” our practises and we have our rituals. One day I’d like to let some crazy bastard film my process and then you’ll all be like OMFG idiot. Hahha. I know I am charming and insane and worthwhile. Hey I like me!
Stacy, a hairstylist (top right) and friend of mine from Grateful Head salon on Dundas said some really nice things to me last night at Swan Dive that squeezed some of the bullshit perspective I have about myself out of my brain and I was like YEAH FUCK YEAH and THANK YOU! I was speechless. He thinks I’m a better marketer, seller more than I even know. Invaluable information. I will talk more about him and Grateful Head later on don’t you worry.
When you live a high octane life and you’re busy and you just can’t get out of things AND you are sick it eventually blows up in your face. I just had a sauna and steamed out some toxins and now I am ready to rock right after I pop another Dayquil. WHOOOOO!
Now here’s some fourth wall broken down I just sent everything I wrote above to a creative co-hort and here it is.
thats a real powerful blog post. So real, genuine. People will love it
Thank u
Aww
All the good head cases will come out
Good on you serious
Cos I posed questions
Also telling people to leave me alone
Let em, stirs up things
Yes
Get people talking, interested in what is going to happen to your sense of self. It tells people to take care of themselves too. Reminds them
It is great and inspirational
im tired of posting a selife then getting barraged
just watch the show and leave me the fuck alone
u are not a part of this
but its good for business u need them to love you
Yeah
tired of saying yes i am still busy
busy means busy
and busy doesnt end
(end rant)
The point is just leave me alone for a week. Two weeks. I feel like I am begging here. I mean don’t ignore me no don’t leeeeeeeeeave me. I just mean some of you in the inner circle I have more of a rapport with, stop griefing me for being MIA and not replying I just need to keep my focus. It’s nothing personal I will be back and I will go away again. That’s just who I am. This is me saying I need time and I will probably smash something if I have to repeat it to you again. Yes I have issues with rage, people who try to manipulate me emotionally and try to take advantage of my time. If you want the doctor to be in you have to make it worth her while. Someone wanted to have a business call and I charged for it, he asked why I said because this is what I do. You want me involved, you have to pay me to care. You want my insights and tastemaking, you pay for that too. For me to pause the many things I am always trying to do to stop, drop, and roll for your cause…you pay for it. Time is money. Getting my brain to concentrate requires energy I’d rather direct to things I’m already busy doing and to throw another thing on the plate is fine, but it has to be compensated.
I don’t care how snotty or self-entitled I sound. When is the last time you saw a post here? I am busy I am busy don’t you get it I am busy. When I was a 9-5 copywriter I was busy asf I never spoke of my work I kept my head down as much as I could and I seldom blogged. Go where the money is, go to that. Shut out everybody else and don’t you dare feel any guilt about it. Focus on your shit. Other people are way better at this than I ever was, living for themselves and getting their priorities straight. Me? I collect a bunch of ding dongs to occupy my (waste of) time and I am 33 years old now. I can’t balance it anymore. I love to chat yes I do but I also want to dive into my work and do better work. More work. WERK. I am building something here and I’d like to continue, to finish it. I am my priority right now, you aren’t. I’d like to be there for everybody but I can’t anymore. I don’t want to lose friends either but if you don’t understand any of this you’re not a real friend anyway. Real friends have patience and generally their own shit going on too, they get me whereas everybody else is a needy cling-on and I am not your mommy anymore.
This has been building up inside of me for a long time. Sometimes I just get irked. I can anticipate why people are talking to me, what they’re really after, and it generally doesn’t align with my own intentions or what will ever be feasible between us so stop leching out on me. I post sexy things for my brand and not to get the male gaze or whatever shit my snide detractors claim, or think. I do it for me. To empower myself. There may be a little attention-seeking there too but mostly it’s for the arts and my lifelong passion of showing my fashion, looks, my vibe, and expressing opinions of my experience. We are allowed to do what we want in our lives. I am tired of making excuses for being “a blogger” after 16 years.
I have been sick for a week so sorry for the crabby I will move on to more of the photo and caption straight-forward style approach to blogging now. I had a lovely bday lunch. Was supposed to do one thing but those plans fell through and so was able to hit The Drake with a good bro, yay.
Maybe I am recovering from my birthday still something happened to me on it like in the Santa Claus or Freaky Friday. “I’ve changed” and for the better you’ll see.
Thanks mom for all the sweet gear.
I may be an idiot but I got nice gambs.
It was brutal weather on March 31. We waited out a lightning storm and drank champagne Heather and I did and busted out the selfie stick. Heather got us tickets to Field Trip. What a little scamp I lurve her. So do all the men. HEheh.
I tried to dress it up for this special day. Two outfits. Why not. I am over my birthday now my birthday complex is gone now I’m just like in post bday apocalypse recovery mode LOL haha okay I’m shutting it.
No I am not into the occult but other people are and I want to make money off them. This Wednesday Addams is available FOR SALE make an offer.
Ahhh Fujahtive. They’ll be having their own post. It was a solid show and the crowd was pretty great too! It always is and they always are.
Mom got excellent shots as usual.
Nothing beats a crisp white dress now I’m all set for a P.Diddy white party stay tuned. Thanks Sara Duke!
Dropping mad hints everywhere no? Lol.
What do you do with this life how do you organize it what do you make of it how do you showcase it. Just get on with it I guess.
A lot of great stories from this evening. So much love.
Love it.
So many possibilities found at The Darling Mansion.
Developed a (later on in life) dreamify addiction. Unique endless ways to be creative especially if one already has an artistic eye and access to wicked sets.
Love it. Loon records.
Please hang up and try your call again this is a recording.
Aging like a fiiiine wine. I’ve heard worse and recently too haha.
I just take so many pics of things and surroundings and myself that I make these collages that’s the short of it. I like how it tells the story.
Rural fashions.
I’ve been working for Shannon Brass Vixens queen as her personal assistant this week. Timing in life is everything and so far so good I love her. We go back some years. It all just makes sense.
Looking forward to getting a tan and rocking my new locks. Or at least not being sick anymore or looking Lydia Deetz-tired.
Uncanny.
So I been busy so I gwan slow it down this w/e and kick this cold’s ass. Looking forward to my guitar lesson tomorrow.
Goodbye dark roots. I thought they were kinda cute but your next colour application is always looming.
NO cut this time just a colour. Once I wash it and have it straightened like usual I am keen to see it in all its glory. Hair obsessed. Part of my personal passion project. When I had fug hair no one was nice to me. How you look is important it shouldn’t rule your whole world all the time but it pays off when an effort is made.
The production overall was top shelf – from the lighting, sound, instruments (lots of brass up there, horns, trumpets all that) and band members we were totally blown away. The show has now expanded to a new venue The Opera House and now includes LUCIANO with RIDDIM UP (a big draw) and we are really psyched to invite you out and join us SATURDAY APRIL 9 at THE OPERA HOUSE 735 Queen St East. I believe tickets are still available BUT I am also giving away 2 pairs of two tickets each to the lucky retweeters whom RT the following:
and it’s not too late for you to retweet that too just saying. I love the Opera House and I am glad we’re all gonna be a big happy family together in there it’s a great venue to roam around in and for a great cause in support of Dr. Roz’s Healing Place (a holistic care centre for children and their families fleeing domestic violence and abuse) and you can buy tickets for this wonderful benefit show right now if you don’t want to rely on winning my twitter contest for a set of tix.
Here are some pics from Fujahtive‘s show at Tattoo.
Hey gang, ready for one of those things that I do here? Good me too. Lets get it over with. None of this is in order, rhyme, or reason. I’m managing several projects as usual and this is just a dump post of IG images plus some extras. I go crazy if I don’t blog here and my life (in pictures) accumulates.
*Psst: I started writing this yesterday (Sunday) fyi.
Tuesday went to Southern Accents (aka Southern Comfort lol easy mistake) after Guu now called kinka izakaya. Tuesday was a funny day I had a couple appts, hit the mall to do a long-standing chore then met up with another new colleague. Hey whatever I dont need to explain myself to you people!
Life is about balance. I am also addicted to “going out”. That balance I speak of.. the other half of my life is spent sitting in front of my laptop working so “lay off me”.
Errrm. If you go into a library you’re gonna read a book and if you see a bottle of absinthe you’re gonna have a sip. It was the perfect storm and I totally nursed it like a lady.
I ventured out dressed in gonna speed-walk home gear so felt like a desperate housewife eating at Kinka Izakaya just a little. I made it work.
I have misplaced my Detroit Tigers hat. Whoever has it, Give it baaaaaaack.
On Earth Day last weekend I was feeling a little cooped up and so guess what I did haha. I painted the down just a bit. Birthday month kinda thing.
Double-header blog gig day a couple weeks ago one job being with Toughroof, flat roof repair. Went out to the jobsite pretty under-dressed for it which resulted in another cold a few days later that is still in my throat. I have a kennel cough.
This view never gets old and largely is why I stuck around here so long haha.
When my hair is unwashed it goes more red. I am trying to stretch out salon visits in between colourings rn. When I wash it all the blond pops out again. My roots make it so I have to do that model-hair flip thing. Hair hair hair etc.
Happy I finally got the right size bracelet for my teensy wrist. Aside from my nose, all my other features are small like hands, ankles, boobs, wrists. The more ya know. Actually while on the topic, my boobs are not that small they are deceptively small in appearance but are actually quite the scoops. It’s my platform and I’ll declare whatever the hell I please here on it. I wonder how addicted to charms collecting I’ll become.
Adore this place. Don’t ever leave or change.
Sometimes you just need some spicy octopus. This cleared my brain right out. I took a bite and got back to yammering then all of a sudden I felt like I was going to sneeze and my eyes watered right up. I find that if you senselessly flap at your mouth and at the air like an idiot for a bit the heat will subside and you’re left with a nice little buzz and your co-eater is like, you ok bruh? While tears and snot streams down your face, “I’m fine.”
Turns out eating and drinking lots gets you fat. What? The zipper on these bit the dust. You have to wear them on a skinny day. With spanx. Anyway, I stopped ordering pizza for a few weeks and have slimmed down finally. I am exercising too. I want to be toned. I have a vision. No more farting around.
Dream come true. Everyone loves my DJ name Babysitting Money. “My DJ name”. I am Raymazing. Remember when I used to have joie de vivre and say things like that? I must have been kicked in the head by a mule, or by bitches. Too many bitches, so little time. So many distractions. Y’all don’t even know. The object of the game is to keep it that way. I am well blessed in accruing lots of great mentors and cool people, peers and colleagues along the way. I love collecting good people who are good to me and believe in me. Tired of people hating me for breathing.
We thought the event went at 7. It started at 5. I was late. Showed up to a swarm of nerds. My big coat and I trying to make our way through the crowd I was having a mega-anxiety attack. I needed a drink stat. I am not a .ca member, I only own .coms so I had the white lanyard aka a loser. No open bar for me! No biggie I was the star of the party and had all my new friends and future colleagues getting me dranks through the night. You need to rsvp for next year. Don’t wear a turtleneck though. I was dying. My jokes were on fire though.
I wanted this but I was in a stingy bitch mood. I still want it though, it was a little big. Distressed clothing is the best I have their contact I’ll nag them for stuff. A shirt like this would have seen me through summer.
Canada was not cool enough to be represented in fashion. That’s cool we good.
One of my bigger life regrets is not buying a tartan plaid mini blazer that I tried on at a clothing sale in bar in Ottawa. I have pics in it I’ll show ya. Ugh. I haggled and the girl would not budge the longer she looked at me in it cos she knew I needed that blazer it was made for me. I did not want to lose so I did not buy it. REGRETS.
Was not expecting to go here but it’s just around the corner from Kinka so why not. I like escapism bars. If you never leave the fucking city you kinda have to.
We had such a blast we stuck around for trivia and then it got ugly. Hella competitive. Okay not ugly but they wouldn’t let you even touch your phone and sometimes you need to reference stuff (not cheat!) or follow whomever you’re talking to on IG and then all of a sudden you’re getting yelled at for being on your phone in front of the entire room. Plus you’re drunk. I was just like FINE. We had too many people at our table and at first were split into two teams and we were mean af to each other then got nice when we just banded together so whatever it’s just one over the limit why not merge teams but not before one of us said Duluth instead of Buffalo. Rowdy is fun though I love talking trash as I’m sure you’ve noticed.
When you’re not feeling your body, going out is a chore. Especially if you are a last minute outfit planner like me but it worked out I think. I’ll be gross and unshowered-ish for days then shower and feel like a beauty queen and take a bunch of pics then kind of hide for the rest of the week in my jogging pants.
A gf said this is one of my high fashion looks. The socks and the shoes like that. She just has a Melanie Griffith in Working Girl (those pumps and socks!) boner, so I am a little skeptical. I do notice a lot of women flicking their eyes down at me when we pass in an, oh that’s an idea kind of way. I know when things look trendy. I am not an idiot. Okay well I am but not in that capacity. I could be a legit stylist if I got my shit together. The more I brag about myself the longer this takes.
Hey again. I have a lot of these.
Club 54 disco inferno dress.
Earth day. Unexpected fun! Makes you feel like you saved the Earth a little. I bet in the future it’ll be mandatory to do it once a week for an hour and then more and more as we deplete the Earth of its renewable resources.
I bet these billboards were all lit though.
During bed to couch rotation I get to see the most spectacular ways of the sky over the city. It takes my breath away or would if I were properly awake. Then I go back to sleep for awhile.
RIP Rob Ford. You will be missed. It’s been interesting seeing the pitchforks come out and kind of disappointing. People love when villains die.
Winter hair. Wild animal. Can’t wait til it’s monstrously gigantic.
A Kir Royale. Loved our bartender this night. I have memories sitting at this bar. Kind of got a chill. I was so much younger. Felt like a kick in the pants.
Shotgun houses.
Lots of memories down here in the bunker of the Drake.
My celeb mogul besties list gets longer. My friend Dave knows Jelleestone (J!) and we recently became social media friends.
A refresher if you will. I went by Grasshopper records to see Dave after I went to The Darling Mansion and he knew J would be there, the stars just all aligned and now we are homies! Go Raymes.
Love hanging here. Hadn’t seen Dave in a month too. I know Dave through Geoffrey. It’s all very complex who cares.
So it was a good night. We hung around Dundas, went to Get Well. Record store. Studio. I am a lucky girl. Or I just spent a good deal making connections in my life and being awesome in general blah etc snore zzzz lol.
I also hadn’t seen my nice lady friend Tanya in a bit so I decided to drop in. More on that later!
No comment. I enjoy the composition. Kind of comical. I ate 4 taquitos and I don’t ever want to forget it and thus never do it again.
Beeeeeautiful.
Easter was a success. Some couldn’t show because of all their barfing kids so like I said, a success! Love our dysfunctional fam though. I’ll do an homage post when I have some time never.
My brother and I’s birthdays are ten days apart. Mine is on march 31. JUST SAYING.
GOOD TIMES. TTYL GUYS time to watch The Walking Dead and edit this post.
Head’s up 100% going to this so get a ticket and come with. Or better yet Retweet my tweet and win a set. I’m giving away two pairs of 2.
Hello hello. Finally the second installment of The Darling Mansion photos from that epic boxing day bash, the ones too racy for Raymi Toronto but not for you minxes here. The rest of the best!
“Welcome to an inside scoop of the ever-successful Air B&B masterpiece The Darling Mansion by proprietress Tanya Grossi located at 224 Dovercourt Road which was also featured on the front page of The Toronto Star’s Entertainment section last Wednesday, January 27: What goes on inside Toronto’s Darling Mansion? All photos in this Raymi Toronto post taken by Tracey White Kirouac aka my mom.”
Darling is synonymous with Tanya. Anytime I hear that word I think of her immediately. That’s how you build an authentic brand. Claim a word. Be a darling.
It’s a beautiful place. A lot to see and feature.
aaaaaaaaaand Tanya is homies with Geoffrey Rush. He goes there. Sigh. I had the Shine movie poster on my wall as a teen. Fact.
Loved her. Body goals.
I thought this was me when I originally went through all these photos hahaha. Tanya has a great collection of mannequin parts.
Giggle collapse in the Madam’s quarters. It happens.
Great details taken by my mother.
End of the night evidence thanks mom. That’s just Clem nbd.
Exterior of the office. IRL on your tiptoes you see a lot more.
By the end of the night everyone is best friends. Best friends for one night only!!
Hi mom. This was taken in the opium den, the master suite.
What’s up Gurpreet.
Nice.
I was just sitting there and it became a happening. It typically does.
Tanya is pipes goals. Love ya darling.
My instagram “I am a model” phase lol.
Double shooters.
Oh mom. Hi Alastair. This is the downstairs Playboy theme bathroom. It’s very dated. You will love it.
Salvador Dali was a hell of a guy and Tanya’s main squeeze. Inspiration.
Just exquisite. You may find out her name over on Raymi Toronto.
Oh that art. Such a sweet piece.
I’d show it off too baby!
Wowzers.
So amazing.
Nostalgiaaaa.
This is my mom’s friend. Well. He wrote the feature on her for The Toronto Star on her rock collection story. Don’t get me started.
It was a fun party indeed.
If everybody does it it’s okay.
A classic print.
What’s with the face ma?
Mom you are hilarious for taking this.
Va-va-voom! Part of Tanya’s brand is her boldness and confidence with nudity. She is very flexible, used to do back arches on her bar. Iconic. Toronto woman legend for damn sure just lurk her Facebook or google her man, no one compares.
You may admire art like this but Tanya admires it by amassing it in full blown print form. Got you beat again gooses.
This is in the pink room. The Wes Anderson room. Well anyway I’m sorry it’s over but as always, more soon. Have a beautiful rest of your Sundaze.
Come to Pravda Vodka bar with Raymi Toronto Great times!
Had a client meeting yesterday at Pravda Vodka Bar which is located at 44 Wellington St E. I guess someone was in the mood for a bit of Soviet Russian flare. Snacking and drinking in Moscow was the perfect storm for sure. I’ve always wanted to explore this place.
Hey you all. Do check out Raymi Toronto for my Drake 150 feature. Love that place!
awhile ago I had dinner + drinks at DRAKE ONE FIFTY and it was maaaahvelous. Adore that scene. Definitely going back and fangirling hard over it cos I think I looked “on fleek” that night and took hella selfies to show for it. Capital Whatever. Lets go.
