i can’t believe people give a shit so much about lance bass being gay they’re acting as if there was cheesecake at the weight watcher’s party FUCK OFF BORING BORING BORING. i do however think it a very clever coming-out strategy, wait ’til zero people on the face of the earth give a care about you and your career THEN come out and that’s why there are a jillion tabloid articles about you and ET exclusives like hello isn’t there a war in lebanon or something right now i TOTALLY forgot cos this HUGE GAY BASS NEWS ECLIPSED THE WAR ENTIRELY! selfish.
anyway i was phased for maybe three seconds, my eyebrows raised and then i was like well DUH and the only reason i hadn’t bothered concluding this before is oh right I DON’T CARE. lance bass is the boringest bore to ever bore i am so overwhelmingly bored of this subject as i type it that i need to lay down on my fainting couch, siiigh.
ps you are best friends with that annoying red hair comedian witch who is the epitome of no thanks i’m gay for all men so get a clue world what?
this week i am going to buy the perfect dress. i have three weddings to go to, one in september and two in october. this dress needs to have stains already on it. maybe i will buy three dresses? borrow one buy two? anyway i tried one on the other day and it made me look super retardedly flat-chested like the girl on the bleachers at the school dance who no one sits near or dances with except when/if i rock it i will be dance machine 3000 i’m considering buying it for comedic purposes seriously if you see me in it you will be like HAHAHA and want to be my best friend forever and we will go puddle-jumping with wet busted cigarettes hanging out of our mouths.
we scored the master bedroom saturday nite, good thing. i have never slept in a tent in my entire life and it almost came to that but good thing our host had already drunken the universe and we paid for his smokes before fil asked for a room.
on our way up i took a bunch of videos of the rain and thunder and we were storm chasers so i kept saying THIS IS HELEN HUNT REPORTING LIVE FROM UP NORTH BLA BLA BLA i am funny. i also have a bunch of firework videos. wait ’til you see ‘em and all my drunken OH MY GODS ARE THEY SUPPOSE TO EXPLODE LIKE THAT and no one answering me.
that’s duke. i don’t want to jinx it but i have a pretty good feeling that we are BFF, don’t tell. he slept with us and i had to get up with him at 7 to pee and then he pranced around the bed like a little horse for hours on my head and chest and fil. good thing we aren’t dog stealers cos duke would so totally be stolen to the extreme!!
i’m guessing this is spam, i’m hoping it isn’t though:
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Hello my new friend. My age is 27 years. My birthday is April, 11, 1979. I was born in the city of Kazan. This city is located on territory Russia federation. My name is Karina. I have higher education. I am very hardworking person. I am very responsible the person. I am the nice girl. I have no harmful habits. I do not smoke, I do not drink, I do not use drugs. I am very romantic. I am very cheerful, I was good spend the leisure. My hobby: I love sports, in particular volleyball, tennis, swimming. I like to read! I love to learn new things. I like to study culture of others are strange. I had no the husband (I was not married earlier) I have no children, I like children. The purpose of my acquaintance – I search the satellite for the man, I want to find love, I want to create real family. I had no opportunity to create family in Russia, I could not find the partner in life in Russia. My friend, if you have interested to me, that answer to my e-mail: karina@moscowlights.com I will be waiting your reply with big impatience. Your new friend Karina from Russia.
we are going to the cottage yay if pitt isn’t too gay/busy, comments will be moderated by him. if not then have a good saturday i hope i don’t blow my fingers off tonite even tho it would be sort of cool in a novelty-type way if i had blown off fingers like HEY HERE COMES MY BLOWN OFF FINGERS FRIEND SHE’S FUCKING COOOOOOL.
last nite in bed i was pretending to be a cougar or one of the thundercats but mostly a cougar and i was making all these unattractive rrrraawwrl noises and pretending to brandish claws at fil and i made a bunch of videos, i can be pretty irritating when i put my mind to it not to mention that i was 100 per cent wasted at the time. fil was worried i would keep it up and didn’t tell me to stop cos there was a good possibility i would get drunk-defensive, start crying, and then list all the things i think are wrong with our relationship until i fell asleep with mascara smeared halfway down my face.
here is one of my new shoes. at least it looks like it came out of the garbage and i paid ten dollars for it, the other one was also ten dollars – at least i didn’t pay 80 dollars for stupid gay vans that the entire universe is wearing right now and then they have to go out and buy more cos their first pair got dirty. newsflash YOU ARE NOT SPICOLI.
while on the subject of footwear, if you own a pair of those rubber clog gardening shoes and wear them for fashion i will take a dump in your mouth when you are sleeping. i don’t fucking care how comfortable they might be you are not allowed to wear them unless you are the town idiot drunk and found your pair at goodwill or you are pruning roses in the backyard and you have clippers in your hand i swear to fuck if i see you in yorkville jaywalking in those retard potato shoes i will get a bow and arrow and puncture your tires.
also if i see your children wearing them in funky colors they will be kidnapped.
and who the fuck started this trend anyway??!!?! seriously when i was 17 i got a pair of fluorescent red felt/corked clogs in england and brought them home thinking how neat they were and my mom specifically wore them to take the garbage out. point taken. also little bugs lived in them too.
it’s like, sometimes, i think, people want me to hate them. i even saw this gothy punk girl wearing a fluorescent green pair with black stars on them, you know shit’s out of hand when various styles and colors come available.
is it a canada thing? an ontario thing? has this heinous trend hit the west coast yet?
i could seriously write a book about how fucked up this fashion is, how is it even practical? i swear you are only allowed to wear them if you are a batshit crazy lady in a culty women’s group and you talk about goat cheese and how wonderful dogs are and your hair is scraggily grey. or you are from whereeverthefuck clogs were invented pretty much the same place where harps and yellow hair came from.
look at this!!!!! these are listed under gardening clogs but they are also known as GO EVERYWHERE CLOGS – i know where you can go! HELL! and take your stupid gay ugly shoes with you. my blood pressure is rising and my eyes are all beady and i can’t blink i am so crazy obsessed on this topic right now. i mean they have to invent a category/description for these clogs to justify jerks wearing them in public.
