anyway this is my mom.

fil is being a lesbian right now taking a lesbian nap uh are you 40 years old today? he came home early and declared we were going shopping for him. when i get something new he has to get something new right away. courtney came by and bought a painting, it felt like a drugdeal. anyway so much for shopping, it’s raining and we have to go get stories juice for our stories at 8 o’clock. stories = afv; stories juice = BOOZE. last night we got crunked and spoke to these americans one from mass. the other ny state the mass chick i knew right away was from new england somewhere and we were playing buzztime and the question was bla bla what new england song na ha nah and i screamed at her to tell me the answer and she busted up laughing and said hawr hawr she can tell i’m from new england. no offense why do you guys sound like joan rivers?

dear world yesterday me and lise went to winners and bought shoes and i got shoes and pants and then we went elsewhere and she got more shoes and i got some socks and shirts.

how come at fresh everyone is yelling all the time, do you need yelling to make healthy food? and why is everyone a lesbian who eats there and why do they sit by themselves all awkward eating leaves and rocks for 12.99 and they sit all hunched over like someone out of a goth novel? why does everyone look at everyone else there and sigh the place is just too impressive to handle and everyone in it a lot of thinking and show-boating goes on why can’t i just eat leaves and nuts and shaved carrot without all that yelling and concentration camp haircuts on pregnant women wow i am going to new-age hell.

a few weeks ago i went there to get some hangover medicine and i got the simple rice now MY idea of simple rice is RICE, the end. their idea of simple rice is rice with parsley and shaved carrot and exploded wheat and tofu “steaks” or tempeh. i had to ask what tempeh was and the dude was all it’s this really nice tofu that’s full of flavor and bla bla bla but here is the TRUTH: tempeh is garbage you find in a parking lot with bits of someone’s car tire slammed onto it and then it’s stepped on a lot by a bunch of shoeless homeless guys and birds regurgitate bread onto it and voila, tempeh.

needless to say i was not stoked about spending 8 something on that crap and it certainly did not help my hangover in any way whatsoever and it did not fill me up.

i think by law fresh is not allowed to serve anything that tastes good that is under 9 dollars. yesterday the juice i had was alright but it wasn’t refreshing it was just heavy and thick i’m like WHERE’S THE JUICE THIS IS FLUFFY LIQUID.

sorry lise i know you are a lesbo for that place but i am not a millionaire.

sucky pants cid

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn’t that sweet?

i’m going to have to disagree with this one.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:

i burnt the fuck out of my hands last nite while making chicken strips and cried like a stupid baby on the couch for an hour. i have third-degree burns. fil was laughing at me of course because he is an insensitive bastard.

listen to raymi and tony and fil talk nonsense.

Kali reviews marketable depression and who knew she has ideas in her head about stuff like a book tour, go see.