don’t you want a nice young loudmouth to be the face of canada, the best blog, don’t you want this to be an even bigger trainwreck? don’t you want to see me on television? strategystrategystrategynakednakednaked.
HERE IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO VOTE AGAIN it’s pretty close EVERY VOTE COUNTS don’t think if you don’t vote it doesn’t matter cos it most certainly does no offense to the other lady but i do not want to lose to a three old blog, if i win this year i will never bother you with this shit ever again. thank you for your votes thus far, today and tomorrow are the last days to vote, i assume sometime tomorrow they close the poll earlyish so get in as many for me as you can, buy your grandma a computer and get her to vote too, i would but my grandma is dead so feel sorry for me about that. no? too far?
my hits were through the roof yesterday also thanks for that ya’lls!
so totally vote and then you can read this blog for many moons to come if not, peace!
that’s goat cheese, hot salami, basil, tomato, pepper. easy. you can also use calabrese and roll them into little burrito shaped things. i am a cooking show.
Why would I want to watch a television show about the internet?
ok i am going to bribe you guys now, if i win i will hold a contest for a FREE signed copy of MY BOOK including shipping and also some other garbage thrown in there, and there will be a second and third place prize too, not the book, again, garbage that you can sell on ebay. OK. only if i win best blog, though. i have the book in my posession right now and it is signed already with a crappy drawing as well, all that’s left is to personalize it.
so keep voting daily, go to someone else’s computer and vote, go to your school library and vote from every single computer until friday december 1st.
k bye.
here is a visual of what cid thinks about marketable depression:
they are filming a movie or something at fresh (bloor/spadina) right now so if you were planning to eat your lesbian hippie lunch there, i wouldn’t, though it might be done by now i dunno, that place drives me mental MENTAL it’s like everyone is screaming when i go in there and there’s a 20 minute wait for a table usually, no thanks.
20 minutes for overpriced lettuce and yelling and skeletons walking around and pretentious nerds with lisa loeb glasses, eh, no.
i just came back from the supermarket, i have not early grocery-shopped in a very long time, i like it and loathe it simultaneously now here is why, everyone takes their sweet ass time and is in my way and acts like they aren’t and they put their grocery cart in front of all the shit i want to buy and then cock block the rest of the shelf and they are a hundred years old and act like they are the king of the annex i’m getting sick and tired of the annex-mentality HI I AM A CHARACTER IN A MARGARET ATWOOD NOVEL I AM WHIMSICAL AND KOOKY AND I WEAR WOOL SOCKS PULLED UP TO MY FUCKING ASS AND I HAVE A WITTY OBSERVATION ABOUT EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE.
to you non-canadianoids, the annex is like the new england of toronto, you know, granola and hippie dresses, bongo drums and students, well-educated residents, haha, good thing i live here.
but, i prefer morning shopping to 5pm shopping, because i am a shut-in i push leaving the condo to get foodstuffs until i am starving my face off and then i get to the market and there are 200 other people there, the after work rush and everyone is in everybody else’s way and if someone even THINKS about me inappropriately i lose it.
where was i oh right coming back home by the time i get to the door downstairs i am sweating and crabby and then i get stuck behind the lady who lives next door who is at least 112 years old and walks slower than the slowest thing that ever slowed and i have all these bags and she is inching her way to the door and we get there at the same time and i already have my swipe key out, she doesn’t even notice me, she swipes her card and starts to open the door, i put out my hand and open it all the way cos she is this frail tiny hunched over thing and she goes OH I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO… and i cut her off and said I.LIVE.HERE. then i ran inside up the stairs so i wouldnt have to share the elevator with her.
i feel kind of mean but i am sick of being treated like a criminal here cos i am not 60 years old and i don’t wear an ugly fur coat people treat me like i am a prostitute but then when i am seen with fil they are all phony nice and i give them major stink-eye or i walk away as punishment while he is saying hi to them, fuck you, don’t pretend that you are not a fucking bitch to me in front of my boyfriend.
though, i have also thought it might be possible that they are afraid of me and my i am a total cunt vibe, i guess i am a little stand-offish, but it’s not cos i am a monster it is because i am shy and afraid of people ok the end.
ok i didn’t mention this before cos i thought it would be OBVIOUS but it DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHERE IN THE WORLD YOU LIVE THERE ARE NO BORDERS ON THE INTERNET you can still vote for me if you live in america or wherever outside of canada OH MY GOD i want to rip out my fucking hair at the thought of all those missed votes fuck!@$#^
there should be an award for DUMBEST READER and it would be a landslide TIE between ALL OF YOU !!!!!!!!!
if i lose it is all america’s fault i mean, think about it, almost HALF OF MY READERS live in the states, say 900 daily, why wouldn’t you be allowed to vote?! gr i45hyr0ghrepngfmf;lnr epoigy4309t43ytyure hgrelkvnfblkfdnblkfdnbfbn poigu43-9tu43gpirelknfdknfdbf
that crazy work-out guy is in the park beginning his assault of MAKING ME FEEL OUT OF SHAPE AND UGLY. i have been up since 6.38am, fil has early meetings on wednesdays. last nite’s birthday was a success. everyone made fun of my card cos i wrote something serious and sweet and cos my family is unable to express emotions properly, my dad and brother made jokes about it FINE next time i will get one of those cards with a fake booger in it.
jokes on them though, i fully plagiarised the line out of the book i’m reading right now HAHA. suckers.
by the way booger should be spelled BUH-ger everytime i see BOOGER i want to punch it for some reason it makes me think of scooby-doo and ghosts and the word spooky which leads to that ghost writer show and all of those kids on it were raging nerds so when i see BOOGER i think of all of that and i want to destroy them all, all because of a fucking word that is spelled the most bullshit way ever.
anyway i’ve discovered that i cannot sleep after a bender, no matter how early i wake up, 4am, 5, 6, i stay awake, strange, you’d think i would sleep all afternoon. maybe it’s carry over from highschool days, getting up with the sun, drunk still, smelling like booze ew i just made my stomache flip-flop.
i exploded a, um, blemish on the back of my neck just now and it hurts, i might make it the focal point of my day and have everything revolve around it. notice how i said blemish like i am a lady.
i haven’t been biting my nails, they are getting long, i told fil he has to buy me a present if i grow them out, i need motivation cos i have less than zero willpower.
what other girl things can i tell you, oh yeah i changed make-up a month ago and while it is less cakey it is making my cheeks break out a bit i guess i have to start washing my face which i am sad about. you know how guys brag about not having barfed since 2003 or whatever, i brag about not washing my face. i do it in the shower obvs. but when i pass out at nite i just go to sleep with make-up on like a geisha except less classy. so the last time i washed my face for real before going to bed i must have been about 19, just turned. i should have an anniversary celebration about that.
i told my dad last nite his birthday falls on my blog’s anniversary, he didn’t care. some guy outside the pub, drunk guy mind you, asks me what i do and i said well i write and i have a blog and he smirked SMIRKED at me like what the fuck do you do kid, lay sod?
