Category Archives: Uncategorized
i am never eating turkey again let alone copious amounts of skin and i also mean it this time i was up til 6am forcing myself not to puke i did a little bit but i just sat indian style shivering and hiving my way through until i eventually passed out it was kind of scary i think it was food poisoning. hope everyone’s holidays were fun.
i just woke up to fil playing zelda for wii i wish i had enough energy to hog it off of him. more later.
i just rolled a hundred calabrese/salami prosciutto goat cheese basil tomato creations with toothpicks shoved in to hold together ungh. if my family doesn’t like them i am disowning myself cos they are truly delicious.
oh two nites ago we were playing guitar hero and i was afraid fil would take the guitar away from me so i pulled it into my body really fast and slammed the guitar neck into the bridge of my nose and it’s been sore ever since. my favourite.
the moral of the story is i am really greedy.
the huge glob cyst thing that was on my left wrist a yearish ago that went away is now growing back i think it’s a carpal tunnel thing. see you fucks i will let a huge disgusting ganglion grow on my hand just for you YOU’RE WELCOME.
i like squeezing it gently pulling it away from my hand and then squeezing it really hard ok that’s sick.
i got a pot of that body shop balm lotion and i said hey fil come here put your balls in this and they made this fwap sound and so there is a balls imprint in my lotion now ha. did i mention before that fil teabags me in the morning before he goes to work? if my face isn’t close to the edge of the bed he’ll teabag my foot or my hand instead haha MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the super+wife gave us a christmas card last week and not to be outdone i said to fil that we should get them a card and chocolates and then said well how do i give it to them do they have a mailbox of course i did not want to hand it off face to face and fil goes um knock on their door moron and i said NO WAY and then fil said ok fine i’ll go with you and i said NO and he said ok he’ll go alone and i said NO FUCKING WAY I DON’T WANT YOU GETTING CREDIT FOR MY CHOCOLATES I WILL DO IT MYSELF and fil said haha ok fine.
he reverse-psychologied me without even trying.
fil gets credit for EVERYTHING i do when people see us together they think i am some slob mutant in comparison cos he’s all adult and dressed nicely it drives me insane.
over the summer there was a clothing drive for a WOMEN’S shelter so i went through all my clothes and LOVINGLY folded them and filled three bag’s worth, they were pretty heavy, we walked them down to the car in the garage drove out to the visitor’s parking to drop them off and i said oh fil you go do it so he carries the bags over to these two librarian type looking ladies and i can see them grinning like horny nerds at him and breathlessly exclaim OH THANK YOU all cooey-like when they see the three bags of WOMEN’S CLOTHING he was offering. cos of that i am never ever EVER letting him carry anything and do the pass-off EVER AGAIN. i can’t get over HIM getting credit for MY clothes. so when he got in the car and we pulled out passed them i gave them MAJOR stink-eye, did they notice? NO.
i could write a bible’s worth of stories for when the bill comes and how i make it blatantly obvious that I am paying for it, and fil will still get thanked, sometimes i will say really loudly YOU’RE WELCOME from the other side of the room as i am leaving and time it for when fil would be saying it so that they only hear me i fucking swear i could be wearing a fur coat of twenty dollar bills and pluck out some of them to pay and no one would even notice.
dear raymi
i feel like a creep caus i read your blog a lot.
i fucked up last night and i was drunk i did a couple laaame things and put people in fucekd up positions caus i was not thinking.
i do my best to not talk about my fuck ups, just when i need to get it out i will vent.
i guess it is admiring that you are so open with everything. uh that wasn’t to mean i think you are a fuck up clearly you are not, pretty much the opposite from what i see.
and sometimes its nice to see that somebody you i feel like i stalk caus i have your website in my favourites has messed up and moved on and sometimes its just nice to have an example caus i realize my day will soon be over.
-rosanna
i don’t know why people make big deals about blue christmas lites THAT’S NOT A CHRISTMAS COLOUR they say with their hands in the air and their stupid fucking shoulders scrunched up to their ears um are you the christmas colours rep? in my head i am thinking about how stupid they are, complaining about a colour of lite that someone chose to adorn their home with personally offends you? why?!!? how about being greatful that someone put up any lites at all you know house after house after house with nothing and then oh blue lites wow you’re totally in a bad xmas mood now? gay. like there are suppose to be rules if you are planning to participate in christmas, you have to do it right, greens, reds, whites ONLY. fucking racists.
reminds me of elementary school during art class being told what to draw and how to draw it and if you did your own thing, S-, or “doesn’t listen to instructions.” (in my catholic elementary school they graded us VG+, VG- G, G+, G-, S, S- i don’t know what was below S- cos i never got anything below it, but i think it’s pretty dumb to have pluses and minuses beside a VERY GOOD like it is VERY GOOD yet, STILL KIND OF CRAPPY? it’s either VERY GOOD or VERY NOT GOOD make up your mind, retard.)
i think blue lites look wicked especially the LED ones but the regular ones when i look at them they are all blurry and i feel like i am wearing ten pairs of beer goggles and on acid, now that totally puts me in the holiday spirit. the LED blue lites are barely even blue they are mostly white with a tiny blue tint GET THE FUCK OVER IT YOU TACKY FUCKING LOSER WITH THE INFLATABLE SNOW GLOBE ON YOUR FRONT LAWN THE SIZE OF A GARAGE WHY DON’T YOU JUST STRETCH A BILL COSBY SWEATER OVER YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!?
yesterday we went to radmad‘s karaoke party but we didn’t get there til 1 in the morning and after a million drinks and rounds of guitar hero with pitt. oh yeah we saw tori spelling on bloor and she was carrying her own umbrella and walking and that somehow delighted me i dunno i guess i expect celebrities to travel by horse chariot or something anyway she was wearing this bad army bomber slut jacket and her ass was wide.
i 8 mile karaoke choked on the mic at radmad’s, it was funny cos i turned off this girl’s song who was lying down on the couch and singing and doing a perfectly good job of it then i put on hella good and after three lines realised i was waaaaaaaay too fucked to even read the words let alone stand AND sing AND do a better job than that girl was doing so i sat down on the seat near the tv to change the song and when i bent over i felt like i might puke so i didn’t change the song i just kind of sat there uselessly while everyone was like WHATTHEFUCKHAPPENED? and i immediately became everyone’s enemy you know when it’s howling hour at a party and everyone is feeling HONEST and they are unable to pretend show you they like you and they’re trashed mean yeah that was the fucking vibe haha.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
