canada party

future boyfriend john

hahahaha

me: why dont u write about last nite
when u lost the ability to communicate
because you were in a drunk vortex

Phil: super busy
i will tomorrow

me: i am kidding

Phil: i was

me: k
were we kidding

Phil: y

me: k
sigh im bored im going to go figure something to do with my life
should i be an engineer too

Phil: i thought you are going to be a famous(er) internet/media figure/writer

me: yeah well that too
i am already making that happen by eating less, which is boring

Phil: then write more

me: i figure while i am eating less i could be a pilot

Phil: work on that gallery thing you were talking about before
make that happen

me: fil i am taking the piss right now
jeez

Phil: oh

me: i have to wii exercise
see you

Phil: i am distracted with numbers right now
k bye

sigh.

saganaki

seconds before my face is almost taken out.

also did you hear about sarah taylor?

if you ever want me to clean your kitchen do something to piss me off and i will bleach the fuck out of your oven and fantastik the shit out of your counter. i don’t do floors. cleaning solves all the world’s problems. i may still want you to die but at least all the shoes are in order and my underwear is folded and the toilet is clean.

this might be the hundredth time i have said this but when i worked at the hardware store on saturdays cleaning the bathroom was my favourite cos i could stretch it out to last an hour and i would listen to my cd walkman and tune everyone out and then you get really into being anal about soap residue and fallen out hairs and destroying the planet by using a thousand paper towels to wipe stuff clean fuck the planet i hate my life!

i can’t wait for fifty comments about cleaning obsession.

saying CD WALKMAN really dates it no? wow sorry, fossil!

oh man i LOVE ray liotta he and kiefer sutherland should have their own talk show remember this?

the broker pancaketuesday’s new video. el hystericle!!

yesterday was fun. we ate at colossus. we had the huge booth table and we had to move to another one cos this fucking woman called and requested it cos she needed to breastfeed and then i went to the bathroom and SAW HER BREASTFEEDING IN THERE! her baby was ugly anyway and we got three bottles of wine out of the trade. i saw a very pregnant chick drinking red wine. i almost got my face taken out by the flaming saganaki no biggie. if you’re going to breastfeed in public why do you need a hidden booth that someone was celebrating their birthday at if you’re going to be bold and publicly breastfeed then shouldn’t you just do it anywhere? that woman was a fucking LIAR and only wanted the booth for her nerdy friends. i almost said something to her in the bathroom but her baby started crying. i was so mad i couldn’t even pee.

jesus camp is CRAZY i have ten thousand things to say about it but no time right now have a nice afternoon.

don’t be jeals of me for being at the coronation of elizabeth.